Chapter 40 #3
"The kind where I can tell you I love you while I'm inside you." His voice drops lower. "Over and over until you believe it. Until you feel it in your bones."
"I already believe it."
"Then I'll do it anyway." He leans down, his lips brushing my ear. "Because I've wanted to say it for so long, Lily. Every single time. And now I can."
He pulls my shirt over my head, and I help him with his, and then it's skin against skin and his mouth is everywhere, trailing fire down my throat, across my collarbone, between my breasts. He's taking his time like he promised, tasting every inch of me like he's been starving for it.
"I love you," he says against my nipple.
His mouth moves lower.
"I love you," he says against my ribs.
Lower still.
"I love you," he says against my hip bone, his fingers hooking into my waistband.
"You're going to kill me," I gasp.
"What a way to go." He tips his head up, eyes bright with wicked intention. "Your words, I believe."
"I'm going to regret ever challenging you."
"Too late." He pulls my shorts down, and presses a kiss to my inner thigh. "You created a monster."
"A monster who loves me."
"A monster who worships you." His breath is hot against my skin. "And loves you."
And then his mouth is on me, and I stop being capable of words.
He takes his time there too. Long, slow strokes that make me writhe, that make me grab fistfuls of the sheets, that make sounds come out of my mouth I'd be embarrassed about if I could think clearly.
He reads every response like a map, adjusts, returns, builds me up and eases back until I'm begging.
"Please," I gasp. "Please, please."
"Please what?" He lifts his head just enough to meet my eyes, his lips wet, his gaze dark. "Tell me what you want."
"You. Inside me. Now."
"Say it again."
"I want you inside me." I reach for him, pulling at his shoulders. "I need you inside me and tell me you love me while you are."
He crawls back up my body, shedding the rest of his clothes along the way, and when he settles between my thighs, the press of him against me makes us both groan.
He pushes in slowly, so slowly, watching my face the entire time. And when he's fully seated, when we're as close as two people can be, he goes still.
"I love you so much," he groans. "This is what I wanted. This is what I was too scared to let myself have."
I pull his mouth down to mine. We move together, finding our rhythm, the one that is just ours. Full of eye contact and whispered words and the kind of intimacy that only exists when there's nothing left to hide.
He tells me he loves me when he speeds up. He tells me he loves me when I wrap my legs around him. He tells me he loves me when I start to shake apart, when my nails dig into his back, when I cry out his name like it's the only word I know.
And when he follows me over, burying his face in my neck, my name on his lips like a prayer, I hold onto him and think: This. This is what forever feels like.
After, we lie tangled together in sheets that will definitely need washing, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my back.
"So," I say. "Chicago."
"Chicago," he agrees.
"You, me, and your dad."
"And a workshop with southern exposure."
I press my face into his skin. "He's really coming?"
"He's really coming." Callahan's chest rises and falls under my cheek. "He's already researching neighborhoods. He sent me three links this morning."
I prop myself up on his chest. His hair is undone, his eyes are sleepy and satisfied, and there's a mark on his neck that I definitely put there and definitely don't regret.
"I'm going to be the best doctor," I tell him.
"I know."
"And you're going to be the best firefighter Chicago's ever seen."
"I'm going to set fires just so I can put them out. Keep my skills sharp and create job opportunity."
"That's arson," I giggle.
"That's dedication." He grins up at me, that rare full grin that changes his whole face. "For you, I'm willing to commit crimes."
"That's very romantic."
"I'm a very romantic person, I think."
"Like when you told me you wanted to put your tongue in my pussy loud enough for Mabel to hear last week?"
"I didn't know she was there! And that's romantic for us."
We stay like that for a while, just existing in the same space without any urgency.
"Hey," he says eventually.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad you're not everyone."
I smile into his skin. "I'm really glad you couldn't stay away."
"I never had a chance." He presses a kiss to the top of my head. "From the very first moment, I never had a chance."
It should be illegal to be this happy. I don't think my body can actually contain it.
"Callahan?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I'm so happy. And loved."
He smiles down at me, and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'm going to marry you one day," he says so easily, like he is daydreaming.
My heart is full, full, full and I'm smiling so hard my face hurts.
"Yeah," I whisper. "You are."
He kisses me again, full of so much promise, that I close my eyes and let it reach every cell of my being. In his arms, I am not alone. With him, I found what I always longed for.
I found home.