Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
The sun is warm on my face as I sit on the creaky front porch of Mom’s cabin, the shadows from surrounding trees starting to stretch across the weathered cedar siding.
The branches are just starting to bud, but I’m pleased to see the alders are ahead of the rest. They always are the first to push through the harsh cold.
I watch the branches sway gently in the breeze as I take a slow drag from my cigarette and let the smoke drift out across the duck pond at the foot of the yard.
The pond ripples in the breeze, the murky water reflecting the sky in broken patches between floating duckweed.
A few of Mom’s half-wild ducks waddle along the mossy edge as they dip their heads in and out of the water, and a couple more flap across the yard towards the coop, chasing the chickens in the daily turf war none of them ever win.
But my favourite duck, Wingnut, is right where he always is.
Parked at my feet, letting out sharp quacks when the hens come too close, and lunging at them with his large white wings out like a fucking champion.
Pots and dishes clang inside as Mom bustles around the kitchen, and I rub my fingers over my eyes as I lean back in the wooden chair.
I haven’t slept since I dropped Cade off at his place after the auction.
After checking in at the clubhouse to make sure the rest of the night went as planned, I came right here looking for sleep. But Mom insisted on making dinner.
The sound of tires crunching on gravel sounds in the distance, and my eyes snap to the long, winding driveway as my muscles tense.
Eventually, that shitty fucking old Volvo appears through the trees and pulls up next to my bike.
Heat rises up my neck as I grip the arm rest of the chair so tight that splinters sink into my skin.
Mom steps out the front door just as the engine cuts, barefoot as always, with a wide smile plastered on her face.
Silver bracelets jangle down her wrist as she tucks a strand of sun-bleached hair behind her ear, and her whole body is practically humming with excitement.
She plants herself on the porch like she’s waiting on a fucking gift basket instead of a goddamn disaster.
“What the fuck, Mom?” I ask, anger coiling tight in my chest, ready to blow.
“She’s your sister, Alder,” she says with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“I don’t fucking care,” I mutter, bringing my cigarette back to my lips as the driver’s door creaks open.
Maple steps out like she owns the place, and her sharp gaze cuts straight to mine with a glare that I’m sure would have most people shitting their pants. But I glare right back at her, daring her to just fucking try to start something.
Then the passenger side door opens, and my anger takes a backseat.
Because while I fucking loathe Maple, I’d do anything for Cedar.
My little sister is everything my older sister isn’t. Kind, bright, and soft in all the ways the rest of us never figured out how to be. She’s got a big heart, and she actually uses it. Overall, she’s just a good person. Which, in the Roy family, makes her a fucking unicorn.
A wide smile breaks across her face as she steps out of the car and spots me and Mom.
“Perfect.” I lean forward as I stub out my cigarette in the ashtray on the table beside me, then nod my chin at Maple. “Thanks for giving her a ride. You can go now.”
Cedar rolls her eyes and heads straight up the porch steps into Mom’s waiting arms while Maple slams her door shut and glares at me with fresh venom.
“Fuck off, Alder,” she seethes, then flips her long dark hair over her shoulder and turns to Mom with a sugary sweet voice that makes me want to throw up. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, my sweet love,” Mom coos, pulling her into a hug.
Sweet. Yeah fucking right.
I push to my feet and wrap Cedar in a hug, squeezing her until she giggles and something in me softens.
I don’t get to see her much these days, now that she’s in university a couple hours away.
But, luckily, she stays buried in schoolwork and whatever wholesome shit she does that keeps her from turning out like the rest of us.
As I pull back, I catch Maple staring at my cut with disdain written all over her face.
“Don’t fucking wear that here,” she snaps when she sees that I’ve noticed.
I smooth a hand over the worn leather and adjust it over my shoulders. “This club is the reason you’ve never had to get your hands dirty, no matter how fast you are to judge the people who did to keep you safe and comfortable.”
Her jaw clenches. “Tell that to Dad.”
Mom’s hand presses gently to my chest before I can do or say anything. White-hot rage is simmering under the surface, ready to explode, as Maple and I stare each other down.
“Come on,” Mom murmurs, stepping between us.
She closes her eyes and lifts her hands, breathing deep like the whole forest is moving through her.
“This is a place of peace, love, and family. Breathe in the trees, darlings. Let the roots hold you.” She reaches out and clasps each of our hands, her long patchwork dress swaying in the breeze as her bracelets clink, and the faint scent of patchouli hangs around her like a halo.
But Maple’s gaze still burns into me, and I’m doing everything I can not to head right for my bike and rip the fuck out of here.
Mom sighs, then reaches into her dress pocket and pulls out a joint. She holds it between us like a peace offering from the gods. “Here. Chill out.”
I snatch it before Maple can and drop back into my chair, lighting it up as she mutters her annoyance.
And to make it even better, Wingnut lets out an angry quack and charges at Maple’s legs, wings flared like some demonic barnyard gremlin. She yelps and sidesteps with a flinch, then takes the furthest chair away from him… and me.
Fuck, I love that duck.
Mom disappears inside to finish dinner, and I lean my head back against the chair, pulling a long inhale from the joint. The weed she grows out here is sweet, earthy, and strong, so I let it sink into my chest and spread through my limbs, loosening the tension that’s been building since last night.
Maple and Cedar are talking about something beside me…
school, or whatever drama Maple’s dragged in with her this time…
but I tune it out. I close my eyes and let the sounds of the yard fill the space instead.
The low whisper of the breeze, the soft clucks and pecks of chickens scratching in the grass, and the rhythmic splash of ducks flapping in the pond.
The weed settles over my mind like fog, gently softening the sharp edges and slowing everything down until my thoughts are thick and slow, like they’ve been dipped in honey.
If Maple weren’t here, it would be quite peaceful.
But something else is nagging at me that I know I need to tackle sooner rather than later.
The auction last night went fine… but it didn’t move the way it should have.
We shouldn’t have had to force the bids as much as we did.
Not in that room, with that amount of wealth, and with the weight we carry.
But I saw the hesitation, the eyes shifting, and the usual high bidders waiting instead of acting.
That shit shouldn’t be happening. And if it keeps happening, we’re not going to be able to hold this together for long.
Especially not with certain uninvited guests starting to sniff around.
“Dinner!” Mom cheerfully sings from inside, clearly having just floated through the last twenty minutes on vibes and garden smoke.
I take one last toke and stub out the joint before I push to my feet. I hold the door open for Cedar, then follow her inside before letting it swing closed behind me just in time to catch Maple’s muffled curse.
Mom’s kitchen smells like fresh herbs and garlic, and the table’s already set with bowls of salad with edible flowers sprinkled on top, roasted root veggies from last season’s garden haul, and a massive cast-iron pan of something that smells like I’ll be eating myself into a coma.
She scoops a generous portion of rice and vegetables onto my plate as I sit, and Cedar settles in beside me with a smile, glancing around the table.
“This looks amazing, Mom,” she says.
“Thank you, sweet pea,” Mom replies, smiling as she takes her seat. She serves Maple last—and whether that was on purpose or not, I’m fucking pleased about it—then holds out her hands to either side of her and closes her eyes.
I glance down at her hand and suppress a sigh before I reach out to take it. Cedar grabs my other hand, grinning at me when I roll my eyes.
Mom inhales deeply through her nose, then releases a long exhale. “Thank you, Earth Mother, for your gifts. May we honour your cycles and nourish our bodies with your bounty.” Then she opens her eyes, releases our hands, and clasps hers in front of her with a smile. “Eat, my babies.”
I pick up my fork to dig in, fucking starved after being awake for so long, and after that joint.
“Alder, how was the auction?” Mom asks casually before taking a bite of her dinner.
“Mom,” Maple says sharply. “Please.”
But Mom just lifts her hand and gives Maple a warning look. “Maple. It’s Alder’s turn to speak, my love.”
I give Maple a slow, dry smile as I stab a forkful of roasted squash. “It was good,” I say, then exhale through my nose. “Considering.”
“Considering what?” Cedar asks, spreading jam on a piece of sourdough.
“We’re losing buyers,” I say. “Our mid-tier guys are getting priced out, and even with Donnie running interference, RCMP presence is tightening. So the big-money buyers don’t want to get their names caught in the crossfire if we go down. They think the risk is higher than the payout.”
Cedar nods thoughtfully. “So what are you going to do?”
“The club needs to make a plan, and shift how we do things,” I reply, making it sound much simpler than it is.
Because the truth is… I don’t know what we’re going to do.
“Shift to what, exactly?” Maple asks. “Something that gets more people killed? Or just drags the cops to our doorstep a little faster?”
“Thought you wanted nothing to do with the club? Why the sudden curiosity?” I tilt my head. “Worried the money Kurt slips you each month is going to stop?” Fire blazes in her eyes, and I let my lips curve into a knowing smile. “Didn’t think I knew about that, huh?”
Maple opens her mouth, but Mom shakes her head with a wave of her hand. “But all the cars moved?”
I nod, lifting my fork to my mouth. “Yeah, they’re all gone. With more force than it was worth.” Then I glance up at her, hesitating for a moment. “There was a Dominion Sons patch there.”
The entire table goes still, and even Maple freezes as her eyes lock on mine.
Mom shifts in her seat, pushing her food around like she’s lost her appetite. “Kurt mentioned they recently absorbed a club in Quebec.”
“Yup…” I nod slowly. “And they’re now running heavy drugs, with serious movement.”
Maple huffs and drops her fork with a clatter. “For fuck’s sake, Alder.”
“Stop,” I say loudly and forcefully, shooting her a glare that causes her to actually shut the fuck up for once. “That’s not going to happen to us.”
“You don’t know that,” she says in a low voice.
The anger that has been simmering since she got here quickly starts bubbling to the surface. “You think I can’t stop it?”
“That club in Quebec probably thought the same thing,” Maple shoots back. “So did the clubs in Saskatoon and Winnipeg. But that didn’t stop the Dominion Sons from taking them over.”
“Maybe they didn’t push back hard enough,” I say, my grip on my fork tightening.
Maple scoffs and shakes her head. “Of course. You really think you’re the one to stop them?”
My heart thumps as I lean forward, each one of my muscles wound tight with building rage. “And what the fuck does that mean?”
She folds her arms on the table and meets my gaze dead-on. “You didn’t stop Dad from being murdered by someone tied to one of your bullshit deals.”
I see fucking red.
The whole table rattles as I shove to my feet and slam my palms down hard on the table. Mom and Cedar both flinch, but Maple doesn’t move.
“I was fifteen,” I snarl. “What the fuck did you expect me to do?”
She just lifts a hand and gestures to my cut. “To not keep wearing that. To not keep playing the same game that got him killed, and puts all of us in danger.”
Mom reaches out and lays her hand gently on my arm. “Sit, lovebug.”
My jaw clenches as I stare at Maple for another second before I sit back down in my chair.
Mom pushes a small crystal from the centre of the table towards me and gives my arm a light pat, while Cedar glances between us as she quietly eats.
“We know you did everything you could, Alder,” Mom says softly, with a gentle smile. Then she turns to Maple. “And you know Alder handled it and made it right.”
Maple’s eyes flick towards me, and for the first time in a long time, I see something behind the hate. The part she doesn’t say out loud, but I know is in there.
She hates the club because she hates the crime, the blood, and the way this business took our dad. But I know she was happy when the fucker who took him got a bullet to the head.
Even though she’ll never admit it.
Because that bullet came from me.
She just drops her gaze, picks up her fork, and quietly starts eating again.
Mom turns back to me. “I know you’ll do right by the club. And do what’s right.”
I nod back at her, feeling the heavy weight that lands with those words.
Then she smiles. “But the most important thing, my darling boy, is your spirit.” She places a hand on her heart. “Is it happy?”
I meet her dark eyes, which are wild and full of strange wisdom. She’s always been on my side, in her own way. Despite the chaos I bring to her calm, she’s always there, making sure I still have a soul under all the dirt and blood.
I smile at her, thinking about where my spirit’s been, even with all this shit going on.
Specifically, dick deep in a professor who has me in a fucking chokehold.
“It’s not dead yet.”