Chapter 12
They made it downstairs.
With the rain still unleashing its fury and pounding on the building, they used the flashlight and candles to light the way and went to get the food.
“There’s no electricity to heat up the roast beef.”
She announced as she took it out of the warmer.
“How about a sandwich?”
“Sounds good.”
Settling on the stool, he watched as she economically placed the candle on the counter and took out the ingredients.
He loved looking at her.
She had donned only the sweater and nothing else.
The coils of her hair tumbled down her back and she looked comfortable and capable as she sliced and diced.
“You used to hate to cook.”
She looked up from the tomato she was slicing at his comment.
“I had a change of mind and heart.”
Popping out slices of bread, she put them on the plates and started heaping the sandwich.
“I lived by myself when I left college, and it was either take out or learn to cook.” Picking up a slice of tomato, she absently popped it into his mouth.
“I was on a stringent budget and had to get creative.”
He chewed and swallowed. “Why?”
“Why what?”
The slices of beef were so thin, they were practically nonexistent.
“Why were you on a stringent budget? I thought your parents had money.”
She cast a wry look at him before adding olive oil and mayo.
“What gave you that impression?”
“Zahra…?”
“It was an illusion.
The fancy house was mortgaged to the hilt.
Dad drank and gambled away everything.
Mom- well she was a mediocre actress at best and was barely getting
work.
But they refused to accept what was happening.
The bank took the house while I was away in college, and she had to go and live with an aunt for a while.
I decided that it was for the best, because I did not want to go back there.”
The sandwich finished; she passed the plate to him. “OJ?”
He would have preferred something stronger but figured he had had enough alcohol to sink a ship.
“Yes, thanks.”
“Anyway.”
She poured the juice into two glasses and passed one to him.
“I got myself a tiny apartment in Brooklyn and made do.
It was near to where I was working, so I only had to take one train.” She bit into her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully.
“It was liberating.
The apartment was awful.
There was no central air and during the winter it was too cold and the summer too hot.
But it was mine and I did not have anyone constantly nagging and telling me what to do with my life.
I was free for the first time, and I relished it.”
It disturbed him to hear that she had a hard time of it.
“You worked in an office?”
She nodded and took a sip of the juice.
“As an administrative assistant for a tyrannical boss whose demands were sometimes impossible.
But it kept me on my toes.
My aunt called me one day out of the blue and said she was ill and was going to leave her inn to me.
She told me it was not much, but it was a legacy.”
She shook her head.
“I did not pay that any mind at all, until months later, her lawyer called and asked to meet with me.
When the meeting ended and I found myself the owner of a property and some insurance money, I was dazed.
I had always been a big city girl and when I heard where the place was, I balked.”
She laughed.
“I told myself that there was no way I was going to leave New York for some nowhere town that was barely on the map.
I was going to sell but decided to come and take a look at the place.”
She toyed with the olive, before popping one in her mouth.
“I came and took a look around and was convinced that there was no way I could ever take ownership of it.
It was in ruins; the roof was leaking like a damn sieve, and the yard was overgrown with weeds choking it.
The fa?ade was crumbling.
The only thing I could see that was redeemable was the gazebo and the little bridge over the lake.
And of course, the ideal spot on top of the hill.”
“You fell in love with the place.”
She nodded.
“Until I went inside and saw the amount of work it would take for me to even get it to where I wanted it to be.
I had made up my mind then and there to put it on the market when I stepped outside and saw Jessica.
She spoke about how much they were hoping I would get the inn up and running again, because the possibilities were endless.
Somehow, she convinced me.
And to top it all off, when I went back to work the following Monday, my boss told me he wanted me to start working weekends.
That did it for me.
I resigned and packed my things.
I was shaking inside and with my mother’s voice ringing inside my head, I set off for future unknown.”
“But you did it.”
She gave him a soft smile.
“Yes, I did.
It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
The inn became my sanctuary, a place where I could escape the chaos of my past and build something meaningful.”
He nodded; admiration evident in his eyes.
“You’re incredible, you know that?”
She shrugged, looking down at her hands.
“I just did what I had to do.”
He reached across the counter and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently.
“Well, I’m proud of you.
You turned your life around and made something beautiful out of it.”
She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes.
“Thank you.”
He leaned in and kissed her softly, his lips lingering on hers.
When he pulled back, he smiled.
“Now, let’s eat before the sandwiches get dried out.
They sat there eating in companionable silence while the rain lashed at the building.
“Full?”
She gestured to his empty plate.
“Yes.”
Pushing the plate aside, he rose and came around to her.
“Finished?”
He noticed that she had been toying with her sandwich for the past few minutes.
“Yes.”
Pushing away the plate, she tensed when he put his hands on her shoulders.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Zahra.”
He turned her to face him.
“Please talk to me.”
Her head drifted back to stare at him, and she felt the familiar sexual pull.
His hair was disheveled, and his eyes had a sleepy look to them that spoke of leashed passion.
He had made love to her, and she would never regret it.
“Make love to me again.”
His eyes searched her face, and she knew he realized that something was bothering her.
Running his hands up and down her arms, he held her gaze, as if giving her a chance to come clean.
“Please.”
She whispered.
“I want to feel you inside me again.”
Her words had the desired result.
With a nod, he took her hand and led her from the kitchen.
As they entered the bedroom, the soft glow of the bedside lamp created a warm, inviting atmosphere.
Zahra felt a mix of anticipation and vulnerability, knowing that in his arms, she was safe and cherished.
He pulled her close, their bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.
His touch was gentle yet firm, grounding her in the moment.
Afterwards, he just held her close.
The rain had not ceased entirely, but the fierceness had slowed down to a gentle lashing against the windows.
The fire inside the hearth had burned down to a simmering ember that shrouded the room.
It was perfect.
Being here like this with him was as close to perfection as anything she had ever felt.
She had felt the urge to ask things, to have him make promises, but had decided against it.
She could not deny what she was feeling.
That was certainly not who she was.
And she had to be true to herself.
She knew that at the end of it, he was going to leave.
She belonged to this town and no matter the emotions churning through her body, she was realistic.
They did not belong together.
He was from a far different world.
On top of that, she would not fool herself that a gorgeous man like Bryce Whitlock could ever feel anything for her other than good old-fashioned lust.
The attraction was fierce, and she relished it.
But he would leave, and she was trying to convince herself that when it comes time for him to leave, she would be sophisticated about it.
“You’re thinking too loudly.”
His deep voice resonating against her cheek gave her a start.
“That’s not a thing.”
“Isn’t it?”
Shifting slightly, he tucked his fingers beneath her chin and brought her head up to meet his curious gaze.
“Tell me.”
“Nothing.
Just enjoying the moment.
It’s raining and we are in bed.
It feels sybaritic.”
His thick brows lifted, and a smile tugged at his lips.
“I had forgotten your penchant for unusual words.”
Flicking a finger at the tip of her nose, he continued to stare at her.
“What?”
“You’re beautiful.
I love seeing the afterglow of lovemaking on your face.
Did you know that your eyes goes shades darker when you’re in the mood?”
Her tapered brows lifted at that.
“For what?”
“You know what.”
He chuckled.
“You have this sultry look on your face like the cat who licked up the last of the cream.”
“Is that so?”
She cast her eyes down to his very impressive chest and used a finger to trail through the dense dark hairs.
“Zahra?”
The speculation in his deep voice had her lifting her gaze up to his.
“I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
Taking a deep breath, she eased back a little and he allowed her.
Tugging at the sheets, she covered herself and sat up against the pillows.
“This is amazing.
Being here with you is very nice and almost makes me think that it’s normal.
That it’s normal for you to be here with you like this.
That it is commonplace for us to be together.”
Turning her head, she stared out the window and saw that the rain had almost ceased.
The day would remain cloudy, but by tomorrow, things would be back to normal.
She was going to have to check for leakages and floodings and set about seeing to the repairs, if there were any.
The inn would be closed for a few more days, but that was not going to affect her finances much.
His hand reached out to gently touch her arm, grounding her once more.
"Zahra," he began softly, "you don't have to pretend with me.
Whatever it is that's weighing on your mind, we can face it together."
She turned back to him, the vulnerability in her eyes now unmistakable.
"Bryce, I...
I just don't want to get too attached," she confessed.
"I know you're going to leave, and I can't help but feel like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak."
His expression softened, and he pulled her into a tender embrace.
"I understand," he whispered, his breath warm against her ear.
"But let's not borrow trouble from tomorrow.
Tonight, let's just be here, together, and cherish this moment."
“And forget everything else.
Is that what you’re saying?”
He easily resisted her attempt to pull free, hands firm on her shoulders.
“I want us to have a relationship.”
Her eyes flared.
“For how long?”
Biting off a sigh of impatience, he kept his hands on her.
“Something that will eventually lead to permanency.”
She shook her head even while her heart was singing in hope.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
His eyes darkened, warning her that he was getting angry.
“I think I am old enough to know what the bloody hell I want.
And I want you.”
“For now.”
Holding up a hand, she stopped the flow of words she knew was coming.
“You’re here now and yes, we have a connection, one that goes back several years.
We were there for each other when things got tough.
And you’re here now for some reason.
But I don’t want to get it twisted.
You belong to a world that I would never be a part of.
I cannot be seen with you because the publicity would drive me nuts.
I am not made for the red carpet or the lifestyle of the rich and famous.
I value my privacy. And I would not want to compete with …, the others. I would lose.”
His brows descended in a frown.
“You’re referring to other women.”
“I guess I am.”
Bryce's frown deepened as he shook his head.
"Is that really what you think? That I would choose someone else over you because of fame or glamour? Zahra, I’m not that shallow.
What we have - it’s real, and it’s something I’ve never found anywhere else."
She shook her head, her voice thick with emotion.
"But you will.
You'll find someone who fits into your world perfectly, and where will that leave me?"
"Right here," he said firmly, taking her hands in his.
"I don't want anyone else.
I want you.
I want us.
And I am willing to fight for it. But you have to meet me halfway. You have to believe in us."
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she let out a shaky breath.
"I'm scared, Bryce.
Scared of getting hurt.
I will never belong to your world, and you cannot tell me that this is where you want to end up.”
“What if it is?”
He asked challengingly.
“What?”
She blinked away the tears and stared at him.
Lifting a hand, he cupped her cheek.
“I can be anywhere.
I am at a stage in my life where I can pick and choose the parts I want to play.”
His thumb wiped the single tear away.
“We can travel.
I am not going to take you away from the inn.
I understand the need to be here.
I get that it means a lot to you.
But I want us to be together Zahra. I cannot endure the thought of losing you again.”
“No!”
She shook her head furiously.
“I cannot take the chance that you will become bored and want to go back to your lifestyle.”
“What lifestyle?”
He asked grimly.
“The one where I am obligated to attend gatherings, smile and mingle with people I don’t even like? One where I slept around with women I don’t even know? That lifestyle? I am in love with you.”
He smiled when she jolted.
“I think I have been in love with you since we were seventeen and I never stopped.
I left yes, because I was immature and frankly could not deal with it.
I was not equipped then to deal with what we were going through and I wanted to get a fresh start.
But I am in love with you Zahra and I will give you time to get adjusted to what you’re feeling.
I want to be here with you.
I can afford to hang around for a bit.
I have brought some scripts with me to look over and decide what I want to do.
No hurry. I am just asking you to give me a chance.”
Oh, how she wanted to believe him! If things were different, if he was an ordinary guy, she would be all over it and him.
But he was Bryce Whitlock, Hollywood darling and she would be a fool to believe that he would be able to stay with someone like her.
“You will change your mind.”
She whispered, already feeling the ache settling inside her chest.
“Zahra…!”
“No.”
She shook her head, the smile trembling on her lips.
“Just let me finish.” Taking a deep breath, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist.
“I love you.
I have always loved you, but this, us, it all feels like a fairy tale that’s too good to be true.
And we both know how fairy tales usually end.”
Bryce’s grip on her wrist tightened, his eyes imploring.
“Not this one.
We get to write our own story, Zahra.
One where the ending is what we want it to be.”
She sighed, her resolve weakening.
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Then let’s figure it out together,”
he murmured, drawing her into his embrace.
“Step by step, day by day.
Just don’t shut me out.”
“Just do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
She smiled at the passion in the single word.
“If you start feeling fenced in and decide that you want to leave…”
“Zahra…”
“Please let me finish.”
Taking a deep breath, she plunged on.
“I know what I look like, and I certainly know what you look like.
If you decide this is too much for you and you want to leave, just please tell me before you leave.”
“Is that how little you think of me?”
The anger surfaced even though he tried to tamp it down and he realized that he could not blame her.
He had left before, hadn’t he? Had left her without a single word.
How can he condemn her for being cautious? “I was a child – confused and out of my depth.
I am an adult, and now I know what I want.”
His expression softened.
“I know what I want and it’s right here.”
“You say that now…”
“Dammit Zahra.”
His quiet tone belied the frustration on his handsome face.
“I am sorry.”
She took in a deep breath.
“Self-preservation.”
“And that’s all well and good.
Look, I know it’s going to take some getting used to.
But I am here, and I am not going anywhere.”
“Okay.”
Secretly she found herself wondering for how long but was not going to spend the rest of the evening going back and forth.
“Okay.”
Shaking off the doubts, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I think we have done enough talking.”
His expression lightened.
“What do you have in mind?”
She whispered in his ear and had his blood boiling.
*****
He watched her sleep.
With the rain slowing down to a patter against the windows, with the sliver of moon streaming through the drapes, he sat up with the pillows at his back and watched her sleep.
She had made supper with him helping with the shredding of lettuce for the garden salad.
She laughed freely now, dimples glowing, eyes sparkling and he found himself falling deeper in love with her.
He knew she had doubts.
That being with him was taking to take a huge amount of adjustment.
But he was willing to do anything to reassure her that he was here to stay.
A frown touched his brow as he realized that his parents would never accept her.
They were snobs.
There are no two ways about it.
But to hell with them.
If they cut him off then so be it.
Lifting a hand, he brushed back the coil of hair from her cheek and let his touch linger.
Her complexion was so smooth, so flawless that he wanted to continue touching her.
For the first time in his life, he felt settled and contented.
She steadied him.
His life had always been chaotic, and he had told her the truth when he said he was looking for more.
He had grown up in luxury, never lacking anything, except what matters most.
The love from the people who made him.
And because of it, he had been afraid to open himself up.
Until he met Zahra.
A tender smile touched his lips. She had brought out so many emotions inside him.
Sliding down, he turned towards her, bringing her against him, smiling when she murmured and buried her face against his chest.
“Bryce?”
Her sleepy voice was sexy and did so many things to his already fragile state.
“Hmm?”
“You’re not sleeping.”
“Hmm.”
He was busy nuzzling her lob.
“Neither are you.
Did I wake you?”
“You did.
That feels so good.”
She moved in, one arm going around his back.
“Want me to continue?”
“Please.”
He chuckled and nipped at the lobe, making her jump.
“I thought you were tired.”
“Not anymore.”
She was blowing on his chest and sending heat straight to the core of him.
“You’re starting something I am going to have to finish.”
“Is that so.”
She moved to his nipple and used her tongue.
“Oh sweetheart.”
His breath whooshed out as he shoved her back on the pillows.
“I warned you.”
“You did.”
A moan escaped her as he slid into her, eyes darkened.
“I chose not to listen.”