Chapter Fifty-Eight #2
The Prince seems amused by my stalling as he grins and offers me his hand.
My gaze flicks to Varic before meeting the Prince’s, and my hand rises on its own to lie over his.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from recoiling, while his movements prove just as graceful as he leads me to the center of the dance floor.
I smile and send a tendril of my magic inside the Prince’s chest, then hold my breath as I wait to determine if he can detect my influence.
Yet his demeanor remains unchanged as his mood returns a mix of focus, anxiety, and a fair amount of lust.
“Soren’s Concerto Number 2,” I say with confidence. The song has a mournful tone and is one that should impress the Emperor, since the Prince will be made to spin me in broad, showy circles.
“An interesting choice,” he states with a wink and gestures for a server.
He repeats the name of the song in a low voice, then returns with a specific sort of heat contained in his expression.
My heart slams against my ribs with the torture Varic must be enduring in observing this, while my own distress at having to go through with the act is surprisingly minimal by comparison.
My typical disdain is replaced with compassion.
Or maybe it’s the safety of being held within Varic’s protection.
My Guards spread further out, creating a wide circle for us to perform each of the dramatic flourishes.
Varic’s gaze sears a trail over my skin as the Prince’s hand presses against the small of my back.
The royal shifts and brings us closer together as Varic’s anger and concern spiral out from him in a thick spectrum of ribbons.
Dark blue, red, gray, and black all tangle together as his body loses the ability to contain it all.
Prince Auden clears his throat. “The band should be ready any moment.”
I nod and meet his gaze for a split-second before feigning interest in the crowd around us.
He prattles on about his most recent excursion, and I look beyond him where amber sparks glow from the center of Varic’s palms again.
My heart constricts while I make minimal conversation, smiling and nodding while the Prince carries on talking about himself.
I secretly siphon every heavy emotion Varic expels from his being, refusing to leave him alone in this while needing to alleviate as much of the pain as I can for him.
“How interesting,” I say, hoping it matches whatever the Prince most recently shared with me.
The royal narrows his eyes, and I raise my brows in contest, yet he simply smiles and guides our limbs into position to properly begin this dance.
I bend my leg and slide my foot behind me as my back arches to the extreme, braced by the Prince who has no way of knowing he’s holding my Lead Guard’s impressive magic instead.
He beams a grin at me as a wave of anger, longing, and loss slam into my being, halting my breath with the colorful tendrils swirling out from Varic’s chest.
His impossibly bright brown eyes pin mine, and he shakes his head, almost imperceptibly. But not too imperceptibly for me. Because I cannot help but notice every detail when it comes to Varic.
His throat bobs, and he fails to ward against my magic. So I take advantage and yank on the anger he tried to block from me and digest his concerns until I gather up and send him my love. Though I shouldn’t.
His eyes well with tears, and the tension in my chest relents when the amber blasting from his palms finally vanishes, and his emotions no longer burst from his body, despite the Prince smiling at the way I relax in his grasp.
My attention drifts with the heavy pulsing of Varic’s force-shield over my skin, intensifying the tingling warmth covering me from the collarbone down, encouraging a heady and intense sensation, requiring far more labor to pull in a breath than usual.
I send Varic a look of pure pleasure, hoping he understands that whatever he is doing is bringing me immense amounts, so he can stop before the Prince gets the wrong impression.
My magic consumes it all with voracious hunger as his gaze blazes a trail everywhere the Prince tries to make contact with my body.
The first notes of the song rise as the Prince tips me to the opposite side, where I arch my back while Varic’s force-shield sends a cascade of tingles down my skin. I hazard a look in his direction, and my heart twinges with the self-satisfied smile he wears now.
Prince Auden twirls me, and my smile grows from the way he presses against Varic’s undetected magic, which rises up my neck to shield my cheek just before the Prince rests his own over it.
A tendril of joy rushes from Varic, with his unsubtle way of conveying how he feels about impeding any and all contact between me and the royal handling me.
Tears well with gratitude for the ability to see where Varic’s protection kisses my skin. And while his shield can be sensed by my skin alone, the ability to witness where it protects me is a gift I will not take for granted.
That same sorcerer must notice the shift in my mood as his own smile rises until it is almost mischievous.
Prince Auden’s arms tighten around my waist as we spin into a more challenging rotation, where our sides press together, and I am meant to lift my gaze to his.
I pull in a breath and prepare to pretend I am enamored with the hazel eyes staring back, when I gasp at the most impossibly bright brown eyes instead.
I blink and shake my head, but no matter what, I can’t seem to stop perceiving Varic as my dance partner.
His confident smirk pulls on my heartstrings, though I know it’s not his. Not really.
My pulse thrums with the vision tricking me into seeing his brown, wavy hair spilling over his forehead, the same way it does when he leans in to whisper.
And the warmth of him—I can feel it. Everywhere the Prince tries to touch me through the shield.
And even his warm spice scent invades my senses while the cast of his magic matches the way it feels when he is the one who holds me.
No matter how many times I close my eyes. No matter the number of breaths, the Prince no longer looks, smells, or feels like himself. And the cruelty of this deception isn’t one I will soon forget. Not with my own mind betraying me—not with it tormenting me like this.
Because the grief of wanting this, yearning for this, without ever being able to have it, is cruelty.
But the longer I sense it is Varic who holds me—the longer I feel him, smell him, nearly taste him—I have to wonder if this is a kindness to imagine the sorcerer I long to dance with, as the one currently spinning me around the dance floor.
Allowing me this one comfort, because the bittersweet truth for us servants of the Empire is that we will only be able to do so when commanded.
Perhaps this is my mind’s way of keeping me safe. Of making me believe I am spinning before an audience with the one I feel most comfortable. Not the Prince.
My dance partner holds on tight as he spins me in a dramatic sweep. Enthusiastic applause rises from the crowd while I allow myself this brief moment of delusion-induced happiness.
The musical notes slow as I lean into the hand supporting my back, arching from one side to the next, spinning together seamlessly with the projection of the only sorcerer my heart yearns for over the Prince’s form.
This fantasy allows me to flow through the moves with a confidence I would not be capable of faking so easily.
The swell of music comes to an end, and the amber force-shield rises so high its glow fills my vision, covering my whole body as the vivid projection of Varic fades, along with the joy I felt in its presence.
Prince Auden and I hold our pose as that opalescent barrier prevents our chests from touching, Varic’s magic ensuring that he is the only one to ever truly possess me. The only one to bring the tingling warmth to the most sensitive areas of my body.
The audience roars as we pull apart, so I dip into a curtsy while the Prince bows. He holds my hand when we rise, and I can’t help but marvel at how moments before, this sorcerer felt like him, smelled like him, looked like him.
It all felt so real. I wish it had been.
“I don’t know what spell you’ve cast over me,” the Prince leans in to whisper.
“However, I should like more time to get to know you. Another dance, perhaps? Or would you prefer something more private?” His pupils are still wider than normal, and I can’t help but suspect he might have been dosed with something in the wine he drank before he asked for my hand in this dance.
But what would be the purpose?
Varic catches my eye as my Guards close in. I extract my hand from the Prince’s to grab hold of my skirts, then I force a smile and curtsy. The Prince bows before I stride away to where my Guards and I stood when he first arrived.
Disgust infiltrates my chest with how easy it is to behave in such a manipulative fashion, regardless of its purpose—a trait I did not wish to inherit. Ensuring the Prince remains intrigued with me as I make him wonder. Make him wait.
Walking is a challenge after so much spinning, taking far more focus to remain upright.
Cool mist casts up my spine, carrying Cirin’s signature blue as it spreads out to reinvigorate my tired limbs.
His Majesty’s piercing gray eyes find and pin mine.
A chill of a different kind rolls down my body as he tracks my movement.
Murmurs and muted conversation follow us, as do the eyes of every esteemed guest. Cloying in their attention—pressing in and crushing my ribs—until the Emperor’s own gaze falls away and I can finally pull in a breath, taking my place in the center of the five-pointed star made up of my Guards.