Chapter 9 Elena
Elena
Iwake from my recurring nightmare with a start. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle as my eyes adjust to the dim light. I sense a presence in my room, like I’m not alone. Someone’s in here. Which should be impossible because I locked the door before I went to bed. I’m sure of it.
As the room comes into focus, my gaze collides with Maximo’s.
He’s standing right beside my bed, staring down at me with a terrifying intensity.
He’s still wearing his evening clothes, but without his suit jacket.
He’s tense, his muscles coiled like a predator ready to pounce.
How did he get in here? He shouldn’t be here.
Panicked, I scream.
I try to sit up, reach for the bedside lamp, and scurry away from Maximo all at the same time. Instead, I end up flailing, my limbs tangled in the sheets. I’m trapped. Stuck. My chest seizes with fear.
Suddenly Maximo’s on me. He grabs my wrists. He’s speaking, but I can’t make sense of his words through the rush of blood in my ears. I thrash, trying to fight him off, to free myself from his ironclad hold.
“Let me go! Let me go!” Panic pulses through my veins, it clouds my mind. A cold sweat coats my skin.
I collapse as he pins me to the bed with his heavy body. He stretches my arms above my head, holding my wrists in one of his massive hands. His fingers grip my chin. I still, frozen with terror.
“Open your eyes. Look at me,” he orders.
I’m trapped. Suffocating. My chest rises and falls with each rapid breath that fills my lungs, even though I feel like I can’t breathe. His weight on me keeps the rest of my body captured. I couldn’t move a muscle if I tried.
“Open your eyes, bella.”
My eyelids snap open at his rough command. He’s so close that his breath warms my face. His intense gaze holds me captive as much as his body does.
“Shh, cara mia. I won’t hurt you. You were having a nightmare. Then a panic attack, I think.” His deep voice oozes over me like honey, filling in all the jagged cracks. “You were going to hurt yourself. I need you to calm down, okay?”
I stare up at him as his thumb brushes softly across my lips. He studies my face, probably trying to decipher my emotional state. His caress moves to my cheek. It’s so soft, so soothing, that my pulse gradually slows down. A little, as much as it can with him so near.
Closing my eyes, I drink in his familiar scent.
Part of my brain flashes warning lights at me, telling me this isn’t safe.
I should fight, run. But another, greater part, whispers: What if I gave in?
What if I let myself sink into his warmth, his strength, and his protection? What if I just let go..?
Gradually, my breathing evens out. With it comes a bone-deep exhaustion.
I feel like I’ve been on constant high alert for the past four years.
My adrenaline is worn out—overtaxed, spent.
Now that the real-world monsters who took me are gone, I fight them every night in my dreams. I’m so tired of it all.
I want it to be over. Can I just stop having to fight for my life? Or will it always be this way?
Maximo’s earlier proposal has me questioning my expectations. Is it even realistic to think I could escape this life and the underworld? I could stop running right now, accept his marriage proposal, and step into the role I was born to lead. Would that be such a bad thing?
Yes, it would. Wouldn’t it? I’d have to give up everything that I desire. All of my hopes and dreams would go to waste. I’d be constantly surrounded by the horrors, the blood, and the violence of this lifestyle.
It’s too much. I just can’t do it.
“That’s better,” Maximo whispers in my ear. “Shh. I’ll never hurt you, Elena. I need you to know that. I…” He gazes down at me, so intense yet vulnerable and my heart skips a beat. “Never mind. You should go back to sleep.”
I finally find my own voice. “What were you going to say?”
His gaze bores into mine, but gives nothing away. “Something… inappropriate. At least you’d find it inappropriate. Probably even disgusting.”
With a sigh, he carefully shifts off of me, and I sit up. Guilt, about my harsh words from earlier, eats me up. I’ve never found anything about Maximo disgusting, quite the opposite. So why am I trying so hard to resist him?
Self preservation. He’s dangerous. I need to remember that.
“How did you get into my room?” The realization that my locked door can be so easily bypassed has a chill running through me.
Maximo sits on the edge of the bed, muscles tense, jaw tight.
“I have a key to every room in this apartment. You sounded pained—in crisis—so I let myself in. I did knock. Then you started screaming and failing and I thought you might hurt yourself.” His gaze lands on mine again.
“I know you hate me, but I meant what I said. I’ll never harm you in any way, cara mia. ”
Unease claws at my chest. I told him what I had to, in order to set a firm boundary between us. It was necessary, even if it’s not the full truth. The thing that scares me most about Maximo is how much I don’t hate him. Not really.
I hate the mafia world. I hate his role as don. I hate the life he has to lead and the rules he has to follow, but I don’t hate him. In another reality, different from this one, I could see myself falling for Maximo the man—just not Maximo the mafia don.
“Did you hear me?” he asks, drawing my full attention to him.
I nod. “I know you think marrying me is the solution to solidifying your position, but it’s not. I’m not mafia wife material. Not any more.”
“I disagree.” He angles toward me. “I’ve seen your spark, your fire. That’s exactly what I want in a wife—in my queen. You’re also polite and seem to know the perfect thing to say in every situation.” His lips twitch with a wry grin. “Unless I’m on my knee proposing marriage.”
“I’m—”
“It’s not just about your last name and lineage, Elena. It’s about… you.” He glances away. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
My stomach flutters. Me? “But, you made it sound like a business arrangement. Like a marriage of convenience—something logical and mutually beneficial.”
“I know I did.” He rakes his fingers through his short dark waves. “I thought appealing to your rational side wouldn’t be nearly as off putting as telling you how I really feel. As getting emotions involved.”
I swallow thickly. My hands shake as I pull the blanket to my chest. “How do you really feel?” I prompt, unsure if I want to learn the answer. Would it change anything if he has real, genuine feelings for me?
“I care…” He grunts and shakes his head. “Go back to sleep. I need an answer from you tomorrow.”
“An answer?” That’s too soon. He’s giving me no time to think.
He stands up, but won’t look at me as he strides to the door. “Marry me, Elena. Say yes tomorrow. I promise I won’t let you down if you’ll be mine.”
After tossing and turning all night, I wake up groggy but determined to do what needs to be done. Maximo will never take no as my final answer. He won’t let me go. I can either give into him willingly, or I have to run. Now. And never look back.
In moments of weakness, like last night, I consider giving in and falling into line with the world I was brought up in—instead of resisting it with all I’ve got.
But then I remember that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, that I deserve better. I won’t allow myself to be trapped by a handsome devil of a man. Or any man for that matter. I’m safer on my own, far away from here.
This morning, I tiptoe through the penthouse. The space is quiet. Not a sign of Maximo anywhere, which leads me to believe that he stepped out. I’m not sure how long I have before he returns.
Rushing back to my bedroom, I grab a small suitcase. This is my opportunity. My one chance. I can’t let it pass by because I might not get another one. Especially since he’s going to demand that I give him the answer he wants today.
Most of my sleepless hours last night, I spent formulating this plan. I just didn’t know my chance to act would be so soon.
I simply can’t marry him. I refuse to give in. Admitting defeat means death—death of my dreams and the life I want to live. If I marry Maximo, it means giving up on myself. I won’t do that.
Quickly, I pack the necessities list I came up with while lying in bed.
I’m taking the bare minimum I need to start a new life.
Unfortunately, all of my books can’t come with me, so I have to leave them behind.
Clothes and toiletries go into the suitcase.
I also make sure I have my ID and passport in my favorite new Fendi purse.
In under ten minutes, I’m heading for the door.
My pulse gallops as I make my way out the front door and down the short hallway to the elevator.
His apartment has two elevators, which is strange.
One for guests that goes to the lobby. The other one in the foyer bypasses all the other levels, going straight down to his private garage.
I don’t know which one he uses more regularly.
What if Maximo’s coming up and catches me? Are there guards posted in the lobby with orders to keep me here?
I glance around the space. Surely he has security cameras in here. He’s that type of man. For all I know, he could be watching me right now. He could be putting this place on lockdown, or rushing back here to stop me from leaving.
I push the elevator call button and tap my toe as it seems to take forever to arrive. When the doors slide open, and it’s empty, I breathe out a sigh of relief. So far, so good.
Anxiety grips me again as I step into the carriage and take it down to the street level.
Opening the rides app on my phone, I order the quickest one available, paying extra for the rush.
I could catch a cab, but I don’t want to have to wait a second longer than necessary.
I also hate being exposed, standing on the sidewalk where anyone can get to me.
Daylight doesn’t prevent kidnapping. The men who took me before snatched me as I was running an errand.
I never made it back to the waiting car.
The elevator announces the ground level. The doors glide open.
I peek into the lobby. Empty.
But there’s definitely security cameras. If Maximo didn’t see me leave the penthouse, he’s going to see me leaving the building.
Head down, I quickly cross the reflective marble floor. The attendant opens the door with a polite nod, and a hysterical laugh threatens to bubble up my throat. I’m walking out of here in broad daylight with not a single soul to stop me. If I knew it would be this easy, I’d have left on day one.
My phone pings, notifying me that my ride’s here. I scan the street, find the license plate, and practically dive into the back seat.
“I’ll leave a hundred dollar tip if you get me to the airport as fast as possible.”
The driver eyes me, then nods. “Sure. Traffic’s a pain, as always, but I know a quick route.”
Merging with the other vehicles, we’re moving further and further away from Maximo’s place.
While the driver focuses on getting me to my destination in record time to earn that tip, I open an airlines app and search for the next flight out of LaGuardia Airport.
At this point, I don’t care where I’m going. I just need to get out of this city.
Once I’m in the air, I’ll figure out a plan to get the rest of the way to California. This is it, I’m disappearing. Finally, I’m seeing my plan through to the end. If only my heart didn’t ache so much at leaving my family behind.
They’re going to be devastated. And it’s all my fault.