Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
The ear-splitting ringtone of my phone shook me out of my slumber like an anvil to my head. Blinking sleepily, I grabbed my phone and tossed the charging wire to the side. My voice was a gravely sound from so little sleep. "Dante," I said. "What's going on?"
"Rose is in the hospital."
Suddenly alert, I shot from the bed. "What's wrong?"
"They think she's in labor."
"Already?" Pressing the phone between my ear and my shoulder, I hopped from foot to foot, throwing on a pair of black jeans. First Honey, and now this .
"Maybe. They're still assessing."
"I'll be there in twenty." I glanced at my watch; I'd only slept for three hours. "Anything new about Honey?" Even though I probably already knew the answer, I hated the silence that followed my question.
Then, finally, "No. I'm sorry."
Fuck. Fuck! I threw my phone to the bed, panic rising.
My world was filled with a constant threat, and no matter how hard I tried, I had never been able to get away from it. I'd accepted this as my reality.
And, because of this, I did my best to keep those people at arm's length. Trying to protect those that were innocent—people like Maya—from all the terrible things lurking in the shadows, never allowing them to become close enough for me to care for them.
And yet, the night I'd killed her husband--a violent, alcoholic, abusive dick--she'd been so grateful to me for saving her life, that she insisted I come over for dinner.
There, I met Honey and everything changed. They loved with their whole heart and gave that to me in return. It felt too good, too warm, too soft, too addictive.
For the first time, I felt an unconditional love, like a family should be, and I couldn't turn away from that.
And so, I'd kept them tucked away in safety, enough that it wasn't a problem.
Until now .
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. If something happened to her because of me...
After throwing on my sandals, I forced myself still enough to take control of my emotions.
It wouldn't help anyone if I was panicked.
I took in two deep breaths, then jumped back into action, throwing a t-shirt on over my head. We needed to go. "Tati!"
Where was she?
There was no smell lingering in the air--coffee or breakfast. No sounds coming from the bathroom or downstairs.
I stilled, suddenly realizing that the house was too quiet.
I couldn't hear her, at all.
Chest heaving with the panic beginning to rise, I scoured the wooden dresser next to my bed.
Her phone was gone, along with her keys.
No! Fuck no!
She couldn't have.
My eyes landed on my phone. There was no blinking light indicating a new message.
Did she fucking leave?!
It lit up again, and I grabbed it before it could ring twice. This time it was Bourbon. "I'm on my way," I said.
"Bring Romeo and the guys with you."
"Why?"
"Something doesn't feel right. I want extra security, just in case."
"You got it."
He hung up before I could say anything else.
I texted Joey and Liam, giving them instructions and telling him to bring more men, my mind racing the whole time. Where the fuck was Tatiana? I headed towards the door, texting the nurses, Nicky and Dallas, next. Just as I paused to turn off the light, something caught my eye, and the flash of red made me freeze in place.
A red ribbon. On my dresser.
I'd been too panicked by the call to notice it before, but now I grabbed it, wrapping it tight around my fingers.
It was velvet, soft and thick, exactly like the one I'd used the night I'd sworn my allegiance to Bourbon. The one I'd wrapped around Tatiana’s and my wrists, binding us together.
"Fuck!"
My heart raced as I hurriedly made my way through the top floor, then down the stairs, calling Tatiana's name. I searched every room. There was a missing water bottle from the fridge. The living and dining rooms were empty. I kicked the sofa as I passed, my frustration boiling over.
Toe throbbing, I grabbed my keys and yanked the front door open, making Romeo jump.
"Did you see Tatiana leave?"
His eyes widened, "Tatiana?" He looked around, like she would appear out of thin air.
"For fuck’s sake," I growled, slamming the door behind me. "She's gone."
"I didn't see her leave."
"I'm going to kill you, you fucker. How could you not notice her sneaking out?"
"I--I--You didn't say to watch her . I thought..."
"Just stop," I interrupted, reigning in the temptation to punch something. I didn't have time for his stuttering. Besides, Tatiana knew how to evade detection, all thanks to Rook. "Get on the phone. Call everyone you know that she might reach out to. Follow me out while you do that. We're going to the hospital. Bourbon wants you on duty."
"Yes sir." Without questioning why, Romeo was in motion in seconds, headed towards his car, his phone already to his ear.
She'd left.
A range of emotions washed over me as I jumped into my car. How could she leave me like this? I slammed my car door shut. When the whole world was burning down around me? When I needed her the most.
My engine fired as I shot down the road, Romeo following closely behind me.
Poppy . I was going to pay her a visit, as soon as possible. She would know where Tatiana was.
And then, as I was flying through red lights, it hit me.
A red ribbon. On the dresser. With no notice. No goodbye.
I'd done the exact same thing to her. After I killed her parents and she'd had no one left in the world, I'd left her, like a coward, a ribbon on her dresser my only goodbye.
Goddamn it, I was a fucking idiot.
I thought buying her contract and forcing her to be with me all the time would make her learn to forgive me.
I now knew how she'd felt that morning in Cuba. My chest throbbed, physically aching with the pain of her absence.
She was gone, and wouldn't return.
Just like I'd done to her.
Liam was waiting for me outside the hospital when I arrived.
"She's in room 601." He handed me a coffee, which I gratefully accepted. "Joey'll be here in five minutes and he'll cover the back entrance. Matt is already covering the hallway to the maternity ward, but the problem is, the nurses aren't happy about all the extra men."
"I'll deal with the nurses."
Romeo met up with me as I entered the hospital. "Any word?"
"She stopped by the Elite Majesty early this morning."
I cursed. That was a hotel-casino right over the border into cartel territory. What the hell was Tatiana doing in cartel territory? After everything that had happened lately?
I wanted to take her over my lap and tan her hide, but I couldn't leave Rose, not while she was having her baby. "Fine," I said. "I want you outside Rose's room. And do better this time."
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. If I'd have thought she'd try to escape..."
"It's Tatiana, of course she would try." I growled out. I still wanted to punch his face in, but I waved him off, instead. "Go on. Bourbon needs us." Tatiana was, and always would be, the ghost from my past. Like a mirage, always slipping from my grasp, just when I thought I'd captured her.
He nodded grimly, rushing forward and past as Nicky walked up to me. Wrinkles lined her eyes, and her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head. There was a large wet stain on her shirt that I decided I didn't want to ask about.
"How is Rose?" I asked the nurse.
"They tried to keep her from going into labor but it didn't work." She easily kept pace with me as we made our way to Rose's room. "Looks like this baby is coming, whether they're ready or not."
"Of course," I shook my head, a small smile on my lips. "Just like his dad."
"Or his mom, from what I can tell. The woman is fierce."
"You have no idea." I paused, worry making my insides constrict, "So for sure she's having the baby?"
"Yes."
Frowning, I drained the rest of the coffee, then tossed the cup into the trash. It looked like it was going to be a long morning.
"I need you to get the rest of the nurses--"
"I'm already on it," she cut me off. "I know how to do my job." She gave me a playful smile before walking off, already yelling at some of the nurses crowded around the nurses station.
As soon as I entered the room, Torian's eyes cut to me. He was standing just inside the door, not watching Rose, but rather, keeping an eye on everyone coming in and out. Dante, Coulter, and Aster were crowded together, focused on Rose but keeping their distance to give her space.
Bourbon's eyes were only for Rose, who was pale and sweaty. She was curled up in a ball, and he was leaning over her, his hand gripping hers, murmuring softly.
"Knight," Lifting her head at my entrance, Rose called me over. I plastered a smile on my face, taking care not to show the worry I was feeling. She reached out her hand and I took it. "You're here."
"Of course I am," I ran a hand over her hair, pulling the loose strands from her forehead.
"I wasn't sure you'd make it."
"I'll always make it," I replied, conviction filling me as the realization of what was happening washed over me.
A baby.
A nephew, all my own. To spoil and protect.
Then the crushing blow that Tatiana wasn't here for this moment. I forced my face calm--Rose shouldn't be worried about this. But I couldn't hide it, not from Rose. "Where's Tatiana?"
"She'll be here," I lied.
Her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes moving over my shoulder. "But..."
"It's okay. Don't worry about her," I said, changing the subject. "So your little lovebug decided to come early."
A smile crinkled at the corner of her eyes. "I guess so."
"Already making demands."
"That's no surprise," she chuckled, shaking her head. "He's got King blood."
"Yeah, he does." I bent over, kissing the top of her forehead.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?"
"I know the timing is bad." Her gaze was filled with regret, "Any news on Honey?"
"Not yet. But we'll find her. For now, just bring my nephew into this world, safe and sound."
"Excuse me," a doctor swept into the room, giving us a bright smile. "Some space for the mom, please."
I took a step back, replacing my hand with Bourbon's as the obstetrician took over, talking to them and checking over Rose.
"Is Tatiana really coming?" Aster stepped up next to me, and I could feel both Dante and Coulter watching us. She's gone, she left me, she gave me what I deserved...
I clamped down on my thoughts and shook my head "I don't think so."
"What does that mean?" Aster asked.
"I don't know," was all I could say, the weight of her last ribbon heavy in my pocket. "I don't even know where she is."
Her green eyes darkened with worry. "Is she okay?"
"I'm sure she's fine," Coulter stepped up to us, his pinky finger looping through hers.
"True." She nodded, bringing their hands to clasp to her chest. "She's tough."
The air in the room suddenly shifted, creating a tangible gravity as Rose let out an abrupt gasp. Her heavy breathing quickened and her face contorted with pain as she clutched her protruding stomach, every muscle in her body tensing up.
We all watched in anticipation - a strange mixture of awe and fear - as the seriousness of the moment fell over the room.
It was time.
* * *
Hours later, Rose was in full labor. She was on her back, heaving, the obstetrician at the foot of her bed. "Push, Rose. I know you're tired but you need to keep pushing."
Rose made a screaming, frustrated noise, cinching her fists into the white sheets of her bed.
"You're doing so good," Bourbon, beside her, soothed, a look of concern on his face. "What can I do to help? Should we change the angle of the bed? Tell me what you need and I'll make it happen."
"You can push this baby out for me."
Bourbon swallowed his laugh at the glare she gave him. "Anything but that."
Sighing, she laid her head back, her chest heaving as she whined. "I don't know."
"Honey, it always helps to change positions, why don't you try moving the bed?" One of the nurses asked.
She inhaled a deep breath, then another, trying to control her breathing. Then she nodded. "Yes, okay. Change the position of the bed. I want my back upward."
Bourbon immediately complied, hitting the button. She groaned in pain and clutched at her stomach, and Bourbon faltered, but she nodded and waved her hand, encouraging him. "It's okay. Keep going."
They moved her bed, her position on the bed. They fed her ice chips and wiped a damp cloth across her forehead. The minutes ticked onward, as her labor grew more and more intense. She pushed and pushed, until finally, she threw her hands upwards. "I can't do this!"
"Of course you can," Aster said, wiping the damp cloth across her forehead. "You can do anything."
"Baby, you're so strong." Bourbon kissed the top of her head. "So strong."
She leaned against him, squeezing her eyes shut, a tear trailing down it. "I don't know..."
"Just listen to your body." The obstetrician nodded, clasping Rose's knees with a heartening squeeze. "You're doing so good."
"I can't." Rose shook her head. "I don't think I can. Maybe we can do a C-section?"
"Sweetheart," I walked to Rose and her eyes met mine. "You've gone through much harder than this, remember?" She didn't tear her gaze from mine, so I continued, "Remember how cold it was in Russia? And how strong and brave you were?" She nodded, tears tracking down her face, her eyes clouded as if she was remembering. "You escaped because you were strong and courageous. And I know you can do this too. Your baby might be stubborn," at this, she gave a tired half-laugh, "but you're strong enough to take it. To do what needs to be done."
Our eyes stayed locked. Our mutual suffering in Russia had bonded us, and the reminder of how she'd survived that seemed to embolden her.
"Yes. I did live through Russia." She nodded, determination filling her gaze. "Okay," she breathed in and out.
"Ready, babe?" Bourbon asked.
"Yes," she nodded, taking in sucking, wailing breaths. "I-I'm ready."
"Use the pain," Bourbon said. "Use it to make you stronger. To help you push."
"The baby's almost here," the obstetrician encouraged her, "but he won't make it on his own."
"It's coming!" Rose grunted as another wave of contractions hit her. She pushed with all her might, her face red and neck straining. The tension in the room grew, filling all the spaces inside my chest. It swelled and billowed, with more nurses joining us now. Everyone could tell it was almost time.
Rose pushed and breathed, breathed and pushed, as everyone else in the room held their breath, waiting in anticipation.
After several minutes, the doctor's face lit up in a bright smile. "I can see a tuft of hair!"
Aster squealed in delight, hugging Coulter. Bourbon kissed the top of Rose's head, while the doctor urged her to keep going.
The air crackled with a magical energy I had never experienced before. It was filled with joy, and a sense of home, of family, of unconditional love. It was untainted by the darkness that came with living in this world, free from all sin, full of innocence and joy.
It reminded me of the first time I met Tatiana - despite her poverty and her parent's cruelty, she still had hope in the world around her. In me. Amid the chaos around me and an ever-looming dread outside our walls, all I wanted was her by my side.
To talk about the wonders of the world, as well as the small and simple things, too. To laugh at silly things and dance in the kitchen to too loud music. To go to bed and wake up in the morning in her arms.
To create a world full of love and innocence with kids of our own . To teach them that the world can actually be good .
And most of all, I wanted for her to be happy again.
To show her that she was the bright, burning star this world needed.
The noise of a baby crying broke me from my thoughts as our little King was born into this world.
Time seemed to still as the doctor placed the precious bundle up onto Rose's chest, and a tidal wave of joy and love rushed over everyone in the room. Rose embraced her new son, tears streaming down her face as she ran her fingers through its dark hair, her eyes filled with reverence and awe.
Bourbon stood beside her, overcome with emotion, love pouring from him like a symphony of music swelling up inside him. His eyes were glassy as he traced his finger softly across the newborn's cheek, a single tear tracking down his own. The baby made a soft sound, and Bourbon's face broke into a wide grin.
With Rose's encouragement, Bourbon tenderly lifted him, wiping at his tears while everyone else laughed at his expense.
And then the clock seemed to tick again, the room filling with noise as Aster ordered everyone to clean their hands. Coulter teased Bourbon about how he'd have to learn how to do things right, now that he was a dad.
Then the nurses clamped off the umbilical cord, showing Bourbon where to cut, while Coulter joked about not about messing up. Both Dante and Torian watched on with awe on their faces, while Rose basked in the moment, radiating with exhaustion and happiness.
As the world moved onward, I was lost to this perfect, perfect moment, just living and breathing in the happiness I felt inside. Nothing compared to the sheer bliss and joy as my own family, a family created through love and friendships, renewed life on this world.
"Knight?"
It took me a moment to realize that Rose was speaking to me. "Do you want to hold the baby?"
My hands trembled as I held them out, then felt the softest sweetest thing in the word as she passed the baby over to me.
I stared down at the precious bundle in my arms, feeling all warm and bubbly inside.
Goddamn, he was so beautiful. His eyes blinking sleepily, fingers folded over his cute nose.
"You must be so proud," I said, already loving the delicate creature in my arms.
This, right here. This was what I wanted, I thought as I passed the beautiful baby back over to Bourbon's outstretched arms. I wanted one of my own, with the love of my life.
Somehow, I knew in that moment that everything was going to be okay. I was going to do whatever it took to get Tatiana back. To prove to her that I was worthy of her love. To show her I would never abandon her again, like I had in Cuba.
We would work things out, like it had worked out for Rose and Bourbon, and Coulter and Aster.
Right here in this room proved that life would find its way, that the world had good in it, and, somehow, Tatiana and I would find it. Together.
"Knight." Through all of the excitement, Romeo's loud voice managed to get my attention.
Gina, the other nurse I dealt with on a regular basis, was hovering in the doorway. He had a firm hand on her shoulder, barring her from entering. She shot me a defiant look. "I need to speak to you."
My stomach sank, my happiness dying in an instant as reality slammed back into me with full force. Something was wrong.