Chapter 3 #2
Bull jerked his head up and caught her winking at him. Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to appear disapproving and not like he’d give Malcolm all the steak in the walk-in if it made him feel better.
On her way past him, she patted his arm and threw a glance at Malcolm, whispering, “Sit with him a minute, okay?”
He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. All he could do was nod, not sure what kind of comfort he could offer but willing to at least stay with Malcolm so he wasn’t alone. Before walking away, she gave him a knowing look that had him starting to sweat all over again.
He stared at her retreating back, heart beating in his throat. She couldn’t know , could she? Only his family knew about his inconvenient feelings.
Right?
Shoving aside the horrifying thought, he moved into the office, leaving the door cracked open.
The space was so small he didn’t want Malcolm to feel crowded by his bulk.
He turned one of the chairs facing the desk toward the couch and slowly lowered himself.
He tucked his legs as close to himself as he comfortably could and hunched his shoulders a bit, doing what he could to shrink down into a less intimidating size.
Then he cleared his throat, unsure what he should say.
“Oh god,” Malcolm muttered, wiping the evidence of his tears on his dark jeans. Raising his head, he lowered his feet and avoided Bull’s gaze. “We don’t have to do this. I’m sorry I bothered Lia during her shift. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“Stop.” Bull held up a hand, frowning and studying Malcolm’s face. Where had that come from? “Do you… think I’m upset?”
That got Malcolm to glance at him for a second before he darted his eyes away again. “You’re scowling pretty fiercely, but your tone suggested you’re not. It’s kind of confusing, honestly.”
Bull snorted at that clear-cut assessment.
Scrubbing at his face, he tried to erase whatever expression he was making and to find the right words inside his brain while it still insisted he should just scoop Malcolm into his arms and hold him.
“I’m not upset you came here when you were hurting.
I guess I am upset, though, because I don’t like that something…
” He swallowed, forcing the words out and ignoring the heat in his cheeks.
“That something bad happened to you.” When that didn’t feel like enough, he ducked, finding Malcolm’s gaze.
“This place will always be a safe space for you and everyone else who works here. I’m glad you know that. ”
Malcolm’s chin wobbled. “I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to me at one time.”
He leaned back to give him more space and shrugged. “This is important.”
“Thanks, Bull.” Malcolm gave him a soft smile, sniffing wetly.
Bull’s heart and dick were in conflict about how to feel about a gently smiling Malcolm with big, wet eyes.
Fuck, they were so blue, like Lake Michigan on a perfect summer day.
Licking at his dry lips, he snagged the tissue box from his mom’s desk and offered it to Malcolm.
His voice was a little rougher when he said, “No need to thank me.”
After blowing his nose and cleaning himself up a bit, Malcolm scrunched up his face. “Well, that was embarrassing. I should go.”
“Malcolm…” He should just let him leave, and both of them could pretend it had never happened. But there was something about the quiet intimacy of his mom’s office that was pushing at him, urging him to offer more than a few kind words and tissues.
But what could he even say?
Tell me who hurt you so I can handle it?
Let me show you how well I could take care of you?
Would a blowjob help?
Pushing to his feet, Malcolm was stepping past him when Bull blurted out, “Do you want to go to a party?”
Malcolm frowned, then pivoted to face him. One step forward and he’d be straddling Bull’s leg. Not that he was thinking about that. Because that would be highly inappropriate.
He ran his eyes up the length of Malcolm’s jean-clad legs and slim chest, unable to help himself. He was dressed nicely, his pants a little tighter than what he normally wore to work, and his brown-and-blue, horizontally striped shirt was like a second skin, showing off just a hint of collarbone.
Fuck, he looked good.
“Right now?” Malcolm’s delicate brows furrowed adorably.
What? Oh, right, he’d just stupidly offered to take Malcolm to a party. At the Devil’s Hands Motorcycle Club’s clubhouse. Where they apparently threw the occasional sex party, and he still wasn’t sure that wasn’t what was happening that weekend.
“Uh, no.” Bull scratched at his bearded jaw, wishing there was enough space for him to stand, too, so he could put some space between them.
He glanced at his lap. Yeah, never mind.
Sitting was good. “This weekend. It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he added quickly.
“I just… I know you’ve been sad and having a hard time lately.
” He shrugged awkwardly, not sure why Malcolm was staring at him so intently.
“I thought you could use some fun, is all.”
A thick silence fell over them, an unfamiliar tension seeping in.
Instead of shrinking away from it, Bull sat up straighter, marveling at how he was nearly as tall as Malcolm while seated.
This wasn’t him shooting his shot, but it was him doing what he could to take care of the man he cared about, no matter that Malcolm could never return the feelings.
Holding Malcolm’s beautiful eyes, he did his best to project confidence.
If Malcolm trusted him with this, he’d make sure he had a good time.
“Yeah, okay,” Malcolm said slowly, voice soft. “I’m in.”
“Hey.”
“Oh, so you are alive,” Bull snarked, cradling his phone between his ear and shoulder as he pushed open his front door.
He’d forgotten to leave the porch light on when he left for work, so he’d fumbled with the lock for longer than he’d be admitting as he listened to his brother’s phone ring.
Add to that he was exhausted, had to deal with idiots at the grocery store who couldn’t count how many items were in their cart and insisted on using the express checkout, and the new dishwasher had broken an entire tray of dishes, and yeah, he was in a bit of a mood.
Oh, and he’d made a jackass out of himself by inviting Malcolm to an MC party Bull hadn’t even technically been invited to.
“Jesus, you sound like Mom,” Marv said dryly.
“Fuck off. I’ve been texting you for a damn week, and you’ve either left me on read or given a one-word response.” Bull grabbed the handles of his cloth grocery bags and headed inside, kicking the door shut behind him.
Marv sighed. “I’ve been busy. The summer camp opens in a few weeks and needed last-minute renovations, so I’ve been juggling overseeing that with my regular shit.”
“I thought Tomas hired someone to handle camp? That guy quit already?” Bull had heard all about the new hire and how Marv hadn’t wanted the MC’s president to bring in someone to be the camp’s activities director when he’d been at his brother’s a few weeks ago, helping him lay tile in one of his bathrooms.
Marv snorted. “No, he’s still there. He’s who I’m keeping an eye on.”
There was something in his brother’s voice… A grin began to spread across his face, his bad mood already lightening. “Do you like this guy? Are you stalking him at camp? Should I be worried someone’s going to call the cops on you?”
“Shut up, asshole.”
Bull laughed, setting to work putting away his groceries. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I’m going to hang up.”
“Hold on,” Bull said in a hurry but still grinning to himself at the idea of clothes-whore Marv crouching in bushes to spy on the new summer camp director. “I need your rational brain because I did something completely irrational.”
After putting the milk away, he paused, trying to figure out what noise he was hearing.
It was like a soft thumping. He spun in a circle, but nothing was moving in his kitchen or the living room on the other side of his large island.
The sound stopped as he stepped over and turned on the lamp next to the couch.
“You told Mom to set you up on a date?” Marv asked, bringing him back to the conversation.
“Very funny.” He wandered back into the kitchen, resuming his unpacking. “I assume she told you about her offer?”
“Probably the second after she made it.” The smile was easily detectable in his voice, the jerk not even trying to hide how funny he found Bull’s predicament.
He knew he shouldn’t have put the idea out in the universe, but he’d honestly been worried she’d set something up for at the MC’s party.
Of course, after denying having done that, she immediately offered, claiming to know a lot of men who’d love to go out with him.
He didn’t want to know where she was finding all these supposed men who were chomping at the bit to date him.
Maybe he should ask Ma if Mom had made a dating app profile or something. Though he couldn’t see Ma just going along with such a terrible idea.
“That’s not what I need advice about, no.” The soft thumping sound started again. It seemed to be coming from the living room. “I sort of asked a straight guy on a date. Except it’s not a date. But… it kind of sounded like it was when I offered, I think.”
Marv didn’t say anything for a second. “I don’t know what you just said.”
Exhaling roughly, he quickly shared a little about Malcolm’s issues with dating and then explained what had happened in the office.
There was another long silence after he finished, which let him hear the noise again.
It was definitely coming from outside his sliding glass door.
He shoved the drapes aside, but with the lights on inside and the darkness outside, he couldn’t see what was causing it.
“You’re sure he’s straight?” Marv asked.
“Yup. Well, as sure as I can be.”
“Then it’s not a date,” Marv said, using his big brother voice. “It’s just two friends hanging out. Don’t let yourself think otherwise, or you’ll just end up heartbroken. Trust me.”
“Yeah,” Bull said slowly, letting out a quiet breath. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”
Because he’d known that was the truth. As much as he might want it to be a date, Malcolm didn’t want that. Couldn’t want that. It wasn’t his fault any more than it was Bull’s that he’d developed feelings for him. He just needed to make sure he didn’t make things awkward between them that weekend.
He flicked on the switch to the back patio light just as there was another soft thump and found a fluffy gray cat with white on its chest and paws headbutting the glass door.
Huh.
“I wasn’t going to go to the party, but I can come if you want,” Marv said with a shrug in his voice. “I was just going to get caught up on this audit I’m behind on.”
Bull stared into the brilliant blue eyes of the cat as it sat and gazed right back at him. Just waiting. Now that it had Bull’s attention, the small creature seemed perfectly content to just sit there while Bull got with the program.
Though… he wasn’t sure what that meant. And he was trying really hard not to focus on how the first thing he’d noticed was that the cat’s eyes weren’t quite as dark a blue as Malcolm’s.
God, he had problems.
Clearing his throat, he turned and headed back to the kitchen, grabbing a can of tuna from the cupboard. “No, that’s okay. He’ll probably back out of going once he has time to come up with an excuse, and then I’ll just hang out at home.”
“You should still go even if he doesn’t. Mom’s not wrong that it’d be a good place for you to meet someone.” Marv paused, then added, “Which it sounds like you need to. Getting hung up on straight boys isn’t your style.”
It wasn’t. Unlike some guys he’d known, he’d never understood the desire to bag a guy who wasn’t interested in his gender. He’d never desired the thrill of attaining the unattainable. And he still didn’t. His feelings for Malcolm were inconvenient, but he wasn’t going to act on them.
Unlocking the sliding glass door, he said, “Yeah, maybe. What’s the party for anyway?”
Marv chuckled. “Does the club need a reason to have a party?”
“Fair enough.”
“Though I think it’s one of Tomas’s boys’ birthdays. I think.”
“You don’t know?” Bull shook his head in mock disapproval as he slipped outside, his stomach dipping when the cat scampered half a dozen feet away, but then it stopped. He held perfectly still, never more aware of his size than in that moment. “Shameful.”
“Fuck off. I’m really hanging up this time.”
He slowly lowered the open can to the ground, trying not to startle the poor thing again. To his shock and no small amount of delight, the fluffy creature slowly crept back over, nose leading the way. “Yeah, I should go. Thanks for… you know.”
Marv sighed into the phone. “Protect that big heart of yours, little brother.”
“I will,” he lied.
It was already too late.