Chapter 27
Samantha nibbled on the fruit Bryce had cut up before she got home. An hour had passed since she broke down in Bryce’s arms. She wasn’t hungry, but he didn’t want to hear it. He demanded she eat because it wasn’t good for her or the baby to skip meals. She was still trying to figure out why he cared either way.
Other than the brief flicker of surprise that flashed in his eyes, he hadn’t shown much of a reaction to what she told him. Even after she explained how the paternity test could be wrong, he didn’t say much, and he didn’t move. If he hadn’t been looking right at her as she spoke, she would have questioned if he’d even heard her.
“Are you going to say something?” she finally asked.
“I already said everything there is to say. I said it all before we got the test results. And now we’re back in the same boat. We’ll figure it out.”
It was hard not to get frustrated at his response. Everything was simple and they could just go with the flow. Well, everything was not that simple. Carrying Brandon’s child would change everything.
“Samantha? I can see your mind working. What is it?” he asked gently.
“You pretend like things will just magically work out. Well, that’s not how it works. If this is Brandon’s baby, it changes literally everything. I’m not sure I could even continue the pregnancy.” She snapped her mouth closed, surprised by her own words.
“Is that what you would want to do?”
“No. Maybe? I just don’t know! And that’s the thing. It won’t just work itself out. It’s a baby,” her voice cracked as she got to the word baby.
“Look at me,” he said, his voice firm.
They were on her bed having what she would call a picnic. After the revelation, Bryce insisted on feeding her even though she didn’t want to leave the bed. The new information had left her reeling and she was having a hard time coming back from it. She peeled her gaze from the bedspread and looked into his serious hazel eyes.
“I say we’ll figure it out, not to brush it off as nothing, but because no matter what you decide I will be here with you. I will support you. We both want children and you tried for children. Even if the baby belongs to Brandon, it will still be mine. If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, I will support your decision. I can completely understand how giving birth to his child might be too much for you. Whatever you decide, I’m here. So, to me, it is that simple.”
His explanation hurt her heart. It was perfect. He was saying all the right things, but no matter how many times he told her they would get through whatever it was, she needed some time alone to figure out what to do. Whatever she decided, it needed to be for her, not for him. She loved him. But she needed to love herself. Spending time with him only served to blur the lines between what she wanted and what she wanted with him.
“I need some time,” she said. Her voice was fragile, and in his silence, she wasn’t sure if he’d heard her. “I said—”
“I heard you,” he interrupted. “I can leave. I’d feel better if I could at least see you off to work, though.”
“I already let them know I won’t be in. I’m in no condition to perform tonight, and they are excited to try out my understudy.”
“Oh.” He stood and picked up his wallet and phone from the nightstand, placing them in his pockets. “I’ll head home then. If you change your mind and don’t want to be alone, just call me.”
Her eyes burned as tears spilled down her cheeks. She didn’t think she had any more tears left. She didn’t want him to go, but she felt like he needed to. Hopefully some time alone would give her some clarity.
“Sam—”
“Just go. Please. I’ll call you.” Closing her eyes and turning her back to him, she effectively dismissed him.
Unsure of how long she’d been lying there, she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. The house was dark with the bedside lamp providing the only light in her apartment. And it was quiet. Dead silent. Not even the refrigerator hummed as she lay in the bed wondering how she could possibly put her life back together.
Waking up alone in the bed made Bryce feel unsettled. It didn’t make sense, since he spent most of his nights alone due to Samantha’s schedule, but for some reason, it felt wrong. He should have fought harder to stay withher. He shouldn’t have left her alone, crying in her bed.
Reminding himself he’d only respected her wishes, he climbed out of bed to get some coffee and let the dog out, doing his best to ignore the loud silence of his house. Asher followed closely behind him, and he opened the back door to let him out. When he turned around, he found Rayelle sitting in his kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.
“Jesus Christ,” he gasped.
Rayelle tipped her head back and laughed. He watched without humor as she contained her laughter and focused her attention back on him.
“Sorry,” she said with a giggle. “I brewed an actual pot of coffee. I figured you’d smell it and figure out that you weren’t alone.”
“I’ve got other shit on my mind. What are you even doing here so early?” he asked after glancing at the clock on the stove.
“You look like shit.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t know that until just now. So why are you here?”
“Have coffee with me.”
He wanted to argue with her and throw her out, but he was actually glad to have her there with him. To say things were rough would be an understatement. The drive home from Samantha’s house had been long, and the night longer. It was partially his fault for falling short. Communication wasn’t always his strong point, so she probably didn’t truly understand his feelings. He filled a cup and joined his friend at the table.
“Now, are you going to tell me why you’re here?”
“I called Samantha last night because I hadn’t heard from her in a while. She sounded about like you look. She tried to play it off like it was nothing, but you know me…” she trailed off before continuing. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” he answered into his mug, wondering just how much detail Samantha went into.
“Don’t do that,” she snapped.
Looking up, he gave her his full attention. “Do what? Drink my coffee?”
Rayelle hid a smile. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
He and Rayelle had been friends long enough that she knew not to push him when he was in one of those moods, and for that he was grateful. Rayelle sat in silence as they drank their coffee, but he wondered if maybe he should talk about it. Maybe she could give him some suggestions, since he obviously had no idea how to handle the situation… not that Samantha was a situation that needed handling.
“She’s pushing me away,” he said softly. “I don’t know what to do.”
Rayelle stood and picked up both mugs on her way to the counter for a refill. She’d never been in that situation, but he hoped she would have some advice. Never having been in a serious relationship before, he was at a total loss.
“She’s worried about making a decision based on your relationship instead of what she really wants.”
“I haven’t pressured her at all. I literally told her I’d be there no matter what and that no matter what she chose, we could figure it out together,” he said louder than he intended, his frustration mounting with every second that passed.
“Yes. Exactly.”
“Exactly what?” he shouted.
“You’re a good guy. I know it. She knows it. She knew it the night she met you. She knows that you’ll do anything as long as it’s the right thing to do. The last thing she wants is for you to stick around and raise another man’s baby out of obligation.” Rayelle finally spelled it out for him.
“Do you hear yourself?” he asked. “It’s not just some other man’s baby. It’s Brandon’s baby. My dead brother. As fucked up as things were at the end, we were once close. We ran out of time for there to be any hope of turning things around. Yeah, he treated Samantha like shit, and I get pissed every time I think about it, but I’m sure he was good to her at one time too. I may not deserve it, but I would be honored to raise that kid, knowing he’s a part of Brandon.” His voice cracked.
When he looked back up at Rayelle, she was wiping away tears. “Did you tell her that?”
He stared at her for a long moment. Did he tell her that? Not exactly, but she knew he wanted to support her. What difference did it make, and why?
“Yes. I told her that I would be there no matter what.”
“That’s not the same thing,” she said gently. “You need to tell her what you told me.”
“I don’t know,” Bryce hesitated. “I’m not trying to hide my feelings, but I don’t want to keep rubbing Brandon in her face.”
“She hasn’t forgotten him, and she won’t. Even if the baby turns out to be yours. You need to tell her what you just told me.”
There was no point in arguing with her. She was probably right. But even if she was right, he couldn’t tell Samantha how he felt if she wouldn’t talk to him. He’d tried calling and texting the night before, and she’d left him on read. If she wanted time, he needed to respect her.
“Tell her,” Rayelle repeated, as if hearing his thoughts. “What you told me could change everything. Tell her.”