Chapter 2
EvanAnn
I take Hawk’s hand and lead him into the shower, letting the water flow over me and wash away the night. It’s taken less than a week, but Damon has me trained to ignore nudity for the most part.
I almost wish I was more self-conscious. I’d rather think about anything except what happened tonight.
But I can’t stop it. The whole night was too much.
My mind is still spinning about Chase and Jackson. For a moment, Chase scared me the way Jackson did two years ago. Seeing Jackson at the game had my nerves already shredded. I never told Mom why I was eager to move from the apartment building, but she seemed just as determined to get away.
Being left out there in the woods should have been the worst part of the night, but nothing was like seeing Damon with Olivia.
My stomach churns and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop the image from returning.
Seeing him come out of that room with her begging him to come back in—it broke something in me.
Maybe it was this fragile thing that was quietly growing between me and Damon.
It hurt like a bruise to my pride when I found out about Chase. But Damon... It cuts so much deeper. I don’t know if I can handle it if he cheated on me.
I wrap my arms around myself and look up into Hawk’s green eyes. He studies me as he fills his hands with my shampoo and works it into my hair and scalp. I close my eyes at the sensation. It’s sensual, but caring. Tears press at the back of my eyes.
What do you need? Hawk’s words haunt me. When was the last time someone worried about what I needed?
That’s not enough.
When’s the next time you’re going to be able to eat, Evan?
I like you in my bed, little devil.
Shaking my head, I try to banish Damon’s voice from inside it. I thought I was strong enough to keep this relationship purely sexual. They’re just using me, so I should be able to use them. It makes sense. But the walls I built feel shaky. And tonight has been rough.
Damon might have slipped beneath my walls when I wasn’t looking. I glance up at Hawk. Maybe they all have.
“Are you sure he didn’t sleep with Olivia?
” I can’t help it. It’s like this sickness building inside me.
I know what Hawk said. But I saw Damon come out of a room with her.
My insides twist and die a little. If the guy who promised to be only mine was fucking around on me because I wasn’t putting out, how can I blame Damon for doing the same thing?
“He didn’t fuck Olivia.” Hawk guides me into the water and tips my head back to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. “If he did, he’ll tell you.”
“You’d tell me if he did?” I hate that my voice sounds so small and hurt, but I can’t let this go.
No one came forward to tell me about Chase until Damon.
I won’t have someone I trust cheat on me.
Swallowing, I know I’m technically cheating on Chase every minute I’m with these guys.
I don’t want the Devils to mess around with anyone else.
If that makes me a hypocrite, I don’t care.
“Of course, baby girl.” Hawk pulls me into his body and holds me, our bodies slick from the water.
It feels good to be held. His hard cock rests against my stomach, but I don’t feel any urgency from him.
He’s not pressing me down to my knees or asking me to suck him off.
My skin buzzes like it always does around them, but I don’t want release right now.
I need something far more important. Peace of mind.
I rest my ear over his beating heart as he strokes his hand down my wet back.
He rests his hand on the back of my head. “This arrangement and the deal we made means we’ll stand by our word. I don’t know what his intentions were when he went up to that room with Olivia, but I don’t think it was to have sex with her.”
I nod, wanting to believe him, but the rot inside me persists. Hawk is guessing about Damon. Will I believe Damon if he tells me nothing happened? How many times did Chase lie to my face? Saying I was the only one for him while he was off fucking someone else?
“It feels like I should be honest about something.” Hawk reaches for the conditioner.
“I don’t know if I can take much more honesty tonight,” I admit.
He smirks and combs the conditioner through my hair with his fingers. “I didn’t really have to practice for my audition. I played Romeo during my stint in Shakespeare in the Park.”
A huff of a laugh releases from me. He grins.
“I just wanted to put that out there.”
“You were amazing.” I shake my head.
“See? I was hoping for awe-inspiring.” He rinses his hands and grabs my soap, giving me some and filling his hands. “I almost came in and did the balcony scene, but everyone expects the balcony scene.”
I roll my eyes and let Hawk tell me about his experience. Theater is my first love after all, and it’s easy to let the rest slip to the back of my mind while his hands glide over my body and he talks Shakespeare with me.
Cam
Damon sits across the station from me at another desk. I am so fucked. There are a dozen other teens still here. Most of the parents have already come by to pick up their partiers, but my father and Damon’s haven’t made it in yet.
“Since this is your first offense, you’ll be charged a fine and possibly time.” Officer Taggert types into his computer. He seems bored of all this. “You’ll have a court date to appeal the decision, but the breathalyzer reading is on your record.”
I wish I was more sober because I’m sure this would drill in the fact I need to drink less. Instead, fuck, is this a trip.
Officer Taggert slides a pamphlet my way. I glance down at the Teen AA meeting drivel he’s trying to push on me.
“Sir, I only drink at parties.” I don’t mention that I party most nights, but I don’t always drink, so it’s a balance.
“Camden Lane Warwick.”
I flinch at my father’s voice. Officer Taggert stands and holds his hand out to my dad.
“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Warwick.” Officer Taggert gestures to the other seat. “We’re almost finished here.”
Dad lowers into the chair beside me, sitting up straight while I’m slouched.
I look almost exactly like him, Maybe that’s why he expects me to act like him too.
My hair is as long as my mom will let it get, which is definitely longer than Dad’s.
I run my hand through it and don’t need to look at him to feel the disapproval in his eyes.
Even when I tried to be his little clone, it was only disapproval and nitpicking. So I decided to go another way. Life has been easier.
“What can we do to make this go away, Officer Taggert?” My dad is ready to donate to the fucking police fund if I can keep a pristine record for his school of choice.
“The court hearing is in a week.” Taggert’s tone doesn’t change.
Dad’s smile tightens. “Perfect.”
I don’t laugh, but Dad will take care of this before the hearing. That’s his job as my father. To make shit like that go away so I can get into Yale. It takes another ten minutes before we’re out of the station. Damon’s dad arrives as we’re leaving. My dad stops to talk.
“This shit needs to end. Won’t be long before the boys will be off to college,” my dad says.
“One can only hope.” Adam sighs. “I can’t seem to get it through Damon’s head that hockey is a dream that could go away with one injury. He needs to focus on getting a degree while at college. Not go to a college for hockey.”
“College will straighten them out.” My dad’s hand tightens on my shoulder.
Fuck them both. It’s like they never had dreams beyond what they achieved. If I were as good at hockey as Damon, I wouldn’t let my dad stand in the way. I’d go after it just as hard as Damon does. And yeah, maybe my dream for college is smaller than my dad’s, but it’s what I want.
“We should have you and Lisa over for dinner some time.” Adam smiles. “Heather and I have been talking about having a small dinner party.”
Small, like fifty guests. I chuckle before I can stop myself.
My dad’s eyes narrow on me before he meets Adam’s gaze. “We’d love to. I can’t wait to meet your new girlfriend. I need to get Cam home and sober before his mother finds out.”
Adam runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, not looking forward to whatever excuse Damon has this time.”
Fuck our fathers. It’s like they forgot what it’s like to be a teenager. Grandma told me about the shit they used to get up to. So fuck them.
They say their goodbyes and we head out to the car. My phone is in my pocket, but I don’t dare take it out where Dad can decide to take it away from me. I’m sick of high school, of parties, of being on a leash.
College is just a longer leash. I’ll still be tied to my father for his money unless I want to find a way to work through college, which sounds like hell.
Once we’re in the car, he hands me a bottle of water.
He’s silent on the way home. He probably won’t lay into me until I’m hungover and trying not to puke my brains out.
This isn’t the first time he’s had to pick me up somewhere because I was too drunk.
Though, it’s the first time he’s picked me up from the police station.
I would have scrambled out the back of the party with the rest of my friends if I knew where the fuck Evan or Hawk or Damon were. I didn’t want to leave them behind. But Hawk and Evan weren’t at the station. Hopefully, they jumped the fence.
Chase was at the station, though, holding an ice pack against his cheek and glaring daggers at Damon.
His father arrived earlier and took him home. Asshole was probably sober. Maybe Evan got out with Mia, who I didn’t see.
When we get home, the kitchen light is on, but my mother stopped waiting up for me years ago. We walk in and I grab another bottle of water from the fridge.
“We’re talking in the morning, Cam.” Dad shakes his head as he passes me. “This shit has got to stop.”
I acknowledge his statement with a grunt and head up to my room. I’m still not sober enough to go anywhere and my motorcycle is still at Fletcher’s. When I get to my room, I lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling with the glow in the dark stars stuck to it.
I check my phone and there are no messages from Hawk, Damon, or Evan. I don’t even know where Evan is.
Me:
Where you at, goody two-shoes?
When I don’t get an immediate response, I glance at the time. It’s ten after three in the morning. I put my phone on the charger and wonder what fresh hell tomorrow morning will bring.