CHAPTER FORTY-ONE #2
She seems to have a way of doing that—making people feel comfortable around her. It’s weird to describe, but beneath the glitz, the glamour, and the socialite-appearing lifestyle, Savannah’s outwardly happy energy reminds me of the person I used to be.
Before I was plagued by the loss of my mother. Before the sleep issues and my inability to trust. Before I was forced to spend all my time trying to fight my way back to normal.
Before any of that, I was just like her. Fun, carefree—had more outward confidence than I knew what to do with.
“So, you don’t just want to hook up with him? I mean, not to be crass, but I know the sex is good.”
“Oh gosh…” I sigh. “I don’t know if this is proper cafe conversation.”
She gives me a knowing smirk, pulling a napkin out of the holder and wiping the table down in a methodical motion.
“So sex is part of the hang-up too?” Savannah asks, and I nod. “What are you worried about?”
“Grant has a reputation. One that doesn’t involve girlfriends or anything long-term.
I knew that the first time we hooked up.
” I pause, looking at the ceiling tiles.
“Yet, I’m not built for that. As much as I’d love for him to prove that the sex I had with my ex-boyfriend was the worst of it, I can’t stand that being all it is.
I’m already trying to keep my feelings for him at bay, and the more I keep doing this stuff with him, the more I’m worried about him not feeling the same. ”
Saying the truth out loud feels like unloading a gun.
Savannah leans in again, like she’s about to share a federal secret. “I know you weren’t around to see many of Grant’s hookups, but trust me, if you blinked, you missed them. And I promise you, he never looked at any of them the way he looks at you.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
She holds up a finger, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Before I can even ask what she’s doing, her phone is ringing and on speaker between us.
“Hey, Savvy, what’s up?” A familiar voice asks.
“Is that Braxton?” I mouth, and Savannah nods.
“Hey, quick question,” Savannah replies quickly, making her voice a few octaves higher, trying to sound vulnerable. “Do you think I have any chance with Grant?”
There’s a long sigh on the other side of the line. “Sav…” he trails off, sounding conflicted. “Do you want me to be honest?”
Savannah shoots me a look that says, " Watch this ," before saying, “Always.”
Braxton doesn’t hesitate. “Not a chance in hell.”
I blink, stunned. Savannah grins smugly at me.
“Why?” she asks, although we both know she already knows the answer.
“Because,” Braxton says simply, “he’s already gone for her. Everyone sees it, Savannah. He doesn’t even try to hide it. He’s different with her.”
My stomach twists, and I sit a little straighter in my chair. “Me?” I mouth.
She nods, confirming it.
“Okay, good. I wasn’t being serious, by the way, just proving a point.”
“Oh thank God.” Braxton sounds relieved. “I really thought I was going to have to be the one to break your heart, Sav.”
“Yeah right,” she quickly retorts before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up the phone. “See?” Savannah slides her phone back into her bag with a victorious smirk. “Sometimes you just need outside confirmation.”
I shake my head, trying to play it cool, but I can feel the flush crawling up my neck. “I didn’t ask for confirmation.”
“No,” she says, “but you needed it.”
I wouldn’t admit it, but I really did. “Thank you for that.”
“You can repay me by going to Grant’s house and letting him give you the best orgasm of your life,” she says with a smirk.
I choke on a laugh, nearly spilling what’s left of my drink. “Savannah!”
“What?” she says innocently, though there’s nothing innocent about the gleam in her eyes.
“I’m just saying, there’s nothing to even think about here.
He likes you, you like him. He’s hot, you’re hot.
You’ve already kissed, and he’s made you come.
You obviously want to have sex with him.
” She pauses, then adds, “At least you’ll get the best sex of your life out of it until he gets his head out of his ass. ”
I stare down at the lid of my coffee cup, tracing the edge with my thumb.
“You’re surprisingly good at this, you know?”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been through it enough,” she jokes, making us both laugh.
“Have you thought about becoming a therapist?” I ask her, and she immediately shakes her head.
“Absolutely not. I love psychology, but could you imagine me trying to deal with emotionally distressed people who I’m not friends with? I’d probably get sued.”
“You weren’t friends with me when you stormed in that stadium bathroom,” I point out.
“We had at least met before!” she argues. “And you were different because I went into that knowing you had a good heart, just by the way Grant acted toward you.”
“That’s sweet.” I can’t help but smile.
“Contrary to popular belief, it is a skill I am capable of.”
Her slightly self-deprecating nature reminds me a lot of Meredith in a way, and while I don’t quite know why either of them do it—or whether it’s intentional—it still makes my chest ache.
“So,” she continues with a raised, perfectly shaped brow, “does that mean you’re going to go to his apartment after this, or what?”
I make the decision faster than it takes for my brain to tell me not to. “Yes. It does.”
Savannah’s mouth opens wide, her hands coming to cover her mouth before she smiles excitedly at me. “I’m so happy for you!” She grabs my hand from across the table.
“Thank you for convincing me.”
“Twice,” she adds. “I’ve now convinced you twice. ”
“Okay, okay. So I lost a bit of courage, but this gave me all the confirmation I needed.”
I’ve been so wrapped up in Grant’s vendetta against commitment that I haven’t given myself a moment to think about what I actually want.
Because at the end of the day, I know I trust Grant. He’s shown me that his intentions have been gentle and sincere. He’s proven that he’s a better man than Gage had ever been.
Whether he tells me that he doesn’t want anything more isn’t for me to worry about now.
Grant deserves a chance to figure out his fears, and I’m going to give that to him in the same way he gave me the opportunity to get over my sleeping apprehensions.
“Good. That’s what I was aiming to do. Especially after I grilled Grant and he said nothing about how he rocked your world.”
I shoot her a pointed stare, well aware that her mouth is a loaded cannon equivalent. “We’ll see what happens tonight.”
“I think you should go,” Savannah says, standing up, coffee in one hand while she slings her purse over her shoulder with the other. “You should go now.”
The period of time when I became an overthinker was short-lived. It’s over now.
In fact, I don’t think at all about her suggestion. I just do it.
We rush out of August and Ivy Cafe and toward my apartment building like our lives depend on it. And I know in my heart of hearts, it’s the right decision.