Chapter Forty-Six
FORTY-SIX
ASPETH
Post–Conquest Moon
Hawk rubs my hip, drawing little circles into my skin. “I think it’s slowing down,” he murmurs, sounding as exhausted as I am. “I don’t feel as if my skull’s about to burst any longer.”
I smile idly, too tired to move from my spot tucked at his side. Our bodies are joined, his cock still knotted inside me, and I ache. My legs ache. My back aches. My pussy certainly aches. But I still feel good. “Has it been several days? I can’t tell.”
“We’re low on food and water and this place is a mess. I think so.” His hand slides to my pussy and I tense, because even that area feels achy. But he only takes some of the wetness of our mingled juices and drags his fingers through them, then paints my skin as if marking me. “Thank you again.”
“Thank you” feels…strange to hear in this moment. I want to hear words of love, not thanks. “It was our agreement,” I say, trying to keep the vague hurt out of my tone. “I always said I’d do this with you.”
“Aye, you did.” He leans in and rubs his long, broad nose against my temple. “Where are your spectacles? Did I break them?”
“They shattered in the cave-in.” I’m trying not to fret over that because spectacles are expensive, and I don’t have any coin left. I’ve got bigger issues to deal with than broken spectacles. “I’ll manage.”
He tuts. “We’ll get you new ones. I know a Taurian in the city who can put something together for you. We’ll just need to wait for him to come back from the plains.”
He sounds so casual, and that makes my heart ache, especially after that tepid “thank you.” “You make it seem like we have a future together,” I say, tone cheery.
Hawk stills against me. “After all this, you doubt me?”
I immediately feel like an arse. I turn my head, gazing at him. “No, I’m just feeling needy and lost. I…I don’t know what’s going to happen with me, Hawk. I’m a holder’s heir who just got caught stealing from the guild.”
He pulls me tightly against him, hugging me from behind. “I’ll be at your side, no matter what happens, as long as you want me there.”
I wrap my arms around him. “Don’t leave me. Never leave me.”
“As long as you want me there,” he repeats, making it a promise. He rubs his muzzle against my hair again. “But we both know a lady holder shouldn’t be married to a Taurian.”
I know that. I’m trying not to think about that. “I never wanted to be a lady holder anyhow,” I force myself to say lightly. “So they’ll just have to cope.”
He chuckles, nipping my ear. His hips surge against mine, and I realize that the Conquest Moon is upon him again. I hold him tight, and his hand steals to my breast, teasing the nipple and sending tired pleasure skittering through my body.
It feels like eternity has passed when Hawk wakes me from a nap and his eyes are bright gold and not the red that tinted them with every moment of our time in the crypt.
It’s time to go.
I ache and I’m filthy and I want a real night’s sleep, but I’m still not ready to go. I don’t want to face the world outside. Not after what we’ve shared in here. I dress with stiff fingers and try to pull my hair into some semblance of modesty, but I stink of sweat and sex and more sweat and more sex. I’m a wreck, and I’m trying not to think about all the things that I’ve forced out of my mind for the last several days.
“Do you think Squeaker is all right?” I ask, worried. “Do you think the nestmaid fed her? Changed her litter? Petted her?”
“I’m positive,” Hawk reassures me, pulling on his clothes. “Magpie might be self-serving but no one’s going to take their revenge on a cat.”
I hope he’s right. That Gwenna is back—or aware of the situation—and she’ll look after Squeaker for me. My poor cat. No one’s been there to pet her and snuggle her for days. She must be feeling so abandoned. I hate that aspect of guild life—staying away from home for days on end. My cat won’t understand.
Then again, I’m probably going to be booted from the guild, so what does it matter?
I fasten my blouse, wincing at how the buttons have been ripped out by Hawk’s rampaging hands. He was in such a rush—and I was so full of my own plans—that we forgot the most basic need: birth control. There’s no sense in stressing over it now, though. What’s done is done, and if I have a Taurian’s child, I suppose my father won’t oppose my marriage nearly as strongly, will he?
As if he can sense the despairing turn my thoughts are taking, Hawk moves to my side. He takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles. “Aspeth. I can hear you thinking.”
I sigh.
“Whatever comes next, we do it together. Remember?” He kisses my knuckles again. “I love you, little bird.”
I blink up at him in wonder. It’s the first time he’s told me that he cares for me. “I love you, too, Hawk. My husband.”
He smiles down at me, my hand tucked against his muzzle, and for a moment, I’m truly content.
But then it’s time to go. We gather our things and tidy up the crypt. I should be repulsed that we’ve spent the last several days amidst the dead, but it feels like they were watching out for us. That somewhere in the Underworld, the lady with the unpronounceable name and her husband know that I want to keep their rings together, and that if it were up to me, their crypt would remain otherwise untouched. But the guild is the guild, and if there’s a hint of magic to be found, it’ll be torn apart.
At its core, the Royal Artifactual Guild is a guild of tomb robbers. And I don’t know if I have the heart for it. Maybe I never have.
Maybe I was never meant to be Sparrow after all.