Chapter 15
Chapter
Fifteen
Levi
Since Brooke is gone for the afternoon, Skyler and I decide to do some fishing. He has a great setup out at his creek. There’s an easy path to get there, so we wheel our tackle box, poles, and a cooler out there in a wagon. At the water, there’s a comfortable bench his grandfather built where we can set up. Someone has trimmed the lower branches of a graceful willow tree so we can sit beneath it, shaded from the hot sun. And best of all, the sky is brilliant blue with not a single noisy aircraft marring the peace of the day. I could get used to this.
Skyler does have some dexterity issues with his right hand, so I tie our hooks to our lines and load them up with bait. He busies himself with putting our chilled beers in koozies and opening them. Skyler’s grandfather must have enjoyed his beer as well because the arms of the bench have built-in drink holders. It’s not a terribly large bench, so we keep brushing our arms against one another. I’m finding that I don’t mind this at all; his nearness is a comfort.
While we’re getting set up, Skyler says, “I’ve always meant to ask you, how did you meet Brooke?”
“Oh, uh…” I try not to look embarrassed. “During one of our block leaves, I was babysitting Lulu for Kate when she had a doctor’s appointment, and we ran out of snacks. So I took Lulu to the market and ended up buying a whole bunch of crap. By the time I made it to the parking lot, Lulu was having a meltdown because it was way past her naptime, and I couldn’t get her into the car seat. While I was struggling with her, my shopping cart rolled away, and this lovely, helpful angel ran and got it and brought it back before it crashed into someone’s car. Then she talked Lulu down out of her fit while I unloaded the cart. I had a terrible time convincing her I wasn’t some scatterbrained new dad, and I was only the scatterbrained uncle. She finally agreed to having dinner with me when she heard Lulu call me Uncle Levi.”
He cracks up and says, “Smooth. Why didn’t I ever know this before?”
“I dunno, but hey…she married me! So I couldn’t have been that awful.”
After his laughter peters out, Skyler lapses into silence. We’ve been fishing for a while with no bites at all, but he doesn’t seem too focused on catching anything. He clearly has something on his mind. He starts to speak a few times and then stops himself. After a long silence, he finally asks me, “Why did you jump in front of me?”
A chill runs down my spine despite the heat of the day. “In Afghanistan?” I ask like a dope. Of course that’s what he means, and I’m stalling. I hate thinking about that day. And I hate that I can’t stop thinking about it.
He turns and looks at me with those expressive eyes of his. “Yes, Levi. In Afghanistan. The shooter was mowing people down, and you took it upon yourself to shield me . I’m happy you did it but…why?”
My hands start to shake, so I quickly reel in my line and grab a gulp of beer while he patiently waits for my answer. “I’ve thought about that day a million times. I had to do it. It was like everything was in slow motion after we got in there and realized it was an ambush. That little shit blasted holes in the two guys at the other end of the room before he even made it through the door, and he was working his way toward us. I saw that your rifle was on the ground for some reason, and I knew you couldn’t defend yourself. I instantly thought of what it would be like to go home without you…” My voice catches, and I stop for a moment. I have to clear my throat before I can go on. “Instinct took over. I jumped in front of you, hoping like hell you didn’t shoot me in the back by mistake, and I started firing. I know I made a fuck-up of the whole thing because I should have shot sooner to possibly save more guys. They were caught off-guard because the shooter came in with his rifle spraying bullets, and the sun was right in their faces through the doorway. Even though the open door was blocking him from my view until he was pretty far inside…” I pause and take a breath so deep my chest hurts from it. “I feel like I killed them myself some days. It’s hard, Sky. It’s really hard to take.”
He nods at me and says softly, “I like it when you call me Sky.”
“That’s how I think of you in my head. I guess it kind of slipped out.”
“You know you don’t have to feel guilty about any of what happened.” He puts his arm around my shoulders, and it feels so good.
“Rationally, I know that, but my heart has a hard time with it.”
Skyler looks pensive a moment and adds, “My PT guy here in town hooked me up with an online therapist who really helps me with the memories and nightmares. The guy is terrific. I’ll give you his contact information if you think you’d like to talk to him. If not, I won’t bug you about it. But you should also know he encouraged me to drive over to your place and seek you out. He thought seeing you would be healing. He’s not wrong.”
I nod and tell him, “Thanks. I should probably talk to him. I just haven’t been ready. You know?” I turn to look him in the eye and ask, “So why was your gun on the ground?” I’m sorry I turned toward him because his arm slips away, and I miss it immediately.
“I was adjusting my headset. It was loose and kept bugging me. I guess that was a bad move, but obviously, I didn’t have any idea we were going to be shot at right then.”
“No, it makes sense, and the headset was crucial in the long run. You got the rescue party to us as quickly as possible.” I place a hand on his shoulder and say, “Thank you for sticking with me and bringing us down here. I’m not sure Brooke and I were going to work the way things were going. I know I was being an asshole to her. And I apologize for shutting you out. I just felt like such a worthless shit. I was afraid to face you, even as much as I missed your company. Even though you seemed pretty cool when I saw you at Walter Reed, I was still scared you’d think more about that day and blame me for the other guys, and as long as I didn’t have to hear it from you, it might not be true.”
“Well, I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you that I certainly don’t blame you for what happened, and I doubt Brooke would leave you for any reason. She’s crazy about you. You’re a lucky man, Levi. She’s special for sure.”
“You want to fuck her?”
Skyler’s eyes widen. “Levi! Knock it off. Just because I can give her a compliment doesn’t mean I’m trying to steal your wife.”
“I know that. You’re the best friend there is. But I think seeing you and Brooke together would be amazing.”
“What are you saying? You want us to get it on so you can…watch?”
“I wouldn’t say no to that.” He stares at me wide-eyed, so I continue. “Look, the reason I got hard the other night was because I was thinking about Brooke being with you. That’s the first time I’ve managed to come since before we were deployed.”
“Well, shit.”
“Sky, I see you ogling her all the time. Tell me you haven’t fantasized about her.”
“Uh…”
“Right. You can’t. You want a piece of her. And I could talk her into it, I’m sure.”
“Jesus, Levi! I’m shocked. It’s just…I’m…”
“Just what? Are you actually more interested in someone else, and you just like looking at her?”
“Um…I’m totally attracted to Brooke, but…yeah, kinda. There is someone I sorta think about sometimes. Not that I know what to do about it.”
“Oh. That doesn’t sound like you. But…look, I didn’t know you had someone in mind already. Maybe you could just try to man up and say something. Sorry to butt in.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” Skyler fiddles with his pole, not looking at me.
“So who is she?”
Instead of answering me, Skyler jumps up and whoops, “Caught one!”
For the next couple of hours, we bring in a whole string of trout, not talking about anything other than our prowess as fishermen.
Finally, we head back to the house and clean the fish. We both agree that it’s the worst part of fishing, but it’s worth it. We get cleaned up, and Skyler grabs a bunch of ingredients that mystify me. He tells me to call Brooke.
“Dinner will be ready in about forty-five minutes,” he announces. “You have plenty of time for a shower if you want one before we eat. I’m just going to get the initial prep done and then I’ll go shower. I’ll do the last part when she gets home…er…I mean when she gets here .”
I smile and tell him, “It feels like home, Sky. I texted Brooke a little while ago already.” Then I add with a grin, “You can forget the ball cap now. Brooke told be about you smacking your head on the door when you made your hasty retreat.”
“Oh, uh…yeah. Sorry about last night. I was just out there looking for my phone, and…well…”
“No apologies are necessary. We both knew you were there.”
“You did too?”
“Yes, and if it had bothered me, I’d have either asked Brooke to stop—hah! Fat chance! Or I’d have politely asked you to head back indoors. The fact is it turned me on having you there.” He doesn’t say anything and just stares at me, so I go on, “Look, I don’t know why that is, or what it means. I’ve sure as hell never felt that way in my life before. I’ve always been fiercely protective of Brooke, but I also strangely feel possessive about you. I don’t know if it’s the hero thing, if it’s because you’re my best buddy, or it’s some new kind of feeling. I just…” I exhale deeply. “I just feel things about you and Brooke. It’s not that I need her any less, but I need you too for some reason. Does that make any sense?”
Skyler doesn’t meet my eyes for a while, but when he does, his look is penetrating. “Okay, Since you’re spilling some…stuff, I’ll give you pure honesty. Like I said, I’m not trying to interfere in your marriage. I think Brooke is gorgeous and a remarkable woman. I like everything about her and think you’re a lucky bastard to have her. I pray that the two of you never mess up what you have because you’re both special. That said, I’d take her to bed in an instant if my conscience didn’t keep me away from her. But…it does. I’m not sure I could ever get past that.”
“Even for me?” I ask.
Brooke comes waltzing into the house and stops to look at us. I’m sure we have strange expressions on our faces. She looks so pretty and puzzled, I can’t resist going to her and wrapping my arms around her. I nuzzle her neck and nibble on her ear because I know that’s always gotten her going.
“I’m glad you’re back, babe,” I whisper in her ear. “Did you have a fun time with Juni?”
“Yes, loads of fun. Did you guys have a good day?”
“We did. We caught lots of fish and talked about some interesting things.” I look sideways at Skyler who has a nervous look on his face, so I stop talking before I embarrass both of us. “I’m heading to the shower before dinner. Want to join me?”
“I think in all fairness I ought to help Skyler with dinner since the two of you caught it, and I’ve done nothing.”
Skyler grins and says, “You can set the table. Indoors or out? It’s up to you.”
“I choose outside,” she says with a grin and proceeds to set us up on the screened porch.