Chapter 5 - Renz
When we gathered for the wedding, more than one person in the crowd wore mourning colors.
Spikes of irritation went through me at the sight of them, standing huddled together and looking on as though they were the ones suffering from this arrangement.
I didn’t want my pack pitying me, and they certainly did.
Jasmine didn’t have anything suitable to wear for a wedding, so the others ignored what I suggested, just wearing casual clothes, and had gotten a dress quickly made for her.
It fit her well, a testament to the tailor’s skill.
A creamy color that complemented her coloring, with small flowers sewn onto the train.
Either there was no veil available, or she’d opted not to wear one, her dark hair bouncing down around her shoulders.
She really did look beautiful. At least there was that. Although I didn’t think I’d be any less inclined toward this marriage if she had looked hideous.
The priestess stepped toward us, carrying a small silver goblet in one hand, a long needle in the other. Her nerves from the previous ceremony had calmed. Clearly, she had more experience performing marriages.
As was tradition, the priestess addressed the bride first. “Do you consent?”
Jasmine held out her hand without hesitation. “I, Jasmine Philips, consent to marry the Alphas of Tyrell.”
The priestess pricked her finger, and a drop of blood fell into the cup.
The priestess then moved on to Killian, who stood next to Jasmine.
Killian gave his consent and blood readily, followed by Jace.
Owen was next, and he scowled a moment too long before begrudgingly holding out his hand and saying the words.
On my turn, I held out my hand before the priestess even asked. “I, Renz Hattie, consent to marry Jasmine Philips.”
My blood was added to the goblet. I twined a small bandage around the prick in my finger as the priestess spoke of the blessings of marriage and what our vows to one another meant. For the sake of the pack, I kept my expression smooth, hiding my true feelings.
Owen might be the angriest about this marriage, but I didn’t want it, either.
Over the years, whenever the possibility of the four of us finding a wife came up, I was always the first to oppose it.
I’d never really wanted to marry, despite how unavoidable it had been.
Marriage was too stifling, no matter who it was to.
Even the most charming and amenable woman couldn’t hope to be enough for four men.
Now we were being bound to not only an omega, but to Jasmine. In their eyes, it was perfectly reasonable to wear mourning colors.
It just pissed me off that they could so proudly show off their dislike for this match.
Would they be doing the same thing if we’d taken an Omega mate like I suggested, before all this happened?
I wouldn’t have chosen Jasmine. I didn’t want to marry, but I figured if we had chosen our own mate, expectations would be set before making the decision.
Now, it was too late. I had to marry someone I didn’t like, and instead of showing my true feelings, I had to wear a blank face. I had to remain strong and emotionless for the pack, when all I wanted to do was to punch Owen in the face.
Owen specifically, because he wouldn’t stop bitching about it when we were at the house.
“You are wed,” the priestess declared.
I looked down at the goblet in my hand. I’d been so caught up in my internal pity-party, I’d missed the part where we all drank our blood mixed with…lavender tea again? Why did our pack use lavender tea? Other packs just used water.
Close to me, Jasmine twitched. Her hands kept fluttering over her bodice, as though it was uncomfortable. It shouldn’t be. It looked fantastic on her.
As the marriage ceremony came to a close, Jace addressed the pack. Killian moved closer to Jasmine as Jace spoke, and she grew stiffer with his proximity. It was an observation that nearly made me want to laugh. I bet that hurt his pride.
I turned my face away, reminding myself of my duties.
Days like this, I wasn’t sure how I’d ever gotten roped into this charade.
It wasn’t as though I was a top pick to become one of the alphas; somehow, I’d just ended up falling into the role.
Since my three best friends were perfect picks, I guess the previous alphas figured that I’d be fine.
They’d decided we would be the presumptive next alphas at an early age.
I supposed they figured I’d grow into the role.
Maybe I did, somewhat at least. I still couldn’t help but think if I wasn’t attached to the others, I never would have been chosen.
Sometimes I wondered just how much of a scandal it would cause if I just said no and refused to be an alpha any longer. It would probably cause an irreparable rift between me and the others.
When Jace was finished with his speech, we started a celebration.
The music was loud, the lights dim, and nobody really felt like it was a party.
At first, the four of us stayed close to Jasmine, trying to act like this was a good thing that we all believed in.
A few people approached and gave the expected congratulations, but it quickly became apparent that this wasn’t working.
“Stay here,” Killian told Jasmine. “We’ll go mingle, and you should just stay to the side and try not to look so glum.”
I glanced at her and shook my head slightly. Glum wasn’t the right word. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. Any other woman would have found it an honor to be married to the four alphas.
With another shake of my head, I slunk to one side, trying to avoid attention.
A headache pounded at the back of my skull, and my wolf was tense and irritable.
What we’d both like to do was just go back home, pound a few beers, and watch a football game.
Not that I particularly enjoyed beer or football, but it seemed like a pleasant enough distraction.
Or maybe a run.
From my vantage point, I saw that when Jasmine, watching Killian, stood up. Her gaze darted around, finding both Jace and Owen; seeing them distracted, she gathered her skirt in her arms and hurried into the old college. I hesitated, then followed after her.
It was an excuse to get away from the crowd, at least.
I had just stepped inside when laughter met my ears. Not the joyous type, but the mocking, derisive type. My jaw tightened, and I walked swiftly.
“The Goddess only picked you because you’re replaceable. They only needed a placeholder wife to remind them of how united they’ll be,” a voice said.
I rounded the first corner to find the famed Alpha Fuckers standing in a tight half-circle in front of Jasmine. They were a group of women who prided themselves on running around the valley towns to seduce alphas. I’d enjoyed them myself once, and I wasn’t ashamed of it. They knew their stuff.
Now, though, hearing their spiteful words, my wolf growled.
“I’ll bet as soon as you’ve popped out a kid or two, the Goddess will return and annul the marriage,” one of them was saying.
I strode up to Jasmine’s side. “What is going on here?” The women all wore mourning black. As one of them batted her lashes, I found I didn’t care about their excuses. “You were bullying my wife. Disrespecting me and my fellow alphas.”
The woman who batted her eyes faltered, uncertain. “Alpha, we didn’t mean—”
“Doesn’t matter what you meant. The only people allowed to bully Jasmine are her husbands,” I said flatly.
The women frowned. Jasmine flinched. I ignored their reactions.
For the last few years, I’d been too preoccupied with my own life and the suffocating duties of being an alpha to think much about Jasmine.
Even when I saw her in town, I didn’t care to think much about her.
It was hard enough keeping up the pretense that I knew what I was doing.
Everyone saw me as the rebellious alpha, but if they knew how much I tamped down on those impulses, they’d admire my restraint.
“Go away,” I told the group of women, tired of the way they were still gawking at me. I probably should have worded my reproach better. Now that she was our wife, we really shouldn’t bully her anymore.
The thing was, I couldn’t make that promise. Especially when it came to Owen. I’d give it my best shot to try to be accepting and not take out my frustrations on her, but Jasmine Philips had always just been so…frustrating.
The group of women scampered off, looking just as determined as ever. I glared at them, then turned to Jasmine. She stared at the floor, the dress hugging her curves, looking strangely vulnerable and resigned.
“I don’t want to go back to that party,” I said, because there wasn’t anything else to say.
She let out a small sigh. “I don’t, either. Everyone keeps staring at me like I’m going to cut your throats tonight.”
I snorted softly. “Let’s leave, then.”
“Owen will think I’m off planting bombs throughout the town,” Jasmine responded dryly.
I snorted again, amused. “So? You can blame it on me. Tell them that I dragged you away and insisted that you come on a run with me.”
Jasmine’s head jerked up. “A run?”
The idea formed perfectly in my mind. It would release some of this excess energy, as well as give me a chance to observe her more. We shifters were more natural in our wolf form, at least in my experience. We could run freer, behave more like ourselves.
Yes, going on a run would be perfect. I didn’t even know what Jasmine’s wolf form looked like, and I found myself eager to see it.
“I don’t run,” Jasmine said, gesturing to her wedding dress.
“We’ll shift,” I said confidently. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone out into the forest just to have fun.
Nighttime is always the most exciting time for it, too.
And if you think about it, it will make Owen stop being so paranoid, too.
He can’t expect you to report your every move to him, and when he sees that nothing bad happens when you’re out of his sight, he’ll loosen up. ”
To my surprise, she flushed and shook her head. “I can’t shift in front of you.”
“Why not?”
Her shoulders hunched inward, and she looked at the floor. “Because. I can’t. Besides, I’d only slow you down. I’m not much of a runner, no matter what form I’m in.”
I moved closer, frowning. “What do you mean by that?”
She closed her eyes, as though she was deciding whether or not I was mocking her.
“You do shift, don’t you?”
She lifted one shoulder and let it drop.
Frowning, I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the corridor, away from the party. She trailed after me, occasionally tugging her hand back like she was trying to escape me but couldn’t quite make herself pull all the way away.
Finally, we emerged from the building on the other side. I started to make our way toward the forest, more determined than ever. “Why don’t you shift?”
“I do. Just not in front of other people anymore,” she mumbled.
The old college was close to the forest, which was one of the reasons why my fellow alphas and I had originally decided to move here. It wasn’t long before we were in the first sparse trees.
“Why don’t you shift in front of other people?” I asked, letting go of her hand now.
The waning moon above was still nearly full, and with the clear night, there was enough silvery light to see her by. Her hands clenched into fists as her jaw worked.
“I’m fat,” she finally said. “I’m fat in human form, and I’m fat in wolf form. I can’t run, I don’t have the endurance, and whenever anyone sees me shift, they always end up mocking and laughing at me.”
I frowned at her. “You’re the alphas’ wife now. You can’t let your insecurities rule you.”
“Insecurities. Right. Because when people literally called me a pig-wolf and left grotesque drawings of me in my work locker, it was my fault for being upset. I should just not have feelings,” she snapped back.
Her arms dropped to her sides, and she looked like she wanted to say more, but instead, she clamped her jaw tightly shut.
“Way to twist my words.”
“Nothing has changed about the way people see me. Especially not you and the other alphas. I’m sorry that I’m not confident enough after being harassed and bullied by you my entire life,” Jasmine said, stepping forward.
Her words hit me in the stomach. My bullying. I’d always considered myself to be more of a bystander, someone who watched Owen do the bullying. But I suppose to her it wouldn’t make much of a difference. I frowned at her, shaking my head slightly.
“People will see you differently now. The Goddess declared we were to be married, and now we are. It will be disrespectful to her and us—"
“But not me. And that’s the point. Has it occurred to you that I’m an actual person? That maybe I deserve to be treated like a person because I am one, and not because I’ve been forced to marry you?”
“Hey, we were forced into this marriage, too!” I protested.
Jasmine’s face flushed, and she looked like she wanted to hit me.
Her voice was so thick with sarcasm that they needed to invent a new word to describe just how sarcastic she was being.
“I’m so very sorry that the way the Goddess forced you to marry me—by the way, I saw how much you were scowling all through the wedding ceremony—doesn’t make me want to trust you. ”
My wolf’s ears pricked up in excitement. It had been a long time since someone challenged me like this. And her words struck a chord. I might not have been bullied, but as she spoke, it reminded me of just how much she didn’t fit in with this pack.
Just like me.
I stepped closer, so close that our bodies were almost brushing. And I grinned at her. “Shift. Your alpha commands you.”