Chapter 28
HUNTER
On Monday afternoon during my lunch break, I called Andrew.
He answered right before it went to voicemail, which was very much like him.
I was still trying to put him into the right Covington boxes, trying to figure out which of our traits he possessed, even though not being raised with us.
Sometimes, he was predictable, and other times, not so much.
“Hey,” he said, his voice echoing. “You’re on speaker.”
“Am I in mixed company?”
“No. Just me, this Epsom bath, and these sore muscles.”
“Everything all right?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I just worked out a little too hard on Saturday, and I’m paying the price. Took the day off.” He laughed, and it was all Smith, rare but precious. “What’s up?”
“I know we’d talked a couple weeks ago about me and my brothers—” I grimaced. “Your brothers…coming down to San Diego, which clearly hasn’t worked out.”
“I don’t think they like me,” he interrupted.
“It’s not that. Marshall just moved his boyfriend in, and they’re very head over heels about each other. He said maybe in a month or so. But I wanted to see if you could maybe come up again? I hate to ask—”
“Yeah,” Andrew said before I could finish. “It’s not a long drive.”
Even if he hadn’t meant for there to be accusation in the words, I heard it anyway.
San Diego was not so far from Los Angeles that it should ever be an ordeal for us to get together.
I realized then I’d been approaching a relationship with my newest brother all wrong.
I’d wanted to set out a unified front as to not alienate Finn, Smith, or Marshall, but in doing so, I’d definitely done the same to Andrew.
He didn’t seem like the type to ever admit it—very Finn of him—but that didn’t take away the fact it might have happened.
“I got promoted last week at work,” I explained. “Made partner. Finally.”
Andrew hummed thoughtfully, water swishing in the background. “That sounds like congratulations are in order.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Uhm, the other partners are hosting a little party for me this coming Saturday. My…our brothers will be there, and my boyfriend too. Lincoln.”
“Did you tell me you had a boyfriend?” he asked.
“It’s very new,” I said, clearing my throat. “But I would like you to get to know him. If you…if you want to come up early on Saturday, maybe the three of us could get lunch or something.”
A pause, and then, “I’d like that.”
Relief rolled through me, and I sank back against the well-worn leather of my desk chair. I hadn’t realized how nervous I’d been about inviting him until I actually did it, and now that the hard part was out of the way, we could have a normal conversation, which we did.
We talked about mundane things, the weather and traffic, and we complained about work.
He lamented the dating scene in San Diego, which I found impossible to believe could be slim, and then he told me about his mom.
About what it was like for him growing up.
In return, I offered him my own stories of what it was like to grow up under the punishing expectations of Willem Covington, and then it was time for him to get out of his bath.
“I think I’ve been too hard on the four of you,” he said softly. “Maybe.”
“In what way?”
“I’m jealous sometimes, I think…that the four of you have each other. But it was borne of necessity, wasn’t it?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but not a single sound came out.
“Sorry, that was…” Andrew laughed nervously. “I hate to end the call on that note.”
“It’s fine,” I told him quickly. “I just…it’s fine.”
“I’ll see you Saturday then? And your boyfriend?”
“I can’t wait,” I said, and it was the truth.
We said our goodbyes, and after the call disconnected, I leaned back in my chair and scrubbed a hand down my face.
I truly needed there to come a day when I didn’t feel like I was the intermediary between Andrew and my brothers.
Andrew was also my brother, but I couldn’t manage the relationships between him and the other three on my own. That was for them to build.
I started a new group text. Adding Marshall, Finn, Smith, and Andrew to the same chain.
Figured now is as good a time as any for all of us to be able to get in touch with each other.
The read receipts filled the screen one after another. Andrew’s being first, then Smith, then Marshall, and lastly Finn. Instead of responding in the thread, he messaged me privately.
Finn
WTF
He’s our brother too.
On a technicality.
He’s as related to you as I am.
He’s a stranger.
Does this have to do with N&A or are you really just this cranky? Because I promise you, there’s more out there than just him.
My phone rang, my brother’s face filling the screen with his name across the top.
“What?” I answered, already annoyed.
“What do you mean there’s more than him?” Finn asked.
“Statistically,” I said. “It’s probable.”
“Have you heard anything specific?” he pressed.
“No, Finn.”
My brother made a very unhappy noise on the other end of the phone.
“What are you doing right now?” I asked.
“Trying to find a spoon to dig my eyes out with so I can stop looking at this spreadsheet,” he said. “Why, what are you doing?”
“Telling myself I need to take a lunch but not actually getting up from my desk.”
He laughed at me. “Glutton.”
“I didn’t make partner by taking lunch breaks.”
“Did you want to get lunch?” he asked.
“Definitely.”
“I’ll text you a place,” Finn said, then he hung up.
A handful of seconds later, he sent me the address of a Thai place in Venice, so I powered down my laptop and headed to the parking garage.
In the elevator, I ended up with Winters, who asked if I was looking forward to the little celebration they’d put together for the coming weekend.
I was, so I told him as much, and I told him my brothers and my boyfriend would all be coming.
This seemed to please him, and we said our goodbyes before heading to our respective cars.
Before I backed out of the parking spot, I texted Lincoln to let him know I missed him.
He was quick to respond, sending me a selfie of him and Feeny.
A shot of disappointment rolled through me knowing he was at his apartment and not mine, but I also knew he was exceedingly mindful of where he spent his time.
I would’ve had him film all of his content from the comfort of my place, and unpack his clothes in my closet, and his sex toys under my bed, but I didn’t want to scare him off.
Even after we’d confessed our young and possibly premature feelings to each other, Lincoln was skittish.
He was careful to not take up too much room in my life, to always clean up after himself, leave no trace behind.
If I was being honest, I hated that. When he went back to his apartment, it was as if he didn’t really exist, and I hated that more than anything else.
I wanted him to leave underwear on my floor or a toothbrush on the edge of my sink.
I texted him back.
Will you come over later?
I was there all weekend.
You don’t have to. But I’d like you to.
If you’re sure.
I have some work that I’ll need to take home, so bring your laptop if you want. You can edit while I finish up. I’ll order dinner. You can stay the night.
Okay.
I could hear the hesitation, even through the phone.
Bring an extra toothbrush too. To leave.
I don’t mind traveling it.
I mind.
A long pause, so long I pulled out of the parking spot and headed to the street. I’d just swiped my parking card to get out of the lot when he replied to me.
Is that an order?
Heat flared out from the base of my spine, and I tried to shove it back down considering I was at a green light in the city and on the way to meet one of my brothers for lunch.
Of all the things Lincoln and I had talked about as we set the ground rules for the things we did in the bedroom, taking those things out of the bedroom had never been on either of our radars.
I had the impression that was the way Marshall chose to live his life, and kudos to him for that, but it wasn’t something I’d imagined for myself.
But I’d never imagined someone like Lincoln for myself either.
Never imagined this kind of relationship, but here we both were.
I left the message on read until I pulled into the parking lot of the Thai place Finn wanted to meet up at. His car was already there but empty, so I imagined he’d already gone in to get us a table.
Do you want it to be?
Does it need to be?
I don’t know.
If it needs to be, it is. If you want it to be, it is.
If you don’t, it’s a suggestion. It’s my preference.
He didn’t say anything else to that, so I shoved my phone into my pocket and went to find Finn. It was easy enough, considering how tall he was, tucked into a very small table in the corner, his legs stretched out into the walkway and a bottle of beer held loosely in his fist.
“One of those days?” I asked, sinking down into the chair opposite his.
“It feels like it’s never-ending,” he admitted.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
Finn shook his head, blinking hard. “Would you tell me something interesting?”
My heart twisted in my chest at my absolute inability to help my brother in any ways that really mattered. “Not dinosaur related?”
He frowned at my joke, and it was answer enough.
“Alright. Let me think a minute.”
I’d known Finn for almost my whole life, and he was many things, but miserable was rarely one of them.
He’d always been the most happy-go-lucky of the bunch of us, ready to crack a joke or give someone a hard time when they needed to be put back in line.
And Finn did a very good job of hiding his current unhappiness when Smith and Marshall were around, but when it was the two of us, he dropped that mask entirely.
I was grateful, I realized, to give him that.
Wondering how much I would have to give in order for Lincoln to feel the same way with me.
Maybe someday.
Across from me, Finn’s frown deepened, and he picked at the corner of the beer label with his thumb. I knew there was only one thing for me to tell him that would shock him out of his mood.
“Alright,” I said, clapping my hands together. “I’ve got it.”
He scoffed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this animated.”
“This interesting fact deserves some extra pizzazz.” To demonstrate, I waggled my fingers at him, and he chased his amusement at me back with a swig of his beer.
“I should have called Marshall,” he said.
“Wrong.” I flagged down the waiter and ordered a beer for myself and another for my brother. “Do you remember when you set up that account for me on that hookup app?”
“The one you never bothered to use?” Finn arched a brow at me. “I remember.”
“I have used it,” I informed him.
He narrowed his eyes, but his mouth twitched up from a frown and into a straight line. “You little liar.”
“I never lied. I told you I’d never gotten an alert on it, which is true because I never turned them on.”
“That sounds like the opposite of using it,” he said.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket again and set it on the table, stopping short of pulling up the app to show him, but letting him know I would if I had to.
“I have used it, but not for the way you expect,” I told him. The waiter brought our drinks, and I took more than a healthy swallow of mine. “If I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell.”
“Oh.” Finn finally smiled, leaning in and resting his chin in his hands. “This is definitely interesting.”
“You have to promise,” I repeated, raising my pinky in the air. “Lincoln is the only person who knows.”
“I bet he does.” Finn was positively giddy, bursting at the seams.
“Alright,” I said.
I had to be certain of this. If I confessed this to Finn, there was no going back from it. And even though I was relatively confident he wouldn’t tell Marshall or Smith, there was no way of being positive.
“Out with it, brother,” he demanded, hooking his pinky around mine and kissing his thumb.
I pressed my lips against my thumb to seal the promise, then as quietly as I could manage while still getting the words out, I told Finn the story of how Lincoln and I met.