Chapter 18
EvanAnn
After another long lecture and note-taking, Mia and I walk to the cafeteria with Damon and Hawk following us. I’m still not sure how Mia actually feels about me living with Damon, but I’m not going to push it. I still have to face Chase about dinner last night.
When I glance at Hawk, he smirks like he knows I’m hoping he’ll bail me out again, but with a wink, he follows Damon across the cafeteria. I get my salad and head to the table where Mia meets me from the pizza bar.
“You aren’t upset I didn’t tell you, are you?” I ask as we sit down.
“Fuck, no. I get it. You moved in with Damon, and I told you I wanted to fuck the guy.” She laughs. “I would have been wary in your position too. I figure he’s pretty standoffish at the house, huh?”
“Yeah.” Not sure how to explain anything that I’ve done with Damon since I moved in. She’d probably be happy I sucked his cock. But I’m still worried she might be mad I have them and basically told them they could never have her.
“What does Chase think about you living with that deliciousness?” She winks as she tears into her pizza.
“He just found out last night. So I don’t really know how he feels yet,” I admit. I don’t know if he wants it widely known or if he’s going to keep it to himself. It’s one of the reasons I finally admitted it to Mia.
“Are you really going to get back together with him?” She looks at me warily.
“I know we’re new friends, but once a cheater, always a cheater.
I get it if you want to stay with him. He’s hot and seems sweet sometimes, but I’d also understand if you want to buy a bunch of feminine products and stick them all over his car in retribution. ”
I laugh, imagining his face if he came out and found his car plastered in pads and tampons. Mia smirks.
“I can help make that happen.” She nudges me with her elbow. “After all, I’m your best friend.”
“What are you making happen?” Chase stands behind us with his lunch.
“Nothing good.” She winks at him but turns to me. “We’ll talk later.”
I smile at her. It’s not a bad idea. Chase loves his fucking truck.
He takes a seat next to me and smiles. “How’s your day been, babe?”
“I really don’t like that pet name.”
His hand freezes halfway to his mouth, holding his pizza. He clears his throat and looks at me. “Noted. How’s your day been?”
I glance toward the courtyard and then look down at my meal. This is where I belong, but part of me wants to be where they are. Discussing Shakespeare with Hawk. Flirting with Cam. Damon, just being Damon.
“My day’s been okay.” I pick at my lunch.
“Did EvanAnn tell you about the party this weekend?” Chase asks Mia.
“No, what party?” She doesn’t ask him, but me.
I swallow and turn to her. “Chase’s parents are out of town and he’s having a small get-together at his house. Just some football players and their girls if they have them. You and me, if you want to go.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” She winks at me before glancing at Chase. “Why small?”
“My parents would go nuts if I had a party like Fletcher’s.” Chase glances toward the outside. “I had one a couple years ago that got out of hand. They haven’t forgotten. I’m surprised they decided to leave me for the weekend. But I couldn’t miss rehearsal, and they want to leave early.”
“Where’s the party on Friday then?” Mia looks at Chase.
I look at him warily. He hasn’t mentioned Damon at all. Maybe he would have been cool about it. But something tells me he wouldn’t have.
I definitely wouldn’t have told Chase about Jackson though. But Damon asked, and I don’t know why, but he feels like a safe space.
Which is stupid. So is the way he makes me feel when he holds me at night or texts me outrageous things during the day or makes sure I eat or leaves me notes in the car. My heart thumps hard in my chest.
I put my hand over it, ignoring the conversation about where the party has moved to since Fletcher’s is off-limits for a while. Yes, I’m having sex with Damon, Cam, and Hawk, but that doesn’t mean anything.
It’s just physical. They don’t want more from me, and I’m not expecting more from them. Except amazing orgasms.
It’s hard to separate my feelings entirely though. But it can’t be more than physical.
“Everything okay?” Chase asks me quietly.
When I glance over, Mia is gone.
“She went to the bathroom.” He leans his elbows on the table and studies me. “You checked out for a little there. Is everything good at home? I know your mom isn’t around much, and this must have been a huge shift for you.”
“Why are you being nice to me?” I whisper-shout and narrow my eyes at him. “You showed me who you were when you left me in those woods. I can’t decide if this is just an act, or that’s who you really are. Do you even know?”
He takes a breath and scrubs his hand over his face.
“I shouldn’t have even been driving that night.
I had a few too many to drink and was high on the win.
Everything was great between us. I know I’m the one who fucked up, but I didn’t think you knew about the other girls.
I fucked up and let the stress get to me and did things I wouldn’t normally have done. ”
“Everyone knew you were a fuckboy. Even me. And just because you thought I didn’t know doesn’t make it right. You could have talked to me. Or broken up with me if I wasn’t what you needed.” I don’t feel like I need to be considerate of his feelings. He showed me who he really was, drunk or not.
“Yeah, well, I tried to be better for you.” He flashes me a chagrined smile. “I do think we could have a good future. And I want to have sex with you. Those other girls didn’t mean anything.”
I want to laugh because is that how those girls felt? Is it possible to hold back part of yourself when you’re that vulnerable with another person? Yes, sex is fun, but there are moments that mess with my head. Desperate moments.
“I’m just glad you’re willing to give me a second chance to prove to you I can be the guy you need.” Chase reaches out and puts his hand next to mine. “You make me a better guy. I messed up, but I want to be better. I’ll talk more.”
I meet his blue eyes. I should put my hand on his to show I’m invested in this relationship, but I don’t want to touch him.
Not now and not in the future. I don’t want to be here with him. I want to be with them, and that spells trouble. Because what happens when they drag me into their world and abandon me there?
I can’t run with that crowd. They’d eat me alive.
“I need to go to the bathroom.” I push to stand and grab my tray.
Chase gives me a smile like he knows he’s lost me. “Okay. I’ll see you in class.”
I’m not paying attention as I walk toward the restroom. Too much in my head. I don’t even really need to go. I just didn’t want to be near Chase anymore. He has all these excuses, but he’s never been truly sorry. He just says the words to make things better.
Something drops on the tile floor and startles me out of my thoughts. I turn and don’t see anything. It was nothing. I’m just paranoid. Being unaware is how I got into that mess with Jackson. I didn’t sense the danger until it was too late.
The bathroom is empty. I figure I might as well use it quickly before heading to the theater. That’s where I always feel safe.
Before I flush the toilet, the door opens to the bathroom. When I flush and exit, Olivia is there, leaning against the sink with her arms crossed. She’s beautiful and rich and popular. Her eyes narrow at me.
“Hey, EvanAnn.”
“Hi.” I go to the far sink and wash my hands while trying to figure out why she’s here.
“You’re not dating Chase Chadwick anymore, right?” She glances at her fingernails like it doesn’t matter to her. But she’s not an actress. At least not a convincing one.
“We’re on a break.” I shrug. There’s no reason she’d need to know that. My life should be insignificant to her.
“He’s pretty hot.” Olivia’s smile is smug, like she’s got something she doesn’t want to tell me. “Your friend has been making waves too. Fucking the hockey team?”
I shrug. Again, this is none of her business and she shouldn’t even be talking to me.
“What I don’t understand is why Damon would be interested in you at all.” Olivia looks me up and down like she finds me so fucking lacking.
“What makes you think he is?” There’s no way she knows what happens in his bedroom at night. We’ve been extra careful at school. Just that one time for history class when I rode on his motorcycle. But normally, he ignores me.
Her smile is mean as she drops her arms and walks my way. “Something tells me you won’t be run off like the others. See, they didn’t want to see their social status drop, but you don’t have that. So maybe what you really need is a glow-up. How much?”
Olivia levels her blue eyes on me.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not following here.” I straighten. “You think Damon Storm is into me? Like, likes me?”
She rolls her eyes. “Maybe he just wants to fuck you, but it’s getting in my way.”
“How is it getting in your way?” I cock my head like I’m trying to figure her out. Because I am. I know she wants him, but he doesn’t want her.
“I have one more year to get him. I mean, if I thought you might give it up quickly and he’d be done with you, I’d let it go. But you seem like too much of a challenge, and maybe that’s what he wants.” She narrows her eyes at me thoughtfully.
“If he wants a challenge, why don’t you challenge him? Make him work for it.” I shrug.
She chuckles dryly. “You obviously don’t know Damon. He doesn’t want a girl who tries too hard, but if you don’t try at all, he’ll ignore you. He’s the most frustrating man.”
“So why bother?” I ask.
She scoffs. “He’s the best. And I get the best. If I can’t get it by being the most beautiful, then I’ll buy it. But I always get what I want. And I want Damon. So what’s your price?”
“My price?”