Chapter 50
Cam
Evan is quiet as we shower. Just her and me. The others took quick ones, so I guess this counts as my alone time with our girl. I trail my hand down her arm. Her skin is so soft. Every inch of her is soft and pretty. It’s easy to get addicted to her.
When she looks up at me, her blue eyes are wide and nervous. “Do you really think we can make this work?”
I pull her into me and rest my chin on her head. She wraps her arms around my waist. Even though we’re naked, I just want to hold her close for a second while I really think over her question. Because it’s not an easy one.
None of us has ever had a real relationship. Nothing we wanted to keep longer than a week or two, but Evan is different. Everything about how she makes me feel, makes us feel, is different. All I know is I’ll do anything to keep her.
“I think Damon would stop the world to make this work.” I breathe out and stare at the dark tile of Hawk’s shower. “He won’t give up on his dream, but that also means he won’t let you give up on yours.”
“What about your dreams or Hawk’s?” She pulls away to search my eyes. “Your dreams matter too.”
I chuckle and shake my head at her. “Dreams change, goody. This year Damon was supposed to be off living his dream. Hawk would have spent all his time working to prove to Columbia he’s worthy. I was going to be alone. Getting drunk at parties and trying to convince my dad Yale won’t have me.”
She drags in a breath. Probably ready to defend me to myself again. I love that about her.
“Instead, Damon was forced to stay and decided to make this year interesting. I’ve spent more time with my boys than in previous years because of you.
Yes, wrong reasons and all that, but fuck, you don’t understand how much we need you.
How much you make us whole. So, yeah, we could all go fuck off to whatever college and uncertain future that holds.
Or we could cling to the one thing that makes everything make sense. You, Evan.”
Her cheeks are flushed, and the corners of her lips turn down like she’s trying to come up with another reason it won’t work. I want to kiss her until she understands.
I cup her jaw and run my thumb over her cheekbone. “You’re the future I see now. You, Hawk, and Damon. Fuck everyone else.”
She rolls her eyes at that last bit. I chuckle but continue.
“When I’m with you or the guys, I feel like I belong.
Like I’m part of something special. I’m not about to give that up.
Whether we all go to Crowne Mawr, or Yale, or fuck, maybe you’ll get that internship and Damon will go for a year in the USHL to find his place.
If that happens, we’ll take a gap year and spend our time with you two so Damon doesn’t go fucking crazy with you gone. ”
Evan steps back. “It’s not the way things are supposed to work. High school romances rarely last. We—” She presses her hand against my chest. “We didn’t start out with the best intentions.”
“Who cares about our intentions?” I laugh and hold her hand against my heart.
“It doesn’t matter how we started, goody.
It matters what we do with what we found.
I’ve never seen Damon or Hawk as devoted to one person as they are to you.
And I get it, because I can’t stand the thought of having to leave you guys in a year.
Of going off by myself and trying to start over.
Not when I could choose you. Let me choose you, Evan. ”
She searches my eyes like she’ll find the lie, but this is my truth. Because if she lets me, I’ll give it all to her.
“I’m not a big dream guy.” I smirk. “I’m decent at school and good at hockey, but I’m not Damon or Hawk.
Maybe I’ll end up in politics because I know how to give a rousing speech.
” It’s not something I haven’t thought of, but it’s not my goal.
“What I do know is wherever we go will have what I need because all I need is you.”
She glances toward the closed bathroom door before moving closer to me. Her voice is quiet, like she’s telling me a secret. “What if we make all these plans and crash and burn? What if we don’t work out?”
I brush her hair behind her ear and smile. “What if we do?”
Damon
“You think it was best leaving him to talk her into it?” I ask Hawk as he lies on the bed staring up at the ceiling. I sit against the headboard in my boxers. My fingers roll the small box in my lap. Maybe I should be in there, talking her into it. Showing her exactly how much I need her.
Hawk chuckles. “Your tactic wasn’t going to work.” He turns his head toward me with an arched eyebrow. “I’ll stalk you is your best idea?”
I shrug. “She has to know I have those tendencies by now.”
Hawk rolls his head to return his stare to the ceiling. “My dream is flexible, but Columbia has always been the goal. Yale would be comparable. But if it’s me that has to travel to you guys…”
He makes a noncommittal noise. Like it doesn’t really matter to him. But I know the way he is with Evan. None of us would make it a week without her. Even during the week, I’ll wake up to one or the other in bed with Evan and me.
I stare at the door, wondering if Cam can convince her. He’s the one who makes the grand speeches about togetherness and the future. If anyone can convince her, it’s him.
I open the box in my hand. It’s not a promise ring or anything romantic. Not really, but if she needs it to be…
The door opens, and Evan steps out in a Devil’s t-shirt, her long legs bare and her blond hair damp around her shoulders. Her skin is flushed pink from the heat. My chest tightens. I can’t lose her.
Cam comes out behind her as she crawls onto the bed. She pauses next to Hawk and leans down to kiss him. He smiles up at her before she moves over to me and sits beside me. Her gaze rests on the box.
“I don’t need a proposal to follow you.” She arches an eyebrow and gives me a cocky smile, like she doesn’t honestly believe that’s what this is. “It’s a little early for that.”
I hold the box out to her. “Honestly, I wanted something a little more permanent, but I was vetoed.”
“You can’t just put a tracker in a girl like she’s your pet.” Cam rolls his eyes as he sits on the end of the bed. “Go on, goody, open it.”
Evan glances at each of us before opening the box. It’s a simple gold band with little flowers carved into the surface. She lifts it out of the box and slides it onto her ring finger on her right hand.
Something possessive in me rears its head.
“Wrong hand,” I say.
She shakes her head and laughs. “When we make vows to each other, I’ll put it on the left hand.”
She gives me the look like try me. Every inch of me wants to prove to her she’s mine all over again. I want to argue until she succumbs to me, all soft and willing, but I need her to wear the damned thing.
I hold out my phone and show her the dot in Hawk’s house. “If you’re ever in danger, I’ll be able to find you.”
She rests her head against my shoulder and releases her breath. She holds her hand out in front of her, studying the ring. “Do you think someone is really going to try to take me?”
“No need to risk it.” I slide my fingers against hers.
She sighs and tangles her fingers with mine and drops our joined hands onto her lap. “Is this really what you all want? To be together through college and beyond? What happens when our careers take off, and we have to make decisions about where we go? Who gets to win?”
“I imagine that will be decided on a case-by-case decision, Annie.” Hawk rolls his head to look at her.
“That’s not something we need to decide now though.
Right now, we just have to apply to similar schools and find out where we all get in and if we can make college work.
Decisions for college don’t have to be in until May.
Signing for D1 is in November. So we have time. ”
“Except for the applications. Those take time and money.” She nods and looks up at me. “Is Yale really a contender?”
I swallow. “I didn’t think it was, but the coach definitely seems interested. My coach has feelers out too. So I’ll talk to him at school Monday.”
“I don’t want to ruin anyone’s opportunity.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to regret choosing me.”
Cam shakes his head. “Not a chance of that happening.”
Hawk chuckles. “Regrets are for losers. That’s not who we are.”
I squeeze her hand, and she looks up at me. Her eyes are a stormy sky, gray and blue mixed perfectly.
“Why would I ever give you up, little devil?” I lift her hand and kiss her ring. “We can make this work. I’ll stand up to anyone who tries to get in our way.”
She swallows. “Even our parents?”
I smile. “Especially our parents.”
“My mom isn’t as bad as you think she is.” Evan shakes her head. “This is always how she is when she’s in a new relationship.”
“Negligent?” I arch an eyebrow.
“I spend most of my time at school or studying. There’s no reason for her to worry about me.
” She looks over at Hawk. “She’s there for the big moments.
My plays and performances, she’s always there.
We have dinners together when our schedules line up.
This has definitely been extraordinary circumstances.
My mom loves me and would do anything for me. ”
“Evan—”
“No, Damon. You’re basing this on the couple weeks you’ve been around us.
” Evan shifts onto her knees to glare at me.
“All you’ve seen is her in the first flush of love.
Not the years we’ve spent together. Yes, I took on a lot, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t supported me.
That she doesn’t come and cheer me on. That she wouldn’t step in if I’m in trouble. ”
My chest aches a little at that look in her eyes. Like I’m misunderstanding her on purpose. But I don’t say anything because I believe Evan deserves more than bits and pieces of love.
“Do I think she might react really poorly to me fucking my future stepbrother and his friends?” She blows out a breath.
“What mother wouldn’t? She hasn’t had to worry about me because I haven’t given her anything to worry about.
She knows I’ll roll with the punches life sends me.
But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. Just like your dad cares about you. ”
“I never said she didn’t care.”
“You implied it,” she says a little less snippy, but still belligerent. Her blue eyes hold mine. “I love my mom. We have a relationship, and it might not be the type of relationship you’re familiar with, but it’s not bad.”
“Then why haven’t you told her about Chase? Do you think I enjoyed watching that asshole touch you because you were pretending to be his girlfriend?”
Evan opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
“You didn’t do that for him. You did that for her.
” I narrow my eyes. The others remain quiet, but this affects them too.
“He used the fact you never told your mom about him ditching you out in the woods or him cheating on you. You need to come clean with her. I don’t care if you don’t want to tell her about us.
About any of us. But you need to make sure Chase can’t use it against you again. ”
She glances at the others and sits on the bed a little less proud. “I don’t want things to change.”
“They already have.”
She shakes her head and when she lifts her face, there are tears swimming in her eyes. “I’m scared she’ll take me away from you.”
“I’d never let that happen.” I brush my fingers over her jaw.
She scoffs and tips her head back to blink back the tears. “You can’t know that. My mom moved us around until that apartment complex. She found our house for rent, and it’s the first time I had a home since I was ten.”
I touch her arm, needing that connection, our connection.
She laughs bitterly. “She’s never settled for a guy longer than a few months.
And then she pays attention to me. We’d spend almost every minute together until I was feeling antsy from all of her attention.
Then she’d find a new boyfriend and things would go back to normal.
Maybe I liked not having her focus. I didn’t want to be her little project.
To have her fix my hair or offer me makeup. Buy me clothes. I like being me.”
I agree. I like Evan the way she is. Cam moves on the bed and sits behind her. She relaxes back against him as he wraps his arm around her center.
“It’s uncomfortable,” Hawk says.
We all turn to him. She reaches out toward him.
“When they finally focus on you, it’s like suddenly you have to be everything they want you to be.
” Hawk turns and he meets Evan’s eyes. Their fingers entwine.
“It’s not about us. We’re their little brags to their friends.
How much we do on our own. How we take care of ourselves.
But when they want to be involved, it feels like them trying to shove the wrong puzzle piece into place. ”
“It’s not that I don’t love her.” Evan’s gaze returns to me. “I still need her. But right now, she’s not trying to control my life and I’m okay with that.”
My jaw clenches. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over how I feel about Heather intruding on my life and not paying attention to Evan’s.
Evan sighs. “You have your reasons for not liking my mom, but don’t let it color your view of her as my mom. She’s always there when I need her.”
I keep my mouth shut, but when Evan needed her, her mother wasn’t there. When Jackson stole Evan’s first kiss. To pick Evan up when she was abandoned in the woods. She didn’t do enough to protect Evan from me. And now it’s too late.
I won’t let her take Evan away from me. She can try, but Evan is mine.
Evan frowns at whatever she sees on my face. She releases Hawk and moves away from Cam to come straddle my lap. She cups my jaw and searches my eyes intently.
“I’m yours and you’re mine.” She fits against me perfectly. “I don’t need to proclaim it from the rooftops. But I don’t like lying that it’s just me and Hawk in this relationship.”
“You’re already lying about being with Chase,” I offer. “And I wouldn’t hate it if you told everyone I’m yours.”
She breathes in and rests her forehead against mine. “I’ll tell Mom about Chase.”
“When?” Eventually, it will come out. It’s better if it comes from her.
“Can I just savor the fact I have the best boyfriends and a world-famous director wants me to apply to her intern program for a few days?” Evan looks so fucking hopeful.
“Soon, Evan.” I’m not letting her off that easy.
“Fine. Soon.”