Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Robbie’s soft touch on my back had become a firm hold around me, his arms all but holding me up. I tried to fight my racing heart, the ringing in my ears, the tunnelling of my vision.
The living space tilted, like the floor had decided straight lines were optional. The air felt too thick in my lungs, and my fingers went cold and clumsy at my sides.
I fixed my gaze on a single point on the wall and forced myself to breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth, the way my therapist had drilled into me until it became muscle memory.
I’d been braced for that name to fall from Ji-ho’s lips, yet the visceral rip of pure fear at hearing it left me wanting to vomit.
Loki screeched a sound of pure upset and agony, and then he was there, a light weight on my shoulder and a press of soft feathers against the skin of my neck.
His talons pricked gently through my shirt, grounding me.
Loki smelled faintly of paper and warm dust, like old books left in sunlight.
It was ridiculous, but the scent made my throat burn.
I had the tiniest support animal in the world, yet he packed a huge punch.
I’m okay, I lied weakly to my bird.
He didn’t reply, just sent me a wave of affection and support so strong it bolstered me.
My vision cleared, and the sickness receded.
When I joined the Connection, my file had been sealed. Only the very highest-level clearance could access the sordid details about what Vance Broadlake had done to me. But Ji-ho had got through the seal. Of course he had.
And he’d shown Channing, who still couldn’t look at me.
His face had gone that washed-out, sickly colour people got right before they either vomited or cried.
A notebook was open on his lap – he was using that rather than his trusty SPEL app since this was off the books – but his hands were clenched so tightly around it that the pages bowed.
He looked like he wanted to say something – anything – but he didn’t know what to say.
Torture wasn’t something seen every day. And some things you couldn’t unsee.
I was sorry that some of my trauma had been used to scrape more green off him.
I took a steadying breath and gently disentangled myself from Robbie. I was grateful for his support, but I needed to stand on my own two feet, if only to prove to myself that I could.
I planted my feet shoulder-width apart, like I was squaring up to an invisible opponent. My hands shook, so I curled them into fists and pretended it was from anger instead of remembered fear.
Robbie let me move away without a fight, his hand trailing a soft caress over my back as I stepped away. A back he knew was riddled with scars from Vance Broadlake.
My skin jumped beneath his touch, nerves misfiring, my body remembering things my mind would rather forget. I pushed it all away. Far away.
It’s over. I survived.
‘All right,’ I said into the uncomfortable silence. ‘If a doppelganger took over Vance Broadlake, then it looks like I’m going to Wraithmore sooner than I thought.’
‘The fuck you are!’ Robbie exploded. His voice hit the walls like he’d tossed a brick at them.
Ji-ho flinched, shoulders jumping, and Loki’s feathers puffed along his neck. Robbie’s jaw flexed hard enough that I heard his teeth click. I was suddenly reminded that he was the king of the ogres, vital and strong. A warrior. A killer. And he did not look happy.
‘By Hel, Stacy!’ he continued. ‘You are not going to visit your kidnapper. I forbid it!’
I forgave him the words spoken in fury, but barely. I raised my chin. ‘You’re not going to stop me, Robbie. I’ll go even if I have to use Ava to Siren song past all the guards.’
She could do it too. I’d dug into Ava Grey when she started dating Rupert. Her song was strong, level five strong.
Robbie breathed heavily through his nose, hands opening and closing into fists. ‘You’d get her into trouble.’
‘She’s rich, white and beautiful.’ I shrugged with a casualness I didn’t feel. I didn’t want to use Ava, but I needed to get into Wraithmore, and I’d do it however I could. ‘She’ll be fine. Besides, Daddy runs one of the biggest law firms in the UK. He’ll get her out of any trouble I get her in.’
‘Maybe,’ Robbie conceded. ‘But do you think Rupert will forgive you for endangering her? For using her like that?’
He had a point, and no, Rupert wouldn’t be so quick to forgive me for putting the love of his life in danger. And I got that. I’d kill him if he put Robbie at risk.
That was assuming, of course, Ava could or would even help me.
‘I have to do this,’ I said. ‘I have to meet him, to look him in the eye and see if he’s telling the truth.
’ I met Robbie’s hard mercury gaze. ‘It’ll give me closure.
Closure I always should have had. But more …
there surely must be more doppelgangers out there, but I know only of Jingo.
He’s always been obsessed with me. How long has the obsession gone on for? When did it start?’
Chest heaving, Robbie started to pace. His voice, when it came out, was a low growl that sounded like it had been scraped along gravel. ‘You think it might have been Jingo who cut you?’
‘Maybe. If Broadlake is telling the truth.’
‘I’ll tear Troy apart with my bare hands,’ he rumbled. ‘Rip his insides out and barbeque them!’
‘Robbie,’ I chastised. ‘We like Troy, remember?’
‘I didn’t like him that much. And I want Jingo dead.’
‘If you kill Jingo while he’s in Troy, then you’ll be his next host, and we’ll be fucked all over again. Calm down, get your shit together, and let’s work out a motherfucking plan. We need to get rid of Jingo once and for all.’
Robbie huffed and dragged a hand through his hair, carefully running it over one side of his tusks and then the other. Jaw working, he shook his head at himself and looked at me, resigned. ‘I can get us into Wraithmore. I’ve done it before.’
Of course he could get me into a top-secret high-security paranormal prison without issue.
‘Don’t tell me,’ I said in an attempt at levity. ‘You know of a secret tunnel?’
‘The dwarves did build it, so that’s a possibility,’ he said. ‘But no. My methods are far more prosaic.’
I sighed. ‘Bribes?’ In the Other realm, that felt like the answer half the time, and I hated that.
Loki shifted on my shoulder, feathers brushing my jaw, and his weight steadied me again.
Robbie nodded darkly. ‘Bribes and calling in favours with the right people. Leave it with me. One way or another, if you need to look Broadlake in the eye for closure, I’ll get it for you. I’ll get you into Wraithmore.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t thank me. You haven’t been there. It’s a vile place.’
‘Yes, but it’s a place that holds my kidnapper, but it also holds Amber’s father.’
Robbie grimaced. ‘Stacy, you’re dealing with enough without adding the Domini into the mix.’
‘That’s the thing. I’m not adding the Domini into the mix – Jingo is. He’s the one who gave me the “evidence” on my father’s case. The necklace in his hand …’
‘Jingo is trying to muddy the waters and distract you,’ Robbie argued.
‘Maybe, but I’m not letting this case make me lose my focus. The Domini are lurking, and they need to be dealt with too.’
‘Can we focus on one impossibility at a time?’ Robbie asked.
‘No. Get me in to see Broadlake, and then I want to see Shaun Bolton. Two birds, one horrifying prison.’
‘You don’t ask for much, do you?’ my fiancé groused.
‘Shoot for the moon,’ I said, ‘and land in the stars. Robbie, get me in to see those arseholes.’
‘Your wish is my command.’