Chapter Seventeen
Much later that night
Portman Square
Marylebone, London
When Gabriel slowly climbed the stairs of his townhouse, the longcase clock on the second level chimed the eleventh hour. Exhaustion had crept into his body the second he handed the butler his outer things, and with every step he took, it felt as if his feet weighed twenty pounds each.
He had spent nearly three hours arguing mentally with himself, agonizing over the decision he’d had to make, and then it took another hour of talking things over with Major Kourier before he’d come to his final decision.
The speech he’d given to the people he’d ordered held in the room during that time had come from the heart, and he honestly questioned every word, but it was done.
For better or worse. Would he carry that decision as a scar on his soul forever?
Yes, of course, but perhaps he needed the reminder to never forget.
By the time he reached the suite that he shared with his wife, he was nearly dead where he stood, but the moment he spied Mary just entering the bedchamber from the adjoining dressing room, every worry resting on his shoulders fell away.
“Knowing I can come home to you at the end of a difficult day has the power to make me reborn,” he said in a choked voice as he raked his gaze up and down her figure.
Clearly, she’d had a bath, and now clad in a night dress and matching robe—one of his favorites in a pale blue color—she gave him a faint grin as she combed through her damp blonde hair.
After setting the ivory-handled comb on a nearby table, she met him in the middle of the room. “I’m glad you’ve returned.”
“As am I.” Needing to assure himself that all was still well in the world and that there was still good to fight for, Gabriel took her into his arms and kissed her.
From the second he did, the soft scent of her violet perfume surrounded him and the warmth of her ignited fires in his blood.
Pulling slightly away, he rested his forehead against hers.
“It’s done, Mary,” he said in a voice graveled with emotion.
Her arms slipped around his middle as she held him and peered up into his face. “Tell me.”
“It took hours to arrive at this decision and was damned difficult to do so. I agonized over every step of the thought process.”
“I can only imagine.” As she spoke, she assisted him out of his jacket, and when the garment had cleared his body, she let it fall to the floor.
One of the things he appreciated about her was that she didn’t push him to make decisions or talk about what bothered him.
She supported him in whatever he did, for eventually he would reveal all to her anyway.
“In the end, I’ll need to square with what I did, and I will carry the scars of that for the rest of my life. ”
“So it goes, and we all have those ghosts.” In silence, she divested him of the waistcoat. It joined the jacket on the floor. “What was your ultimate decision?”
“As you said, Mr. Corbett’s memory required justice, so when a representative of Bow Street arrived, I gave Cravitts into his care, regardless of his injury, told them he’d killed Mr. Corbett on the duke’s order.
Thankfully, the man went without argument, but Mrs. Benson was rather tearful about being parted from him. ”
“That’s understandable.” She rested a palm on his chest, and he swore her touch burned through the thin lawn of his shirt. “Do you think he’ll tell the guards at the prison, or even Bow Street agents, about what happened to the duke?”
“I rather doubt it. Especially after the speech I made to the whole company.” As he spoke, he toed out of his boots the best he could without falling over.
Once they were flung into a corner, he continued his explanation.
“In the end, I realized this whole thing was bigger than me and contained far too many concerns and cares than I could ever attempt to fathom. It was rather like being handed a tangled ball of wool.”
Mary’s eyes were bright with a sheen of tears. “And?”
Once more he wrapped his arms around her.
“When the chief inspector joined us, I spun a tale so gripping that even he was convinced. I told him that the butler had killed Mr. Corbett on the duke’s orders, so perhaps his sentence might prove lighter than if he would have done such a thing on his own.
” It still stuck in his craw, but there was nothing for it.
“I also said that after a thorough and intense investigation of the duke’s murder, and following days of questioning witnesses as well as the family, there was more than enough evidence to say that one of the servants must have gone temporarily deranged or else they were without common sense due to hashish abuse. ”
“What?” Shock jumped into Mary’s expression. “Meaning?”
Heat crept through his abdomen, and he ignored the shame and self-loathing.
There was plenty of time in the future to do that.
“I gave Bow Street a fictious name of an equally make-believe footman, who, after an accounting of the household, seemed to have abandoned his post and fled the area.” He pressed his lips together to quell their trembling, for he had broken his own moral code for this case.
“Once Bow Street and the chief inspector took Cravitts into custody and then I was left alone with the family, I concluded my speech. I told them that against my personal beliefs, I realized this case had far too many stories, far too many reasons, far too many hurts that needed healing. Was the murder justified? That isn’t for me to say, but I asked that everyone there search their consciences and told them it was up to them to live with what they’d done, for they would need to square with their god at the end of their lives. ”
“Oh, Gabriel. I’m proud of you, regardless.” Her eyes reflected that sentiment, and he nearly lost himself in those blue pools.
“In the end, I told the family that I’d given them all a second chance at life, and I implored them not to waste it.
They might not even remember the enormity of what I did for them in a few years, but I will.
” Moisture filled his eyes as he regarded her.
“I won’t lie, Mary; I hate myself for what I did, but I also feel a sense of relief and gratitude I don’t usually have at the conclusion of a case. ”
“It was difficult, I’m sure, but the man you are now, the man you’re becoming, is so much more understanding and kind with more integrity, I think, than the man you were before we met.
People look to you for guidance and how to be a true gentleman.
” She lifted onto her toes and rested a hand to his cheek, making him meet her gaze.
“I am learning from you as well, and that is a good thing.” The delicate tendons in her throat worked with a hard swallow as a tear slipped to her cheek.
“My opinion of you hasn’t changed. You’re a good man, and I will always remain in awe of you. ”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so damned glad you’re in my life.
I am learning from you as well.” Then he simply held her against him as tears fell from his own eyes.
Sometimes, the better part of valor was found in understanding and simply letting fate take its own course.
It might prove a bitter pill to swallow, but it was needed.
Once the emotion of the moment had passed, he slipped his hands down her back to clutch the rounded curves of her buttocks, for passion had crept in to replace the sadness and shame.
“Please tell me that you are in the mood for unspeakable things,” Gabriel said while he kissed her.
Then he worked at removing her nightclothes.
“I am, and I have looked forward to this exact moment.” She shoved her hands beneath his lawn shirt, and the instant her fingers touched his skin, he swore it seared his chest. “You are always so virile and eager after solving a case.”
“Only because of you, sweeting.” Seconds later, he wrenched the shirt up and off his body.
He temporarily lost the ability to breathe when gazing upon her naked form.
Even after two years of marriage, the dark pink, pebbled nipples and the thatch of blonde curls at the apex of thighs, never failed to send a rush of need through his tightening shaft.
“Dear God, you are delectable. Have I told you that recently?”
“You always do, darling,” his wife said with a wink as she toed off her slippers. “Shall I start on you, or would you rather take the lead? You have had a horrid night, after all.”
“Does it matter when we both know we’ll end in the same direction?” If he wasn’t careful, he’d shoot his wad prematurely.
“Not particularly.” Mary giggled. “This case will be remembered for a long time.”
“Agreed.” God help us all. I only hope I’m not raked across the coals in the papers.
That would ruin his future plans. Yet Gabriel roved his gave over her as if he were a green boy with his first woman.
There was nothing for it, and neither did he need to overthink it; he only wanted her.
After pulling off his breeches and his socks, he reached for her, and she came willingly into his arms.
She laid a wet palm against his skin. “You will always be my own personal protector and hero, Gabriel, and I will always be proud of you.”
Those words nearly broke him, but then, that’s the man he was growing into since meeting her.
“God, Mary, what would have become of me if I never met you?” He dropped his hands on her shoulders and peered into her eyes.
“I love you; I always will.” Gently, he urged his hands up her slender neck to cup her cheeks, then he kissed her as if he had all the time in the world.