17. Chapter 17 – Tamen
Chapter 17 – Tamen
“S ir, do you have a reservation?”
The host called out to me as I walked through the front doors of the restaurant I tracked Sloane to. “Don’t be a cunt.” I threw over my shoulder at him and continued on.
I didn’t know where she was, but she was here and I was going to find her.
And then I was going to drag her out by her pretty rainbow hair and get her as far away from my sisters-in-law as possible. If I didn’t, then I’d lose my spot in our family. She’d take it right out from under me.
“Ah, took you far longer than I thought it would.” A female voice called out from my side and I glared at Peyton, where she leaned up against the bar. I stopped, looking around for the other two cohorts in the ‘Piss Tamen Off’ plan of hers. “I’m almost surprised you weren’t here in mere minutes.”
Putting my hands on my hips, I glared at her deeper, “I was hunting.”
Her eyes flicked to the crowd of customers around us before nodding her head for me to join her at the bar. She had a glass of wine in front of her and leaned her elbow on the bar top as I gave in and stood in front of her. “Who were you hunting?”
“Does it matter?” I snapped.
Her green eyes rounded slightly, but not in fear. Peyton didn’t fear me, she was probably the only woman out there that didn’t on occasion. Well, not since I broke into her guest house, unknowingly.
“It does.” She tipped her head back, staring down her nose at me. “Dane says you’ve been quite preoccupied with hunting lately.” She watched me closely, “He said he hasn’t seen you this busy since right after Harlow House.”
I rolled my eyes and looked at the bartender as he came up to us. “Scotch. Top shelf.” He turned away to pour my drink, and I looked back to Peyton. “Has he finally divulged his secrets to you about Harlow House?” Her teeth bit into her lip as anger flared in her eyes, but nothing else outwardly gave away her true feelings about Dane’s inability to tell her about his childhood. Yeah, well, like hell were we going to talk about my past if he would not talk about his. “Didn’t think so.”
“You slept with Sloane.” She countered, and my skin prickled with anxiety as I stared down at the closest thing to a female family member I had in decades. Did she know the depth of that story, or just the surface level information about it?
“Are you suddenly interested in who I fuck?” I argued, “Is Dane not entertaining you at Hartington and now you need to fill your entertainment with my dick?”
“Knock it off.” She hissed, leveling her finger at me as the bartender laid my drink down. My stomach rolled at her anger, hating that I took the low blow to begin with. Sighing, she took a drink from her wine as I did the same off my scotch. “What’s different about her? And before you try to tell me there isn’t, just don’t. Because I’m not an idiot, and I know that you’ve retreated to darkness to deal with something emotional. Even Dane and Maddox have noticed how often you’ve worked jobs lately. And it all started right after you took over Prism.”
“It’s an expensive take over.” I brushed it all off, making excuses already paraphrased in my head. “The extra income helps with the remodel.”
She stared at me for so long I had to look away. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever lied straight to my face.”
Something akin to pain crossed her green irises before she blinked it away and looked out over the crowd. But I remained silent, because she was right. It had been a lie.
Everything felt like a lie.
Finally, I gave in, “I—tricked her.” Sighing, I went on, “Into bed.”
Peyton’s eyebrows rose slightly as she took another sip of wine. “I thought you were irresistible to women everywhere. Why’d you have to trick her?”
I scoffed and cracked my neck. “Because she hates me as much as I hate her.”
“But the chemistry doesn’t care.”
“Nope.” I let a big breath out. “But it doesn’t matter. Because it can’t happen again. It won’t.”
“Why?” She questioned, “I can tell just by looking at the two of you that it wasn’t as if the sex was bad. So, what else is it?”
Finally, I held her stare, even if it made my skin crawl to do so. I hated eye contact. I found it incredibly frustrating how effortlessly I picked up on the subtle nuances of other people’s emotions, a silent language written in the depths of their eyes, their vulnerability a burden I couldn’t escape. But for P, I’d endure. “Because I’m me. And I’ve never been safe to be around.”
“You’re around us and we’re just fine.” She countered instantly, almost like she believed that.
Scoffing, I tipped back the rest of my drink, swallowing down the expensive liquor that deserved to be sipped. “None of you have left my presence without scars. Ever. Every single one of you bears the mark of my curse.”
“What is your curse?” She leaned in, intending to get the information out of me I swore I’d take to my grave.
A flash of color caught my eye over her head, and I pinpointed Sloane, where she walked around the corner with her arm twined with Liv’s, laughing together. Every head in the restaurant turned to the melodic sound of her laugh, entranced by it, just like I was.
“I chose this life.” Although I kept staring at Sloane, I replied to Peyton. “I chose the darkness, I walked into it willingly and never thought twice about the consequences.”
“How is that a curse?” She asked, and I glanced down at her for a second before my body involuntarily went back to staring at Sloane.
“I can’t un-choose it. I can’t go back, and I can’t get out. The darkness owns me because when I was merely a babe, I made a deal with the devil, and I’ll never earn my happiness because of it.”
As if Sloane could sense me staring at her, the amber glow of her eyes found mine across the crowd as I memorized every little part of her. She wore a pastel pink shirt, ripped white jeans, and gold strappy sandals.
Sloane was angelic. She was perfection.
And I was evil. I was broken.
Good and evil didn’t belong together. They were made to battle each other, constantly fighting for control and power over those they inhabited.
“Tamen—” Peyton’s sad voice cut through the spell, and I looked away from Sloane as she joined us, stopping Peyton from whatever inspirational sisterly thing she was about to say. I turned my back on them, unable to face the consequences of my actions face to face as I ordered another drink. It was a mistake for me to give into my anger and desire to keep Sloane far away from the only slice of peace I found for myself in my family. Now I was stuck in her perfect presence, once again coming up short of deserving to be.
Liv’s snarky attitude added the cherry to the top of my self-loathing sundae. “Holy shit, it worked. You said Beetlejuice three times and Tamen showed up.”
“Cut it out.” Peyton snapped, “Just,” She stammered, “Give it up, Liv.”
“Whoa,” Olivia’s shock echoed through the crowded restaurant behind me.
As Sloane slid in beside me, she touched my arm and leaned around me, forcing her face into my sightline. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Why are you here?” I hissed, staring down at her. I felt raw and on edge, and that familiar call to the darkness beckoned in my mind.
Sloane’s gold eyes widened at my tone, but she replied calmly. “I ran into them, and they invited me to join them for girl’s day.”
“You don’t have other friends? Friends that aren’t my family?”
I watched as a different persona slid over her features and she riled up at my question, “I do, but you’ve slept with all of them. So, I figured I’d hang out with the only two girls in the city that can’t say that.”
Smiling to myself as her bite fed at that self-loathing loser inside of me, I snapped back, “Do my sexual encounters bother you that much?”
“They didn’t until I faked my way through a tiresome ten minutes with you.” She flicked her hair over her shoulder, “I kind of lose my appetite for someone after something like that happens.”
She turned to walk away, and I sidestepped her, boxing her in against the bar. It wasn’t overly aggressive, but her lips parted, and her eyes flared with anger as she bent backwards to stare up at me. I knew Olivia and Peyton were standing right beside us within earshot, so I leaned down around her face and ran my nose up the side of her face, not touching her anywhere else, and whispered in her ear.
“Nice try, Rainbow. But I can still taste the sweet flavor of your orgasm on my tongue.” Her ragged breaths against my neck showed her futile attempt to control her response. She was as fucked as I was when it came to physical chemistry. “I can still feel the way you dug your nails into my skin, branding me as you came all over my cock, begging for more.”
Sloane snorted and pushed me away, breaking the connection I had desperately needed for days now, “Wrong.” She huffed, staring up at me again, “Those are secrets of the trade, meant to make men like you think you’re the best I’ve ever had.” She stepped forward, and I took a step back as she raised her finger to my chest, digging her dainty black painted nail into my sternum. “The night before you, another man thought he was just as special as you did. And an hour after you left, another man swore my praises to the sky as he claimed every inch of me that you had touched right before that. You’re not special. This is just a game. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Red.
I saw fucking red.
Imagining her letting another man touch her after I left that night burned every bit of control I had left inside, and I stepped back into her space. I would bend her over the bar right in the middle of the upscale city bar we were in to take back my claim on her, if that’s what she needed to be reminded that I was the boss.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Peyton hissed, stepping between us and glaring at us both. “Okay, we get it. You two like to fuck each other like rabbits while pretending that you hate each other.”
“We do hate each other.” Sloane and I both barked out at P in unison.
“ Right .” She droned on, pushing me back and patting my chest. “And the Feral Post Office Lady is harmless. Both are almost believable for half a second until you get close enough to see the truth. But by then, it’s too late, you’re in the clutches of fate by that point.”
“Do not mention that untamed geriatric bobcat in my presence ever again.” I snapped and Liv snickered, drawing my glare her way.
“Anyway,” Peyton slid her arm through Sloane’s, who looked smug as my sister-in-law once again continued to invite her into our circle. “We’re headed to Duffs for wings.” Even simply mentioning the rough sports bar down the street had my annoyance level already rising.
“What is that, three bars in one afternoon?” I chided.
Liv flicked the side of my face with her fingernail, “Careful what you say, mister, or I’ll call Dane and have him turn off your tracker.” When I gave her my attention, she raised her eyebrows at me and nudged me along after the other two. “Yeah that’s right, I know all about your Mr. Hot and Cold mind fuck you’ve got going on with her. So act right, take us out for dinner, and then you can start winning her over the right way.”
“I’m not trying to win anyone over.” I argued, but she waved me off.
“Rory likes her.”
“Gah,” I cringed at the maternal influence she was trying to use on me. “Fuck off.” She chuckled, drawing Sloane’s side eye over her shoulder to me. “Whatever. But if anyone tries to do shots, I’m out.” I droned, already knowing there was no way I was letting the girls go out alone. Especially not Sloane.
Which meant I was on the hook to endure the evening out with all three.
Yay me.