Chapter Thirty-Five
chapter thirty-five
MAY
“See you tomorrow, May!” Molly yells as she walks away.
I salute her. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I yell back.
“That’s a very small list!”
I chuckle as she skips off into the night. Molly is meeting friends from the UK in the city tonight, so the last half hour of my shift consisted of her trying to convince me to lock up early. We didn’t have anyone come in after ten thirty, so I finally gave in.
I’m turning the key in the lock when my phone vibrates in my pocket. When I see Isla’s face pop up on the screen, I answer immediately. I’ve barely seen her in weeks. With her and Caio tangled up in their engagement and me tangled up with Rafael, we haven’t spent any quality time together in way too long.
“Hey, sunshine.”
“Hey! I’m at your place, where are you?”
“At mine?” I ask.
“We are about due for a proper girls' night, don’t you think?”
I smile. “You read my mind. I’ll be home in ten, what about Marina?”
“I’ll call, you just get your ass over here, I’m freezing. ”
I laugh as I imagine her standing there jiggling her legs as she waits outside. “See you soon.”
When I walk around the bend to Rosemary Cottage, I see Marina’s bike parked up outside, the helmet slung over one of the handlebars. I still can’t believe she rides that thing. I’m surprised she’s never been in a life-or-death crash. One hour on that thing and I’d be in the hospital.
The girls aren’t waiting outside, though. The lights are on in the kitchen, and I can see their shadows sitting on the couch through the window.
I turn the knob of the door, not needing my key, and push it open. “Glad you made yourselves at home.”
Marina grins at me. “There’s a hot chocolate on the counter for you.”
“Oh, thank god.” I drop my bag on the floor and make a beeline for the kitchen.
I wrap my hands around the warm cup and bring it to my lips, the mini marshmallows leaving a sweet taste in my mouth.
Exactly what I needed after a long shift.
I take my mug and walk over to them, situating myself in the armchair since these two have spread themselves across my couch.
I pull a blanket across my legs, just as my phone buzzes from my back pocket.
“So, where have you been?” Isla says. “I feel like you’ve barely been around.”
I place my mug on the table and reach into my back pocket, pulling out my phone. “I’ve just been busy…”
There’s a message on my phone from Rafael:
How do you feel about adding to that ridiculous mug collection of yours?
My lip tugs into a smile when I see the attachment he sent me. It’s an advertisement for a beginner’s pottery class tomorrow morning.
“Busy with whoever just texted you?” Isla asks with a smile in her voice, and my head snaps up to see both her and Marina looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to reveal who’s got me smiling at my phone like a teenager, even though chances are, considering the topic of our last girls’ night, they already know.
“Oh, um…” If Rafael and I are to stop pretending, that probably starts with telling my friends. “It’s Rafael.”
Marina’s grin widens, and she nudges Isla in the side.
“Wait, really?” Isla’s eyes go wide.
“Who else would she be ignoring us for?”
I scoff. “I’m not ignoring you.”
“May?” Isla asks, still waiting for me to confirm it.
I shrug. “Yeah, we’re…seeing each other, I guess.”
“Like for real?” She sits forward. “Not just earth-shattering orgasms?”
I laugh. “Yeah, for real.” Her eyes start glistening. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not.” She waves her hands, pushing air into her eyeballs to make them dry up.
“It’s like a mom when her first born gets asked to prom,” Marina says, overly dramatic.
She smacks Marina’s arm. “She told me she wasn’t doing the get-married-have-kids-and-a-dog thing!”
“Okay, woah,” I say. “That’s not what we’re doing.”
Marina’s eyes turn curious, and her tone is more serious when she says. “What are you doing, then?”
I rub my hands over my face, pressing my fingers into my eyes. “I don’t know.” I groan and when I open my eyes, they’re both sitting on the edge of their seats—literally both at the edge of the couch—waiting for me to explain myself.
“Well, I tried my best to ignore it. The way that idiot makes me feel, but I couldn’t.”
Marina claps her hands together. “I knew it! ”
Isla turns to her. “Okay, pipe down in the cheap seats. I wanna hear this.”
“I thought it would just be like anyone else. Once and done, you know me, I don’t like serious. But he’s not like anyone else, and once I dipped my toe in the water, he pulled me right under.” I shrug. “So I don’t really know what we’re doing except that we aren’t pretending anymore. But I’m still scared,” I whisper. My eyes begin to fill with tears, and I exhale a shaky breath. “Neither of us wants to get hurt. Rafael has lost so many people in his life; I don’t want to let him down if I can’t give him what he’s looking for. I don’t know how to trust him yet. I’ve kept myself guarded for so long. Pulling it down feels so…”
“Vulnerable,” Isla finishes my sentence. My eyes flood with tears.
“Uh-uh,” Marina shakes her head. “No more tears.” And then she begins blowing into my eyes. I break out into laughter as a tear slides down my cheek, despite her best efforts to halt its journey. She reaches over and wipes it away.
“I didn’t even admit anything to him until the other night, didn’t really admit it to myself. I used my fears to push it down deep within me, but every time I saw him it all came back up to the surface.” I shake my head. “I’m so scared I’ll hurt him. I’m scared he’ll hurt me.”
Isla reaches over and takes a hold of my hand. “It’s okay to be scared to try, but that’s when you should do it.”
I meet her eyes and nod. This is the girl who found her happily ever after even though she was scared shitless to give in to the ride. I’m the one that pushed her to, and here she is pushing me back.
“The way he looks at you makes me think he’d do anything not to hurt you,” Marina says, and it pulls the corner of my lips up. I know the look she means, it’s the same one that drags a flush across my cheeks.
“So,” she starts, “what’d he say that’s got you looking at your phone that way? ”
I blush. I blush. “He sent me the info for a pottery class tomorrow. He knows I lost my mug collection in the fire, so he suggested I go make my own addition.”
Marina just smiles at me as Isla says, “Nora told me about that. A potter from out of town approached her and asked if she could use the studio for the workshop.”
“Are you gonna go?” Marina asks.
I shrug. “Might be fun to do something different. Plus, I do need more mugs. But enough about me,” I say. “Marina, have you seen Dante again?” I ask, talking about the guy she met when we were at the club in Sorrento.
She pulls a pillow over her face. “Nope. Screw you both for finding boyfriends and leaving me empty-handed.”
I laugh. “To be fair, one of them is your cousin, and you had plenty of chances with my one.”
She gags but Isla just raises her brows. “He’s your one now, is he?”
I pluck a mini marshmallow off the top of my hot chocolate and fling it at her. She squeals as it lands. “Shut up, you!”
“No but seriously, where have all the good guys gone?” Marina asks.
My eyes flick to Isla, but her face is schooled. I don’t know if it’s better or worse now that we’ve openly talked about the way that Miles broke Marina’s heart. But with it getting closer and closer to Isla and Caio’s wedding, it’s getting closer to the time when they’ll inevitably have to interact. I wonder how long Marina is going to ignore that fact for.
“Come on,” I say. “We are not so basic that the only conversation we have been talking about for the last ten minutes has been boys.”
“What else you got?” Isla asks.
When I search my brain for a topic, the only thing I can think of is Rafael. Maybe I really am that basic, because he’s consumed all of my mind so effortlessly, settled in every nook and cranny.
I pick up the remote and turn the TV on to The Princess Diaries . And with that, we forget any conversation and instead, we enjoy the quiet comfort of each other's presence as we watch an ordinary girl become a princess.