Chapter 22 - Niall - Bumping into You
Chapter 22
Niall
“Of course we don’t, do we, mo ghrá ?” I say, shifting so Gwen and I are closer to each other, allowing Tammy and Bradley to sit on the other side of the table from us.
“No, don’t mind at all,” agrees Gwen.
“Great,” says Tammy, “that is so kind of ya’ll. We’ve been walking all over and haven’t been able to find a place to sit, then we spotted you and thought, ‘How perfect!’”
“Right,” agrees Bradley.
“Wasn’t yoga so much fun this morning?” asks Tammy, clearly not at all feeling the absurdity of this whole thing.
“Yes, actually,” says Gwen, placing her hand on my arm. “It was the first time Niall and I have tried a couples yoga class.”
“You did always like your yoga classes,” adds Bradley.
Tammy turns to me before asking, “What about you, Niall, do you like yoga? You seemed to be pretty good at it from what I could tell.”
“I do actually,” I say. “We do a bit of yoga at the firehouse to help keep us nimble.”
“You’re a fireman?” asks Bradley, his eyebrow raised.
“I am. I’ve been with a firehouse in Boston for the past six years.”
Gwen smiles up at me as Bradley says, “That’s impressive.”
“Oh, you live in Boston,” says Tammy. “That must be dreadfully hard to have a long-distance relationship and all.”
“We find a way to make it work,” says Gwen, giving my arm a light squeeze.
I lean over and give Gwen a light kiss on the cheek. “That we do.”
“So then how did ya’ll meet?” asks Tammy. “Bradley and I met at an after-hours work function. Started talking and hit it off right from the beginning.”
Bradley smiles at Tammy and takes her hand.
“We actually met through her brother, Greg,” I answer. “I went to college with Greg and Trent in Boston.”
“Greg and Trent are good guys,” says Bradley.
“They are,” I agree.
Gwen motions to our plates. “Well, looks like we are all done. We should hurry up and get ready so we can meet up with the others for our excursion.”
“See you around,” says Bradley before taking a bite of his biscuit.
As Gwen and I leave, I think about how amazingly Gwen handled that late breakfast with Tammy and Bradley. I can’t be sure, but maybe she’s finally getting over him. Or starting to feel more like herself, like Greg wanted for her. She does seem lighter, happier since the first day on the cruise ship.
After a quick shower, I pull on my swim trunks and shirt, brush my fingers through my hair, then slide on sandals. Glancing around the room, I go to pick up my sunglasses, bandana, and frozen water bottle before heading over to Gwen’s room.
Seeing me coming around the balcony, she waves me in.
“Give me just a moment. I can’t find my sunglasses,” she says, as I close the balcony door behind me.
“I’ll help you look,” I say.
“Thank you. I feel so scattered. Normally, I’m on top of everything, but somehow everything I laid out last night has got up and walked away.”
I survey the room, and when my eyes land on Gwen, a smile breaks out across my face. “Ah, here they are,” I say, stepping over to her and plucking the sunglasses off the top of her head.
“What? How did I not notice? I’ve seriously been looking all over for them!”
I hand them over to her, and she clips them to the front of her dress.
Taking her arms in my hands, I gently turn her toward me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Deflating a little, she sighs. “I’ve been a little off-kilter since we got back from yoga and breakfast.”
“Want to talk about it?” I ask, pulling her into a hug. She doesn’t stiffen this time, and I continue, “I’m always here for you.”
She nods, then shakes her head. “Yes and no. I guess I’m having a difficult time processing, well . . . everything. And I don’t want to burden you with my emotions. That wasn’t part of our dating agreement.”
“Gwen, I hope that through all of this, you consider me a friend. I mean, we are fake dating and everything,” I tease. “But as your fake boyfriend, I want you to know that I’m here for you. Whether it’s fake-dating charades or heart-to-heart conversations. If you need someone to unburden yourself to, I’m your man.”
“Thank you,” she whispers into my embrace. “It’s just that I’m realizing that Bradley might not be entirely at fault for our breakup. It’s hard to admit, because since the breakup I’ve blamed him, and I haven’t let myself see the part I played in our relationship ending. I’ve thrown myself into my work, trying to prove to Bradley that I had to spend so much time on my business so that it could be successful. But now that it is doing really well, I’m realizing that there was some truth to him saying I make work too much of a priority.”
“That’s good that you’re recognizing it, right?”
Gwen shrugs and continues, “And being on this cruise with everyone, it’s become obvious that I need to pull back from work, dedicate more time to my friends and family, to my personal life. I need to focus on what is most important: the people I care about. Work will always be there, but I don’t want to wake up one day and not have my friends and family. I don’t want to be that person who just goes to work, comes home to sleep, and then rinse and repeat over and over.”
I hold her tight, her words like a punch to the gut. It’s exactly what I’ve been doing the past twelve months since my mam’s passing. The realization is shocking. We’ve both gone through two major life changes, and each of us has handled it in similar but different ways.
“Are you okay?” Gwen asks.
“Of course I am,” I say.
“It’s just,” Gwen says softly, “I can see the look on your face when you go off into your memories. It can’t be easy being around our families when you’ve lost yours.”
That realization stings. I step back from her to give myself some space. “I’m fine,” I say and turn and look out to the balcony away from her. I need to just keep it in. No need to burden her with my struggles.
“Niall.” She places a hand on my cheek and turns me to face her. The sincerity and care in her eyes have me melting. No one has looked at me with such genuine concern since my mam’s passing, and it breaks something within me.
I sigh before letting the words pour forth, like a dam breaking from the weight of all my emotions. “It is hard. My mam was my best friend. We were all each other had in the world, but then she was taken away from me too soon. I’ve been struggling with that and trying to make myself be happy again. I almost didn’t come on this cruise, but I knew I didn’t want to let Greg down, and I knew my mam wouldn’t want me to miss this either. I needed a chance to get away from Boston, from the constant reminder that she is gone.”
Gwen nods, encouraging me to continue.
“I know everyone feels sad about it, and they’ve tried to reach out, but I haven’t wanted to let them help. I haven’t wanted to burden them with my emotions. I was so strong for my mam while she was sick, but there are times when I feel so lost without her. She was my one constant for my whole life, and without her I feel . . . alone. It’s just me now.”
“Oh, Niall,” Gwen says.
I brush a tear from her face as I say, “See this is what I mean. I’m causing you sadness.”
“Yes, but it’s only because I hate that you feel so alone. You’re not alone, you know? You’ve got Greg and Trent. My mom and dad talk as if you’re their son too. And not that it’s much, but you’ve got me. Just as you said to me, I’m here for you. Anytime you feel like you want or need to talk, I’ll be an ear for you.”
I pull her in for a hug, my chest pounding rapidly at her kind words. It’s time I let my friends in, because she’s right—I’m not alone. I have a great group of friends who feel like mo thaeghlach , just like I’ve got a great crew at work who are also like family. I’ve been looking at this all wrong for too long, and it’s time to change that, to lean on the people that care about me.
“Thank you,” I tell her. We stand embracing each other, looking out over the ocean for several moments.
My phone vibrates, and I pull it out of my pocket.
Greg
Where are you? We’re about to head out.
“We better go,” I say. “The others are going to wonder where we are.”
Niall
Heading your way now.
We hurry out of the room and off the boat, meeting up with the rest of the party just after the pier.
“Finally!” says Margot. “We were worried you weren’t going to make it. Wait, were you two together?”
“Yep.” Gwen shrugs. “Just grabbing some food.”
After a round of hugs, the grandparents leave with Maggie to go to the beach. The rest of our group heads to the off-roading four-by-four adventure through Aruba Arikok National Park.
A very bumpy, very dusty ride takes us through the national park. We see burrowing owls and other local wildlife as well as all sorts of flowers and plants. The view is amazing. But by the time we get there, we’re all ready for the refreshing waters of Conchi, a natural pool.
The tour guide gives us a brief history of the area. The Conchi, which means bowl, has unique natural pools created by the ocean’s relentless crashing waves.He explains that the Conchi has two natural pools: a larger bottom one and a much smaller upper pool. The upper pool is only deep enough for a small handful of people to swim in it at once.
We gather our belongings from the four-by-four and find an area on the small beach to lay our towels and packs. The view is breathtaking with dramatic shows of water spraying over the rocks as the ocean ebbs and flows against them. Within the pool, the water is calm and crystal clear.
Some of the group from the excursion has already rid themselves of their shoes and extra clothes and are swimming in the water. The more adventurous are heading over to the rocks and cliff jumping into the pool.
Gwen and Holly quickly wade into the water and wait for the others to join them.
“The water feels amazing,” shouts Holly.
“Definitely refreshing after that ride,” agrees Gwen.
“Come on, slow pokes,” they yell out to us, heading over with their snorkeling gear toward the rocks closer to the ocean.
After snorkeling for only a few minutes, Trent says, “I’m going to try cliff diving.”
“ Cúla búla ,” I say. “I’ll join you. Greg, you game?”
“I’m in,” he says. Then looking back to Holly, he adds, “Be back in a minute.”
We climb up the path to the spot in the rocks that’s just right for the jump.
Trent doesn’t even wait. As soon as he’s at the edge, he jumps. “Woohoo!” he yells before splashing into the cool water below.
As soon as Trent surfaces, I tell Greg, “See you below,” before jumping in. The jump is freeing as the air rushes by me before I hit the water. I pop back up just in time to see Greg as he hits the water.
“That looks crazy,” says Margot as we swim back to the girls.
“It’s a blast,” says Trent, splashing them.
“I prefer the calm, less deadly swimming,” says Holly.
“Ah, you know you love the thrill,” says Greg. “I couldn’t keep you off the black diamond runs at the cabin last winter.”
Nodding, she splashes him with water, managing to get me in the crosswind.
“Hey, what’d I do?” I ask in mock horror.
“You encourage them both,” Gwen says and laughs.
“You going to jump?” I ask.
“Ooo that sounds fun,” says Margot, looking between us both excitedly.
Gwen bites her lip as she looks from me to the cliff.
“I mean, this can’t be any worse than a black diamond run,” Gwen says.
“Grand!” I say.
“Yeah, let’s do it,” says Trent, already swimming back over to the path.
“You all have fun,” says Greg. “I’m going to hang back here with Holly.”
Trent leads the way as Margot, Gwen, and I all follow.
Margot catches up with Trent and doesn’t hesitate before jumping off the cliff and into the clear water below.
“She’s fearless,” says Trent. “See you all down there!” He jumps into the water below, then comes up laughing as his head breaks the surface.
Looking at Gwen, I notice she’s watching the water spraying up and over the rocks.
“It’s so dramatic,” she says. “If I didn’t see the calm pools of water with my own eyes, I’d never believe it could be hidden behind those rocks.”
“True, so many things can be easily hidden when people don’t take the opportunity to look,” I agree, then I motion to the edge. “You ready to jump?”
Her starburst eyes pierce mine. “It’s a long way down.”
“You’re not wrong. The five-foot jump is down a bit further on the trail. This one is just about a fifteen-foot drop.”
“‘Just,’ ha, right,” she says, fidgeting as she looks over the edge.
“What did you say about black diamonds? This can’t be worse than that, right?”
“Psh, well, now that I’m up here, of course it’s worse. A black diamond is easy. I have total control the whole way down the mountain. With this, it’s a free fall. I have zero control over anything.”
“What if we jump together? We can even hold hands?”
“You’d do that?” she asks.
“Of course, Rose, I’d do anything for you.” I reach out my hand to her. “Do you trust me?”
Nodding, she takes my hand and says, “Let’s do this.”
“That’s my girl,” I say.
Grinning, we link our fingers. “Three, two, one . . .” I say, and we take off running, jumping just as the edge nears.
When we break the surface of the water, the laughter and pure joy emanating from Gwen causes my breath to hitch. She’s gorgeous. More than that, she’s a stunning woman inside and out.
We swim back over to the group. Margot and Trent convince some of the others to jump with them again. But Gwen and Holly head to the beach to lie out, leaving just me and Greg.
Greg swims closer and, in a hushed tone, says, “I knew you’d be good for Gwen. It’s almost like she’s her old self again, before that jerk dumped her.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“If you want some advice, she loves Mexican food and Putt-Putt golf.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Thanks for doing this, man.”
“Don’t feel like you need to thank me. She’s the craic to hang out with.”
“I love to hear it,” he says. “It hasn’t been too hard getting Gwen to hang out with you, has it?”
“Not really,” I admit.
“Well, that’s good,” says Greg. “And, um, things are still friendly between you two, right?”
My stomach churns slightly at the guilt I feel in deceiving Greg. Not only about the deal I made with Gwen, but also about my feelings that are growing stronger for her the more I’m around her.
I have the urge to confess everything to Greg, but one look at the beach, seeing Gwen so peaceful, has me biting my tongue.
I cannot betray her trust. If I can’t have more with her right now, at least I have her trust. And her trust is worth more to me than anything else.
“Yes, just friendly.”