9. Lakynn
LAKYNN
R iven said he needed to check out the cabin to make sure there were no unwelcome surprises, no threats hiding in the corners. We leave town in the morning, but he wanted to stop by the family cabin for the night. I know he’s eliminated anyone who would want to hurt me, so I figure he wants to surprise me with something, so I didn’t argue. Instead, I told him I’d walk down to the pond, just behind the trees. He didn’t fight me on it and just said he could see me from the front porch.
And now I’m here and the adrenaline of everything that’s happened today is finally wearing off. It almost doesn’t feel real. That he came back. That he chose me. My heart still hasn’t caught up. Part of me is waiting to wake up, to find out this is all some fever dream built from loneliness and desperation of missing him.
I spent the last few months preparing for the worst. I imagined him dead. I imagined him walking away. I imagined the hollow ache of never knowing what really happened to the only person who ever made me feel safe.
But he’s here. He’s real. And somehow, that’s even scarier than the empty ache.
The frozen pond glitters under the moonlight, surrounded by evergreens and the silence that I crave. It’s the kind of silence that sinks into your bones. It’s not eerie, just deep. Heavy.
I used to love this place. Back when everything made a little more sense. Back when Riven and Farmer Miller’s son would come out here after dinner, roughhousing with hockey sticks and no helmets, throwing punches and shoulder checks like they were destined for the pros. I’d sit on the bench with hot tea and my heart in my throat, pretending I was only there to make sure they didn’t end up doing anything dangerous.
But it was always him.
Even then, it was always just that I wanted to be close to Riven. I wrap my arms around myself and breathe in deep. I hear him before I see him. Boots crunching. A breath behind me. Then a soft thump as something lands in the snow beside me.
I glance down.
My old skates.
I turn, and there he is holding out his old brown jacket, the one I used to wear on nights like this. He’s holding it like it’s made of gold, because it really is.
“Looks like you found the perfect spot,” he says.
My throat tightens.
He helps me into the jacket, his fingers brushing my arms, steady and warm. Then he kneels and starts unlacing my boots like it’s his job to take care of me. Like nothing has changed between us.
Riven’s head is bowed low, the ends of his hair brushing the collar of his jacket, and his fingers work slowly, precisely. There’s something almost reverent about the way he handles me, like I’m made of glass, but he’s not afraid to hold tight.
I watch him, my breath catching. He glances up briefly, and our eyes meet. The heat in his gaze turns my spine liquid. He laces me into my skates, then shrugs off his own coat and sits down on the old bench, and that’s when I notice the other pair of much bigger skates in the snow.
He works quickly and then takes my hand. Without a word, we step onto the ice together.
It takes a second to find my balance. My blades scrape awkwardly at first, and I feel like a baby deer learning how to stand. Riven steadies me without hesitation, his hands bracketing my waist, thumbs grazing just under the hem of my borrowed jacket.
"Easy," he murmurs, his breath warm against my temple. "I’ve got you."
And the words have so much more meaning than what’s on the surface.
He nudges us into motion slowly, guiding me forward as he skates backward with ease. His body stays close to mine, just enough space to tease me into craving more of his touch, his heat.
“You haven’t changed,” I whisper. He really hasn’t. He feels like the most peace I’ve ever known in my life.
He leans in closer, his nose brushing along my neck, his mouth grazing my jaw.
"Neither have you. Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he tells me reverently, and I believe every single word.
My heart twists when he presses a kiss behind my ear and breathes, “Fuck, I missed you so much. You have no idea.”
I let out a laugh, “You’re joking, right? I think I have some idea, big guy.”
I expect him to glower down at me for my teasing tone, but he doesn't. “I can’t stop thinking about taking you inside,” he says suddenly, voice rough with heat and want. “But if I do it now, it won’t be gentle. You deserve gentle. You deserve perfect.”
I blink up at him, startled. I open my mouth to say… I don’t know what I want to say, but it feels like I need to reassure him that I want him in any way that I can have him.
He shakes his head as if he knows what I’m thinking. “I don’t want to fuck you. Not for our first time. I want to take my time with you. Make you comfortable, make sure you enjoy it enough to let me have you again. I want you every hour of every day, baby. I’ll never get enough of you.”
I suck in a breath, heart thudding in my chest.
“I don’t think I’ll know what to do. I haven’t–” I say before I can stop myself, suddenly feeling very insecure that the only experience I have is the whirlwind of what happened between Riven and I today. “You must have found comfort in someone? Someones?” I laugh at how silly the plural sounds, and I hate that my voice is shaking. I don’t really want to know, but the words are already out there hanging over us.
He stops skating and this time he actually does glower at me like I’ve offended his sensibilities in some way.
“There’s something you need to understand,” he says, gripping my jaw gently. His voice is low. “There’s never been anyone else. Not one. I didn’t touch anyone. I didn’t even look. It’s always been you, Lake. It will always only be you.”
His words knock the breath out of me. I don’t have time to recover because he leans in and kisses me. It’s slow and aching, like he’s making up for every minute we lost.
Riven’s lips are warm and hungry, but not rough. His mouth molds to mine, coaxing, claiming. His hand slides around the back of my neck, anchoring me, and his other flattens across my spine.
My knees go weak. My body responds before my mind can. I want to rise onto my toes, to press closer somehow, but my current footwear situation won’t allow it. I let him guide the pace and melt into him because there’s no other option. Riven does something to me, and I know with every nerve ending in my body that no one else could make me feel like this.
He groans softly into my mouth, and it rips through me. It’s raw and possessive. Like I belong to him. Like I always have.
When he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeps across mine, hot and addicting. My skin is on fire. My blood feels absolutely electric pumping through my veins.
If he lowered me to the ice and took me here, I wouldn’t stop him. But he pulls back first, resting his forehead against mine, both of us breathless.
I melt into him even further for a moment, my fingers curling into his jacket. When I pull away, it’s only because I have to. My lips are swollen. My fingers tremble. My whole body feels scorched, rewired somehow in the best possible way.
I’ve wanted this kind of kiss from Riven for so long, but there was always something stopping us. Tonight? There’s no more distance. No more waiting.
I’m his and he’s mine. For the first time in what feels like forever, I actually believe it. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t make him work for it. I smile up at him and then I push off and skate away.
He scowls, making me laugh. God, I haven’t laughed or felt carefree in so long. Have I ever felt this way? I don’t think so.
The cold rushes past me as I skate. I fly to the edge of the pond, toward the bench because I have an idea, and I suspect he’s going to love it. Snowflakes whip across my cheeks and melt into my hair. I feel breathless. Light, almost like I’ve finally outrun the weight that’s been sitting on my chest.
When I reach the bench, I collapse onto it, unlacing and then kicking off my skates with numb fingers. My tennis shoes are stiff, the leather half-frozen, but I manage to tug them on. I probably shouldn’t bother because they’re not going to be much protection for what I have in mind.
I glance out at the pond again. Riven has skated closer and he’s watching my every move. He’s just standing there, silhouetted by moonlight, chest rising and falling. His arms are down, but his entire body is coiled like a loaded spring.
My stomach flips. It’s wild to feel so safe… while being hunted. Because that’s what I want him to do to me tonight, and I can tell he’s going to enjoy it immensely.
I remember the first time we ever wrestled in the snow behind the barn. He tackled me into a drift and pinned my wrists above my head. He grinned down at me, breathing hard. And I’d known then and there that Riven likes the chase.
When he finally starts walking toward me, his eyes are trained on me like I’m his favorite fucking sin. He doesn’t say a word as he sits next to me, taking his skates off and reaching for his shoes.
“Give me a head start,” I say, breathless, as I stand up. “It’ll make it more fun.”
He narrows his eyes. “Make what more fun?” He knows, but he wants me to say it and I’ll give him anything he wants.
“You can’t lie to me, Riven.” I smirk, unzipping the jacket he let me borrow. “You don’t want our first time to be sweet and slow.”
I shrug the jacket off my shoulders and toss it toward him, watching his gaze darken as it hits him square in the chest. “You want to chase me into the woods,” I continue, voice lowering to something silkier, a tone I didn’t know I was capable of. “You want to hear me beg, see me try to escape, make me yours in the most primal way. You told me that, and I’ve decided that I want that too, Riven.”
His eyes flare, but he doesn’t comment.
“I want you to chase me,” I whisper. “I want to be the only thing you desire. I want you to lose control. Snap. Take me.”
My breath catches, but I speak before he can say anything, “I want you to take what’s always been yours.”
He doesn't move, but something shifts behind his eyes. He looks like he’s barely restrained. He takes one step forward, then stops himself, fists clenching at his sides.
“Baby,” he breathes, voice tight and raw, “you don’t know what you’re asking for.”
I hold his gaze, chest rising and falling. I do know. I’ve always known deep down Riven would be wild like this, and I’m ready for it.
“If I let go,” he continues, jaw ticking, “if I chase you... when I catch you, I won’t be able to slow down. I won’t be able to be soft or gentle like you deserve.”
“I don’t want gentle, Riven. I want you.”
He’s breathing harder now, like every word is harder to get out. He looks like he’s about to short circuit. “I don’t think you understand how much I crave you. How long I’ve dreamed of sinking into you, tasting you, ruining you. I need to?—”
I cut him off, voice steady, low. “I want you, Riven. Raw. Unfiltered. I want the real you.”
I take one final step back, snow crunching under my heel.
“Give me what you’ve got.”
His eyes drop to my mouth. His chest expands like he’s holding back a war cry. I swear I see his hand twitch at his side, like he’s fighting the instinct to grab me. My pulse hammers in my throat because this is it, it’s finally going to happen.
And the worst part? I want him to lose it because of me. I want him to give in. I want to feel his control break.
My stomach tightens at the thought of him catching me, of him pressing me into the snow with his full weight, panting against my ear, telling me I’m his.
“I’m going to run now,” I feel silly saying it, but it’s not like I have much practice in baiting a hunter.
Riven doesn’t respond.
He just starts counting.
"Ten."
"Nine."
I take off running.
Snow crunches under my shoes as I dart into the tree line, and my breath is sharp and white in the cold. The wind stings my cheeks, but I barely feel it because adrenaline floods my veins, pulsing with the knowledge of what’s about to happen. I glance back just once to see him still standing at the edge of the pond, his hands at his sides, fists clenched. He's letting me run. Letting me believe I might actually get away.
But I know better.
I know Riven Kozlov. I know what it looks like when the monster comes alive inside him.
And he’s awake now.