Chapter Fourteen #2
“Oh, God.” He touched it, reveled in the softness, and could almost see the babe in his mind.
For the first time in a long while, Evan let the moisture well in his eyes, and then he completely forgot himself and cried.
There was no shame in doing so. Ever since coming into contact with Hannah, far too many emotions had pushed to the surface, and he couldn’t hold them back any longer.
The drawings blurred; he quickly replaced the curl and closed the book so the drops wouldn’t damage such precious memories.
“I’m so, so sorry, Evan.” The tears on her cheeks only exacerbated his own.
The book slipped from his fingers. “So am I.” Needing some sort of comfort and to offer her the same, he took her into his arms and simply held her.
“I never had the chance to meet my daughter, but I’m damn well not going to let you grieve alone any longer.
” When she wrapped one of her arms about his middle and left the other tucked against his chest, warmth filled him, for in that moment, there was only her and him, and they were bound together by a grief that only parents of a lost child could know.
Their history together had turned deeper, meant more than what he’d had before, and suddenly he didn’t feel so alone any longer. At least he knew what had put the shadows in Hannah’s eyes and why she had kept him at arm’s length this time around.
Pulling slightly away, he cupped her cheek, slid the pad of his thumb over her lower lip, then bent his head and kissed the tears from her skin.
Once he had finished, he fit his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly, telling her without words that he was proud of her for carrying a child and bearing it alone, showing her that she was more than worthy regardless of what happened to her after the baby died…
reassuring her that he didn’t hold any ill will for her for not telling him.
In this way, he had the chance to give her back some of what she had given him all along that he hadn’t realized.
In short, she had shown him a reason to keep on… with everything. And it completely jumbled his thoughts, twisted them into knots.
When she uttered a soft sound of surrender, he moved them over the floor toward the side of the bed. “What are we doing?”
“Surely you can guess,” he said against her lush lips. “I want you.” As he spoke, interest shivered down his shaft. With little effort, he tumbled them both onto the bed, and with a bit of maneuvering, he went onto his back and had her sprawling awkwardly over his chest.
Cleo jumped from the bed and scampered from the room with an offended meow.
“I am quite vulnerable at the moment, and beyond that, I am rubbish with navigating through life when emotions are involved.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Perhaps, but since I’m struggling with the same, we don’t need words to have this conversation.”
“At least I’m not alone.”
“Not anymore.” And he meant that.
“I thought you were supposed to be a horrible, hardened pirate?”
“Oh, I’m quite hard, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Mmm, I have.” Her purr of laughter went straight to his member that was already tightened to painful awareness. “We’re both broken, I think, but with you I don’t feel so hopeless. In many ways, you have made me come alive again, even if I didn’t wish it.”
“That is a lovely sentiment.” Home. She felt like home to him.
That was the missing something he could never put into words.
Evan ran his hands up and down her arms as she straddled his waist. “Now, do you need more words of encouragement, or shall we move straight into the comforting portion of this evening?”
“Can we not have both?” When she grinned and the gesture crinkled the delicate skin at the corners of her eyes, he lost another piece of his heart to her.
Damn, I’m in a bit of a pickle.
“Ah, Anna, more and more I’m regretting being away for ten years.” He slipped a hand to her nape, tugged her down, and then kissed her with enthusiasm. Those soft petal lips welcomed him home without condition or exception.
It was one of the best things about falling in love, or so he assumed, since he’d never truly been in such a state before.
Or perhaps that was a lie, for there had always been Hannah at the back of his mind, waiting for him.
Yet none of those thoughts made sense. She had her own life, and once he claimed his title, he would too.
When she broke the embrace to smile at him, the bodice of her gown gaped, for he’d undone the laces at the back, and the sleeves had slipped down her arms. The fabric clung to her breasts with barely a breath, and damn if that wasn’t the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. “What does that mean?”
What indeed. “I am not sure.” How could he explain to her what he meant when he couldn’t comb through the tangles in his mind?
“Fair enough.” Her gray eyes held shadows, but he couldn’t read them in the dim candlelight. “I truly meant to tell you about Charlotte. Time got away from me then grief held me in its grasp…”
“It is enough that you’ve done so now.” Though it would take some time for him to work through the morass of emotions still battering him. “I will always hate myself that I was away when you had to go through all this alone. I should have been here.”
“You were defending the country in the war, doing good works, while I had descended into such scandal that I would have been shunned from society if that were found out.” Hannah’s eyes darkened with the same desire that currently lit tiny fires in his blood.
“It doesn’t matter, especially since I’m still chasing scandal.
” One of her finely feathered red eyebrows arched in invitation or challenge, he couldn’t decide, but knowing her, it was a challenge. “Should I change now, at my age?”
Was there any wonder he was coming to adore her? “You should not. If you did, I’d lose you all over again.” Shit, he hadn’t meant to admit that, but light danced in her eyes.
“True.” She lowered her head to his. “Honesty is quite an attractive quality, and though I loathe it when you show jealousy and possession regarding me, that’s attractive as well.” Then she kissed him.
And his world fell apart.
Their tongues met and tangled in a mating dance as old as time.
In short order, he stripped to his breeches and lawn shirt.
Her gown joined the growing pile of discarded clothing, as did her stays and petticoat.
Fingers and hands were seemingly everywhere; caresses encouraged moans and questing fingertips over sensitive skin were met with gasps and sighs.
It took little time to remove his shirt and her chemise, and once she was gloriously naked, Evan lay her back against the bed pillows then came over her.
“I know this can never make up for my absence, but—”
“Stop talking.” She drew her fingers along his chest, leaving maddening sensations behind. “What’s done is done.”
Giddy awareness assailed him as he kissed a path down her body, being sure to tease and torment her nipples as he went.
Her back arched; she furrowed her fingers into his hair while he continued his quest to lick and nibble every inch of her.
When he pressed his lips to her mons, she splayed her thighs, wriggled her hips in invitation, and Evan didn’t need further encouragement.
How damned fortunate I am with her.
How could he give her up? Since there were no immediate answers, he shoved those thoughts from his mind in favor of devouring her, showed her with his tongue and fingers how he would claim her in mere moments.
Whimpering cries of need left her throat and still he explored.
Soon enough he brought her swollen nubbin out of hiding.
Through suction and friction, he brought her to the edge of bliss again and again, never letting her hit release, then he started the cycle over again.
By the time she came undone from his ministrations, he was hard to the point of discomfort, needed to join with her else he’d embarrass himself.
While Hannah was lost to the throes of spending, he left the bed long enough to remove his breeches. By the time her breathing had returned to normal, and a red flush swept over her upper chest, he’d covered her body with his and claimed her lips.
But she apparently wasn’t in the mood to go slowly. She looped her arms about his shoulders, and as she pulled him closer, she wrapped her legs around his, holding him in the cradle of her hips. “I need you, Evan.” The whisper was fraught with desire and a touch desperate.
“Take what you will.” He kissed her again because he could, and feathered his fingers into her hair to gently hold her head in his palm, keeping her steady.
With his other hand, he guided his shaft, teasing her flesh with his tip before thrusting, taking her, claiming her, speared into her, and he didn’t stop until he’d buried himself stones deep.
Sensations raced along every nerve ending; a rush of tingling awareness went over him.
“Damn, but this moment is one of my favorite things.”
Hannah moaned with delight. “I’ve never been as satisfied as I am with you.
” She squirmed beneath him, taking him ever deeper.
While she tightened her inner muscles, squeezing his length, she lightly bit his earlobe.
“Pray continue. Show me that you don’t think less of me for keeping the knowledge of Charlotte from you. ”
“Never could I think that.” Emotion once more crowded his throat, but he ignored it.