Chapter 26 - Niall - Bumping into You
Chapter 26
Niall
Our group stays in the Knight’s Tavern as many of the other groups disperse to other areas of the ship. Given the time, many are probably heading off to bed.
Music is playing, and we take our drinks and move closer to the balcony that overlooks the Grand Promenade below to watch the singers and listen to the music. A group of people start to dance.
“Let’s go dance,” says Margot, pulling Gwen and Holly along with her. Neither are reluctant. The joy in Gwen’s eyes is evident. The girl’s wave to us as they leave, telling us they’ll be back soon.
Trent, Greg, and I stay up in the lounge, sipping our drinks, while relaxing and chatting.
“Thanks for inviting me,” I say to Greg.
“Of course, man, couldn’t get married without you and Trent here with me,” he says.
“I love my boats back at the marina, but I have to say, this boat tops those,” Trent laughs.
“I bet,” says Greg, “though I wouldn’t say this is just a boat.”
“What’s it like managing the marina now?” I ask Trent.
“Oh, you know, every day is something new. Some days I’m captain, other days a janitor. The elderly come to fish off the docks, and on those occasions, I multitask as a therapist and occasional fish whisperer all rolled into one. There’s this one elderly man who comes every morning at sunrise, like clockwork. He’s a sweet old man. His wife recently died, and I think he’s a bit lonely, but we have some of the best conversations,” Trent answers genuinely.
“Sounds nice,” I say with sincere honesty. The memory of my mam hits me in the gut. I feel for the old man having no one around anymore. No one should be lonely.
After taking a sip of his drink, Trent adds, “Some days, I swear I’ve got more sunscreen on me than a lifeguard at spring break! But seriously, it’s a labor of love. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I mean, where else can you fix a boat engine while belting out sea shanties and debating the horror that is pineapple on pizza?”
“Hey,” says Greg, “I happen to love pineapple on pizza.”
“Yeah, and dude, you’re weird,” Trent says. Then turning back to me, he adds, “But it has been nice having Greg here rehabilitate our website and social media presence. Nowadays, we have a party or event going on almost every weekend. It’s definitely revamped the sense of community that the town has in the marina, for which I will be eternally grateful.”
“Even if I like pineapple on pizza?” Greg asks.
“Well . . .” Trent says, “to be determined.” The two laugh with each other before Trent continues, “With all Greg’s done for the business, my parents finally feel like they can see retirement in their future because Greg and I have everything handled.”
“Sounds like you have a craic of a time,” I say. “I’m definitely going to have to come down for a visit soon. I hate that I feel like I’ve shut you all out recently with everything going on. I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it, man,” says Greg.
“I’m going to be different moving forward,” I say. “More open. Being on this cruise has been good for me. It’s showed me that I’ve just been living each day on repeat. But I realize it’s time to move forward and process my mam’s death. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with her stuff; I can’t keep living like she’s going to walk back through the door any day.”
I haven’t thought about the house or about going through my mam’s things since I’ve been on the cruise. A certain spitfire of a woman has kept me occupied, and I’ve felt more like my old self these past few days.
Glancing down to the Grand Promenade, I see that beautiful auburn hair. Gwen and the girls are dancing. Gwen looks happy and carefree.
“We’ll always be here for you,” says Trent. “You shouldn’t ever feel like you can’t reach out. We’ve got your back. As for your mam’s house, you could sell it.”
“Or keep it and rent it out,” Greg adds. “You can move anywhere, do anything.”
“Oh yeah, dude,” says Trent, enthusiastically. “You could come to Chessie Valley. You’re a firefighter. Everywhere needs a firefighter! You don’t need to stay in Boston all by yourself. You can come be with us.”
“Trent,” laughs Greg, “you are always trying to get people to move back to Chessie Valley.”
“Maybe I just know what’s best for everyone,” says Trent as he sits up a little straighter.
It would be nice to be around Greg and Trent more. They’re like family to me, and they’re right too. What is holding me in Boston? A sense of duty to my brothers and sisters at the firehouse? But they’re the ones that encouraged me to move forward. Right now, Boston is full of reminders of the past, and Mam didn’t want me moping around by myself forever.
Mam would want me to continue to live my life. And I wasn’t truly living my life while I was taking care of her. I put everything on pause: friendships, dating, all of it. I was so focused on Mam and what she needed. Maybe it is time to start thinking about what’s best for me.
The sound of laughter hits my ears, and I turn to see Gwen, Holly, and Margot making their way up the stairs to where we are sitting. Gwen . . . now she is someone worth living my life for. She’s funny, smart, full of life, and feck is she beautiful.
I smile as she glances up. I can see the pink in her cheeks grow once she realizes I’m looking at her.
“You all have fun?” asks Greg, as Holly sits down on his lap and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
“We did,” Holly says. “I love dancing. It’s so much fun, but now I am beat. It’s been such a long day, and we have another port day tomorrow. I’m ready to head off to bed.”
We all agree with a chorus of “same” and “me too,” then head off to our respective rooms.
A wave of energy hits me once I’m back in my room. I tidy up, picking up my brush off the dresser and picking up clothes that I’ve strewn around the room as I walk back out toward the sitting area. Afterward, I take a shower, hoping it will help relieve some of this energy, but nothing helps. After throwing on some pajama pants, I head out to the balcony and pace back and forth.
The vastness of the ocean before me seems to mirror the endless possibilities of my future. The gentle breeze carries a salty scent of the sea, and the moon casts a silvery path on the water as if inviting me to follow it into the unknown.
What is my problem?
Is it that I might be considering moving away from Boston? Selling my mam’s house and moving to Chessie Valley? There’s nothing bad about that. Nothing that would cause me to feel this pent up. I feel like I could run a marathon right now and still have energy left over. It’s the unknown, like I’m at a crossroads for my life, and that feeling is unsettling to me.
I’ve never wanted to settle down, but now . . . now that’s changed. The thought of a relationship, a real relationship with Gwen excites me. Something I never thought would happen. But Mam knew. It wasn’t any one thing with Gwen, but a bunch of little things. I’m happy around her, truly happy, not just hiding behind a fake wall of happiness.
Her spunk and caring nature draw me in. She’s so easy to be around. And unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before, I want to be with her. I want to try new experiences and see her face when it lights up with happiness. To fix her problems when she’s upset, just to see her smile again.
The sound of singing causes me to stop my pacing. It’s a melody so pure it’s captivating, seeming to both wrap around my heart and hold me still.
My breath hitches when I realize it’s Gwen. Her balcony door’s ajar, letting in the ocean breeze. A gentle light from inside her room casts a soft glow on the balcony. I feel drawn to her. Each word is like a thread pulling me closer.
Moving over to her side of our shared balcony, I listen to her as my heart beats in rhythm to her song. Her rendition of “Conversations in the Dark” by John Legend is stunning. I’m frozen listening to the words coming from her cabin and watching her dance. She’s captivating.
I’m hit with a realization so strong it takes the breath from my lungs—a realization as clear as the moonlight reflecting on the water. The depth of my emotions surges forth like a tidal wave, knocking into me with such a force I can do nothing but stand here and catch my breath.
In the midst of this tidal wave crashing over me, truth dawns on me. The way my heart quickens at the sound of Gwen’s voice, the way her presence feels like the missing piece of a puzzle I didn’t even know I was trying to solve. I want to be more than her fake boyfriend, more than just a friend. I want to hold her hand as we navigate the seas of life together.
With every note, a downpour of thoughts and images flash through my mind: shared laughter, stolen glances and kisses, moments of a life with Gwen, a future with her.
With this realization, the final piece of the puzzle clicks within me. I’ve fallen hard for her, slowly and deeply. I have never felt this way about someone before. I may have taken off the whole allotted year my mam gave me, but I think I have finally found someone worth trying with.
As her song reaches its end, I’m full of hope for a new beginning for us. I want to be the one to make her laugh, to hold her close when she’s sad, to support her in her hopes and dreams. As the waves lap against the hull of the ship, I feel as if it’s encouraging me and pushing me toward a new future, one I never saw coming. One that is beginning to mean the world to me.
Though her door is ajar, I softly knock on the glass of the balcony door, not wanting to disturb the sereneness of the night. Gwen answers in just her pajama shorts and tank top, causing me to swallow hard at the sight of her. She’s breathtaking.
Cheeks still a little flushed from dancing around her room, she slides open the door a bit wider.
“Hi,” she says. “Is everything okay?”
I’m quiet for a beat, so many thoughts running through my head. What if I’m misinterpreting everything? Sometimes you just have to take that first leap and hope you’ll land safely on the other side, I think to myself.
Shaking my head to quiet the thoughts, I finally say, “Gwendolyn, I don’t want to be fake dating anymore. . . . I, I don’t think I can.”
Gwen gives a sharp intake of breath, her cheeks heating up, before saying, “But . . . the plan. We had a plan. You promised.”
Placing my finger to her lips to stop her spiraling, I say, “You misunderstand, mo ghrá ,” the breath from her mouth on my finger stirring even more emotions in me.
“You misunderstand,” I say, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend; I don’t even want to be your friend. I want to be more than friends. And I don’t know what that means for the future, but for now, for the rest of the time I have with you on this cruise, I don’t want to pretend anymore. If I’m being honest, I haven’t been pretending at all. My feelings for you are true. I want to be yours, for real, for as long as you’ll have me.”