Chapter Eight
I sit at the desk I keep in the small office where we handle all the administrative things that come with running a construction company. There’s a larger warehouse outside the city where we keep equipment, but this space is where we do things like payroll and meeting with potential clients.
And worrying about the fact that I have a board meeting coming up in a few months and half the family is irritated with me because I won’t give them money we don’t have.
Like my cousin, Claire, who sits across from me wearing more designer wear than a single person should own. It’s a mishmash of brands. Chanel bag. Prada shoes. A Dolce and Gabbana jacket. Dior sunglasses. I don’t even want to think about the jewelry. “But the sorority fees are due. What am I supposed to do?”
She’s a college student. I think she’s studying fashion, but what she mostly does is whine.
“You can’t allow Claire to be out on the streets.”
Unfortunately, she knows how to get under my skin since she brought my mother along.
“She won’t,”
I point out. “She’ll be in a dorm, or better yet, she can live at home and commute to school. Her mom lives across the river. It’s literally three subway stops away.”
This brings out a gasp in both my cousin and my mother. Like I’ve asked her to battle her way through a pack of werewolves to get her higher education.
“I stayed in a dorm last semester,”
Claire says. “I’m not doing it again. I need to be in Tau Alpha Kai. It’s for my career.”
“It’s for her career,”
my mother parrots.
Where was she when I wanted to study architecture? She hadn’t cared about the career path I wanted to take. She told me my father didn’t work all his life to have me turn my back on him. “She can be in the sorority and not live in the house. Look, I know our dads used company funds for things like this.”
“It’s called dividends,”
Claire protests. “Daddy used to say it was all our money.”
“Yeah, well all our money is now going to the IRS.”
I’m tired. The last eight days have weighed on me. I tried to get to Banover Place to do some prep, but I’ve been forced to put out fire after fire here at work.
And I got a peek at a European gossip sheet. It had a picture of Reid and Britta in a café in Ralavia. I think it was taken the next day. The paper’s headline said it all. It’s Back On.
I have to see him soon, and I am not looking forward to it.
“I don’t understand,”
my mother says. “This didn’t happen when your father was in charge. When he was in charge everyone got what they needed.”
“Yes, he did it by not paying taxes,”
I reply, though I explained this a million times. “I had to sell equipment to keep us from getting taken over by the government. I had to sell stock. My personal stock. Our aunt now has it. I’m sorry, Claire. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I’ll handle this for you, sis.”
Paul stands in the doorway, wearing a button-down and slacks. He’s in for a client meeting, or at least that’s what he told me. I suspect he’s here to make me look as bad as possible in front of his overly privileged sister. Who has a fifteen percent stake in the company as one of her father’s heirs. Paul had been given more, but they don’t have enough between them to challenge me alone. I’m the majority holder, but there are some other relatives who hold small shares. Luckily most of them understand business. He tried to wrestle control away before, but I held him off.
Still, I’m not fighting this battle today. “Good for you. See, Claire, Paul is going to pay for you to stay in a way overpriced apartment so you can make contacts with the people you drink too much with. All’s well that ends well.”
My mother huffs. “It shouldn’t be like this. Harper, both you and Paul’s educations were paid for by the company disbursements.”
“Would you like to check the accounts, Mom? I can show you where we’re running light on cash. We’ve been undercut by some of the bigger companies recently, and I’m still digging out of the IRS debacle Dad left behind.”
She stands, her shoulders going back. “You should have respect for the dead. Your father ran this company the best way he knew how. So did your uncle.”
“Our parents made sure we always had what we needed.”
Paul has to chime in. “And I wonder if we’re getting undercut or if we’re not making the right impression with new clients.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I have to ask since he’s obviously talking about me. I’m the forward face of the company.
He shrugs. “It means we’ve lost bids, and I don’t think it’s all about money. Make of that what you will. Come on, Claire. Let’s go back to my office and we can talk. I’m not going to make you drop out of school.”
Claire shoots me the nastiest look as she joins her brother. I do not feel bad in any way.
Unfortunately, my mother is still here, and I do feel bad about that. “You are going to break this family if you keep this up. Harper, I didn’t raise you to be unkind.”
“How is it unkind?”
This isn’t an argument I can win since logic means nothing, but I feel compelled to try. “I know you don’t understand, but a lot of what Dad and Uncle Alan did was illegal.”
“How is it illegal to help family?”
my mother asks, all self-righteousness.
“Because it’s company funds and there are rules about it.”
She shakes her head, obviously dismissing me. “We’re a privately held firm. That’s how your father explained it. As long as we made our payroll, the rest of the funds were ours to do what we wanted with. Your father never missed paying his people.”
“No, just the government.”
I don’t understand how she can ignore this point.
My mother waves that away. “Like they deserve anything.”
I’m tired of arguing. “It doesn’t matter. We’re governed by laws, and if we don’t follow them, they can seize everything. The money is not there to keep up the lifestyle Claire has obviously become accustomed to. You love her so much, why aren’t you offering to pay for it yourself?”
My mother frowns. “That’s not my place. I can see you’re going to be unreasonable about this, so I’ll drop it. But you should understand you’re not making friends here. There’s talk about replacing you.”
“If you do that, Paul will have this place in federal hands within two years.”
I need her to understand the ramifications of backing Paul. “If you get the aunts and cousins together and oust me, you might have a year of the old days, but then the company will go under.”
“Well, I suppose I don’t understand business the way you do, but this isn’t how your father did things.”
She appears on the verge of tears. “I don’t understand why things have to change. This is not the life I wanted at all.”
I sigh and sit back, feeling sympathy for her. She hadn’t wanted my father to die and leave her a widow. In her mind, she’d done everything she could to have a comfortable life, including putting up with a philandering husband. “I’m sorry. I wish Dad hadn’t died, but we’re here and I’m doing the best I can.”
“Are you?”
My mother’s anger seems to be bubbling up to the surface. She pretends like everything is fine. Always. It has to boil over at some point, and it looks like it’s headed my way. Naturally. “What I see is you prioritizing those friends of yours. You spent two weeks in Europe.”
“One of my best friends was getting married,”
I point out, knowing it won’t do me any good.
“You didn’t have to be gone for two weeks. You missed so many family events. You made me go alone.”
“Mom, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not well-liked by these people. And I scarcely think my cousins care whether I show up to their kids T-ball games,”
I explain.
My mother’s head shakes. “Well, I care. I care that you don’t seem to want to be a member of this family at all.”
I feel my eyes narrow in anger. “I’ve spent every day of the last two years trying to save this company. I used a good portion of my inheritance to do it. I put myself on the line. Don’t tell me I don’t care about this family because I don’t want to spend every second with a bunch of people who will do nothing but hold their hands out for cash. That’s your thing, Mom. You let them walk all over you.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do when I have a daughter who refuses to do the right thing?”
“Just so we’re clear, what is the right thing?”
I’m pretty sure I know, but I like to give people enough rope.
“You should worry about finding a husband and giving me grandchildren. Have you even thought about what this is like for me? Everyone else has grandbabies. I have to go to every party and coo over their babies and know that I have none. What am I supposed to do with my life, Harper?”
Yup. Exactly what I thought she would say. “Personally, I think you should find a hobby. Or, I don’t know, get a job. Find some meaning that isn’t wrapped up in my vacant womb.”
She stands there for a moment, tears in her eyes. “You don’t care.”
I don’t even know what to say. I’m tired. “I’m not going to live your life, Mom. Serving a man to your own detriment was your thing, not mine.”
She turns and strides out, not bothering to look behind.
“Damn, that was a scene. Is that what it’s like to have a mom? Maybe it was best mine took off for Southern France when I was a baby,”
a familiar voice says. Jeremiah turns, watching my mother walk away.
My day is getting better. “I suppose my admin is taking a break.”
He shrugs as he walks into the office. “Nah. I explained the situation to her and she told me to go on back. I’m charming. I make all the straight girls comfortable. Oddly, the lesbians tend to see through my bullshit.”
I know who I should hire next. “What can I do for you, Jeremiah? Also, what is the situation?”
He walks around, looking at the pictures on the walls. “The sitch is that you and my brother had a moment, and I wanted to find out why you’ve now blocked him. He tried to call you.”
It was an impulse. “Sorry. I’ll reverse that. He needs to be able to get in touch with me. I gave him my personal cell. I only use that for friends. I’ll give him my business number.”
He glances back, giving me a frown. “You’re not friends now? You looked like friends a couple of days ago. Who is this?”
He points to one of the pictures on the wall.
“My father and uncle. Way back when they first started the company. They’re standing in front of the first building they ever broke ground on,”
I explain. “It was built in the seventies. It was an apartment building. They tore it down two years ago for a new high-rise.”
Nothing is permanent. I’ve learned that over the years. That lesson is why Banover Place feels so sacred to me. There’s history. A small part of it mine.
“That’s sad.”
He gestures toward the door. “I’m right? That was your mother?”
“I don’t know anyone else who would yell at me for not pumping out kids.”
He chuckles a bit and takes the seat in front of mine before leaning forward and getting serious. “Was it Britta?”
Well, he gets right to the point. “Are you talking about Reid’s fiancée?”
He groans. “I knew it. I knew she would wreck everything. Harper, they are not engaged and haven’t been in a long time. Over a year.”
“It’s not my business.”
He stares for a moment. “It seemed like it was about to be your business. I can see things. You didn’t go back to our room to talk about design plans.”
His expression softens. “I haven’t seen my brother react like this to a woman in…ever. He is not involved with Britta. Not anymore. Not the way you think he is.”
“Again, it’s not my business.”
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m happy things went down the way they did. I made a fool of myself, but it wasn’t anything lasting. We didn’t go so far that I feel any real shame. I almost feel like I avoided a massive mistake. “We were high off romance and champagne that night. It’s a good thing she showed up because I think there would have been a whole lot of regret in the morning.”
“Not on my brother’s end.”
“Jeremiah, I’m not willing to discuss this with him. Why do you think I would discuss it with you?”
He gives a glowy smile. “Because I’m sweet and sunshiney? Come on, Harper. I’m the guy all the girls talk to. You know I spent most of my high school and college days as someone’s gay bestie. I find myself shockingly alone right now. All my girls have betrayed me by marrying boys and suddenly they move to…I can barely say it…Jersey. They know I can’t walk into Jersey.”
He’s cute, but I have to keep my distance. Although there’s a part of me that wants to connect with him. The truth is I’m the third wheel most of the time. My girls “betrayed”
me by finding themselves amazing men, and now all I have is this job I’m holding on to by a thread, an extended family that thinks I’m an ATM, and a mom who wants to get my baby factory operating so she can pass her delusional love for the patriarchy down to another generation. Maybe I should get a dog. “I’m sorry. I don’t think getting involved with your brother is a good idea. I mean, he’s in European tabloids. I’m not the kind of woman who gets into tabloids.”
“Which is exactly why I like you,”
he mutters under his breath and then sits up straight, obviously deciding on a different tactic. “Can we at least agree that he didn’t lie to you?”
“I never said he did.”
We didn’t talk about whether or not we had partners. I assumed, and we all know where that gets you.
“Can we agree he didn’t lie by omission? He hasn’t seen Britta in months. They broke it off last year, and he had no intention of getting back with her. She showed up at the reception with an old friend who was invited to the wedding. She wasn’t. Apparently the security at the reception wasn’t as tight as the ceremony.”
He’s forgetting the important part. “But she was looking for him.”
Jeremiah sighs and sits back. “She does this to him. She throws some massive fit, breaks things off, and then comes back months later. I’ve often wondered if she does it because she wants to see someone else for a while.”
“So she broke off the engagement.”
He winces like he wishes he hadn’t said something. “He would have broken it off this time. He was planning to. He hadn’t found the right way to do it.”
This is not my fight, and yet I find myself still asking questions. Likely because I can’t stop thinking about the way the man kissed me. Like I was the sweetest thing he’d ever put in his mouth. Like he could do it forever and still want me.
I read too many romance novels.
“How long were they together?”
He stares for a moment like he knows he’s in a mine field and isn’t sure he wants to take that tentative first step. “A few years, and that should tell you something. It’s always been off and on. They had a major fight and he was done, though technically she said the words before he did. I know my brother. He’s not going back.”
I don’t know his brother at all. “Well, he certainly shoved me out fast enough when he knew she was on her way up.”
“He did that to spare you,”
Jeremiah says. “Britta can be…mean is too small a word. Apocalyptic when she wants to be. He didn’t want you in the middle of that fight.”
“Did he think I was too fragile to handle one supermodel? I assure you I had already handled one obnoxious woman for him that night. I could have done it again.”
And honestly, the sex when I was filled with that kind of adrenaline would have been spectacular. I enjoy taking down assholes. It’s a good triumphing over evil thing. Again with the romance novels. I should switch to mysteries or something. At least they would teach me valuable, usable information. Like how to murder my enemies and get away with it.
“I didn’t handle it right. I saw her and I kind of freaked out,”
he admits. “I thought it was over. I know how bad it can get and how Reid can get. Dark. He’s been so much happier lately. I didn’t want him to go back. She can talk him into things.”
Most stunningly gorgeous blondes can do that. It’s good to remember that Reid Dorsey is a man like all the rest. He talks a good game, but in the end he’ll want the sexiest woman he can find. And that is not the woman who walks around with a tool belt on most of the time. I need to get out of this conversation. I need to hold myself apart from Reid, and that means being professional. Maybe this was why their show shut down. Maybe he was so distracted by Britta, he forgot to do his job. Yes, this is what I should actually be worried about. After all, he didn’t exactly send her away. There was a picture of them sitting in a sundrenched café looking awfully comfy the next day.
Did she spend the night with him?
Suspicion is rattling around in my head. Is Jeremiah telling me what he thinks I want to hear so filming goes smoothly? How often does he have to smooth over things for his brother? An unwilling sympathy hits me. I can understand what that means. I watched my uncle walk around after my dad, making sure he didn’t do any permanent damage. It’s hard to be the one who cleans up all the messes. I had to do a bit of that as well. “It’s all okay. I’m not mad. I think it’s good that we didn’t do something we couldn’t take back. We have to work together. It’s always a bad idea to mix business and pleasure.”
His expression falls and he sighs. “I’m not going to get through to you, am I?”
“There’s nothing to get through to.”
I’m not sure exactly what he wants. I’ve told him we’ll work fine together. “It’s all going to be okay. We’ve got a great job coming up, and we’ll have fun. Should we expect Britta to show up on set? If so, we should inform Patrick. He’s going to be running production. Grumpy guy, but good at his job. However, he doesn’t like surprises.”
“Well, I’ll do my level best to ensure there are no surprises.”
Jeremiah stands and straightens his jacket. I can’t help but notice the deep disappointment in his expression. “We’re having a dinner party to welcome Anika and Luca back home. I don’t suppose you want to come? It’s on Friday.”
We start filming Monday. I have a lot of preparations to make. We’re all having dinner at Lydia’s Saturday night, so skipping the Dorsey brothers’ party won’t keep me from seeing my bestie. “Thank you, but I have a lot to do before Monday. Do you know when you’re going to give me the initial designs on the ballroom?”
We’re working our way through the house. I’ve already done some of the more non-interesting work like ensuring the plumbing in the powder room makes it into this century’s standards. The ballroom is our first big project, and Anika wants us to be as organic about the process as we can. So I’m basically walking in Monday and hopefully not discovering anything tragic. But I would like to know what the brothers are thinking.
“I’ll send over the files as soon as they’re ready. He’s working on it right now. He’s kind of burying himself in work. Well, I’ll see you on Monday then.”
He gives me a nod and starts for the door. He’s almost out when he turns and looks my way. “Your mother is wrong, of course.”
“Always.”
But I have questions. “But what specifically are you talking about?”
“Your friends are your family,”
he says quietly. “Those women she thinks you’re wasting your time on when you could be hanging with Cousin Susie or whatever, they’re your sisters. They’re the people you live your life with. They don’t have to share some magical amount of DNA.”
“I find that interesting coming from a man whose best friend is his brother.”
His lips turn up in a rueful grin. “Well, part of it comes from trauma bonding. You survive some of the stuff we have and you kind of cling to the life raft that got you through. I just thought it was interesting that you’re going through something similar to me and Reid. You have parents who didn’t treat you as well as they should have.”
“They weren’t like your father. There wasn’t neglect. Sometimes I wished they weren’t all up in my business.”
At least my mom and dad had been there. Mostly.
And yet when I need advice now and I want some wisdom, I find myself on Lydia Marino’s doorstep. When I need someone to tell me I can do it, Diane has become my go to since therapy taught her all the right words to say.
When I need some cash or a backhanded compliment, I go to CeCe.
“I know. Our parents damage us even when they don’t mean to. It’s inevitable, but you found a family, Harper. You’re a good sister,”
he says. “I enjoyed spending time with your friends, but that’s what I got out of it. You function like a family, and it’s a beautiful thing to be with the people you pick. So when your mother complains you’re not spending time with family, you are. With her behavior, she’s chosen not to be a part of it.”
He sighs. “See you Monday.”
He walks away and I’m left with the desire to ask him to stay, to explain it all to me better because he’s right about one thing. He and Reid felt like they fit with us.
And my mother is choosing to not be a part of my life because she doesn’t understand what it means to be me. I’d kind of like to talk to him about that, too. The last person I talked to about my parents was his brother, and for that moment, I felt like one person in the world truly understood. Naturally it was Reid and it was all a lie.
But I sit and get back to work because I have to deal with my blood family and this business they entrusted me with.
Reid Dorsey will have to wait.