Chapter 24
VINNY
My jaw grinds the entire time I run laps across the football field after practice.
You’d think a full workout and scrimmage would be enough to sate the burning adrenaline inside of me, but it wasn’t.
I decided to stay after everyone left to push myself even further, trying to get some of the pent-up aggression inside of me to chill the fuck out.
Although I get where Kai is coming from—why he’s so worried about letting Sage into our circle—it still pisses me off. I crave her, every minute of every fucking day. But Becks and Kai are my family, and if I need to shove down whatever it is I’m feeling for the blonde succubus, I can.
Despite the fact that Sage would fit into our lives flawlessly, I’ll do everything I can to push her away and hold her at a distance. That is, until we figure out what she’s going to do with the newfound information that she’s a Blackmore.
I can’t risk fucking everything up, because after all, what else do I have besides Kaiden and Beckham?
My mom died in childbirth, leaving my father to become the only parent I’ve ever known, and he raised me with an iron fist and a leather belt.
He blames me for the brokenness inside of himself, for the loss of his wife, as if I’m the one who caused the hemorrhaging inside her body that made her bleed out on the operating table.
For years, though, I believed him. I hated myself, sliced up the flesh of my arms and legs to punish myself for murdering my mother.
I believed the things he said when he took out his anger on me in the form of his fists—that if I had never been born, she’d still be alive.
That she died so I could live.
I believed that I was as worthless as he told me I was, that I wasn’t worth the fucking life I took when she died, that the world would be better off without me.
Kaiden was the one who pulled me out from underneath the suffocating burden of grief and depression.
Beckham was the one to clean up my bloody wrists and thighs, nursing me back to health when I couldn’t hold myself up anymore.
The deep, dark hole of self-loathing inside of me was filled with Beckham and Kaiden, and eventually, I was able to claw myself free from the clutches of my mental health.
Now my father’s words don’t sting as badly, because I know that I didn’t do anything wrong. I learned to defend myself against his fists after he’s drowned his sorrows in a bottle of Jim Beam.
The early November air burns my lungs as I push my legs to keep moving, even as my muscles feel like they’re locking up from the strain. My shoes pound against the cold earth with every stride, and I savor the feeling of the little razor blades stinging the back of my throat as I heave down oxygen.
Once I’ve grown too exhausted that I can’t get my limbs to move any more, I fall onto the cold, wet grass and try to catch my breath.
My fists clench around blades of grass, and I pull them from the earth roughly as anger and need spread through me.
Running doesn’t help—there’s only one thing that’s going to help, and it’s her.
After my chest has stopped heaving, I stand up and head inside.
The locker room is empty since everyone’s already gone home for the day, so I take a quick shower, scrubbing the sweat from my body before I get out and dry myself off.
I dress in my clothes from the day, then pick up my phone to find a text from Kai.
Kai
Come to the garage. Need to talk.
He sent the message almost an hour ago, so I grab my shit from my locker and leave the school.
The walk to Kai’s childhood home is long and boring, so I put some headphones in my ears to distract myself, and after no time, I’m circling the house and pushing through the door to the freestanding garage out back.
Beckham and Kaiden are both sitting on the couches he has set up, staring at each other and breathing heavily. Shrugging off my backpack, I throw it on the floor, then drop down next to Becks. I look at Kai. “What’s going on?”
“Ask your boyfriend,” Kaiden spits, making me roll my eyes.
Beckham laughs, slapping a hand down on my thigh. When I find his gaze, he looks really pleased with himself. “What happened?”
He grins. “I fucked Sage.”
I turn to look at Kaiden, perking an eyebrow. “We all did.”
Kai grits his teeth, his jaw tight enough that it could slice right through glass. “This morning. He fucked her this morning.”
“Oh.” I gape, looking at Beckham again. I can’t help the burn of jealousy that runs through me, whether it’s because Becks got to fuck her, or because he fucked her without me, I don’t know.
I drop my head a little in defeat, sighing. “Becks.”
He laughs, looking right at Kaiden. “I’m not going to apologize.”
Kai stands up, making Becks shoot to his feet as well. Taking a step forward, Kai flexes his jaw. “What did you think I meant when I said keep her close, but not too close, Becks?”
He takes another step forward, putting his nose right on Beckham’s, expecting him to take a step back and cower, but he doesn’t, my little rebel boy, he just squares his shoulders and growls.
I purse my lips, then try to ease the tension with a joke. “This is kind of turning me on.”
Beckham laughs, looking over his shoulder at me, but Kaiden shoves him back until he’s sitting on the couch again. “Watch yourself, B. You’re starting to cross a fucking line.”
Beckham rolls his eyes, putting his hand to his forehead in a salute. “Yes, boss.”
I sigh, and Kai looks at me. “I told you this bitch would be a problem. She’s already coming between us.”
“I want to spend time with her,” Beckham says, making both of us snap our heads to look at him.
Kaiden steps backwards, grabbing the can of beer he has on the table before sitting down across from us and repeating Becks’s words. “You want to spend time with her.”
“Yep,” he answers, crossing his arms over his chest.
Kaiden presses his eyes closed, his nostrils flaring as he blows out a breath through his nose. When he opens his eyes, they’re dark and narrowed. He points a finger at Beckham. “You want her so bad that you’ll risk everything we have?”
Beckham stands and throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “The two things do not have to be mutually exclusive, Kai! I’m allowed to like her and also be a fucking Hallows Boy.”
Kai stands up again too, putting his beer back on the table before he steps toward Becks. “The Games ended the morning after Halloween. You don’t get to just fucking decide to keep playing without us.”
Beckham laughs, throwing his head back for dramatic effect. “Oh my god, that’s what this is about? You’re fucking jealous?!”
I stand up then too, knowing Beckham is walking a thin line, about to press his luck. Kai takes another slow, calculated step toward Beckham. “I’m not fucking jealous.”
Beckham’s lips twist into a pleased grin, and I take a deep breath. He spreads his hands out to the sides as he addresses Kai. “If you want to fuck Sage, then fuck Sage. But don’t get mad at me for having the balls to do something that you’re too pussy to d—”
Kaiden swings his fist before Beckham finishes his sentence, knocking his head to the side.
Becks grunts, slowly lifting his head as he licks at the trail of blood that’s now dripping from the corner of his mouth.
The twisted part of me starts to swell in my pants at him licking the blood, so I adjust my stance a little, spreading my legs.
“Again.” Becks laughs, tipping his head up, and Kaiden grins at him before swinging again, sending Beckham’s head flying to the side.
“Okay,” I say as I step in front of Becks. “Enough.”
I look between them, and they’re both smiling wide like maniacs. Beckham looks especially manic, his teeth covered with blood as his mouth pulls into a big-ass grin.
Beckham reaches out to touch my arm. “It’s okay, Vin. If he needs to get it out of his system so we can move the fuck on, then let him.”
I sigh, looking back at Kaiden in time to see him walk backwards until his legs hit the couch and he sits back down.
“I feel better,” Kai says, grabbing his beer and chugging the rest.
Beckham laughs as he sits, but I heave a sigh of relief when I drop down next to him, scanning his face and reaching out to wipe some of the blood from the corner of his mouth. He waves me off. “I’m fine.”
“Becks,” Kai says, pulling our attention. “I didn’t tell you to stay away from her for shits and giggles; I said it to protect us. Who knows what she’s going to do now. We need to be careful and keep the circle fucking closed.”
Beckham clicks his tongue. “I didn’t give her the fucking Krabby Patty secret formula, Kaiden, I just fucked her. I’d never do anything to risk any of us—you should know that. Our family comes before everything.”
Kaiden thinks over Beckham’s words, humming between his lips for a moment before he runs a hand down his face. “Just stay away from her until we have more information, B.”
Becks nods, and I look between my friends and shake my head.
Standing up, I brush my hands down my pants. “Are we done? I wanna crash.”
Kai waves a hand in the air toward the door, dismissing me. Rolling my eyes in frustration, I turn to leave. “This could’ve been a fucking text message.”
When I get home, my father is piss drunk and throwing shit around the kitchen. I slide down the hallway without a sound, determined to get through the house without alerting him of my presence.
Even though I took a shower at school, I still feel gross, so I slip into the bathroom and turn on the shower. The water takes a minute to heat, so I stand in front of the mirror once I’ve stripped out of my clothes and watch my cock inflate before my eyes.
I’m fucking jealous of Becks. I’m jealous he got to touch her and play with her again, and I’m insanely fucking envious I wasn’t there with him.