Chapter Eighty-Two #3
One of his cheeks lifts higher than the other, indicating his smirk.
“Impossibly bright brown.”
“Good, what else?” He strokes his thumb along my jaw as I resist the urge to turn and press my lips to his skin in thanks for him offering me all of this pointed attention.
I force out a breath and become drawn into the vortex that is Varic. With memories, fantasies, needs, hopes, and dreams all intertwining with our yearning and grief, our healing and depression, the laughter, admiration, fear, and compassion—all of it.
It’s all there.
Everything.
Our whole story—past, present, and future—is held inside of him.
My muscles quake, and his thumb presses his message, with the corner of my lips ticking up once he reaches the fourth pulse. I stare back in appreciation of his silent, private method of claiming me as his.
“What else?” he repeats his question.
“You.” My tone is resolute. “I see you, mei swul. Mei gema.”
Varic’s expression contains multitudes, transforming faster than I can receive every detail.
Then, for what can only be described as a pinprick point in time, we know.
We become the only two beings who can, as a chasm opens wide and we dive in, without sparing a thought to what’s on the other end.
Because a decision is made. An awareness laid bare.
And while I should feel terrified—I should feel scared—instead I feel bolstered by the trust and respect he offers me.
Carrying the hope we have clung to through the toughest of trials, proving our connection is worth every fight.
That what Varic and I have is worth every risk.
His fingertips graze the skin along my neck as he grasps my chin, holding me so preciously, expressing what a thousand words couldn’t.
A shiver courses down my skin as he strokes a line over my bottom lip, intensifying the flush rising from the center of my chest.
“Where is she?” Emperor Aldritch screams from the hallway.
My heart lurches, and my breaths are more shallow than before.
“They must have taken her to freshen up,” Drusilla reports, apparently having returned to the hall from the Throne Room—or perhaps she never fully entered it.
“She’d better be taking a piss, or she’ll regret every second she’s leaving me waiting!” he exclaims.
Varic’s eyes lock on each of my Guards before he nods in confirmation of some message, dropping his hands to intertwine his fingers with mine.
“Tasch, if you can’t—”
I tip my chin up in answer. “I must,” I say, though my voice is hers.
His face falls, and I want to catch it. To relive the surreal moment we just shared. Where I could sense our souls were entangled in such a way we could never be parted.
Not really. Not forever.
Cirrin offers his hand, and I take it, reveling in the comforting warmth. The hands of a healer. The one most capable of knowing what is needed, aside from Varic.
“Every act of bravery has consequences.” Cirrin’s voice is somber as his kind brown eyes find mine, and I allow myself to focus on them, despite the yelling in the hall just outside.
“There will be a cost to the actions we take to free the citizens.” A knot forms in my throat, though I nod, knowing he is only being honest. “When we say ‘we do this for them’, we do not mean without anguish. We will do what we can to help prevent as much damage as possible, and we must accept there will be devastation, or we will never achieve freedom.”
Tears spring anew as my lips quirk to the side from his wisdom. “But you don’t understand. May, she’s just like me, I—”
“You taught her a valuable skill. You helped her to understand whom she can trust, and whom to be wary of. You know where my family comes from. You know how my ancestors were deceived.” I nod and acknowledge all that he’s taught me.
“We each agreed with your need to make the young witch pretend you were doing as the Emperor commanded. We all stood by you and were party to the action, just like we have been with every execution, for we have been working toward the moment when we will no longer live under such tyranny. And I need you to understand this, or I fear we are all doomed.”
I laugh, despite the sobs shaking my form as Cirrin squeezes my hand.
“We will make a new world, together.” He leans forward for emphasis.
I press my lips together. “How are you always so eloquent?” He laughs, and I squeeze his hand back. “Thank you, Cirrin.”
“You’re worth it,” he whispers with a sly smile as he releases me to return to Fray’s side.
Varic’s gaze captures mine with a mix of concern and admiration while I linger within the privacy of the safe room until a tingling sensation courses through my chest, beginning in the center of my heart and reaching down to my stomach.
“We do this for them.” Varic’s tone somehow matches the resolution in my expression.
Cirrin claps him on the shoulder. “We endure for the citizens’ right to a better life.”
“We can do this—for them,” Fray claims.
“All in?” Varic asks.
Our voices rise in unison, bolstering me for the spectacle ahead. “We do this for them.”