32. Chapter 32
Chapter 32
Tate
W hat the fuck was I thinking, taking this place over without having any help, or a plan? I’m beyond exhausted. So exhausted that I blurted out the three words I never thought I’d say to a woman. Not even twenty-four hours after she finally decided to stop giving a shit about what people think of our relationship. I continue to pace inside the barn, trying to get my head right.
“Tate?” Joy’s voice interrupts my spiraling. “Are you okay?”
I look up to meet her gaze. It’s no wonder she came looking for me. I insisted she come back here instead of going straight to Boulder Ranch tonight, but I’ve been avoiding her since she got here.
“I’m sorry. Just came out to clear my head,” I admit.
“How can I help?”
Surprised to hear that response, all I can do is stare at her for a moment. After inviting her here only to ignore her, she’s asking how she can help instead of telling me that I’m being a dick. If Gray ever decides to talk to me again, I’ll have to thank him for making me lose my temper that day. If I hadn’t been leaving the doctor’s office when I was, there’s a good chance I would still be miserable and alone. Albeit I didn’t realize how miserable I was until I allowed happiness to seep into my life.
“Sweetheart, you’re already helping. Come here.”
Tilting her head, she eyes me for a moment before straightening and closing the distance between us. She looks so good, if I was just riding, I’d suggest we skip tonight. She has on a pair of tight jeans that show off her soft curves and a tight black T-shirt paired with her trusty boots. Fucking gorgeous. I hold out my arms and she steps right inside, squeezing me in a desperately needed hug. Instantly my nerves begin to fade as I relish in her touch. I’ve gone my entire life without this. Without someone who makes me feel like things might be okay. Someone to make me believe maybe there is a reason I’m here.
“You ready?” My chin brushes the top of her head when I speak.
“When you are,” she says in a soft voice.
Since she no longer cares to keep things quiet, and everyone already knows about us anyway, I drive us over in my truck. It’s a short, silent drive. If I had to guess, we’ve both got a case of nerves, but for different reasons. I’m stressed out over tonight, and she’s likely worried about her decision for us to be seen together. I give her thigh a squeeze before swinging my door open. She meets me at the front of the truck before I can get around to open her door like I figured she would. But I jolt in surprise when she takes my hand and squeezes it a few times, flashing me a quick smile before letting go.
“It’s going to be great,” she reassures me. “I’m going to go get everything done in the stables and then I’ll come find you to see if you need anything.”
“Joy, you don’t have to work extra hard to prove anything to anyone.”
Grabbing my arm, she pulls me to a stop just before we reach the stables. “I’m not coming to find you as a hardworking ranch hand. I’m going to come find you as your girl.”
She says the words without hesitation, but her cheeks begin to flush, and she swallows hard. I randomly told her I loved her for the first time today, but she’s worried about calling herself my girl. God, I really do love her.
“I’ll see you later,” I say before kissing her on the cheek and heading for my office in the main house.
It still feels strange just walking right in and heading for the office. Every person I pass just nods like I’ve always been here and always been in charge. Gary is already in there waiting, sitting in the chair opposite the desk, his long gray hair hanging over as he leans back with his hands clasped to support his head.
“You all set?” he asks without turning around.
Smiling, I nod as if he can see me. “Yeah. Ready as I’m going to be.”
When I enter the office and round the desk, he grins at me. It’s hard to say if he’s happy for me, or just excited that this night puts him closer to moving to where he and Rhonda’s hearts are. He’s been talking about retiring out in the Southwest for as long as I can remember, and as stressful as this change has been, I’m genuinely happy for them.
“It’ll be fine. This place might not run itself, but everyone’s been here long enough to know what to do when it comes to the rodeo and the bull riding events. This will end up the easy part, you’ll see.”
All I can do is hope he’s right while we go over a few things before I make my rounds. I’m grateful for his help and support until I can find some permanent help. Grayson hasn’t said no. He hasn’t said yes, but there’s hope at least. I’m not delusional enough to think working together will be easy, but at least I can trust him to do right by the ranch and the livestock. If he says yes. The more Gary goes over things, the more I relax realizing I already know all of this. I could recite the order of events in my sleep.
It's about time to get the night started and my palms begin to sweat as I head toward the arena. Right on time, the announcer begins to speak and the screens light up as he welcomes everyone to the Cole County Rodeo. It’ll be the first time since I can remember that neither myself nor my brother are announced as competitors.
I walk out last, after each competitor is announced and am surprised to be greeted with cheers and applause. I take off my hat and wave while everyone files out of the arena so the events can begin. And as loud as the crowd is, that’s what begins to calm my nerves. That, and when I look up, I see Joy standing at her usual spot, smiling at me like I’m the only person here.