32. Sophie
32
Sophie
T he next three weeks flew by. I worked during the week, texted and called Maverick day in and day out, and tried to spend my weekends at his penthouse. Each weekend I spent with him, we explored sex in ways I never thought possible.
We used toys. Lots of toys that made me blush just thinking about them. My handcuffs had been used several times, on the both of us, as well as dildos, vibrators, cock rings—the list could go on practically forever.
And yet, despite how hard I continued to fall for him, there was something niggling in the back of my mind. One barrier we had yet to breach.
The final layer of trust between us that seemed insurmountable.
Sunday Maverick 8:14 AM
I miss you already. Come back.
Sophie 8:59 AM
I wish, but I have a new case. Miss you too, btw.
Maverick 9:20 AM
Do you ever NOT have a case?
Sophie 9:21 AM
Nope. Perks of the job. Haven’t you heard? Dead bodies = I get paid 3
Maverick 9:32 AM
I could take care of you. You wouldn’t need to work.
Also, for the record, I’m not responsible for the sudden increase in dead bodies in New Jersey.
Sophie 9:44 AM
LOL. Since you’re soooo innocent, maybe you should come to my place tonight instead of waiting until the weekend.
Maverick 9:46 AM
As much as I’d love to bury my face between your legs sooner, I have to catch up on the work I neglect every time I see you.
Thursday Sophie 5:47 PM
Looks like I’ll have a long night ahead of me. Last-minute case :( Also, I’m on call this weekend because my lazy-ass colleagues called out.
Maverick 5:49 PM
Of course they did.
Sophie 5:50 PM
Yep. Which means I can’t be in the city in case I get called in.
Maverick 5:51 PM
Sigh . That’s unfortunate.
I understand.
But I still miss you.
And my wrist is getting sore.
Sophie 5:52 PM
Have you considered… NOT jerking off constantly??? Might spare yourself early-onset arthritis.
Maverick 5:55 PM
If I waited until I saw you again, I’d end up embarrassing myself in the middle of a meeting. You’re always on my mind.
Sophie 5:56 PM
You’re depraved.
And you have a filthy mouth.
Maverick 5:56 PM
Yes. And you love it.
Sophie 5:57 PM
I do. And now I’m wondering how I can get myself off discreetly while at work. Maybe you should come pay me a visit.
Maverick 6:08 PM
If you don’t FaceTime me when you do, I’ll punish you.
Tuesday Sophie 3:23 AM
Is it Thursday yet?
Tuesday Maverick 6:10 AM
Why the hell were you awake at three in the morning?
Sophie 6:12 AM
Never went to sleep. Long night at work.
Maverick 6:13 AM
Jesus. Do you ever rest?
Sophie 6:27 AM
Apparently only when I’m with you. Come take a nap with me. I just got home. 3
Maverick 6:29 PM
You know I’d be there if I could.
Tuesday Sophie 5:01 PM
You’re lucky I like you. I took a two-hour nap before coming back to work. On my way to spend the night with you now :)
Thursday Maverick 2:36 PM
Please tell me I’ll get to see you tonight. I miss you. :'(
Sophie 2:39 PM
Who would’ve guessed that big, scary Maverick Mercer would be using a sad face because of a girl?!
Maverick 2:40 PM
Ha-ha.
Thursday Sophie 4:49 PM
About your earlier question… no, looks like I have a stakeout tonight. Got a break in one of my open cases.
Maverick 4:54 PM PM
Be careful. Call me if anything happens.
… And tell me you'll be here tomorrow.
Friday Sophie 1:17 PM
Got our perp and just finished my reports. If you can break away from work, I’d love to see you 3
Maverick 1:18 PM
I’ll be home soon.
Wednesday Maverick 2:18 PM
Any chance you’re up for going to Vegas this weekend?
Sophie 2:19 PM
VEGAS?!
Maverick 2:20 PM
That’s what I said. Having trouble keeping up after how late I kept you up last night?
Sophie 2:20 PM
I think you just redefined the term “dicked me down.”
Maverick 2:21 PM
Ever heard "Dicked Down in Dallas"?
Sophie 2:23 PM
You listen to country?
Maverick 2:24 PM
Do YOU listen to country?
Sophie 2:25 PM
Answering a question with a question? So below you, Mav.
Maverick 2:27 PM
Shut up or I’ll make you the next time I see you.
Sophie 2:28 PM
Is that a promise or a threat?
Maverick 2:28 PM
Jesus.
Fucking.
Christ.
I'm corrupting you.
Sophie 2:29 PM
:)
I’ll tell my partner and captain I’m unavailable for OT or on-call duty this weekend. When do we leave?
Maverick 2:30 PM
Halls will pick you up after work tomorrow.
Sophie 2:30 PM
Will you be with him?
Maverick 2:39 PM
No. I’ll be tying up loose ends at work.
***
“Clemens is cool with you leaving so last minute?” Callie prompted as I packed a bag for my trip to Vegas tomorrow, my phone wedged between my cheek and my shoulder.
Sighing, I said, “She’ll have to be. She left me to do that stakeout alone while she was off sucking Taylor’s dick, so. She kinda owes me.”
“Wait, your new captain?”
“Mhmm,” I confirmed, distracted as I tossed my toiletries into a carry-on and continued packing lingerie and other clothes into my black hardback suitcase. “That would be the one. And since I know about it, she was willing to let me do this. Shocking, I know, since she’s the biggest raging bitch we’ve ever met.”
Callie huffed out a chuckle. “This is true. So, you and Maverick are… good ?"
I zipped up both bags and yanked them off my bed, then glanced around my bedroom to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Chargers, check. Clothes, panties, socks, check. Makeup, hair products, check.
My black silk sheets were a rumpled mess on my bed, my charcoal comforter half on the floor. I knew I’d feel better if I made my bed now, but truthfully, the recent long hours at work recently had wiped all my energy, and this short break with Maverick was exactly what I needed.
“We are,” I told her, wheeling my bags out. “I love how I feel when I’m with him, and he’s everything I’ve been looking for.”
“Oh no.”
“What?”
“I know you,” she muttered. “There’s a ‘but’ in there.”
I groaned. “ But he refuses to come here, so anytime we see each other, it’s because I’m making the trip there. Feels very one-sided, and after everything that happened with Dean, it doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Have you told him?”
I barked out a laugh as I grabbed an apple off the black quartz counters, only to pause and reevaluate my need to eat this morning. Chances are I’d eat on the plane with Mav. “And say what? No, I don’t want to come off as clingy. I don’t know, chula , maybe this is a case of something that burns too hot and fizzles out too quick.”
“Ooooorrrr,” she dragged the word out long and slow, “that’s what you’re telling yourself to get out of a serious commitment with this guy.”
Grimacing, I flicked off all the lights in my apartment and locked up. “There was a time when I was saying this shit to you,” I grumbled into the receiver.
“Where do you think I’ve gleaned this wisdom from, babe?” Her tinkling laugh put a smile on my face. “Besides, all I want is for you to be as happy as I am.”
“I don’t need a man for that,” I snapped playfully.
“I know you don’t. But you know what you do need a man for?”
“What?”
“Getting your back cracked and your vagine eaten like it’s a fucking meal.”
I snorted as I recalled every which way Mav had fucked me the last few weeks. He’d turned me into a sex-craved animal.
“Sadly, that is true.” I hauled my bags into my car and rounded the front. “I should probably apologize for how much I made fun of you and Liam for getting your freak on day in and day out.”
“Apology accepted. But don’t think that excuses you from being a responsible adult by communicating your feelings. He cares about you and deserves to know that you’re unhappy.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll call you when I land.”
“Love you, Soph.”
“Love you, too, you brat.” I disconnected the call with a smile and tried to focus on the workday ahead.
***
I straightened my pens and notes on my desk for the tenth time. Thankfully it was a slow day. I got caught up on my reports, checked all my voicemails, and returned emails. Nothing too interesting, no leads to follow up on that needed my immediate attention since Clemens would be handling my workload in my absence.
But now I was antsy. Whenever I had days like these, I’d go find Callie and get coffee or lunch. Or just hang out. Maybe assist on her cases.
Except she was gone now, living her best life in New York while I was still here doing… what, exactly? The same damn job that wasn’t getting me any closer to my avenging my father’s death or moving up in my career.
It was starting to feel pointless.
Especially with what awaited me across the Hudson: a happier life with a man on the opposite side of law enforcement, where I could reveal my darkest sides and still be accepted, could maybe even work by Maverick’s side—
SOPHIE. Get. It. Together.
Working with Maverick?
Maybe it was sleep deprivation. Maybe it was a lack of food. But something was definitely changing my morals. Loosening them to the point that I was on the edge of unraveling completely.
My cell rang, breaking me out of my reverie in a violent way. I sucked in a breath when I saw the name on my caller ID. “Dean.”
“Sophie,” he breathed in relief. “I’ve been calling you for weeks, and—”
“Yes, I know, and if I wanted to answer, I would have,” I snapped, then winced. He didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of my existential crisis. I rose to my feet, thinking maybe a quick pace around the room would create enough blood flow to improve my mood. A lightheaded rush hit me, forcing me to rock back on my heels. I gripped the edge of my desk.
“Jesus, Soph, I’m just worried about you. I usually hear from you.”
“Ah, yes, you mean when I was a booty call post-breakup?”
“Have I done something? You’re being unreasonably hostile.”
I loosed a breath. “Sorry. Just on edge. I’ve been busy lately, and honestly, Dean? We’re over. It’s time we both move on.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Can I—could we maybe grab lunch sometime? I hear you loud and clear, I just feel like I need to say goodbye once and for all. And there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
My eyes closed as I fought the frustration bubbling up within me. “Sure. I’m going away for the weekend, so maybe next week. Talk then?”
“Y-yes, that would be—”
“Bye, Dean.” I hung up without letting him finish, then tapped my phone to my forehead as I righted myself. The dizziness had faded, thankfully, but the spells were becoming more frequent—the sudden lightheadedness, the way my vision blurred at the edges, the lingering weakness in my limbs afterward. I could push through it for now, but I was starting to wonder how much longer I’d be able to ignore it.
My phone chirped again. Halls was here to take me to Maverick—wherever he was. I was just along for the ride.
The anxious energy twisted in my gut as I grabbed my bags, pausing in front of my full-length mirror to check my appearance. I wore a black top and dark jeans that fit a little looser than they had a few weeks ago. The extra inch on my waist made them almost uncomfortable to wear, but it was nothing my belt—which matched my black heels—couldn’t fix.
I felt… pretty. Thin. I hadn’t felt that way in a long while.
Halls opened the car door for me, then loaded my bags. When he slid into the driver’s seat, I rolled my lips together nervously.
“So… Maverick is still in the city, I’m guessing?”
“Yes ma’am. He’s still working but assured me he’d meet you on the airstrip,” Halls responded.
“Great,” I mumbled, settling in for the long drive.
***
I’d hoped my bad mood would dissipate by the time we reached the private airfield, especially after napping most of the way. Yet here I was, ascending the steps to a gorgeous jet all by myself, which only made me angrier.
The interior of the plane was all black leather and shiny dark accents, with a few rows of single and double seats on both sides. Champagne chilled in an ice bucket, secured beside a table with two chairs flanking each side of it.
A stunning, curvy blonde flight attendant smiled at me as I walked down the aisle, looking perfectly polished and making me feel very not put together. I self-consciously patted my waves. I wished I’d straightened it.
“Ms. Reyes, welcome. Please take a seat and relax as we wait for the rest of Mr. Mercer’s party to join us. Can I get you anything to drink in the meantime?”
I wanted to grumble. To bitch and moan and throw something. But then I had to remind myself that she was not the root of my frustration. I forced out a request for water as I slid into a single seat, not feeling in the mood to sit next to Maverick.
Actually, it was a work trip for him; I just happened to be attending.
Why, so he had an excuse to hang out with me on his territory again?
Ugh, I was being ungrateful for the free vacation I was getting, but I couldn’t help it. I felt batshit crazy. He made me batshit crazy. But where the fuck was this coming from?
The flight attendant placed a water in front of me, followed by a cheese platter. My stomach immediately growled, and I wondered if that was why I was in such a foul mood.
Relenting, I popped a cube of cheese into my mouth, moaning at how fucking rich it was, and texted Callie.
Sophie 7:52 PM
Do I get hangry?
Callie 7:55 PM
…
Sophie 7:55 PM
Is that a yes or a no?
Callie 7:56 PM
I’m scared to answer that question.
Sophie 7:56 PM
Stop being so dramatic.
Callie 7:57 PM
LOL, well in that case, yes you do. Pretty sure you’d kill someone just because you didn’t eat much that day.
Sophie 7:57 PM
Wow.
Callie 8:01 PM
Am I wrong? I once saw you tear into Marcus about not getting you a perp’s address, and when he offered you a homemade cookie, you practically orgasmed eating it and immediately apologized to him.
My fingers hovered over the screen as I read her message again. It set something off inside me, a deep-seated pain that burned a hole in my stomach. Clearly triggered, I set my phone down and pressed a hand to my stomach, feeling the hard muscle, but all my brain could think about was soft skin and—
“Yo, Puff, how much money do you think your daddy spends on fast food every year?” Paulie taunted, a snide grin on his face as he stared at me as though I was just some stranger, not the girl who grew up next door to him.
“Get fucked, Paulie,” I snapped, turning away and staring down at my bag of fries, the burger already gone. Yes, I was eating more these days, but my parents were arguing a lot and well into the night when they thought I’d gone to bed. The oldest of three, I seemed to be the only one who understood the severity of this. And the only thing that brought me comfort was a full stomach, which was getting harder and harder to achieve.
“Aw, are you gonna cry?” Paulie’s sidekick, Hernando, sneered. “Might take a while for any tears to make it over those cheeks of yours.”
Paulie elbowed Hernando. “She’ll probably be hungry again by the time she’s done crying. It’s the most exercise she’s ever gotten.”
Hernando busted out laughing, while I stood there and stewed, swearing that I would get Paulie back for who he’d turned into. I’d have to be sneaky, since his father was my father’s best friend.
Fuck him. I’d make him regret it.
I turned and walked away, hearing him call after me.
“Slow down, Puff, or I might have to break into a jog to catch up to you!”
Ripped from the memory, I stared at the platter of cheese before me, eyes burning with stupid tears. The only thing that satisfied me more than a full stomach now was sex.
Specifically with Maverick.
It was the only thing that satiated me.
And yet he wasn’t here.
He’d tried to help me once and I’d blown him off, but now I wished he’d see there was a serious problem and force me to get help.
I didn’t want to be this way—I hated being this way. I missed food, missed feeling energetic and comfortable in my own skin.
I was barely clearing five hundred calories a day, unless I was with him. And I had no idea what was triggering it, or why I couldn’t stop.
I knew I needed help. I just couldn’t bring myself to reach for it.