Chapter 8 - Jace
I head back into the bar after my frustrating encounter with those idiots from the past. I’m embarrassed to say I was ever involved with them. The maturity level is scraping the bottom of the barrel with those guys.
But I can’t deny that the frustration didn’t stem from seeing them again; it was because of her.
She’s so timid when facing utter idiots, but then feisty as all hell when she’s facing me. Why? How does that make sense?
“I ordered you another beer,” Miles says when I take my seat next to him at the wide table. There are eight other guys seated around it.
“Why do you look pissed off?” Jacob Sterling asks, furrowing his brows. He is Alpha of the Hazen pack, just west of our territory. Jacob and a lot of the guys seated around this table were on Black Ops training with us.
“No, I’m good,” I say, picking up my fresh, cold beer and taking two long sips. “Don’t you guys feel strange, sitting in a bar drinking a beer like this is normal life?” I chuckle.
Jacob snorts. “You mean the fact that it’s nine pm and we aren’t running drills up sand dunes? Yeah, it’s taking some getting used to being back.”
“It’s fucking quiet, man,” Dexter complains. This entices laughter from the rest of us. Dexter loves the chaos. He lives for it. His twin brother, Axel, Alpha of the New Salem Pack, is the complete opposite.
“I bet you never would’ve left Black Ops if you had the choice,” Miles taunts Dexter.
“Damn straight. That shit flows in your veins and keeps you strong. Life back with the pack is too political. I don’t do well with politics.”
Axel scoffs, a smirk across his face. “You don’t do anything. You’re the worst possible Beta I could have chosen,” he muses, teasing his brother.
“Hey, go chew on a bone, asshole. I’m the best damn Beta any Alpha could ever wish for.
And damn good-looking too,” he grins. His brother can’t argue on this front because they’re twins.
Miles and I both laugh as Axel rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“We both know I’m the sexier twin. And I was born a full eight minutes before you, so I am the oldest, too. ”
“It’s the only reason you got to be Alpha. If it had anything to do with brains or strength, it would undoubtedly have been me,” Dexter grins wider than before, and Axel’s eyes narrow at his brother. “Are you forgetting the Mission of the Seventh Sun?” He says dangerously.
Dexter’s eyes shoot wide.
“Hey now, there’s no reason to be bringing that up,” he scoffs.
“I agree, let’s leave Black Ops in that desert, far, far away,” I lift my beer. “To being home, and …whatever the hell that means,” I grin.
All of them lift their beers and cheer.
Balken and Killian, two Betas from the Thief River Pack, groan at the same time. “Hendrik has turned into a bit of a douchebag since he took up his Alpha position when we got home,” Killian complains.
“Don’t kid yourself, Hendrik was always a douchebag, Miles corrects him.
Balken laughs, pressing his lips together and refusing to badmouth his Alpha, but clearly in agreement.
“And you, Axel? How’s Alpha life treating you?” I ask.
“I haven’t been sworn in yet. The current Alpha is delayed.
I’m going to have to push for it, but I wanted to settle in first, you know.
It’s a strange shift, being back home. It really is quieter.
You have to remind yourself that there aren’t demons right outside the door,” he says quietly, his eyes sharp and piercing.
I nod, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.
Black Ops was a different world. Dangerous, on edge. Exhausting.
“If you move any slower taking that Alpha throne, you’re going to lose it to your younger, better-looking Beta,” Dexter teases.
Dexter is far too reckless to be Alpha material. I’m surprised he’s even a Beta, but I guess being Axel’s twin brother made that one an obvious choice.
“How’s Parker doing?” I ask of the Northwood pack’s Alpha, another shifter who was at Black Ops training with us.
“Parker’s good. He had some shit to do tonight, but he’s happy to be back home,” Damion, his Beta, replies. “His father, Maddox Stone, is keen to step down from the Alpha position. He’s really proud of Parker.”
“My cousin is lucky to have Maddox as his father. He could have had our father, and his life would’ve been very different,” Axel says quietly, lost in thought for a moment.
“I think most of us had fathers who pushed us. Tried to get us to reach our full potential,” I say.
Axel nods. Dexter throws him a tight smile, then changes the subject. “Parker is being sworn in tomorrow night, I think.”
“Awesome,” I say. “I’ll message him to congratulate him.”
Jacob sighs and leans back in his chair.
He glances left and right at his pack, Betas, Matthew, and Phillip, before he looks back to me.
“I’m not technically sworn in either. It’s happening in a few days.
I’ve got a lot of plans and a lot of resistance to those plans.
A lot of those old guys want to keep things too traditional,” he says.
Merker nods, “They’re not accepting the fact that they need to step down. ”
“I have the same problem,” I agree. “Old rituals that need a refresh, old ways that stop the pack from reaching its full potential. I’ve been making changes, though, and so far it’s going well.”
“That’s good to hear. You are the strongest Alpha in the region. I reckon if you lead the way, it’ll make it easier for us to convince our elders as well.”
“Don’t be so sure. Those old bastards are stubborn,” I chuckle.
It’s really good to be sitting around a table talking shit with these guys. Such a contrast to the times we’ve spent together over the past years.
I glance at Miles, who is deep in conversation with Phillip about fated mates. Miles seems to think that it’s not something you should waste your time waiting for, while Phillip is adamant that it’s worth it.
I think back to all the women who made a pass at me over my life.
Then I think about Mira. In fact, through this whole conversation, I haven’t stopped thinking about Mira.
Dammit, that girl is embedded in my thoughts like a snake in my blood. She’s cast spells on me, and it’s distracting me from my duties as Alpha.
I wonder if she’s ok. She didn’t look that great when she left, and she complained about not feeling well.
“Do you want another beer?” Jacob asks, standing up.
“I’m good. Thanks. I’m probably heading out now anyway,” I say. I need to check on Mira.
Axel stands as well. “I’m also heading out. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”
Dexter groans. “Come on, man, stay for one more beer.”
“You stay,” he huffs, “Just don’t be late for tomorrow morning’s pack meeting.”
Dexter lifts his beer and nods.
“Alright, Miles, you coming or catching a lift later?” I say, pushing my empty glass away and standing up.
“I’ll catch a lift later.”
Walking out of the bar toward my car, I can picture her in my mind. It’s as though she’s calling out to me, but not purposefully.
Guilt sits like a thorn in my side. Those assholes really upset her. She was silent, but it was easy to see. And that used to be me. I used to be the one mocking her, saying cruel, untruthful things to her. Fuck, I wonder if I will ever earn her forgiveness for the things I’ve done to her.
I swallow away the lump of agitation in my throat and duck into my car.
I have to apologize. It’s the real reason I left early.
***
Back at the compound, I walk quietly into her little cottage and find her sitting on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around her legs. She looks miserable.
“Mira, you look pale,” I say, concerned, as I sit next to her.
“Please, just go away, Jace,” she huffs.
“Stop being so stubborn,” I growl, reaching out to touch her face. “Your skin is hot. Are you running a fever?” I ask.
She turns her face away from my touch and sighs. “No, it’s not a fever, I just feel….yucky, ok. It’s not our problem.”
“Everything about you is my problem,” I snap, annoyed that she’s so damn stubborn and difficult with me, but won’t even stand up to those weak and pathetic bullies.
“If that’s how you want to put it. You are entirely my problem.
To take care of, to keep safe, to …” my voice trails off, and I clear my throat, surprised that even with her skin flushed and glimmering with perspiration while she’s not feeling well, my body is still bursting with intense need for her.
I force the desire from my thoughts and head to the kitchen.
“Will tea help? Or something to eat?”
She mumbles something that sounds like there’s only one damn thing that will help.
“What?” I huff, “I didn’t hear you.”
“Tea, please, and you can heat up some leftover pasta.”
I dish up a big bowl for both of us. One thing you should never deny a wolf is a hearty bowl of food.
Back in the living room, I sit next to her again, noticing a subtle shift in her scent. It instantly puts Jux on high alert, and I groan silently, telling him to behave himself because she’s not feeling well, and her body is obviously trying to fight the fever she denies having.
“Do you want to watch that new series? Living in Space or whatever it’s called?” I ask.
“Sure, that sounds good,” she agrees, smiling for the first time since I got home. She has the most beautiful smile. I wish she would let me see it more often.
Not that you deserve to see her smile after everything you’ve done to her.
I flick the television on and find the series. It plays, and we eat silently. There is tension between us, an awkwardness I wish I could change.
Halfway through the first episode, the food is finished, and we’re still not speaking. I can’t take it anymore.
“I saw a bunch of guys who were in Black Ops with me. We caught up over a beer tonight,” I tell her, wondering if she’d want to hear about it.
“Oh, that’s pretty cool. How are they all feeling being back home? You guys were gone for so long,” she asks.