8. Mathew
8
Mathew
By the time we came home, I was fully awake again, which was good because there’s no way I would be able to sleep with all the noise going on. I know it’ll only be a few more days, but I’m really fucking done with all the noise by now. It’s hard to think and even harder to find somewhere quiet to relax.
We mostly spent our time in the garden until the contractors left for the day, which was the quietest place near the house. Not exactly quiet, but the quietest . I got some work done, mostly replying to emails and looking at some of the progress reports that Derrick and Timothy sent me on different jobs we’ve got going on.
I’ll have to have a meeting with them soon for one of the missions. We’ll have to go through the plans and see how many people we’ll need for it. It’s not a complicated mission, we have to pick up some items and bring them to their new owner. Pretty basic, in theory.
Unlike with Vera and Caleb, the items in question aren’t humans, but that doesn’t mean we can go in without a plan and do whatever we like. There’ll be guards we’ll have to get around and it would be best to leave as few dead bodies behind as possible, since dead bodies means people wanting answers, and answers means trouble.
Maybe I’ll join the team this time around, we need extra people and I’ve not been on any missions since Vera and Caleb arrived, even though I used to go out regularly. My lack of pheromones are a great advantage when we have to slip in and out of places without getting detected. One less thing to worry about. I’ll discuss it with Derrick and Timothy.
I put my laptop aside and close my eyes as I lean back on my elbows. I’ve been so restless for the last couple of days, mostly because I’ve been waiting for our meeting at the hospital, but now that we know that everything is going well with our pregnancies, I finally feel like I can think again. I finally feel like my brain can rest, even though I’ve got lots of work stacked up because I’ve been putting it off.
But before I fall asleep in the warm late afternoon glow, I should take a shower. Otherwise, it won’t happen before I’m so exhausted that I crash the moment I see our bed this evening, and, if the last weeks are any indication, a shower tomorrow morning probably won’t happen, at least not before the contractors arrive and I won’t be able to take a shower in my own bathroom. The showers downstairs are fine, but I prefer the one upstairs.
Sighing, I get up, taking my laptop inside with me, and I look around my office. They’ve taken out all the old flooring and put in new under layers before they’ll add the new flooring in the next few days. The place looks strange and bare without my desk and other furniture and we should repaint the walls before we put everything back. I didn’t realise it until we took everything out, but the paint has discoloured somewhat in the decade since I moved in.
I hear the voices of the others in the new living room as I put my laptop in the library. Caleb has been spending most of yesterday and this afternoon emptying out the new living room, since it’s currently mostly used for storage, and he’s been finding plenty of things that I totally forgot that we had. Though, most of them are things that were a ‘good idea not to lose’ and, of course, we then totally forgot about.
For a moment, I’m tempted to join them, but I feel sticky and if I don’t take a shower now, I’ll fall asleep without one.
Their voices fade away as I walk up the stairs to our bedroom. The hallway is filled with furniture, boxes and bags at the moment, since every room apart from our bedroom have been taken apart to nothing. Luckily, the only real change to our bedroom is the new bed and the reorganising of the dressers and other things to fit it in. Which took less than a day to do.
I glance at the large bed. Like Vera said, it’s basically the same as I had, just much, much bigger. I’m really glad that we got it, since we can’t really use the nest right now, and with the warmer weather, sleeping in the bedroom is much nicer, not as stuffy.
I let out a soft laugh as I slowly take my dress shirt off as I walk over to the bathroom, passing the bed. The thing is big enough that we can choose if we want to cuddle up or not, and we don’t have to worry about being in other people’s way. Lack of personal space was already an issue when it was just Vera, Caleb and me, but with Jorge and Riley added, my old bed was definitely not working out anymore.
The blankets situation is something we still have to figure out, since one big blanket doesn’t work, someone is always too hot or too cold. Or, much more common, someone is hogging all of it and not sharing with the others…
Putting the dress shirt on the chair next to the door, I get rid of my suit pants and then step into the bathroom, first turning the shower on before I take off my socks and boxer briefs. As the shower heats up, I check myself in the mirror before it fogs up.
I run my hand over my chest down to my stomach, tensing my muscles. I can’t see or feel any changes yet, no matter how hard I try.
From the scan this morning, we now have definitive confirmation that I’m pregnant, even if my body doesn’t show it yet. Part of me is impatient to watch my body change over the coming months, as life is growing inside me. Another part of me doesn’t want anything to change, because once I start showing, my life as an ‘Alpha’ will be over. And that’s scary.
With a sigh, I step into the shower, letting the hot water crash down on my shoulders like a waterfall, relaxing my muscles. Today is one of those days that I’m very grateful for the jet feature, it’s just the right amount of heat and pressure to get the kinks out of my shoulders.
Once word gets out that I’m an Omega, and not an Alpha like I’ve let people believe for the last decade, things are going to get tricky.
There will be a lot of people who’ll try to get rid of me, who’ll try to take over my position because they suddenly see me as ‘weak’. Lots of people who’ll start spreading rumours and try to destroy my business. That’s why I’ve got to complete as many jobs as possible before then, and also build up a strong protective network at the same time, to hopefully make it out with my life, my pack and my organisation still intact.
I tense as the bathroom door opens and steady footsteps come inside, followed by the scent of cedar.
“I looked all over the house, only to find you in the last place I think to go.” Jorge lets out a content laugh. “I should have known to look here first.” He turns the water for the bath on and then opens the shower door. “Want to take a bath together?”
His hand almost feels cool against the hot skin of my back. “Fucking hell, are you trying to boil yourself?” He quickly shuts the shower off and turns me to him. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, not meeting his gaze, instead focusing on the black barbels in his nipples. They make them look all perky and inviting and, without thinking, I reach up and flick at one of them.
Jorge lets out a soft sound and grabs for my wrist, holding me. “What’s wrong?” His voice is softer now, and he puts my hand against his chest, letting me feel his steady heartbeat as he surrounds me in his pheromones, trying to calm me.
I have no idea how to answer him, how to explain the anxiety, the sensation that I’m running out of time before the world will fall apart around me. How finally having my pack is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but that it’s also the thing that could very well destroy everything I’ve done in the last decade.
An Alpha at the head of an organisation like mine is expected. An Omega? That’s not ‘normal’, and this world only has one way to deal with things that aren’t ‘normal’, they get rid of them…
That I’ve always been an Omega and that I’ve managed to build this organisation to what it is now all on my own skill won’t matter, only the fact I’m not an Alpha will matter…
Since I’m not saying anything, Jorge slowly pulls me out of the shower. “Let’s get you in the bath, that always used to relax you.”
The bath is mostly full by now and he steps in, before pulling me in with him. He sits down, leaning against the end so I can sit between his legs, my back to his chest. Then he wraps his arms around me, letting out a soft and content sound.
The combination of his body, the warm water and his soothing pheromones make me relax too and I put my hands over his, holding him. Flashes of memories pop into my head, the same bathroom, the same scents, the same way he’s holding me.
“I remember we used to do this a lot. Why did we stop?” My mind is too fried to remember much, just that we used to do this and then stopped at some point. But no memories of why.
Jorge kisses my shoulder, letting out a long breath, his pheromones taking on a sad note that confuses me. “We used to do this all the time when we’d just met. It was one of the few ways I could get you to relax when you were all wound up.” He leans his head against the back of mine. “I had to stop when you made it clear that we could only be friends with benefits. I could do the friends thing, I could do the sex thing, but being intimate like this made it too hard to keep my promise.”
My heart falters at the broken tone of his voice and I turn around, catching his gaze.
I remember now. I remember how good it felt, how good these moments used to feel, and how sad and relieved I felt when we stopped doing it.
Our ‘friends with benefits’ deal had always been a fine line to walk, always struggling between giving into our bond and keeping my distance because I couldn’t give him what he deserved. Knowing that he struggled with it as much as I did hurts, but it also makes me want to give into our needs that much more now.
I reach up, touching his jaw and he leans into my hand, his gaze steady. “I’ll never let you go again. Never.” I lean closer, putting my lips to his.
Jorge has always made me feel good, made me feel wanted, made me feel loved.
“Good.” His sadness seems to disappear and his kiss is hot and heavy. “Because I’m not letting you go either. You’re mine .” He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling us together, letting me know that he doesn’t just mean not letting me go in a ‘grand scheme of life’ way, but also in the immediate ‘I want to fuck you’ way.
And, with that, the last of my anxiety and stress disappears, to be replaced with a deep need for my Alpha, for my mate, for how good we can feel together.