6. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
“So, what’s the first thing you’re gonna try to tackle off your list?” Levi asks me a few days after having added to it with Lacey and Ellie.
“You don’t have to help me, you know,” I answer, grabbing what’s become my favorite mug from the cupboard. Summer sent it to Levi a few years ago from wherever she was working at the time. It’s honestly one of those so-ugly-it’s-cute mugs, but it does hold a lot of coffee.
“I know, but I regularly do yoga with JJ, and we figured we’d invite you girls to join us. We do private lessons in the summer, it keeps us flexible and works on specific muscles.”
“Fancy. If the girls are gonna be there then sure I’ll join. I never said it, but thanks for sending them over last weekend. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun or even had girlfriends really. I really appreciate it. They helped me change my mindset. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“Stop thanking me,” Levi says as he comes to give me a hug. “I told you not to worry about it. If you feel that bad and really want to thank me, write your book, and thank me in the dedication,” he says as he shoves me away. “Now go get changed, we leave in fifteen minutes.”
Hurrying through my coffee and making myself a chocolate-banana-strawberry smoothie to pour in a to-go cup, I run up the stairs to change into some workout clothes.
Thirty minutes later, Levi is parking the truck beside what he tells me is JJ’s truck, in front of a small strip mall and points to a simple white sign that reads Namaste Yoga, where a tall brown-haired man is holding the door open for Ellie and Lacey. We follow them inside where the smell of sage rapidly engulfs me, making my shoulders lower and relax. It’s either that or the softly playing downtempo music that welcomes us that has me taking a deep breath and feeling my entire body relax as I let it out.
“You must be Hannah,” the green-eyed Adonis of a man says, holding out his hand. “I’m JJ. Pleasure to finally meet you.” Shaking his hand I give Lacey and Ellie a look that hopefully reads as how in the hell did you forget to tell me that JJ is also a sweaty-coma-inducing-sex-on-legs of a man. Seriously, is this entire hockey team over six feet tall, wider than a bus, and have perfect teeth? If so, why the hell didn’t I take Levi up on his offer to come here two years ago?
Not that any of them would want anything to do with an almost thirty-year-old with no job prospects . . .
“Han? Hannah? You ready?” I hear Levi say as he nudges his elbow against mine. “What’s up? You look lost in thought.”
“Nothing. Just that, lost in my thoughts,” I say, hearing the dejection in my own voice.
“You sure? Do I need to get Summer to call you? She said she could call in case of emergencies,” he urges on.
“It’s nothing. Just stuck in a loop of thoughts.”
“About Lucas?” Levi asks, bending at the knee a bit to look in my eyes.
“Not really,” I say, trying to look away. With a huff I continue, “You’re gonna think I’m nuts, but you asked for it and your sister is too hard to reach for me to say this to.” Looking up, making sure the tears don’t fall. “I was thinking how no man would want to date a twenty-nine-year-old with no job prospects, who . . .”
“Hey, hey, hey. First, you’re not thirty yet, and second, you have a Masters Degree. That in itself is impressive enough, but you picked up your life and moved across the country and said you were going to write a book. Give your book five hours a day until your birthday at the end of August, and I’m sure you’ll be able to say you’re an author before your thirtieth birthday,” he says with a hug. The hug is comforting, but he’s not saying anything I haven’t already told myself. It’s like I’m just sitting in my own self-pity not knowing how to get out; I’m just slowly drowning. How does one get over the fact that the man they married, they took care of, put their own life on hold for, just threw everything you thought you had away? How do you get over the fact that the man you vowed to love forever, even when you didn’t or when it was impossible to, just slept with other women from pretty much the second the ink was dry on your marriage certificate?
“Hey! The instructor is about to start. You guys coming?” Lacey yells from the entrance of the yoga space, shaking me out of my spiralling thoughts.
“You good to go in?” Levi asks gently, pulling away.
“Yes. Let’s see how flexible you are, Little Jonesy,” I say with a soft smile that I know isn’t reaching my eyes.
With one last squeeze, Levi says, “I know you're deflecting, but trust me when I say you have plenty to offer. Big and small. I know it’s easier said than done, but forget about him, he’s not worth any more of your energy.”
Sixty minutes later, we’re leaving the yoga studio sweaty and laughing. I definitely needed that yoga session, I already feel a little lighter. Not much, but just enough to make this afternoon not so heavy. It’s almost like I’m more comfortable in my body. I’m present in the now and not in the past.
“I can’t believe I fell like that,” Ellie says, still blushing.
“Not your fault sweetie, you’ve never done yoga before.” JJ smooths over, throwing his arms around Ellie’s shoulder, kissing the top of her head, making her blush deepen.
“Considering, you’re six foot three and weigh two hundred fifty pounds, you should be the one falling all over, not me,” Ellie answers, pushing him off of her, making him laugh. And that feeling is back, the more I watch them together, it’s clear to see that I never had that. I always . . .
Before I can go too deep in the rabbit hole, Levi nudges me and says, “Enough of that for the day.”
“Enough of what?”
“You know what. You and Summer are the exact same, you get the same look on your face when your thoughts start getting away from you,” he says with a smirk.
“How about avocado toast as a reward for all that hard work?” JJ says before I can answer Levi.
“Avocado toast?” Lacey asks with a snort. “Since when do you eat avocado toast? What happened to the I-Only-Eat-Meat-and-Potatoes kid I grew up with?” she ends with a laugh.
“He became a man who makes millions on being healthy,” he says. “A man who pays for your education,” he adds with a wink, tagging her around the neck to give her a nuggy.
“Okay! Enough! Enough!” she says, trying to hide a laugh as the rest of us break into an uncontrollable laughter. Once we’ve calmed down Levi says, “Our usual spot?” With a nod of the head from JJ, Levi says, “Perfect, we’ll meet you guys there.”
Once we’re sitting in the car on our way to the breakfast restaurant, waiting at a red-light Levi turns to look at me. “You feeling better?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I know it’s tough, but you’ll be back to that annoying, wild child you were before you left home. The confident girl who used to Skype home with Summer to keep us younger boys in line.”
“I know. I just wish I could get there faster.”
“All great things take time, Hannah.”
“When did you become so deep, Little Jonesy?” I say with an eye roll.
“Since you moved in with me and Summer sent me a thousand scenarios and what to do and say in each scenario.”
“She didn’t?” I ask, eyes going wide.
“She did. Although, just in point form, so really, half of it is me,” he says with a smirk and a wink. “But in all honesty, I think having Ellie and Lacey will help. Plus, working on that Bucket List will push you out of your comfort zone. You’ll be fine,” he finishes as we pull into a parking lot.
“Come on. Let me buy you unlimited coffee and the best avocado toast you’ve ever had. Then we’ll invite ourselves to JJ’s to use his pool,” he says.
Walking into the restaurant, I can tell you that I am not having avocado toast. How these two come here regularly and eat something like avocado toast has me questioning my friendship with Levi. This place oozes grease. It’s the kind of place where you know the coffee is strong, the bacon is perfectly crispy, and the pancakes are amazingly fluffy. There’s no way I’m settling for an avocado toast.
My stomach growls at the smells, just as I spot Lacey, Ellie and JJ sitting in a red leather corner booth. We wave and make our way over. I’ve barely had time to sit down before JJ says, “So Hannah, about this Bucket List I’ve heard about . . .”
“You’ve heard about that?” I ask, cutting him off, casting a look at Ellie.
“Yeah, Ellie told me you had some interesting things on that thing. Quite a few you could easily do here in Calgary.”
“Oh really? What exactly did Ellie tell you?” I ask, feeling the blush deepen on my cheeks, hoping she didn’t tell him the entire list.
“Yeah,” JJ continues as he takes a sip of his coffee, not noticing how uncomfortable I’ve gotten. “I actually realized that I’ve lived in Calgary for a few years, six years to be exact, and I’ve never been horseback riding, done a pedal pub—even though they're notorious here—and I’ve never been line dancing. So, I got to looking around last night and I found a bar that has line dancing nights on Thursdays. How about it?”
“How about what?” I ask. I stopped listening when I realized that he might know I want to have sex outdoors, or that I’ve never had life-changing sex.
“Line dancing! I found a bar that has line dancing nights on Thursday, did you want to go?” he asks with excitement in his voice. Oh my God, this complete stranger found a line dancing bar for my Bucket List. Okay it doesn’t sound completely unselfish on his part, but still. I mean my husband forgot my birthday two years in a row and got me a gift card on the last Christmas we were together, but JJ, a stranger, found a line dancing bar. Not for his girlfriend, not for his sister, but for me. A stranger.
“So? What do you say?” he asks again.
“Yes, that would be great! Levi was just telling me I needed to get some things crossed off my list,” I agree, still a little lost in thoughts.
“Yay! I have the perfect pair of boots I never get to wear!” Ellie says excitedly.
“Perfect, you girls can all get ready at JJ’s while I take advantage of his pool,” Levi adds, throwing a wink at JJ.
Laughing, JJ says, “Sounds great, I’ll invite a few of the boys to join us.”