19. Harper
Chapter 19
Harper
How did we end up here, with Cian back between my thighs?
His fingers comb through my wet hair, and I can’t keep my fingers out of his luscious curls either. My clit is throbbing . I think my body’s hotter than the shower water.
When Cian breaks our kiss long enough to speak, his voice is husky with desire. “You still want me to fuck you?”
I nod.
We’re both breathless, our foreheads snug together. His eyelashes brush my lids. Right now, I think I’d suck poison off his tongue if he wanted me to.
“I want you. So much .” I touch my lips to his before his hand tightens in my hair, tugging my head back.
“Turn around.” His hooded gaze and commanding tongue entrance me.
I obey, turning away from him, marveling at the sensation, the line of his body against my back.
Ugh , I love him.
Not like that! I just mean his body is like nature to me. The highest form of beauty. The kind of amazing anyone would want to get lost in, an engages-every-sense kind of awe-inspiring wonderful. The same way I want to make a snow angel or jump into a pile of autumn leaves or have the smell of blooming wildflowers in my nose in spring or splay out on the beach in summer.
That’s the way I want Cian. On a cellular level. I want him, and it is the most natural hunger I’ve ever experienced for anyone.
Oh, god, I’m in so much trouble.
For a few marvelous moments, Cian snacks on my neck, his perfect teeth scraping and grazing my sensitive skin.
“Yes…” I breathe hard while his upright cock slides between my ass cheeks, the crown nudging my back door just enough to pulse both fear and excitement through my veins.
Thankfully, Cian isn’t planning any backdoor action at the moment. Instead, he grabs both cheeks and guides his cock between the crease with greater intention. The sensation drives me wild. “ Yes .”
Cian rumbles at me in response, rough and guttural, like the noise originated in a bear’s chest.
Self-consciousness seeps into my mind.
It’s not that I’m a sexual novice. Not exactly. It’s just that Cian is so much more experienced. I want to be able to do everything to him he does to me, but I lack the knowledge.
Though, in this case, I think any dick-lacking human would be at a disadvantage.
Cian moves on to my breasts, palming them with his free hand. In the past, my boobs weren’t all that sensitive, but maybe that’s because Cian was never there to sensitize them.
The way he kneads and rubs them like they’re a playground for his fingers? I’m struggling not to combust.
He plucks my right nipple while he bites down on my neck. My clit may burst , so much blood rushes to it. I fold one of my arms backward so my fingertips can dig into his shoulder while my other hand balances against Cian’s monstrous right quad.
“I love these tits.” The heat of his breath sears my neck, sending a tremor down my spine.
These tits love you , I am incapable of saying in reply.
Cian fondles me, and when he’s done with my tits, they tingle, my nipples hard as fucking stone. My breasts feel used in the best way possible.
I already know I want them in his mouth before the night’s out.
Cian’s massive hand has migrated north from my chest to balance over my collarbones. Kissing up my neck all the way to my ear, Cian pulls my head aside. “Yes,” I gasp as his teeth sink into the lobe.
He growls at me again. “Hands on the wall.”
My body flexes with anticipation as I press my palms flat to the cerulean tiles. Cian’s hands find the bend in my waist. Despite our height difference, he somehow aligns our lower halves, nudging the head of his cock against my pulsing seam.
“Oh, fuck.” My whisper comes off as more of a prayer.
Liquid enthusiasm drips with the water down my thighs.
I can’t believe I’m literally holding my ass out to him, offering my body to Cian Mahoney like a sacrifice.
So much is happening inside my body at once, I think I might die.
And then Cian begins to breach me with his huge dick, and the world becomes new. My lungs seize as my body stretches to accommodate his size.
“Relax, honey.”
I think I might pass out when he reaches around to stroke my clit while wedging another few inches inside me. My muscles ease as pleasure builds.
“Yeah, just like that. Damn, you feel amazing.” A few more circles of his thumb, and he slams all the way home.
I gasp. Holy shit. I never even knew my vagina went that deep.
He retracts and then slides in again, groaning. “You’re so fucking tight.”
A second later, one of his palms slaps the wall beside my hand. Cian’s bracing himself for what comes next. Too bad there’s no way for me to do the same. There’s no way to prepare for the pleasure, the decibel of it, as Cian slowly drags his cock out, murmuring my name, and rams it back in.
My moans devolve into hot, feverish babbling.
“Please,” tumbles from my lips approximately a hundred times. “God, yes.”
“ Fuck , Harper.”
“T-there, right there ?—”
Hard and staccato, Cian pounds into my body with such strength and force that every thrust— any thrust—could take me out. Still, the orgasm catches me by surprise. I’ve never come this way before, with a man inside me, but hot damn, I’ve been missing out.
I feel myself milk Cian’s dick as his fingers dig into my hips. “Holy fuck,” he wheezes.
My legs are shaking so badly, I’d fall if it weren’t for the iron grip he’s got on my waist, locking me in place.
The steady rhythm of his deep, overpowering strokes echoes through the bathroom, as do our mutual cries of ecstasy. He changes angles, shoves one hand back between my legs, and suddenly, that tension starts to coil again. Less than two minutes later, I go off again.
No matter how I convulse or shake, Cian won’t stop fucking me.
This is the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced.
Sweaty and wet at the same time.
Dirty and clean at the same moment.
Cold, hot, sore, aching, burning, overflowing.
I don’t know how I’ll ever live without it now that I know what it’s like to be with him.
Before this, I thought sexual pleasure had a limit. And whatever limit I thought there was, this experience has blown so far past it…it’s like Cian’s broken the sound barrier of my body, shifted my tectonic plates.
“Can I?” Cian’s gruff voice rakes down my spine. “I’m clean.”
“Yes.” I gasp for breath, never before so thankful for my IUD. “Come inside me. Please.”
“Fuck.” At my plea, Cian plunges inside me so far, I see stars. Once, twice, and then I orgasm a third time, hard enough to leave my body for a few seconds. My mouth drops open, and I think my soul slips out.
This time, as my pussy spasms and bucks around his dick, Cian stops driving. With his final thrust, he swells inside me and grinds his pelvis into my ass. He shudders against me, both hands slapping the tiled wall. All twenty of our fingers splay out, side by side, as he fills me up.
Cian’s hunches over my back while we both pant.
Sensation has left my legs. I’m about to fall asleep in this position when Cian catches me around the waist and straightens us both. I’m not sure I can walk, but I am sure that Cian’s got me.
Everything morphs into a strange, pretty dream. Cian holds me like I’m a precious gem. He washes my limbs with soap and water, cleaning me one caress at a time. I’m so close to collapse from pleasure-fueled exhaustion, I don’t even have the energy to question why he’s treating me like some kind of queen.
When Cian’s washed us both, he lifts me out of the shower and gently towels me dry. He dries my hair with the motel’s blow dryer, gently combing his fingers through the tresses.
Am I dreaming? Is this strange, tender man real?
Cian carries me to the bed and lays me down like a princess. He’s so gentle that if we were wearing clothes, I’d guess we were about to sleep. But despite my exhaustion, there’s no way I can fall asleep when Cian nuzzles my breast and then sucks a nipple into his mouth.
A second wind breaks over me. A fresh heat.
This man, I swear.
He grazes me with his teeth, and my clit’s already begging for another round. Lust suffuses me so suddenly, I think I might swoon.
Cian just dried me off from the shower, but here I am, already sopping wet again.
He discovers that for himself when his fingers head south to explore between my legs and announces his satisfaction with a pleased groan.
“Cian…oh my god.” I whine, whimpering like a wounded animal.
“You’re so wet for me.” He growls near my ear, crushing my breasts against his muscular chest.
I never really understood how big Cian is until now. The man could suffocate me to death if he laid on top of me for too long, and I’d die a happy woman because I love the way he covers every part of me with his heat.
God, he’s beautiful. His body, with all that golden skin and those muscle striations and that eight-pack of abs, is a work of art.
Don’t even get me started on his gorgeous face.
“ Please . Ple?—”
He devours my mouth mid-plea and buries his cock inside me.
Except this time, it’s completely different.
This time, Cian slows down the pace, gliding in and out while gazing into my eyes. Almost as if he’s searching for my soul.
Despite the intense emotions bubbling up inside me, I can’t look away.
“I used to watch you, you know,” he whispers.
“You did?” I whisper back.
“Yeah. After that night at the club. Before then too, if I’m being honest.”
I lick my lips, moaning when he nibbles on my neck. “Wh-why?”
“Why do you think?”
I steal his focus momentarily by scraping my nails against his scalp as I hazard a guess. “Because you think I’m pretty?”
Raspy laughter spills over my skin. “Pretty? Fuck no. I think you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. But that’s not it.”
The compliment burrows into my heart. “Why, then? Were you worried about me?”
His tongue traces the divot behind my collarbone. “Yes, but that’s not it either. That night you were attacked, you were so shaken up, you were trembling. But instead of focusing on yourself, you caught a glimpse of my fist, pushed me into a chair, and told me to sit still while you grabbed a bag of ice for the swelling.”
He lifts his head, and the intensity in his eyes freezes me like a deer in the headlights. I feel as if I’m on display. “It wasn’t a big deal. You hurt yourself protecting me, so looking after your injury was the right thing to do. Anyone in my position would have done the same.”
“Honey, I can’t think of another woman who would have spared even a second worrying about a guy like me under those circumstances.” He ghosts his knuckles down my cheek. “So to me, it was a big deal.”
“Oh.” I swear, his admiration seems genuine, but surely that’s impossible. No one from my old life admires me. How could anyone respect the tease who basically served as a decoy, distracting men so my father could punish—or kill—their buddies? “I see.”
“I’m not sure you do,” he murmurs.
When that soft glow in his eyes doesn’t fade, an odd, squishy sensation expands in my chest. “I’m glad you were there that day. And I like knowing you were watching me. You should probably know that I watched you too.”
“I’m glad.” He hesitates, as if debating with himself. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me after that night? Every time I saw you over the next few weeks, you ran in the opposite direction.”
I cringe and avert my gaze. “I’m sorry. Once the initial shock passed, I was too humiliated, knowing you saw what happened.”
His expression softens even more. “You had no reason to be humiliated.”
He kisses me gently then. Deeply. He makes love to me with such passion and tenderness that I can’t speak, not even a whisper. Neither of us do. It’s almost as if we’re hoarding every last ounce of pleasure, refusing to release even a single wisp to the outside world.
No one would hear a thing if not for this motel bed creaking beneath the heft of our combined weight.
It’s so intimate, so vulnerable.
Even, dare I say, romantic.
I hate how much I love it.
I can’t believe how much time I wasted with idiots and assholes and shallow people. Time that would have been much better spent in Cian’s bed.
When I wake up the next morning, half submerged under his magical body, and remember the hell I’m in, every ounce of ecstasy from the previous night gives way to panic and urgency. I need to call my sister before I fall any deeper down the rabbit hole.
Because if there’s a single truth everyone knows about Cian, it’s that he never sticks to the same girl for long.
And if I lose myself in him, I may never be found again.