Chapter 30
THIRTY
I stood on the familiar doorstep, a step behind Knight, my gut churning. My arms were folded across my chest, my fingers tight in a fist. My jaw ached from clenching it so hard.
I could smell him all over me, feel his fingers, still marking me, his cruel voice. You will never be free of me . I hated that he was right.
Before arriving, Knight had taken me shopping, refusing to let me go home to gather my own things. I was now wearing clothes he bought me, once again showing how I now belonged to him.
He was holding an obnoxiously opulent and large bouquet of flowers, along with a unicorn balloon.
Strange that a grown woman liked unicorn balloons.
I was in no way admitting that I absolutely, totally, wanted one too.
Its eyes were closed, a small smirk on its cute, squishy face, and I wanted to pull the knife from my arm band and pop it.
The front door opened, revealing the face of his stupid, stupid heart and I had to grip my hand to the material of my dress to keep from punching her stupid face in.
"Hey," she smiled, her eyes going from Knight, soft affection in her gaze, then roaming behind him... to me.
I stiffened, waiting for her reaction, especially when Knight wrapped an arm around my waist, thrusting me forward, his hand squeezing my hip. "This is Tatiana."
Her smile didn't falter from her face.
This stupid bitch, so confident in her relationship with him that she didn't miss a beat. She thrust her hand forward, her smile growing brighter. "Hi, I'm Maya."
I was going to scratch her eyeballs from her stupid, plain face.
Instead, I bared my teeth in a barely there smile. "Nice to meet you."
She met my squeezing handshake with a firm grip. She didn't release it right away, instead clasping it just long enough to hold me still. I widened my stance, preparing for the worst, but her gaze moved downward, taking me in.
The look wasn't threatening but...appraising? Curious.. dare I say, interested ?
When she was done, she stepped back, giving Knight a knowing grin. "You were right."
"About what?" I growled, unable to contain my indignation.
"She is goddamn sexy, just like you said."
"I'm not into threesomes," I quickly responded, lying through my teeth. But threesomes with her were out because I would stab her in her eyes before we were done.
"Too bad." She glanced down shyly, running a hand through her short, white-blonde hair.
Did she actually think I would be happy to join in with the two of them?
"Sorry sweetie, this one's mine." Knight responded. Wait, what?
His hand was back around my hip, tightening possessively, his low chuckle interrupted by another body appearing at the doorway.
"Did someone say threesomes?" Another woman appeared, wrapping an arm around Maya's neck and pulling her close, kissing her.
Wait. Had I misjudged this?
"This is my girlfriend," Maya said, "Abby."
"Girlfriend," I said with emphasis, leaning forward to shake Abby's outstretched hand, who fanned her face.
"Whoa, who brought a unicorn to the party?" And she wasn't talking about the balloon. She had long purple hair, braided on the side in a faux hawk, deep curls cascading down her forehead and shoulders.
"So," I tried to catch up, wiping a sweaty palm across my thighs, suddenly nervous. "You two are a couple?"
"For two years," Maya answered,
"And you and Knight..." I was too embarrassed to finish my sentence and a slow blush flushed from my chest up my neck.
"Knight sa–– helped me once, and then he stuck around like the ugly sweater your aunt knits you for Christmas," Maya shook her head, feigning disgust, though she was smiling. "I just can't get rid of him."
So. Knight and her weren't fucking?"
I glanced at him, and he didn't look back at me, but the smirk on his face said it all. He wasn't hiding his amusement, like, at all, and I wanted to punch him in the face. He was enjoying this way too much.
"Yeah," Abby agreed. "I'd say this is the first time he's brought us anything interesting." She too, was giving me an appraising look, though it was more playful than serious. "Or done anything useful."
Knight didn't appear offended, though he and Maya shared a look, one that I thought I was beginning to understand. God, I wanted to kill Knight for embarrassing me like this. Why didn't he just say something? Sweat drenched my underarms as I could only stare between them speechlessly.
He brushed a thumb across my cheek, whispering for my ears only, "There's the blush I've missed."
God! No! I was blushing. I internally winced at how jealous I'd been. I'd brought a gun to her house, for fuck's sake!
We were suddenly interrupted by a loud shriek. "Uncle Knight!"
The two girls were shoved aside, revealing a bright blue-eyed girl flying across the space between us, the faint smell of honeysuckle following in her wake.
Within seconds, the flowers scattered to the ground and the unicorn began to take flight as Knight dropped everything to catch the flying creature. "My heart!"
At his exclamation, my cheeks burned even hotter. I jumped up, easily grabbing the balloon from flying away.
I couldn't look at any of them in the eyes, especially not Maya or Knight, as they invited us inside.
"Put me down," Honey squealed, squirming until she was back on her feet. Then she put a hand to her hip, jutting it out as she surveyed me. "You're back."
"Hi," I thrust the balloon towards her, scooping up the flowers from the ground, trying to ignore Maya's confused stare.
"For me?" Honey squealed, grabbing them.
"Tatiana insisted," Knight lied, giving me the credit for bringing a bright grin to her face.
"Thank you!" She inhaled deeply, clutching the balloon in a fist of tiny fingers. "Come in."
She led the way inside while Knight greeted the couple, headed past the living and dining rooms, the kitchen, then to a small den.
She tied the balloon to a stuffed elephant sitting on top of a black coffee table, plunking down next to it. On it was a chess board. "Do you like to play?"
I eyed the board warily. "I've played a couple of times." Rook tried to get me into it but I was mostly an unwilling participant.
"Did you like it?" Combined with the enthusiasm of her words, the bright excitement in her eyes, and three other chess boards placed strategically through the room, all of them looking like unfinished games, I had the feeling I was about to be beaten in chess. "Just because you played doesn't mean you like it," Honey stated matter-of-factly.
I suddenly felt self-conscious as I felt Knight's presence at my back, watching us, while Maya and Abby asked him about breakfast.
"That's true." I settled across from her, crossing my legs. "I never understood what the point was, when I had so many other things to worry about."
Her eyebrows knit together thoughtfully. "Chess can help you in a bunch of different ways. It improves your memory and focus, boosts your creativity, and increases strategic thought. Would that help you?"
I was now certain that I had the intelligence of a small snail compared to her.
"Yes," I admitted, bashfully. Lord, what a day for humility.
"Want to play?"
"Honey," Maya said, "time for you go get dressed. Then it's time for breakfast."
Oh, thank God.
Honey looked down at her pink, elephant pajamas. "But I am dressed."
Maya smiled patiently, "I mean your school clothes."
"Oh. Can my friend come with me?" Big blue eyes blinked up at her mom.
"Tatiana can, but Knight has to stay here."
"I wasn't talking about Knight," she grumbled, taking my hand, once again, leading me towards the stairs. "I know the rules."
As soon as we hit the stairs, she let go of my hand, racing enthusiastically upwards. "I can't wait for you to see my new elephant!"
"Don't forget to use your chart!" Maya yelled up the stairs, her voice halfway drowned out by clattering in the kitchen. The smell of bacon filled the air, making my stomach beg me for food.
"I know, I know," Honey grumbled, running to her room. By the time I'd reached it, she was holding up a purple, plaid elephant. "Look! Mom gave it to me yesterday. Did you learn anything new about elephants?"
"I did," I was strangely pleased that I'd looked them up after our meeting. "Did you know they can pick up a single grain of rice with their trunks?"
Her lips pressed together for a brief second before a smile lit her face. "I knew that already but I'm so happy you learned something new! Did you know that they can recognize themselves in the mirror?
I was lost in the babble of elephant facts while Honey used a chart on her wall that had pictures that represented changing clothes, brushing her teeth and hair, etc. She made her bed with an exactness, pulling the blanket tight. She pointed to each picture before she did it, going back to touch them again when she was done.
The energy in the room was light and happy, and warm and gushy feelings began to blossom inside me. Was this what it was like, living in a normal household?
How the hell did Knight know these people?
The chatter suddenly stopped and she focused intently on a bright pink ribbon, tied to the neck of a large batman doll. "Did you bring your gun today?"
Somewhere, a record scratched in my mind and the world suddenly narrowed into focus. Shit. Shit. She hadn't forgotten that.
Of course not. The girl was smart as a whip.
"Why are you asking?" I hedged, trying to walk the line of not making a big deal about it but also not making it into some secret.
She deliberately tied and untied the ribbon, making sure that the ends were the same length. "In case the bad man comes back."
I sat on the white, princess bed, giving her my full attention. "What bad man?"
"The one who killed my daddy."
I think if my eyes were any wider, they would pop from my head. Fuck fuck shit. How should I deal with this?
"Someone killed your dad?"
She gave me a look that clearly said, no shit, Sherlock . "I just told you that."
I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry about that. Do you know who it was?"
She shook her head. "Knight said he took care of the bad man."
"And you're not sure about it though?"
She didn't answer for a long moment. She moved on to the next doll, straightening it, then finally, "He said he did, so I think the bad man is gone."
"So why are you worried?"
"But what if--" she paused, a little breath of frustration coming out, "what if another bad man comes?"
I couldn't, wouldn't lie to her. I couldn't promise that another bad man wouldn't come; I had enough experience to know that bad things just happened .
"Sit down," I pat the bed next to me, and she scooted backwards onto it, putting space between us before settling into a soft pile of colorful, stuffed animals. Wide eyes gazed at me, her little chest moving like hummingbird wings.
"Look," I said, when I had her full attention. "Knight is strong and brave. If he says he took care of the bad guy, then I know he did it. But, if you ever need someone else, if a bad guy ever comes for you, I will be here to protect you, too."
She eyed me suspiciously, an eyebrow quirking upward. "You promise?"
"I promise," I held out my pinky finger. "I swear it."
She stared at it for a long moment before, hesitatingly, hooked hers with mine and we shook on it.
I leaned forward, whispering, "Because I can be pretty bad ass too."
She broke out in a smile. "You said a bad word."
"I did."
She quickly hoped off the bed and ran down the stairs. "Mom! Tatiana said a bad word!"
"Great," I mumbled, sighing and following her down the stairs. Was I going to be in trouble now? I shouldn't be allowed near kids.
The smell of a well-cooked breakfast greeted me as I met them in the kitchen. They didn't comment on my foul language, instead pulling out a chair for me to sit in between the two women.
I ate a little nervously, feeling uncomfortable around so much soft feminine energy. But they laughed as they talked, including me in the conversation, until I grew relaxed and comfortable. I realized I liked hanging out with them; it was easy and welcoming.
As I ate, I watched Honey curiously as she lined her chicken nuggets in a row. Then she ate, starting at one end and going down the row until she came to the last one.
The whole time, I was fully aware of Knight's gaze on me, burning like fire across my skin, prickly with his heat. He noticed when they touched me, or made me laugh, and I wished I could know what was going on in his head.
When we finally left, I ignored the cocky smirk to his gaze. As soon as we were in the car, he chuckled, brushing a hand over my cheek playfully. "We good, Tati? No more jealousy?"
"Shut up," I mumbled, slumping down in the passenger seat.
He didn't start the engine right away, and silence filled the space between us. I was embarrassed how I assumed who 'his heart' was and my reaction to it. It scared me the possessiveness I felt for him. That the walls I created around me were made of sand, so easily washed away by small, simple gestures from him.
I loved him.
I hated how much I loved him.
He finally spoke. "When I left Cuba for the last time, I was..." He hesitated, seemingly struggling for a word, "in a bad place. My parents and grandparents were all dead. And I––I'd almost lost you––"
"You didn't lose me!" I cut him off. "You left me––"
"If we hadn't been in that back hallway, you'd be dead." His gaze was fierce, his eyes betraying pain, and my words died in my throat, only now realizing what he'd been feeling back then. He'd shut me out and so I... I hadn't seen it, but now, he was showing it to me. "And I could never let that happen again." His finger hooked with mine but he stared at the black, leather console. "And I had so much anger inside me. I hated my parents. God, I hated them. And yet, I was still upset when they died. Plus they took my abuelo from me, and my grandma. I loved them both. And I missed you," a hand to his chest, subconsciously rubbing it. "I missed you, so much, Tati, it hurt to think of you."
I couldn't speak.
"And so, I started doing what I'd done in Cuba." His eyes finally met mine. "I started killing men who hurt women. And Maya's husband was my first."
No air stirred around us. My throat was full and my whole body, hot.
"We told Honey something different, but the truth was, her dad would've killed Maya if I hadn't intervened. I was only in the right place at the right time, but it felt so good, Tatiana," he was pleading with me to understand, his fingers tracing over my hand, "I felt in control. Something I hadn't felt in a long time. And so," his finger was tracing, tracing, "I hired someone to help me find these men. Someone to make certain that I don't kill an innocent man. And I don't regret it. Not one bit. In fact," a slight hesitation now, "I would compare it to a drug, Tatiana. I get a rush from it. I'm addicted."
"And you," I had to swallow down the lump in my throat, " still do it?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"Oh."
We didn't speak, not for a long moment, Knight letting me process what he'd just told me.
And I...I found that I didn't see him any less for it. In fact, I... kinda liked it. He was protecting the innocent, women and children who couldn't protect themselves. Giving them a chance at freedom. A new life.
"And you stayed friends, after that?"
"With Maya?"
I nodded.
"Yes. And Honey."
"Your heart ."
He nodded. His grin was back, the unspoken acceptance between us now there. "So, are we good?"
I scowled at him. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Why didn't you just ask?"
I looked away, a small smile playing at my lips. God, this was ridiculous.
"I like the jealous Tatiana," he teased.
"I wasn't jealous," I lied.
"Mmm," he murmured, leaning towards my ear. "Then I can't wait to find out what happens when you actually are."
"Shut up," I pushed at him playfully. "I really don't think you do."
"Oh believe me," he leaned up to brush his lips over mine, sending a tingling throughout my whole body, "I do."