Chapter 44
KAIDEN
Christmas morning, I drag myself home from Vinny’s to check on my dad. I’ve been so completely trapped within the world we’ve built with Sage that I’ve started to give up the things that used to occupy my time.
I couldn’t tell you the last volunteer program I was involved in.
I haven’t been to my dorm in so long, I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave it to another student. I’d rather stay where Sage is, whether that’s her house or Vinny’s.
Halloween came, took over, and then the whole world spiraled around this girl and our shared attachment to her.
Lust, love, obsession, whatever it may be… Every moment is her.
She feels like coming home and being reborn.
She’s the feeling of seeing color for the first time, the smell after a storm that washes away everything rotten, a perfect melody hitting at just the right moment in the bridge of your favorite song.
Sage is everything good and pure.
She’s lighting up parts of me I’ve shoved far away for so long, parts that I don’t recognize anymore, but want to.
But as well as that, she’s letting me claw at parts of her she has trapped behind barriers and walls.
Parts of her that are dark and twisted like me, parts that she’s never unleashed with anyone.
She’s coming out of her shell, and mine is growing big enough to bring her inside.
Sage is someone I never saw myself being different with. She’s everything I’ve avoided for so long, someone so bright and cheerful, but also possessive and full of fire. She’s impossible to control, but the challenge turns me on and ignites me.
She’s addiction and passion and obsession.
Everything I have with Sage—and everything she has with Vinny and Beckham—has me questioning every plan I’ve ever made. My wants and needs and dreams are different now, because now I have her, and there isn’t one single part of me that’s going to let her go.
Pushing through the front door of my house, my lips twist to the side as I think about Sage. It’s Christmas, and I want to be with her. I want to celebrate with her, tangle my hands in her hair and bring her to the edge of insanity before I finally let her fall over the edge.
She’s the best Christmas gift I could’ve ever dreamed of.
My dad’s sitting at the kitchen table as I walk through the house, so I pull out a chair and sit down opposite him.
“Merry Christmas,” I say by way of greeting, and he brings his tired gaze to mine.
“Merry Christmas,” he echoes. “You’re here early.”
I look at the clock behind his head, seeing it’s only seven, and shrug as I look back at my dad. “Wanted to see you. It’s Christmas.”
“You’ve been staying out so much, I figured you’d be off somewhere with whoever’s occupying your time.” My dad’s lips twitch, and a small smile pulls across his face.
I chuckle, running my hand over my jaw. “Yeah, well.”
Words fizzle out in my mind, and my father laughs at me. “As long as you’re still focused on school, Kaiden.”
“I am,” I say, almost too quickly, then I take a breath. “I’ve been thinking about next year, what I want to do. Maybe stay in Blackmore for a little while. Get a job here.”
“No,” my dad says, bringing his coffee mug to his lips. “We’ve talked about this, Kai. You’re getting out of here, to Savannah or Atlanta—not too far, but far enough. You’ll have more opportunities; nothing will ever become of you in this small town.”
“Dad—” I start, but he cuts me off.
“What is it you want, Kai?” he questions, shaking his head. “To be like me? Stuck in Blackmore forever, working at one of the factories on the edge of town? Your mother wanted more for you, a bright and amazing future, and dammit, I promised her you would get it.”
My stomach churns at the mention of my mom.
Even after almost ten years, the memory of her in her hospital bed, her body and mind taken from cancer, burns so bad that I have to blink back tears.
I don’t blame my dad for wanting my life to be different from his.
He’s so scarred and torn from the lonely last five years that he wants me to get as far away from here as possible.
What he doesn’t realize, though, is that Blackmore is more my home than anywhere else ever will be.
I’m made of darkness and smoke, and Blackmore is the place I feel most myself.
I’ve grown around this town, become one with the cemetery, the main street, the broken trees along the side of the roads, the cracks in our foundation. This is where I belong.
“I just want to be happy, Dad,” I say, smiling at my father.
He nods. “That’s all I want for you too, Son.”
After we’ve all done our family stuff, Beckham, Sage, and I decide to meet up at Vinny’s house to make sure he’s okay.
I grab the small gift I got for Sage before I head out, then I make the short walk down the street to Vinny’s. The ground is covered in a thin layer of frost, since the temperature dropped last night, but the sun’s doing a good job at making it disappear.
Pulling my hood up over my head, I slide my hands into my front pocket and walk slowly, savoring the smell of the winter day and admiring the bare trees and brown grass at the edge of the road.
The houses in Vinny’s neighborhood are littered with Christmas decorations, all except for his. It makes me feel sadness deep in my gut as I open the front door and walk through the warm house.
Vinny’s home had no Christmas tree. I don’t think in the last eighteen years it ever has, but this year, Sage went out and bought one for him, setting it up in the middle of the living room and decorating it with white and blue lights.
She’s trying to give him a piece of the holiday we all know he’s never really tasted, something to be happy about this time of year.
If only she realized that even just her presence was enough for Vinny.
He’s fallen, head over heels and back again.
No one’s ever gotten this close, no one except me and Becks. Vinny’s never been like this with someone, and no matter how cool and collected he wants to act, I can see through his tough exterior. He fucking loves this girl.
Maybe it’s a trauma bond, the fact that she was here when everything happened with his dad, and the fact she picked up Beckham’s pieces, then gave her body and heart over to Vinny when he really needed it.
Maybe I’ll never understand, and maybe all three of us will always have different bonds with Sage.
I find Vinny sitting at the edge of his bed, watching football on the small TV he has on his dresser, and his head turns when he hears me come in.
“Hey,” he says, looking back at the TV.
“Merry Christmas,” I say, sitting on the opposite end of the bed.
Becks walks in then, skipping across the room until he reaches the bed, then he launches himself down on the mattress. When it stops bouncing, he curls up and smiles. “Merry Christmas, boyfriend-in-laws.”
“Boyfriend-in-laws?” I laugh. “Don’t call us that.”
He laughs, his shoulders shaking before he wraps his arms around Vinny’s waist from behind and looks at me. “I guess you’re my only boyfriend-in-law, anyway, huh? Since Vinny is my boyfriend, too.” He gives me a fake pout, like he feels bad for me.
I roll my eyes. “You’re lucky I let you near Sage at all. Please, don’t test me.”
With an eyebrow quirked, he laughs. “Yeah, yeah. You couldn’t keep me away from her.”
I hum between my lips, narrowing my gaze at him, because we both know that I could if I wanted to. Sage is very lucky it’s Vinny and Becks she’s also involved with. Anyone else, and I would remove their eyes from their head just for looking at her.
“Let’s not forget who makes her scream the loudest,” I say, feeling a possessive and arrogant wave run through me, and Beckham just laughs again as he sits up and holds a hand out to me.
“Wanna bet?”
“Please don’t make bets about my orgasms. It’s weird.” Sage’s voice pulls us from the petty conversation we’re having, and my eyes find her standing by the open bedroom door with her arms crossed over her chest.
Vinny finally pulls his attention from the TV, and he stands up to walk across the room. When he reaches Sage, he bends down and puts his arms around her waist before he lifts her up and kisses her. She squeals as he spins her around, then carries her to the bed.
Laying her down between me and Beckham, Vinny keeps his mouth on hers and positions himself on top of her. After a minute, he pulls back and smiles. “Merry Christmas.”
She’s breathy as he runs her hands up his arms. “Merry Christmas.”
They smile at each other for a moment, and it’s like time has stopped all around us as they stare into each other’s eyes. I can feel the tension radiating from them, and Becks and I are both frozen as well until a minute later when Sage pats her hand on Vinny’s back and speaks.
“Get up so I can say hello to your boyfriend-in-laws.” She laughs, eyes crinkling at the sides and her chest shaking.
The three of us laugh too, and Beckham is first to grab her when Vinny lifts off her.
“Were you spying on us, Savage?” He chuckles, kissing her jaw and grabbing her sides.
Still giggling, she pulls his hair and brings his mouth to hers. “Merry Christmas, Beckham."
He hums against her lips for a moment, then they start kissing harder. Sage’s hips roll from instinct alone, searching for someone to rub against. Clearing my throat, I pull their attention. “Come here, Sage.”
My blood turns to a near boil as she crawls down the bed slowly, then she finds her seat on my lap, putting her legs on either side of my hips. My fingers tangle in her golden hair, and I pull her head back so I can kiss her throat. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
She sighs in pleasure. “Merry Christmas.”
As her center grinds on my cock, I hiss between my teeth before I pull her mouth to mine. Her tongue seeks mine out, sending a lightning bolt of pleasure shooting through my chest, and my fingers dig into her scalp.
She moans, and I flex my hips, pressing my thickening cock against her clit, making her nails dig into my chest. “Kai…”