Chapter 20
TWENTY
OCTAVIA
I’m pregnant. With a baby. Knight’s baby. I’m pregnant with Knight’s baby. Holy fucking crap. How did this happen? Obviously, I know how this happened. We’ve been fucking like bunnies for weeks, but seriously, how did this happen?
When I told him we could try for a baby, I was basking in the horny glow of being a newlywed and cum drunk over how perfect and sweet and thoughtful my new husband is.
But I still assumed the actual baby part of trying for a baby was something far in the future.
I mean, most women take months to get pregnant… right?
Although Betty was surprised when she and Cody had their fling, and the rest of the Barnetts seemed to get knocked up if they even whispered the word baby in the same room as their husbands too, so maybe I’m stupid for not expecting this.
Etta got pregnant about fifteen minutes after she and Oz started fucking, so why did I not expect this?
Oh god, I’m pregnant.
I’m not upset…exactly, but I don’t know if I’m happy either.
I definitely feel shocked. Everything has happened so fast since Knight came to fetch me.
I went from single, depressed, and questioning my sanity and everything else that makes me…
me. Then, in the blink of an eye, I was married to a man who is perfectly imperfect.
He’s complicated and yet the kindest, sweetest, most loving man I’ve ever known, and I like my life with him.
I like who I am when I’m with him. I like him… No, I love him, and I love us, but I don’t know if a baby will complete the family that he’s made me want or change everything.
For the first time since I met him, Knight is smiling.
Not a grin or a hint of a smile. His lips are spread into a wide, shit-eating grin, and it makes him look even more beautiful than he normally does.
He’s happy, so fucking happy, because he fucked a baby into me, and I don’t know how to react to that.
He’s going to be a great dad. I’m sure he’ll drive me and our kid nuts with his rigidity and structured view of the world, but he’ll love them endlessly without restrictions or expectations.
He’ll make them feel seen and understood and beautiful.
He’ll protect them and take care of them and…
oh god, I want this baby. I want to watch him hold our child in his arms and see his entire world change.
I want him to take care of me while I grow our baby and watch his love for me and the life we’ve created cocoon us.
I want him, and I want this baby, and I want this crazy, fast, but perfect world I’m living in right now.
“Put me down,” I say, lifting my head off his shoulder and slapping frantically at his chest.
“No.”
“Put me down. I need to say something, and I want to be standing on my feet,” I blurt, slapping at his chest as I try to wiggle out of his hold without ending up on my butt on the sidewalk.
“Doll,” he chides, tightening his hold on me.
“Knight, seriously, just stop walking and put me down. You can pick me up again afterward, but I just…please, put me down for a minute.”
Slowing to a stop, he eyes me warily, the smile slipping from his lips as he lowers me to my feet, keeping his hands on my hips like he’s worried I’m going to make a run for it.
Exhaling, I lift my hands and cup his face. “I love you,” I say clearly, wanting to make sure he hears every word. “I love you, and I love this baby, and I’m scared, but I’m happy too.”
His body goes tense, his face entirely blank for a full minute. “Say it again,” he says, his voice monotone.
“I love you, Knight Taylor,” I tell him, pushing up onto my tiptoes and resting my forehead against his. “I love our baby.” Pressing my lips to his, I kiss him, then quickly pull away. “And I’m terrified too, but I know that if we’re together, it’ll be okay.”
His body, which was completely motionless, bursts into action. My feet leave the ground as he drags me into his arms and kisses me like we’ll both die without it.
Kissing me until we’re both breathless, he marches to the car with me in his arms, fastening me into the seat belt so quickly, I barely blink before he’s in the seat beside me and we’re driving through town, and toward the mountain path that heads back to our home.
Our home. It’s the first time I’ve thought of the house he built as ours. But it is. It’s our home. Our family. Ours. Us. Just the way he’s been saying since the day he showed up and changed everything.
Neither of our clothes lasts long once we step into the house, and twenty minutes later, Knight’s head is resting on my belly, his cum dripping out of my pussy while he smiles down at my stomach.
“Hello, baby,” he coos into my belly button.
“It can’t hear you yet. It’s only the size of a poppy seed,” I tell him, quoting what the doctor told us after the ultrasound.
“I want him or her to recognize my voice, so the moment they’re born, they’ll know who I am.”
Sighing softly, I close my eyes and listen to Knight talking to our baby, his soft voice lulling me to sleep.
I wake up the next morning in our bed, the unfamiliar sight jarring me awake. Sitting upright, I look around me and find Knight sitting fully dressed on the chair in the corner of the room.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, my voice panicked but still thick with sleep.
“Good morning,” he says, glancing up at me from across the room.
“Why are we here? What’s going on?”
“This is our bedroom,” he answers robotically.
“Why aren’t we in the gym?”
“You need your sleep.”
“I sleep in the gym. What is happening? Is something wrong?”
“The gym is colder than in here,” he states, pushing up to standing.
“It’s not cold down there, plus I have a blanket and a comforter.”
“You’re more comfortable in our bed.”
“But…” My words trail off as I glance at the clock on the wall. “It’s eight thirty a.m.,” I shriek.
“Yes.”
“Breakfast is at seven a.m.”
Knight nods. “Yes.”
“So did you wake up late or something?” I question, shaking my head in confusion.
“No.”
“Knight, what the hell is going on? You wake up at five, have breakfast at seven, and then we take a bath. Why didn’t you wake me up? You’re fully dressed. Why are you fully dressed? We get dressed together.”
“You and the baby need to sleep,” he answers coolly.
“Did I sleep all the way through your workout?”
“I left you up here while I exercised,” he informs me calmly.
“You left me up here?” I shriek. “Did you already eat?”
“Yes, your breakfast is in the oven. Would you like to eat it in bed?”
“I don’t understand. Did you work out, eat, and then shower, all while I slept?” I gasp, feeling tears burning the back of my eyes.
“Yes.”
His calmness only heightens my aggravation, and I blink at him, wondering if I’m still sleeping and this is just a fever dream or some kind of weird pregnancy-related nightmare.
“What the fuck, Knight?” I yell, jumping out of bed and slapping my hands onto my hips. “You just left me up here and went on with your day without me? Why would you do that?” Tears spill from my eyes as my lip wobbles.
Knight’s expression changes from robotic stoicism to shock as he darts forward, cupping my face with one hand and my stomach with the other. “Doll.”
“No,” I shout, slapping his hands away and taking a step back from him. “You don’t get to…to…to just discard me, then try to touch me and make it better.”
“Doll,” he says, stepping toward me, his hands outstretched to reach for me.
“No,” I scream, darting around him and running for the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. Sinking to the floor, the wall hard and cool against my spine, I bury my face in my hands and sob, feeling broken down and unwanted.
“Octavia,” Knight says as the door handle wiggles.
“Fuck off, Knight,” I yell, but my voice sounds soggy with tears, ruining my anger.
“Open the door.”
“No. Just leave me alone, the same way you did all morning.” I know that it’s irrational to be annoyed that he left me in bed when a couple of weeks ago I asked him to do just that.
But since the day we met, I’ve barely been out of his sight.
We spend all of our time together, so for him to choose to leave me, even just to go downstairs, is jarring.
I fell asleep so happy last night. So grateful to be in love with a man who makes me feel whole and wanted. So happy to be pregnant with our child, and excited and scared for the future. But this morning feels like that happiness has just crumbled around me.
Routine and schedule are everything to Knight.
His days start and end the same, and since I moved in, he’s incorporated me into his life, changing and adding to his daily routine to make me a part of it.
So for him to disregard me and exclude me from his daily structure feels like a kick in the gut.
Why would he do that? My favorite part of the day is waking up to him sweaty and working out. We have sex in the gym or play around in the pool. After we’re done, he cooks, and I eat breakfast naked on his lap. I don’t understand why he’d choose to cut that out of his morning.
After breakfast, we take a bath, but this morning, he’s already showered and dressed, and somehow that hurts more than everything else. My gaze darts to the tub, and fresh tears spill from my eyes.
I know it’s ridiculous to be heartbroken about him not wanting to help me in the tub, but that’s one of our things. It’s the first time he saw me naked, the first time he told me he’d help, the first step to him putting me back together.
Pushing to my feet, I check the lock on the door, ignore his voice calling me from the bedroom, and walk to the shower, reaching in to turn on the water.
The sound of the torrent drowns out his fist against the door and fills my head with the white noise of the water hitting the floor of the shower tray.