Chapter 11 - Mira
He has me locked against him. His arm is across my stomach, and for a moment, I am horribly self-conscious that he can feel how soft I am. My curves and rolls can’t be the prettiest sight for a man who could have had any woman his heart desired.
But Jace doesn’t seem bothered by my size at all. In fact, he seems to be enjoying it, especially when he thrusts into me and my ass ripples at the force of it.
I should be terrified that he half shifted, but I’m not. It only made me wilder with need. His entire form is bigger. The wolves are much bigger than we are. They are much stronger. And even with him half shifted into Jux, I have no idea how I’m not being torn apart by his monstrous cock.
It must be because I’m in heat. My body isn’t in my control anymore, and as his cock grows inside me, I finally understand what knotting means. The harder and thicker it gets, the more pleasure shoots through me.
He thrusts forward, impossibly deeper, impossibly bigger as we both push towards the edge of release.
I shudder, barely able to hold myself together. His fingers are tight around my throat when he pushes my head to the side.
Fangs press against my skin. Instead of pain, I only feel the heat of his breath in the curve of my neck. It makes me shiver in delight. I hold my breath, waiting to feel it. Waiting for the bite.
But when he pushes his canines into me, it isn’t a physical sensation that rushes through me.
It’s deeply spiritual. I see the moon. I see stars and thousands of galaxies glittering around it.
I see centuries and bloodlines, and how a gold thread has woven my existence since the moment my ancestors were born.
I see how long the Moon Goddess has promised me to him.
Our lives. Our souls. Connected deeper than anything words might clumsily try to explain.
At the same time, his cock bulges inside me. So big he can’t move. His teeth sink deeper. Biting harder. My body releases as hot come shoots from him into me. My pussy clamps over his knotted cock, and our bodies become one.
The pleasure is too emotional. Too intense. It brings me to tears and makes me burst out laughing.
Jace growls, low and deep, possessive and yearning.
The orgasm fades, and along with it the visions of a thousand galaxies. Our bodies relax like a soft sigh, and his cock changes as he shifts fully back into himself.
I gasp for a breath of air as understanding rushes into me. What it means to be fated.
And I panic.
I flat-out panic.
No longer distracted by the desperate hormonal intensity of my heat, I’m thinking clearly, and I’m terrified.
Jace senses my panic and pulls out of me as his cock is no longer knotted.
I’m breathing heavily as I wiggle away from him, crawling off the sofa and grabbing my jeans. I try to hold them in front of my very naked body as I back away.
He kneels on the sofa, cocking his head to the side, looking amused and satisfied.
“You ok?” he asks, his voice a husky purr. Still fucking gorgeous and making me feel incredibly insecure because how the fuck is someone that hot going to want to spend their life with someone as soft as me?
“I’m going to shower. Just need to…I’ll be…” I run toward the bathroom.
I step under an ice-cold stream of water and shiver as it rushes over me. My skin coats in goosebumps, and a soft whimper slips from my lips.
“What was that?” I mutter to myself.
Love. Fate. Destiny. Souls across universes. Bound together. It was eternity. Mika speaks in emotions. Explaining everything that I am so redundant to understand.
I clench my jaw and blank my mind. Stop that at once. Stop thinking like that. I scold her. She huffs and stubs her nose in the air, giving me the cold shoulder for being so stubborn.
But I’m not being stubborn.
I’m being real.
Jace was with me today because it is his duty as Alpha to have children. It is his duty to create a bloodline. He was with me because he had to be.
That moment…
That…
Breathe, Mira.
Whatever that was, it was just what it was, and I shouldn’t think about it again.
Jace is the Alpha. He will always put his duty first, and that is what he did tonight.
There is nothing more between us. Nothing more than obligation, and I would be naive and reckless to let myself think otherwise.
Besides, I don’t want anything more either. So fine. We’re even. We’re on the same page.
I shower for a long time, and when I climb out, Jace is busy dealing with a food delivery.
He called to the pack house and had them put together some roast and vegetables for us, along with rice, garlic bread, and chocolate brownies and ice cream for dessert.
Of course, in true wolf style, they bring enough food for seven people.
I guess when the Alpha asks for something, the pack will always go above and beyond what is called for.
Thank goodness, though, because after what just happened, I could finish all of that on my own. Jace smiles and says goodbye as he closes the door behind the two guys who carried the food here.
My stomach growls loudly, and my eyes shoot wide in embarrassment.
He chuckles as he turns toward me.
“Don’t worry, I feel the same,” he muses. He smiles tightly when he sees my tension. “Look, I know you wanted pizza, I heard you talking to Avery, but I couldn’t wait that long, so I had them bring whatever the chef made tonight.”
“Oh, no, that’s perfect, honestly,” I nod.
“You sure? Can I order a pizza for later tonight? I’ve heard about how hungry your wolf can get when you’re in heat,” he offers.
I bite my lip, and Mika lifts her head, perking up at the idea.
Rolling my eyes, I laugh. “Ok, Mika might want pizza later. If not, I’ll just have it for lunch tomorrow.”
It’s hard to be near him after seeing what I saw when he marked me. It’s hard to sit here and not discuss it. I want to ask him if he saw the same thing. Or maybe if he felt it. But I don’t want to sound like a fool.
By the end of dinner, I’ve decided that the best thing to do is to pretend it didn’t even happen.
The pain of my heat cycle is subdued for now. I can finally get through the day without being a raging hormonal lunatic. Focus on your work, keep your head down, stop thinking about whatever that was.
Over the next few days, that’s exactly what I do. My cycle isn’t finished, but for now, I am satisfied.
Jace doesn’t even seem to notice that I’m keeping my distance, which only proves my point to myself. He did his duty with me. Now he’s focused on his pack.
One afternoon, I get a text from my top student, Lila, begging me to please excuse her from class the next day, but to please, please take notes for her, and she promises to catch up and not lag behind.
Worried, I reply and tell her I’ll drop off the lecture notes this evening, and I ask her if she needs anything.
Her reply floods me with anxiety, but also makes me smile.
Lila: I met my fated-mate today. I knew it immediately. He’s taking me out for dinner tonight after his training session, and I might stay at his place if things go well. I can’t think about anything else, I’m so excited!
The anxiety in me isn’t for her. It’s purely my own issues.
Jealousy, maybe. A silly little girl kind of jealousy that she gets to fall in love instead of being pushed onto someone who doesn’t really want her.
Then, at the same time, I scoff at myself because I never wanted love after experiencing rejection.
So what I got is maybe what I needed. Just sex and obligation.
And the freedom to focus on my work instead of stupid love rubbish.
But still, I’m smiling for her.
Me: I’ll come and drop the lesson info off on my way home around six. Where will you be?
Lila: I’ll be at the military training academy in the forest. That’s where I’m meeting him after his training session with the pack this evening.
Me: I’ll see you there. I’m really happy for you, Lila.
***
It’s twenty past six when I hurry into the training area in the forest. It’s open to the wind, rain, and fresh air, and training happens regardless of the weather.
My breath is heavy because I ran from the parking area outside the forest line, worried because I’m later than I said I would be, and I feel bad for making Lila wait.
“Mira!” Lila calls out, waving her hand in the air, grinning at me.
“Lila, sorry I’m late,” I say as I rush toward her, my cheeks flushed and my heart pulsing. I let out a heavy huff of air. Thank goodness my wolf is way fitter than my human form. It’s embarrassing, but it’s because of years of sitting behind the desk working on my creations.
Lila is quite literally glowing with happiness.
She hugs me and gestures to the tall, blonde man standing next to her, his arm wrapped around her waist.
“Hi Fenex, how was training?” I ask, noticing how wide his smile is and how closely he’s holding Lila.
“It was good! He’s working us hard. Whatever Alpha learned in Black Ops has him pushing us to reach our best potential,” he chuckles, glancing toward Jace, who is starting his next class.
I peek around Fenex and see the woman gathering in the training area.
They look eager and full of energy.
“Here are your notes,” I say to Lila, handing her a folder.
“I appreciate this so much. I feel bad for skipping class tomorrow, but…”
“But meeting your Fated mate is a really good reason to celebrate,” I smile. “Don’t worry about it. I know you won’t fall behind. You two have a wonderful night, sorry again that I was a bit later than I said I’d be.”
“It’s no problem at all. Fenex just finished in the locker room anyway,” Lila smiles, snuggling closer to her mate.
“Have fun,” I say again, stepping back to let them go.
“You too, enjoy your evening,” Lila says.
“Bye, Mira,” Fenex says.
I watch them walk away, and that same twinge of jealousy pokes at my thoughts. Silly, girlish jealousy.
Looking back at the training group, my eyes fall onto Jace. Luckiest girl in the pack?
A lot of people would definitely think that. Hottest Alpha as my fated-mate. Becoming Luna. It’s every little girl's dream.
But in reality, it isn’t what it seems.
I sigh and walk over to the seating around the training area, climbing the steps to sit somewhere near the top where I can be out of sight.
But Jace has already spotted me. He spotted me the moment I walked in, and he kept looking in my direction. His expression is neutral, though his focus is on his students.
It’s the class for the Omegas, and the floor is packed with around twenty females.
They’re doing warm-up drills. Jace’s voice booms calm and steady through the open space to guide them. He walks between them, correcting posture with a gentle tap and soft word.
Warm-ups finish, and training starts. The moves they’re practicing look complicated and challenging, but Jace is encouraging them. I listen to his voice, upbeat but stern.
He tells them they are stronger than they think. More capable than they’ve been taught. He tells them that the only thing holding them back now is their own thoughts.
He speaks about limitations as though every single one of them has the capacity to push past them and become whatever they want to be.
Just sitting there, watching, I feel motivated and stronger.
I’m captivated by him. Never before have I heard anyone speaking about Omegas like this. He’s changing everything by giving them this chance, and I have to admit that I’m more than impressed by the progressive changes he’s making in the pack.
He’s an incredible man and a brilliant Alpha.
But that’s the bottom line, though, isn’t it? Everything he’s doing here shows me where his priority lies. His duties come before anything else. His pack comes first to him.
I am only his mate because the magic branded me as such. It isn’t more than that. No matter what, I saw when he claimed me. No matter what I felt.
Sighing, I do my best to quiet my emotions as Mika grumbles at me. She wants so much more than what is possible. She still believes in love. I wish I could ease her heart and make her feel better. Time will help. It will help her understand that it’s just not the way things are meant to be.
I thought I was going to stay for a few minutes to see how the girls were doing in training, but I ended up staying right up until the end.
And by the end of it, I’m so encouraged by what I’ve seen that I’ve convinced myself that I might even be capable of being a better version of myself.
The best version of myself. I am Luna now, after all.
I should be a good role model. Not only in the lab, but also in other ways.
While everyone is finishing up and saying thanks to Jace for the training session, I walk slowly down the steps of the seating area toward him. I wait at the edge of the arena until he’s done.
“Mira,” he smiles, “Did you enjoy the show? The girls are doing so well, don’t you think?”
“They really are. But you are a brilliant leader, so of course they would be,” I smile.
“Are you hungry? I’m starving. What did we arrange for dinner?
” he asks, grabbing his hoodie and throwing it over his shoulder.
He smells of fresh sweat and hard work. A smell that tingles over me, teasing my thoughts.
My heat cycle is starting to agitate me again, but I do my best to push it away from my mind, even if it is challenging.
“Um…T-bone. For dinner. But I wanted to ask you something…” I say, making him pause and raise his brows at me as I force myself to focus on my question, and now the way his muscles ripple when he moves.
“Go ahead,” he says, curious.
“Can you train me? Do you think I would do ok? I came to the one session with Kelsey, and it was really challenging,” I say. “I didn’t do well at all.”
He laughs, amused by my comments.
“Mira, you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. If you want to train, you are more than welcome to train. Three times a week, we start at six thirty in the evening,” he says.
A grin breaks over my face. It feels good to hear that he’s so confident in my abilities, even though I’m not.
“I’ll be here for the next session,” I agree, committing myself as a stir of excitement bubbles in my chest.
I can be a stronger version of myself. I’m looking forward to this new challenge.