6. Jamieson
six
Jamieson
A new town, a new rodeo, and a sort-of new bar.
The honky tonk tunes have my fingers tapping against my jeans and the line dancers are on fire. Me, though? I’m drunk.
“So, where do you stay when you travel for a rodeo?”
Blinking to get my focus back on the cute blonde girl next to me, I bend closer. She’s super tiny. Or maybe I’m a giant. Either way, it’s a long way for words to travel, and I’m not sure how I even heard her question from way down there.
“My buddy and I usually have a camper and stay nearby. Sometimes we do hotels. Depends on our moods. He’s moody, but in a good way.” Some people don’t think that but I do. “Did you know he saved my life?”
Where is Griff, anyway?
“Wow, that’s incredible. I’m glad he saved you. How sad would it be if I didn’t meet you tonight?”
She bats her pretty eyelashes and rests her hand on my stomach. She does that a lot. I imagine it’s because she’s short. What else would she do with her hand?
“Right? I like to meet people, and I can’t do that if I’m dead.”
Unless I’m a ghost. But that might scare people to see a ghost. No, I definitely can’t meet people if I’m dead. I should ask Griff .
“Everything okay over here?”
“Griff!” Throwing my arm over his shoulder, I smile into his scowly face. He always looks constipated when we go out. I wonder if he eats enough fruit? “I was just telling,” motioning to the pretty girl whose name I don’t know, “this beautiful lady, that if I were a ghost, I couldn’t meet people.”
Griff’s gaze darts to the woman, and she smiles at him.
“Is that right?”
She nods, and her hand slips into my back pocket.
“Yeah. He’s full of all kinds of stories.” She sips her beer and stares up at me. “So, are you two at a hotel or your camper this time?”
What an odd thing to ask. We’re at a bar for fun. Our sleeping arrangements aren’t important. “Do you like sea shanties?”
“Uh, sure. Why?” The woman says, but I can tell she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I need Griff.
“Griff!” I shout, but I already have my arm around him. “We need to sing, buddy!”
Griff’s scowl softens, and he shakes his head as he plucks the drink from my hand. He leans in close to my ear. “This girl clearly wants to hook up with you, Jamie. Do you want to?”
Griff’s breath is warm and tickly on my ear, and his hand rests on my forearm. He has nice hands. They’re thick and strong.
“Is it hot in here?” Where did all this sudden sweat come from? It’s like I’m wearing a wool sweater in the middle of July. Not that I’ve ever done that. If I did, I bet it feels like this.
“Are you feeling okay?” Griff’s hand tightens on my arm .
The pretty girl— what the hell is her name again? —squeezes my ass through my jeans pocket and blinks up at me. Right. Griff thinks she wants to hook up.
“Do you want to come home with me?” I blurt.
She licks her lips and presses against me closer. “I thought I was obvious about that. But yeah, I do.” Her gaze cuts to Griff, and she gives him a once-over. “Your friend can join us.”
Griff waits for me to respond, but my brain just went back to the one time in university that Griff and I almost shared the same guy. He was hot, and I know Griff was into him, but once the clothes came off and we were pawing on each other, Griff left. He never told me why.
“My friend doesn’t like to share, and since he’s my ride tonight, I have to decline.”
Wow. That sounds superb for being drunk. Oooh…I just used superb in a sentence.
“Oh.” She steps away from me and eyes up Griff a second time. “I didn’t think…I didn’t know you were with someone. Sorry.”
Without another word, she pats my stomach and leaves me with Griff.
“I would’ve dropped you off and given you a few hours alone, Jamie. You didn’t need to do that for me.”
Throwing my arm over his shoulder, I squeeze him tight.
“I don’t think she likes to sing. Let’s sing Old Black Rum and then get out of here.”
He shakes his head but smiles, and I pump a hand in victory as Griff starts the song.
I join in and sway with him, and a few people around us do too. We all hang our arms over each other’s shoulders and sway like we’re indeed drunken sailors, and I love it. I could do this all night. But when we finally end the song, we added extra choruses to the end because creative embellishment is fun, Griff squeezes my arm again.
“C’mon, Jamie.” He plucks the beer from my hand again and grips my elbow. “If you’re not going home with anyone, let’s go. We have a long drive ahead tomorrow.”
Griff leads me out of the bar, and I see the pretty girl again and wave. Griff stops walking and leans in again. “You sure you don’t want to take her offer without me?”
“Yep! I think I just want a snack and to go to sleep. Sex seems like too much effort right now.”
Griff laughs and shakes his head. “Stop at Subway first, then?”
My stomach growls, and I pat my belly as we step outside the bar. It’s quiet outside, but my ears still ring from the music.
“God, yes. A foot long with all the sauce, Griff. I want that so bad.”
“Jesus, Jamie.” He shakes his head with a huff as we walk to the parking lot around the corner. “I’ll get you your food and no more pop. Drink some water before you go to bed.”
He opens the truck door for me, and I flop into the seat, boneless and happy that my best friend is so good to me.
“I love you, Griff.” My cheeks hurt from smiling at him, and he shakes his head again.
He bats my hands away from the seatbelt and buckles it in correctly. Huh, I guess I had it backward.
“There. Good thing you’re a happy drunk or I’d never do this for you. ”
He starts my truck and checks all the mirrors before pulling out of our spot. He’s so safety-minded. I like that, though. Most times, I don’t think about that stuff. Seatbelts, yes. But other stuff, not so much.
“Remember when we went skating, and you almost punched me when I said I wasn’t gonna wear a helmet?”
In the dim light of the truck cab, Griff’s lips tick up in a smile.
“You were so close to me making good on that threat.”
A loud snort laugh bubbles past my lips, and Griff laughs. This, of course, makes me laugh harder, and before I know it, we’re both wiping tears from our eyes as Griff parks in front of a Subway restaurant and kills the engine.
“Nobody cracks me up like you, Jamie. Do you want to eat in or take it to go?”
Unbuckling my seatbelt—it’s easier than the buckling part—I reach for the door handle. “In. I’m too hungry to wait.” As we pause outside the fast-food place, I grab his arm. “For the record, where would you have punched me if I didn’t put the helmet on?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“I just wanna know.”
Griff doesn’t answer for a beat, and I’m just about to ask again when he breaks the silence.
“Honestly? I wouldn’t have been able to. I was going to tie your laces together so you wouldn’t make it to the ice instead.” Griff opens the door to the restaurant and motions for me to step in. “Get in. I don’t need you waking me up with a grumbling belly in three hours.”
My stomach growls on cue, and I step inside .
The aroma of fresh-baked bread makes my mouth water, and I order my usual. A cold cut combo with everything on it. Like…whatever is under the glass, I want some of it on my sandwich. Except mayo, that would be gross.
Griff carries the tray to a table and stacks two bottles of water in front of me with my sandwich before returning with his own cup of lemon tea and a very tiny sandwich.
“Griff, I need to ask you something. I thought of it earlier, and I forgot.”
He sips his tea before nodding for me to continue. “Sure. What is it?”
He bites into his sandwich, waiting for me to speak, and I have to dig around again to remember what I just remembered I need to ask him. Brains are weird.
“Oh, right. Remember when we took that guy home just before we graduated? You never told me why you left. I thought you liked him.”
Griff pauses mid-bite before ripping off another mouthful.
“I did like him.” He sets his sandwich down and leans back, picking at the lettuce on the wrapper. “Why are you asking now?”
“I dunno. That girl tonight, I guess. I’ve never had a threesome, and it made me think of that night, and I wondered why you backed out.”
Griff drinks his tea and pushes the rest of his sandwich towards me.
“Here, finish mine too, and we can get out of here.”
“Bonus sandwich! You’re the best! ”
After wolfing everything down, I grab the second bottle of water as Griff stands up. I’m really sleepy, and my eyes close as Griff drives us back to the campsite.
I think we were talking about something. Oh well, if it’s important, he’ll bring it up again.
“Jackson! Where are you?”
It’s been one busy week at home, and it seems like I’ve been at Hunter’s ranch every day but have yet to spend any time with him or Jackson.
Finally, Jackson calls from the back of the barn. “I’ll be right there!”
Nobody works as hard as Jackson. He says he doesn’t do rodeo anymore, but he’s been renovating Hunter’s barn to offer rodeo clinics to younger kids who want to learn steer wrestling or team roping, since Hunter used to do that. On top of helping his boyfriend with his event planning business and restarting his hydroponic gardening, the man doesn’t stop.
“Hey, Jamieson. What’s up?”
“Nothing really. Just wanted to take a minute and visit with you. Feels like forever since we’ve talked.”
Jackson tucks his work gloves into his back pocket and motions towards the ranch house. “You’re probably hungry. Let’s go have a bite and catch up. I know it feels like forever, but it’s barely been a month since the kick-off BBQ.”
Jackson bumps me with his shoulder as we walk. “You can admit that you miss me.”
“Of course I can. I do miss you.”
“I miss it some.” Jackson’s beagle cross, Carrot, races across the farmyard towards us, barking the entire way. “Better hold up. She needs to know what we’re doing, or she won’t stop barking.”
The dog stops at our feet, tail wagging so fast she should take flight, and Jackson bends down to scratch her ears.
“It’s just Jamieson and we’re going inside. You know him.” Jackson coos and my heart gets a little squishy watching my friend’s face light up over his dog. “You’re all muddy, though. If you need to keep a watch, it’s from the porch. Hunter will kill me if I let you in like that.”
Carrot barks once in protest and after snuffling all over me and getting more ear scratches, thumps herself down on the porch with a groan.
“The security system is satisfied now. Come on.”
Following Jackson inside Hunter’s place, my jaw drops. “Jackson, what’s going on in here?”
Boxes line the hallway and there’s some stacked in the living room. The familiar pictures on the walls are gone, leaving the holes and faded paint where they once were.
“Ah…it’s not my place to say, but he’s making some changes.”
Jackson moves to the fridge and pulls out a giant bowl. After gathering us smaller bowls, he fills them with soup and pops them in the microwave.
“Tell me about your season so far. You’re doing well?”
Nodding, I watch as Jackson moves around Hunter’s kitchen, fixing us a late afternoon snack.
“Yeah, I am. I could do better, I think. The last rodeo I drew a bull that was kind of shitty, and they didn’t let me re-ride. Griff was so pissed.”
“How’re things with the two of you?”
Jackson places a box of crackers on the table and a glass of iced tea for us both before returning to the microwave.
“We’re good. It’s weird for both of us not having you and Hunter around, but we’re doing okay. We’re talking about a sort of vacation after the next rodeo. You remember the place we got tattoos?”
Jackson nods as he sets a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup in front of me. “Yeah, I do. Little town close to the Manitoba border. Bloomburg, was it? Hunter’s ex lives there.”
“Yeah, that’s the place. I’ve never been a tourist in Ontario, and Griff hasn’t either, so we’re doing a buddies’ trip thing.” Taking a spoonful of soup, Jackson smiles.
“That sounds like fun. I think Riley and I should go away for a while. I just don’t know where yet. My mom and dad said they’d come and watch the dogs for us. I just need to plan it.”
“Downtime is important. You both have so much going on. I’d hate to see either of you burn out.”
“Nah. We’re good that way. We make sure we have down days. Which are currently Mondays. No work for either of us, and we take the dogs somewhere. Last week, we went further up the mountains to a path I’d not been to since I was a kid. You should have seen it, Jamieson. It was a breathtaking view and Riley didn’t even know it existed. ”
Jackson keeps gushing over the hike, Riley, and his dogs. Happiness seeps from his pores as he talks. He was happy enough when we were touring together, but this kind of happy? It’s different.
“I’m really glad it’s all going well for you, man. It’s like you found your place or something.”
Jackson’s spoon scrapes the bottom of his bowl, and he swallows his last mouthful.
“I’ve found peace, I think. Like…rodeo helped me be me. I met Riley because of that and now…” Jackson bites his lip while he pushes a crumb around the table. “I’ve just found a new reason to live. With the dogs. All of it. I’m just super happy, Jamieson.”
I know he is, and I’ll admit I’m jealous. He has everything he ever wanted, and it couldn’t have happened to a better person, but a part of me wants that feeling, too.
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. Now tell me about this trip you’re planning with Griff.”
Jackson moves around the kitchen cleaning up our mess, and I help as best I can. Hunter can be particular about things, so I let Jackson make sure it’s all set. He stuffs a piece of cheese in his shirt pocket as we’re ready to go back outside and pats it.
“Carrot’s reward for being a good girl.”
“You spoil those dogs, don’t you?” I say with a laugh, and Jackson laughs back.
“I don’t even try to hide it.”
Outside, Carrot pops up when she sees us, and Jackson dutifully offers her the cheese, and my chest tightens. I thought maybe he’d wax poetic about missing rodeo or maybe even be prying me for details about guys on the tour. Instead, he’s just…content with his decision.
As we head back to the barn and I help him move more of the equipment around, I wonder if I’ll ever have the contentment Jackson has.
I love riding bulls, but it never makes me feel like he does.
Maybe it’s the being-in-love thing? I’ve never been in love either, so I don’t know. But whatever makes Jackson so carefree and fun is what I want too.
I just don’t know how to get it.