Chapter Twenty-Nine
TWENTY-NINE
HAWK
3 Days Before the Conquest Moon
“What do you mean, you’ll be killed if you’re sent home? You’re the holder’s daughter, the holder’s heir.”
Aspeth grimaces, giving her head a little shake. “What do you know about my father? About Honori Hold?” When I gesture that she should continue, she does, clasping her hands in front of her in a refined pose that looks both natural and utterly rehearsed at the same time. “Honori Hold is one of the oldest holds in the land, one of the original five allotted by the king and the only one still intact. Over the centuries, kings have changed and more holds have come about, but Honori Hold is old and venerable, and we can trace our lineage back to the founding.” She pauses. “And because it is such a very ancient hold, we are broke.”
“Broke?” Of all the things I expected to hear, this isn’t it.
Aspeth nods. “Honori holders are known for their lineage but not their monetary savvy. We’ve prided ourselves on our bloodlines and so Honori heirs have married other holders, but the problem with marrying holders is that their wealth is tied up in artifacts. Consequently, when my father took the lord holder’s seat, he had a great deal of prestige, a great deal of artifacts, and no funds to repair the hold that was falling down around his ears.” She wets her lips with her tongue. “So he decided that the way out was gambling. And since he had no actual money, he sold off artifacts. I’m sure you can see where this is going.”
“Your father sold his family’s birthright?”
Her expression grows tight. “He gambled away the small artifacts at first. Lamps that glowed a certain shade. Mirrors that adjusted your reflection to become more flattering. A bowl that would have endless sugar cubes. Silly things that merchants would love to pay for so they could say they owned an artifact, but nothing that would harm the family’s standing. But gambling is like drinking—no one ever stops drinking with just one glass, yes?”
I think of Magpie, and how many times she’s sworn to stop drinking only to grab the closest bottle and break her promises. With a heavy sigh, I nod. “Aye. It’s a pit that grows deeper with every drop.”
“So it is with gambling.” She moves to sit on the edge of the bed, her posture prim and proper as she speaks of her father and her life at the hold. “Father swore he would give it up. Or he’d promise that his luck would turn around. It was always something, and I’d watch as a favorite lamp would disappear from the drawing room, or an enchanted portrait would vanish.”
“Enchanted portrait?” I ask.
Aspeth makes a soft sound of agreement. “Painted upon wood. Late Prellian portrait of a young man in repose. There was a word of power inscribed upon the back, and using that would allow you to spy upon anyone in the room. It was a truly lovely portrait, too.” Her expression grows wistful. “It was one of the last things my father sold. All the treasures I loved disappeared, and I thought, well, it’s lucky that I’m going to marry the man I adore. Once he’s established as the holder’s heir,because you know a man is valued over a woman”—her words are light but her mouth twists—“I thought maybe my father would listen to him.”
“The man that betrayed you?”
Her expression grows stiff as she tries to hide her hurt. “He told me he loved me. That I was special. Beautiful. That he loved my mind. I was so very dazzled that I wanted to be with him all the time, but propriety wouldn’t allow it. I remember one day he was visiting with a friend, and I had to leave the room. I watched him through the enchanted portrait, just to see what he would say about me. Then I heard the truth. He told his friend that he found me old and ugly and was marrying me only for my title and my estate.” A bitter laugh escapes her. “My title. My estate. It’s ridiculous.”
Even though I’m furious at her, I ache at the pain she must have felt. For all that Aspeth is a holder’s daughter and more powerful than I could ever imagine, there’s a strange vulnerability to her. She trusts too easily, makes her heart too readily available.
She always had everything growing up, except people. Gwenna’s words ring in my thoughts.
“I broke off the engagement once I heard that,” Aspeth says, calm and recovered. “I couldn’t marry Barnabus. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d thought the marriage was transactional the entire time, but he’d made me think it was more. He lied about his reasons for marrying me, and I realized that once we were wedded and he’d cemented his position at my father’s side, I’d be useless to him. He’d find some way to get rid of me so he could marry an heiress with money. If I’m dead, my father has no other heir and no choice but to take my widowed husband, right? So I’m not needed, not after the marriage ceremony. I don’t even need to bother with giving him an heir. There’s no rival to his claim.”
I grunt.
“After that, I decided to assess just what we had left in the hold. A holder is only as strong as his arsenal, of course, and I kept finding more and more evidence that my father was no longer paying his debts, even with the artifacts he wasn’t supposed to be selling.” Her smile grows thin. “I found nothing but our old, depleted defense artifacts, because he can’t sell those. There were also two broken cups that once held liquids, a few useless toys, and a sword that previously had five charges of a word of power that caused quakes. It has no charges left and it’s just a regular sword.” She shrugs. “There was nothing left to defend the keep, and no way to purchase more artifacts. My father’s debts are enormous and even his regular lenders will no longer do business with him. He hasn’t been able to afford sponsoring a guild team for years now, so there’s no hope on that front. So I thought, well, I love everything Old Prell. I can read the language. Perhaps I can join.” She spreads her hands in front of her. “And here I am, trying desperately to keep my head.”
“You don’t know that you’d be killed.”
“Do you remember the Lysium Hold? From twenty years ago?”
Vaguely, but I can’t place it. I shrug, because I don’t keep up with holder politics.
“The neighboring hold was Raderian Hold. Raderian decided that they wanted Lysium’s land and attacked. Lysium Hold didn’t have the force or the artifacts to defend against the bigger hold. The family was put to the sword, right down to the children. The personal staff were executed and many of the people lost their lands and businesses when Raderian attacked. They razed the buildings and annexed the hold as Raderian Secondary. The king fined Raderian Hold for being bad sports and that was it, because there was no one from Lysium Hold left to complain about what had happened.”
“No one did anything ?”
“What are they going to do? The family was dead, the people scattered. The king let the Raderian holders know that he wasn’t happy, but he didn’t act upon it otherwise because Raderian was now very strong and he wanted them as allies instead of enemies.” She gives me a meaningful look through her spectacles, blinking owlishly at me. “I might not know a lot of things, but I know very well the dangers of my situation.”
Brutal, but not surprising. The holders continue to have more and more power every year, it seems. “Maybe no one will find out for a while. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Barnabus already knows I am here. He’s the one I met at the inn.” She idly picks a stray orange cat hair off her sleeve, ignoring the dozens adorning her skirts. “He came to threaten me. He’s the one hiring guild teams to find artifacts at an accelerated pace so he can use them to take over my father’s keep. He doesn’t yet realize that there’s nothing holding him from taking over except for a few grossly underpaid knights who serve my father out of loyalty.”
“Your old fiancé—he’s here ?”
She nods. “Demanded that I marry him.”
Everything in me clenches in anger. That fucking bastard, coming after my wife. Hot fury rushes through me and it takes everything I have not to flip a table—or go out the door to attack a lord holder. “You’re already married,” I grit. “To me .”
“I noticed.” Her tone is dry.
And there’s another thing I don’t understand. Aspeth has a noble bloodline. She could have approached any other holder’s son and suggested an arrangement between them. “Why did you marry me , Aspeth?”
“Because I needed a chaperone—”
I shake my head. “No more lies. Why did you really marry me ? When you should have married a holder’s son?”
She pauses, her gaze fixed on her wrinkled, filthy skirts. She plucks a cat hair from a crease and then flicks it away, her expression melancholy. “All my life, I’ve been who my father expected me to be. I’ve been the dutiful holder’s daughter. I’ve gone to endless parties and weddings. I’ve learned etiquette and sat up in my rooms, alone, when it wasn’t becoming for me to go out and play with other children. I figured being obedient hasn’t worked that well for me so far. I might as well be someone I want to be.” She fixes her gaze on me, determined. “And I want to be part of the guild.”
“Aspeth.”
“And I want to be your wife. I want to do the Conquest Moon with you, just like I promised.” Her cheeks flush pink. “Even if I married strategically, no one would care about me. They just want my title. When you look at me, I feel like you want me …even if you hate the fact that you do.”
I groan, the hunger rising once more. “Aspeth.”
“I know my timing is terrible and you think I’m manipulating you. I’m not. I just…I like it when you touch me. I like talking to you. I like talking to you more than anyone else in this world. And I want more of both.” Her mouth teases up in a sly smile. “If I was truly manipulating you, I’d suck your cock.”
She pauses.
“Though now that I mention it, I really do want to suck your cock. Just like those women in the alley did to those Taurians. Is that wrong?”
I groan, because her words are filthy and yet exactly what I need to hear. This thing between us, it’s gone past a simple transaction. There’s a strange attraction between us. I like her. I like her intelligence and her optimism. I like that she’s utterly frank with what she wants. “I’m not one to be manipulated by my cock.”
She bites her lip. “So that means I can suck it?”
I groan again, scrubbing a hand down my snout and then tugging at the ring in my nose. Of all the ways I’d imagined our conversation going, Aspeth confessing her lies and then asking to suck my cock anyhow was not an option I’d considered. It could absolutely be manipulation. She’s good at hiding her feelings…and yet her cheeks are flushed, her breath escalated. Those things, she can’t hide.
Aspeth gets to her feet. “Like I said, I know my timing is bloody awful. I know I should be thinking of ways to apologize to you and to show you my sincerity, but ever since the alley, I keep thinking about you touching me, and me touching you. I thought about how you put your mouth between my thighs and pleasured me, and when I saw the women in the alley, I realized I could do the same to you. And I see it whenever I close my eyes. It’s a thing regular women do to their husbands, too, isn’t it?”
“Aye,” I say, voice ragged with need. She stands in front of me and I sink my hands into her soft, thick hair. It’s tangled from her recent bath, with just a hint of lingering soap to her scent, but I like it. “You know you could do whatever you liked to me and I’d go along with it.”
“I can?” Her expression brightens.
I nod.
She reaches for the ring in my nose and tugs my face down to hers, then plants a kiss on the end of my nose. “Thank you for trusting me.”
I want to tell her that I don’t. That I’m letting her use me because of the Conquest Moon…but it’s not quite the truth. I want Aspeth. I want her nose kisses and her caresses. I want to bury my muzzle between her thighs and make her come. I want to feel her clenching around my cock, milking my knot with her sweet, tight cunt. I want to hear her laughter, too. I want to hear her talk about Old Prell for hours on end. I want to watch her dote on her ridiculous cat because I know she’s got an incredibly soft heart that needs something to love.
I want to be one of the things she loves.
All of this was a mistake. I know that now. The gods push us in a direction, heedless of the consequences upon our lives, and the Conquest Moon is no different. I should have kept my distance, used her as needed, and moved on with my life. Now I’m too far in.
Now I’m picturing waking up every morning with Aspeth wrapped in my arms. I’m picturing her with more ridiculous cats, just so I can see her smile as she pets them. I’m picturing her with artifacts in her hands, her eyes shining with excitement.
I’m picturing her in my life, as my wife.
It’s a life I can’t have. Not with a holder’s daughter.
I should turn and leave, but I know I won’t. I know that even before she reaches for my cock, her hand eager and hesitant at the same time. She strokes the bulge of my shaft through my clothes, outlining it with her fingers. “I keep forgetting how big you are,” she whispers. “I know Taurians are large, but I forget just how large until I touch you, and then my mouth goes dry.”
Her hand slides lower, and she cups my heavy sac. She looks up at me, her gaze full of questions.
“What is it?” I stroke her cheek, fascinated by the arousal shining in them.
“This is a foolish question, but…I knew a lady who claimed she could take her husband’s balls into her mouth and suck on them both at once. Yet…” She frowns and gives my balls the barest of squeezes. “I don’t think it’s possible. Not when I see this.”
“Not all men are built the same.”
“And Taurians bigger than most?” Her eyes are wide, guileless behind her spectacles.
She’s killing me with her flattery. “We’re built to scale.”
“It’s an impressive scale.” She caresses my sac again, and it feels tight, full to bursting. “May I ask a favor?”
I stiffen, and in that moment, I realize I don’t trust her as much as I want to. It’s disappointing, because I don’t know what she’s going to ask for. “Mmm?”
“I wasn’t wearing my spectacles before when I looked at you. Can I get a second look—a better one this time?”
Oh.
I’m an arse, assuming the worst. “Of course. Just one request.”
“What’s that?”
“Can we get the cat out of the room? I don’t want him staring at me while I do filthy things to my wife.”
Aspeth giggles. “Squeaker is a ‘she’ and she won’t stare at anything, I promise. But yes, we can put her out of the room. I’ll set her a plate of chicken in the kitchen, how’s that?”
I nod, and she trails her hand down my chest as she heads out. Immediately, the fat orange cat waddles after her. I run a hand down my muzzle, trying to compose myself. My thoughts are jumping wildly, and all I know is that if she wants to fool around with my cock, I am absolutely going to let her. Part of me thinks I should leave her untouched, that she should be sent back to her father an innocent virgin.
But then I remember that’s not what she wants, and her father is a fuckwit.
If Aspeth wants to fondle my cock, better mine than some spoiled lordling’s. Better I educate her than someone who won’t give two shits about her feelings or whether she’s enjoying herself.
When she returns, she leans against the door, closing it behind her. Aspeth’s eyes are big and dark behind the lenses, and she looks worried. “What’s wrong?” I ask. “What now?”
“Do you think I’m ugly with them on? The spectacles?” There’s a wariness on her face that tells me she’s been insulted about them in the past.
“I think you are beautiful with or without them, but if you want to take them off so you can shove your nose up against my cock again, you are more than welcome.” I gesture at my groin. “I certainly don’t mind you taking a closer look.”
Her smile returns, and she moves toward me. Her hands go to my chest and she gazes up at my expression, hesitating, and I wonder if she wants to kiss me. But then she presses her face to my chest, her hand sliding back down to my cock, and I forget everything but that squeezing hand exploring my length.
“Can I get you naked?” she asks.
“Of course.” I strip my guild unform off, layer by layer, while she steps back and watches. My waist belt jingles, along with my weapons belt. Then it’s my jacket, my shirt, and pants.
“I guess a Taurian undressing is quicker than a human,” she points out in a nervous, breathless voice. “No boots or socks.”
“I’d look fucking stupid in socks.”
Her giggling takes on a manic edge, and she presses her face to my chest again. She’s nervous, I realize. I don’t think she’s ever taken the lead with a man—human or otherwise—before. I stroke her hair back from her face. She’s still in her guild uniform, still dressed in all the layers the guild demands for proper attire. “Now doesn’t have to be the time, Aspeth. We can do this later, when you’re more comfortable.”
She shakes her head, rubbing her nose against the thicker tuft of hair on my chest. Her fingers curl against my pectorals, and then she’s gliding her mouth over my chest, exploring the lightly furred slabs of muscle with her lips.
I clutch her shoulders, because I feel like I need to put my hands on her somewhere. Anywhere. But I don’t want to distract her, either. She wants to explore me, she gets to explore me. My cock throbs, freed from the confinements of my too-tight pants, and I suspect I’m going to start leaking pre-cum on the floor if this continues…and I don’t fucking care. I’ll leave a trail all over the floor of the entire dorm if it means Aspeth keeps touching me.
Her mouth trails over to my nipple and she kisses it, then pulls back, giggling to herself again. At first I don’t realize what’s so funny, but then she points at her spectacles—in rubbing her face against my chest, she’s smeared the lenses. “Well, now I really can’t see.”
“Clean them off,” I growl. “You deserve to look at everything.”
She shivers, and then pulls the spectacles off, huffs a warm breath on each lens—a shockingly erotic gesture even for this horny bull—and wipes them with a corner of her blouse before demurely tucking it back in. Then she puts her spectacles on again and smiles up at me. “I’ll have to be more careful.”
“Or not.” I wouldn’t mind watching her breathe on them again, because it makes my sac tighten, imagining her doing the same to my skin.
Aspeth bites her lip and trails her hand along my chest to the thicker fur surrounding my cock. Her gaze slides down and she steps back, and then kneels before me to get a better look.
My hands clench into fists.
She tenses immediately at the sight of my hands, sending a worried look up to my face. “Is—is this okay? Me touching you?”
“You know it is. We’re past that, Aspeth. You know I like it when you reach for me.”
“I just want to make sure you’re having fun, too.” Her smile is small, uncertain, and I remind myself that she’s a damned virgin. She’s going to triple-check that everything is all right before venturing forth because she doesn’t have the experience I do.
So I do my best to convince her. “Aspeth, you could tell me about Old Prell pottery for hours and I would be having an amazing time as long as you touch me.” I run a finger around the shell of her ear. Even this is dainty compared to a Taurian’s, and I’m fascinated by it. By everything, if I’m honest with myself. She isn’t the first human woman I’ve been with, but she’s the first one that’s had such a hold on me. The first one I’ve ever obsessed over. The first one I can see myself being mated to long-term. I stroke that fascinating, rounded ear. “Just…touch me.”
She bites her lip and runs her fingers along my cock as if it’s a musical instrument to be played. “I’ve wanted to touch you for a while, actually.”
“By all the gods, why haven’t you, then?”
Her hand stills and she looks up at me. “Because you ran away from me after that night. In the alley.”
I groan at my own stupidity. She’s right. I have been avoiding her. Abandoning Aspeth didn’t help my hunger; it just made it worse. And it let Magpie pull a stupid stunt that nearly got them into trouble. “I’m regretting it now.”
“Me, too.”
With that, she carefully strokes the pads of her fingers down my length again, and then feeds the tip of my cock into her mouth.
Her teeth brush against the sensitive head and I hiss out a warning. “No teeth. Be careful, little bird.”
Aspeth immediately backs off. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, stroking that soft, soft ear. “Don’t apologize. You tell me what you like in bed, and I tell you what I like. It’s what a married couple does.”
Her cheeks flush and she looks up at me through her spectacles. A shy smile plays at her lips and then she reaches out and licks the head as if it’s a treat. “Better?”
Just the sight of that is enough to make a Taurian’s knees buckle. “Beautiful.”
She licks the head of me again and then sucks on it, her plump lips taut, her tongue brushing against the underside of my cock head, and I’ve never felt anything so good. The breath huffs out of me and I resist the urge to stamp my hooves. “Just like that, pretty bird. Feed me into your mouth.” She takes me deeper, and I run my knuckles along her cheek. “Do you taste me? That’s my seed on the head of my cock. The more I drip, the more you taste, the more you know I like it.”
Aspeth makes a muffled little moan, the sound of it vibrating around my cock. I’m probably coating her tongue in my taste, but she doesn’t look upset. She looks…entranced.
“What do I taste like to you?” I ask her, curious. I’ve heard that some humans don’t like to taste a Taurian’s seed because it’s different from a human’s. Stronger, more musky…and there’s more of it.
Her mouth slides off my cock, and my skin is shiny with her saliva. As if she hates to give me up for even a moment, she curls her fingers around the base of my cock and pulls the head in, rubbing it against her wet lips. Her eyes flutter closed, her expression one of fascination. “Like earth…and…and Taurian. Like all the things wild and dangerous underground. Exactly like I’d expect you to taste.” Her tongue flicks out and samples me again. “Like strength.”
“And do you like it?”
Her expression grows soft. “Oh, I do.” Aspeth’s gaze peeks up at me. “I like the feel of you on my tongue, too. The heat of you.” She strokes a finger along one thick vein down my shaft. “You’re so big. You could choke me if I tried to take all of you.”
“Then just take what you can enjoy, little bird.” If it’s nothing but her face rubbing against my cock and her mouth tasting me, I don’t fucking care. I just know I need this moment to go on and on, because the sight of Aspeth with my cock playing near her mouth is making me wild with hunger.
She moans, rubbing my cock against the lower part of her face, mindful of her spectacles, and I get a sudden filthy visual image of coming all over that pretty mouth and on her spectacles, too. Just covering her with my release and making it drip all down her face. Dirtying her. Marking her.
I growl with need. “Take me back into your mouth, Aspeth. Use your lips.”
The tip of her tongue sneaks out again and she licks the divot in the head of my cock. “Will you tell me what to do? How to make you come?”
I manage a grunt. Part of me wants to grab her by her ears and fuck her face raw, but that’s the Conquest Moon speaking through me. I know that she’s a virgin. I know that this is her first time sucking a cock. I have to go slow and not scare her off. “Tap my thigh if it gets to be too much and we can stop, Aspeth. At any time, we can stop. You just let me know.”
She nods, rubbing the head of my cock against her lips again. Her expression is one of bliss. “I like how you feel against my lips, Hawk. Is that strange? Your skin is just so soft and hot here, but everything underneath is so very hard. I could touch you all day.”
Her words send another image flashing through my mind, of Aspeth lazily curled up in bed with me, her hair spilling over my chest as she just rubs my cock against her mouth for hours and hours. My hips jerk automatically, the urge to thrust overwhelming. She gasps in surprise when my cock butts up against her mouth, and then she takes me against her tongue, a soft little whimper in her throat.
“Use your lips,” I pant, watching her with fascinated, hungry eyes. “Tighten them and work me, like I’m fucking your soft, wet mouth.”
She rubs her tongue against the underside of my cock and takes me deeper, gazing up at me with worried eyes.
“You don’t know how it works, sweetheart?” I don’t know where the term of endearment comes from, just that it feels right in this moment. “How I’d fuck you?”
Her cheeks stain pink again and she makes a little noise of protest in her throat. Her mouth is stretched and wet around my cock, and she looks a bit like she’s pinned down by my size, which shouldn’t be nearly as sexy as it is. But watching her work her mouth around my length is fucking…magical.
“You want me to thrust into your mouth? Want me to take control?” I drag my fingers through her thick hair, knotting them in the soft tresses. When she nods eagerly, it’s almost too much for me to take. I groan again, and I have to remind myself that she’s a virgin. To go slow.
I manage a brief, sharp thrust, pushing deeper into her mouth.
She makes a startled sound, and then moans around my cock, her gaze hungry. As if she wants more. I thrust again, making my actions careful and slow this time, and she stretches her jaw to take me. I love it. I push deeper, and when her hands grip my thighs, I guide her head with my hand and begin thrusting, shuttling my cock into her supple, devouring mouth. Her lips are wet and gorgeous, stretched around my cock, and I can’t stop staring at the sight of her taking me.
The need builds inside me, my sac tightening and drawing up as my release nears. I huff breaths through gritted teeth, trying to pace myself, to make this moment last, but there’s no fucking way I’m going to be able to draw this out. Not with Aspeth’s mouth rosy and taut around my shaft. Not with how slick her tongue is and how she rubs it against the underside of my cock. I jerk out of her mouth just before I erupt, breath heaving, and try to compose myself. “Wait—wait. Need a moment.”
“What? Why?” She reaches for me again, and it takes every ounce of my control to pull my bobbing cock away from her hungry grasp. “I want you, Hawk. Please.”
“Don’t want to…surprise you…when I release. It…might be…a lot.”
“But I came against your mouth,” she protests. “I don’t mind if you come inside mine.”
“You sure that’s what you want?” Even though I shouldn’t, I take my hand and guide my cock back to her lips, just to watch them part eagerly for me. I drag the head against her tongue. “You want me to fill up your mouth? Coat your throat with my release?”
She nods, just a little, and opens wider, her trusting gaze fixed on me.
I pump into her mouth again—once, twice, and then I’m on the edge once more. It boils through my veins, threatening to erupt, and I suck in a deep breath. Her tongue rubs against the underside of my cock head and that’s all it takes for me to lose control. I come with a ferocious groan, spilling inside her mouth.
Despite her intentions, Aspeth jerks and immediately draws back, and my seed spills down her lips and chin and splatters across the front of her guild uniform. She coughs, blinking, and swipes at the trails I’ve left behind.
It was too much for her. Too much for a first time. I know this, and I need to apologize because I gave in and did it anyhow. A million words bubble to the surface, but all I can do is squeeze my cock, milking my release and wheezing as another vicious round spurts out of me and splats onto her linen blouse. She tries to catch the last few drops as I shake them loose, her tongue darting out.
She looks wrecked, my poor human virgin. Her hair is in tangles. Her face is decorated with my release, her spectacles smeared once more, and a droplet of cum spattered on the lens. Her cheeks are flushed, and her blouse is sticking to her heaving breasts.
“I’m sorry, Hawk,” she says after a moment. “I’ll do better next time.”
Better? I cup her jaw, wiping some of my seed away with my thumb, and force her to look at me. “Aspeth, you were incredible. If you were any better, you’d suck my soul out through my cock.”
She giggles, just as breathless as I am. “I had fun. I like touching you. I like watching your responses.”
By the bull god, this human is going to be the death of me. Her cheeks are stained pink, and it makes me think of when I’d had her spread before me and naked, because she’d flushed on her tits, too, and it had been the prettiest sight.
Well, I’m of a mind to see that again. I help her to her feet, and then haul her into my arms. She makes a squeal of surprise, and her sticky blouse rubs against my skin. “Wh-what are you doing?”
“Your turn.” I toss her down onto the bed, loving the way her tits jiggle as she bounces. “I’m going to pleasure you.”
She immediately sits up. “Oh, you don’t have to.”
“I know that.” I climb over her. “I want to.”
I pull open her blouse to see that her tits, barely covered by a thin chemise and heaving above her corset, are indeed flushed. I undo her pants and her belt, and then slide a hand inside. She’s wet and slick, a sign that she truly did enjoy touching me, and her heat instantly seems to suck on my fingers. I push into her with two digits, watching her face. “How is that?”
“Full,” she pants. “Very full.”
“Bad full?” I use my thumb to graze against her clit, seeking the small bump through her folds.
When I find it, she jerks, her hands clinging to me. She shakes her head. “Not bad, no. Good. Really good.”
“This is how it’ll feel when I fuck you,” I tell her, pumping my fingers in and out slowly. “Except my cock is much, much bigger.”
Aspeth moans, clinging to me. Her hips move with my hand, as if she’s increasing the friction, and I’m pleased. Gods, everything about her is so, so perfect.
It feels almost too perfect.
Suddenly I’m thinking about her story from earlier. How I’d gone from yelling at her for all of her lies to finger-fucking her because I want to see her come. Am I the one being fooled? Is this all an elaborate ruse on her end? I drive my fingers deeper, watching her response, and then hook them inside her, searching for the rough spot on her inner wall that will make her crazy with need.
Aspeth’s legs jerk just as I find it, and she whimpers, holding tighter to me. “Hawk,” she cries. “I…right there. Yes!”
“You like that?”
“Yes!” Her legs tremble, clasping tight around my hand as I drive into her.
“You wouldn’t lie to me?”
She shakes her head in jerky little motions, even as her nails dig into my biceps. “Oh…oh…”
“And you’re not a spy? Everything you told me earlier was the truth?”
Aspeth tightens. For a moment, I think she’s coming, but then she jerks at my hand, trying to shove it out of her pants. “You…you…fuck you!” She shoves at my chest until my hand is free from her clothing, and then scrambles off the bed. “Th-that’s not what this was about!”
I pretend casualness. “I had to ask. You do have to admit it seems a little too perfect. That all your secrets are found out and yet you somehow still want to suck my cock? Forgive me if I seem a little suspicious.”
Aspeth clutches the sides of her blouse closed, her eyes suspiciously shiny and red under the magnified lenses of her spectacles. “I just…I just wanted to touch you. That’s all. There’s no ulterior motive.”
“Then come here.” I pat the bed, refusing to feel guilt. “I’ll finish you off.”
Her lip curls and she gives me her haughtiest look. “You are disgusting. Now I don’t want you to touch me at all.”
“Because I suspected you? Be fair, Aspeth. You’ve been lying this whole time.”
“It was necessary.” Her mouth flattens and she turns to one of her trunks, pulling out a fresh blouse. “I didn’t enjoy it.”
“But you did enjoy being Sparrow. Admit it. You’ve loved being here. Loved that no one knew who you were.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” She doesn’t turn to look at me, her voice soft. “Just wanting to be part of something greater? Wanting to live the life I’ve dreamed about?” Aspeth shakes her head and switches out her destroyed blouse for a new one. She buttons it in silence and then tucks it into her pants. “I’m going to check on Squeaker—”
“Wait,” I say before she can go out the door. “A question.”
“I’m not a spy.”
“Not that question. A different one. What happens to us after all this?”
Aspeth turns toward me, mouth pulled into a frown. “What do you mean?”
“You get your artifacts for your hold, right? Then what? You head back there and pretend you never married a Taurian? Do you tell your father you married me? Do you give up on your dream of being in the guild?”
Aspeth blinks, considering, and then her shoulders slump. It’s strange, but it feels as if my simple question has left her more defeated than anything else. “I haven’t thought that far ahead, Hawk. Right now I’m just trying to stay alive. To fix things before they can no longer be fixed.” A humorless laugh bubbles up inside her. “I’m just taking it day-to-day. One problem at a time. I’m sorry if that’s not the right answer, but it’s all I’ve got.”
It’s not the right answer, but it’s one I understand. It’s hard to think about the future when the present is an absolute gods-fucked mess. “It’s fine. Go.”
She disappears out into the hall and I flop onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.
I had to ask. I had to.
Still feels like I fucked up, though. Like I broke something fragile with my questions.