Chapter 33
SAGE
Even though everyone goes into Saturday’s game with confidence, we end up losing to Douglas by one touchdown, ending our season and my cheer career at Blackmore University before it’s barely begun.
While the mass of the Douglas student body floods their field and celebrates a victory, Blackmore is in a state of catatonia—either fallen to the ground or sitting silently in the stands, waiting for what the fuck we do next.
The girls around me drop their pom-poms, holding them at their thighs, and I do the same, feeling defeated and like I missed my opportunity to follow our team to a championship.
My eyes trail out to the sidelines of the field, where the Blackmore football team is heading, and I watch as they all embrace or clap hands, congratulating each other on their season.
Vinny’s in the center of it, leading his teammates through their loss in a gracious and positive way.
It makes my heart warm. His face is sad, but his body language is inspiring.
The way he claps each player on the back as he gives them their moment of congratulations, it’s kind of amazing.
I decide to take a page out of his book and turn to the girl to my right.
“Well, it was a great season.” I smile.
The blonde glares at me. “You weren’t even here.”
Pressing my lips together, I decide to nip that plan in the bud and start heading toward the bench to find better company. With my pom-poms in hand, I skip over to the football players, the cold wind blowing through my hair and causing a shiver down my spine.
Vinny turns, like he knows I’m coming up behind him, and he smiles at me when our gazes connect.
I don’t know why I do it, but I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck once I’m on the tips of my toes, but then I freeze in place, about five inches from his face. His eyebrows pull down in confusion, like he doesn’t know why I’ve stopped, and then his eyes slowly lower to my lips.
His large hand slides up my back slowly, and the blood rushes through my ears. Everything around us drops away, then his hand is threading into the hair on the back of my head, and he’s bringing my mouth to his.
I suck in a small gasp before our lips touch, holding on to my pom-poms as tight as I can while Vinny assaults my mouth with his tongue.
We’re the perfect picture, I can imagine—football player and cheerleader.
A small moan escapes me as we kiss, and his hand tightens in my hair, making the moment turn hotter and more tense and deliciously painful all at once.
I pull away before I get too turned on to trust myself. Vinny grins against my mouth, a chuckle blowing across my wet lips. “What was that for?”
Clearing my throat, I step back, dropping my arms to my sides and swinging my pom-poms. “I don’t know.”
“I thought you needed time alone.” His lips twist to the side, the taunt making me laugh. “Miss me already?”
Nodding minutely, I smile at him for a heartbeat before I walk backwards, away from him. “Great game, Vinny.”
He runs a hand over his jaw, a smile spreading across his face. “Thanks, Sage.”
With a flock of butterflies playing in my stomach, I make my way back to where my squad is still standing. A small worry that Rachel might claw my face off nags the back of my mind, but I’m pleasantly surprised when she doesn’t even look at me, just continues talking to a few of her friends.
I bend over, retying my sneaker to keep my sweaty hands busy, and then Coach Steele is walking up and clapping her hands.
“Great game, girls. Let’s hit the locker room and head home.”
Douglas is still celebrating, the whole stadium in a disarray of yelling and jumping and screaming, so I barely hear Coach Steele when she approaches me and starts talking.
“Sorry you didn’t get to cheer as much as you wanted, Sage.”
I smile at her. “One game was enough. I just appreciate you giving me the opportunity.”
“We perform at the basketball games, if you’re interested,” she suggests with a shrug.
Laughing, I shake my head. “I’m okay for now. Maybe I should take this as a sign and focus on my classes.”
She nods, smiling as she puts her hand on my shoulder. “Glad we had you on the squad, even for a short while.”
“Thanks, Coach.” I smile back, then watch her walk away.
With my pom-poms in hand, I head for the locker room slowly, savoring the way the cold air makes goosebumps prickle on my exposed skin.
I’m still buzzing and burning from my kiss with Vinny, and I hate how happy it made me feel in such a small moment.
In the last few days, I’ve tried my hardest to shut all three of the boys out, convincing myself that I need to concentrate on healing from everything they told me in private. But maybe the missing piece is them.
I spend the weekend constantly thinking about Kaiden, Vincent, and Beckham. They haunt my dreams, always save me in my nightmares, and plague my mind all day long.
By Sunday afternoon, I find the courage to ask my grandmother some questions.
I knock on the wall before walking into the living room, and her head perks up. A smile spreads across her face, and she puts down the crossword puzzle book in her hand. “Yes, darlin’?”
“Do you have a minute to talk, Gran?” As I step into the room, she sits up straighter, patting the couch next to her.
“For you, I got a lifetime. What’s goin’ on in that head, Sage Grace?”
I sigh as I sit down, pulling my legs up and wrapping my arms around my knees. “My parents. This town. The truth.”
“I told you everything I know, baby. What else is there?”
I feel tears licking at the backs of my eyes, and I blink them away before I start talking. “I don’t know. Do you know someone named Megan?”
Gran’s face pales a little. “Where’d you hear that name?”
“I found a picture of her and mom in your closet,” I confess.
Gran clicks her tongue playfully, laughter in her tone. “Goin’ through my stuff when I’m not here, just like your mama used to.”
I giggle. “Sorry.”
She shakes her head, putting her hand on my arm. “Anything in this house is yours to see, Sage—just gotta ask. As for Megan, she was your mama’s best friend since birth. She lived down the road her whole life.”
“And she died,” I add, looking up at Gran through my lashes.
Pressing her lips together, she sighs through her nose and nods. “She died when they were about your age. Horrible. Your mama had a hard time with it.”
“Who killed her?” I ask, swallowing hard.
“Sage.” Gran sighs again and shakes her head. “Why’re you askin’ me this when it seems like you already know the answers?”
Clearing my throat, I shrug. “Online, it says my dad’s best friend, Benjamin, killed her. Did you know him?”
“Never met the boy,” Gran says, disgust passing over her features. “But to do what he did…you gotta be a soulless monster.”
My chest feels lighter at the realization that she really does believe that Benjamin did it.
Maybe the Hallows Boys were wrong about my father after all, but part of me knows I’m just hoping for the best…
Hoping they’re innocent in all of this, when there’re red flags everywhere backing up the story they told me.
My parents wouldn’t have run, changed their names, and hidden their real life if they were innocent. They wouldn’t have lied to me about where I was born, who I am, what my name is.
I let silence wash over me and my grandmother for a moment, then I take a breath. “Gran…do you think it would be okay if I officially changed my last name to Blackmore?"
She gives me a smile. “If you want to, darlin’, I don’t see why not.”
“What’s your deal?” Juliet asks me as we pull into the student parking lot on Monday morning. “Had a shitty weekend?”
I look at Juliet from the corner of my eye. “It was fine. The usual. Whatever.”
Laughing, she puts her elbow on the center console to hold her head up. “Wow, aren’t you a treat today. Are you still all bent out of shape about everything you told me?”
I chuckle. “Oh, you mean my parents being murderers? Yeah, I’m still bent out of shape.”
Juliet unbuckles her seatbelt before I stop the car, then turns to look at me. “Maybe you should consider lifting the Hallows Boys ban…”
I get my SUV into a parking spot at the front of the lot, put it in park, and twist to the side. “Pass.”
“So, are we just pretending you didn’t make out with Vinny in front of the whole school on Friday?” she asks, amusement sneaking into her tone.
Ignoring her question, I reroute the conversation back to the point. “I still haven’t dealt with any of the shit with my parents, or my uncle, or this town, or myself. I’m not ready to get even more tangled in something dark and messy right now.”
“Except, they’re the ones with all the information.
They could help you comb through this shit and deal with it the way you need to,” she suggests with a a sad smile.
“I just hate knowing you’re struggling and there’s nothing I can do to help you.
Maybe you can get some more clarity from them.
Plus, you like them, and don’t you deserve something to be happy about? ”
I shake my head. “Can we just have a normal day without worrying about my parents being murderers, or me falling for three guys at once?”
She snorts. “What a fucking life you have.”
Swinging my door open, I get out, then go to the backseat and get my bag. A boulder of anxiety sits in my gut, though, and it feels like it might roll straight out my ass the second I see the Hallows Boys.
“Ready?” Juliet asks, circling my SUV.
I close the door, throwing my bag over my shoulder with a sigh. “Ready.”
Threading her arm through mine, Juliet leans her head on my shoulder as we walk toward the front of school, the cold November air kissing my face and making me shiver. California got cold—but never this cold. It’s freezing, my breath a cloud of fog in front of my face every time I exhale.
“Ten o’clock,” Juliet mutters under her breath, and my eyebrows pull down.
“Ten o’clock?” I ask, confused. “It’s, like, seven right now.”