Chapter Eighty-Seven #2
“No.” He shakes his head for emphasis.
“Okay. I’ll try not to be either.”
Fray’s chuckle brings a small smile to my face. “And I have nothing but confidence in your ability to succeed in this endeavor.”
I smack his chest with the back of my hand, and my fingertips sting so much I shove them under my arms to try to find some warmth.
“Thank you,” I say, nearly under my breath.
“What for?”
“Vowing to give your life to protect mine.”
“Oh, that? Nah, it’s a privilege. Just look at this beautiful life I get to live.” He gestures to the eerie scene around us.
I smack his chest again for good measure. “Can you please be serious?”
He lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “Debatable.”
I let out a breath, then admit, “I love you. You know that?”
He turns to look at me until the pale line of skin around his eyes reflects the light as he expels a cloud of breath through the black fabric. “I do. And I hope you know that I love you, too.”
My mouth quirks to the side, yet my discerning Guard narrows his eyes.
“Out with it.”
I pause and make him wait for my response. “I never told Hendry the same.”
“What, that you loved him?” He nudges me, and I nod. “And you don’t think he knew?”
My shoulders rise in a shrug.
“I can promise you, he knew.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because you know he loved you without needing to hear him say it.”
I part my lips to speak, but he beats me to it.
“Just like we all know, which means you do not need to mourn the fact you have not told the others. You will get the opportunity to do so soon, if you choose. But please don’t blurt it out right when you see them. I wouldn’t want Lars to get an even bigger head than he has.”
“And you are absolutely going to brag about how I said it to you first.”
“From here until the end of time.” His cheeks rise higher. “Especially to Varic.”
My jaw drops while I think back and realize he is correct. How I have never outright stated this to Varic. Or to anyone else before this.
I turn and narrow my eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, I am absolutely going to let him know that I won.”
“Won what?”
“Only the best prize in existence.”
“Which is?”
“Your heart, of course.”
“What? This beaten-down, broken thing?”
“The very same.”
“Yours is just as broken, though, isn’t it? I suppose it’d have to be to want any part of this bruised organ.”
“If not more.”
I shake my head. “You’ve been spending too much time around Varic.”
“Why do you say that?”
“His flirtatious habit is rubbing off on you.”
Fray’s muscles tense. “I’m so sorry. I did not mean to—”
A plume of mist bursts from me as I laugh. “Fray, I mean this with kindness, but you could never convince me you have any designs on me whatsoever.”
He nods in relief. “Good, because I didn’t even think—”
“I know.” I place my hand on his arm to pull his attention away from the swaying trees. “That’s what makes it so endearing.”
He smiles faintly before his expression falls and his eyes convey something more serious. “I guess I’d better stop stalling and allow you to explain what you mentioned just before we landed.”
I swallow with the need for water, then clear my throat to deliver the least terrifying news of the evening.
“Since it seems you were bespelled, you may not have heard the Emperor’s plans to conquer the Continent.
” Fray’s eyes widen as I continue, “Which he claims will require eyes and ears across the land. Therefore, he has decided to wed me and bed me in order to sire heirs, who will act as his court leaders within the different regions.”
Fray’s expression is one of pure murder. “Shit, Tasch. This is worse than I ever thought him capable. And you’re sure this wasn’t a fever dream? That you weren’t the one bespelled instead of me?”
“No, but I wish that were possible.”
“I just don’t understand how he achieved it.”
“Immortality? He had to have discovered the answer when we were in Annovia.”
“Yes, but if no one else has ever uncovered the secret, it can’t have been simple.”
“That’s what I would have assumed. However, if Wyrth was close, and they only needed one ingredient not grown in our soil, or one key spell—something we wouldn’t have any way to know—it is possible.”
“I suppose by that logic, anything is. But could he have been bluffing? Could he just be using this to convince you not to fight when it comes to marrying him? Couldn’t this all be a ploy to keep you closer?”
“How did you know he said the part about wanting to keep me closer?”
“I didn’t. It’s just so obvious that is his intention.”
“He also means to make me immortal, so I might serve at his side—as well as his bed—birthing heirs for him in perpetuity.”
“No.” Fray vehemently shakes his head. “Fuck that. I’m glad I got you out when I did.”
“Now we just need the others to join us.”
“And to get you far away from Ampara Deicra, and his influence.”
“What if he can’t die, Fray? Is there any point to us running away, or are we needlessly bringing war to any land that helps us?”
“Oh, we will find a way to decimate him. I promise. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”
We each pull in a deep breath as we cast our attention to the undulating fog, bolstered by one another’s presence as we wait for a sign—a glimmer—anything to indicate our missing sorcerers have come back to us.
The chill has settled so deep within my bones, it feels as if it has crept inside and frozen my marrow. Tears crystallize along my lashes, and my teeth chatter, adding to the pressure mounting in my skull.
Steam coils before Fray’s face as he tugs on my sleeve before he slowly stalks over to the trees. I follow him, while tossing my gaze back with the refusal to miss any sign of my Guards’ arrival.
Fray gestures for me to step closer to where he rests his back against the widest tree trunk. “We need to preserve any warmth we have left. You can stand in front of me so I can wrap my arms around you; that way we can still see the sky clearly.” He clears his throat. “If you’re comfortable with—"
“Yes, Fray, I am comfortable with you holding me, just like you did the whole way here.”
“That’s not the same. You weren’t given a choice then.”