Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
I’m still seething by the time I get back into my classroom—but I’m a teacher first and foremost, so I make sure my bright smile is present on my face as I greet my brand-new class.
Their eyes are all lit up and hopeful, which helps calm my rage slightly. I mean, who the hell does he think he is? Just because I had a teeny tiny little crush on him in high school—and he had absolutely no idea I even existed—he thinks that I’ll be mean to his child?
I mean—okay, so I was a little bitter and maybe a little short with Kade on meet-the-teacher night, but I would never take it out on a child. It makes me boil on the inside that he could even think that about me.
Which makes no sense at all, I understand, because he doesn’t know me. He has no reason to know I’m not going to be a prick to Elijah—but he should. He just should.
I manage to quell my rage slightly and introduce myself again to the whole class and then suggest they each take a turn stating their names and one fact about themselves.
“It can be anything you want. Favorite food. Favorite color. Doesn’t have to be a favorite anything.
You can tell us about your pets or your hopes and dreams,” I say whimsically as I walk around the room—the excitement I felt this morning getting ready for school coming back.
The first little girl—Rosalynn—raises her hand and proudly tells us about losing a tooth the night before. The kids ooh and ahh when she tells them about the five-dollar bill under her pillow today when she woke up.
The next child is Xander. He tells us about his parents getting a new horse and pig over the summer and how much the pig stinks, but he still loves him anyway.
When I get to Elijah, I notice he looks a little nervous, his big green eyes looking at me. I offer him a smile that I hope comforts him. “Okay, Elijah, your turn. You can tell us anything at all.”
He looks around the room, wiggling in his seat. “Um... I’m Elijah Mitchell.” I smile, encouraging him to go on. “Um... my mom’s dead.” Well okay, that’s not what I expected him to say, but I did tell him he can tell us anything. “And my dad died this summer too.”
My eyes widen, and I hear a few gasps in the classroom.
I’m not sure what he means though. Is Kade not his father?
I try to think back to our meeting. I don’t know if I specifically asked or he said.
I just assumed. But Megan was pregnant in high school, and they were dating—and while Elijah doesn’t really look like Kade—he for sure looks like Megan.
Her blonde hair and green eyes are prevalent in the child.
Did she cheat on Kade? Is he not the biological father?
My head is spinning. “Kade isn’t your dad?” I ask before I can even call it back.
Elijah doesn’t seem to be thrown off by my question though. “He is.”
Okay, now I’m really confused, but I’m not sure I can really discuss this around a bunch of first graders. “He was here this morning, Elijah,” I say gently.
He just shrugs his little shoulders and looks down at his desk, using his finger to draw on the smooth surface. “He died.”
Okay. So yeah, I can’t really unpack this right now, and it’s clear Elijah is done talking, so I reluctantly move on to the next student, who thankfully wants to talk about going to a water park this summer.
I make a note to talk to Kade about it today after school though, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. It’s clear Elijah is struggling, and whether Kade knows it or not, that makes it my business. And I do care.
It’s not Kade who picks up Elijah at the end of the day though—it’s his older brother Bowen. I recognize him from school. He’s not really one you can forget. While Kade was always pretty quiet, Bowen was the absolute opposite.
Large, loud, and obnoxious. The jock type I went out of my way to avoid in school. But I watch as he embraces his nephew with large, tattooed arms, and I can see the love there instantly.
“Hey, buddy! Good day?”
Elijah nods his head and smiles at his uncle, but he doesn’t look all that happy. It’s not that he’s a sad kid exactly—but for only seven years old, it’s pretty clear he already has some pretty big demons to battle.
Bowen’s eyes meet mine, and I notice they’re the same shade of blue as his brother’s, except Bowen’s have a certain bit of mirth behind them where Kade’s are more serious. “Hey, I’m Bowen Mitchell. Elijah’s uncle.” He holds his hand out for me, which definitely wouldn’t have happened in school.
Not a chance. Just like Kade, I highly doubt Bowen even knew I was alive.
I meet his handshake. “Spencer Bell. I’m Elijah’s teacher.”
“Right,” he says as our hands part, and he studies me. “Kade said we all went to school together.”
“We did.”
“Huh. I don’t remember you at all.” I have to fight with my eyes so they don’t roll. He’s a blunt asshole, but at least he’s honest.
“That doesn’t surprise me at all.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, Kade said you were one of the nerds in school, so it makes sense we didn’t hang out with the same people.”
My entire body goes stiff, and I feel that rage bubbling through me, but the weird thing is it wasn’t an insult. I don’t think. I don’t think he’s actually trying to be an asshole. It’s like he’s just stating a simple fact.
It’s strange, but mostly I hate that it hurts that that’s how Kade described me. Does he actually remember me? And that’s how he saw me—which may be worse. God, I need to get a grip. Who cares what the Mitchell brothers thought about me in school?
“Hey, you okay? I didn’t mean that in a bad way.” He actually looks a little freaked-out and I clear my throat, stiffening my stance and forcing a smile.
“Of course, I’m okay. But I do need to talk to you for a moment in private.”
Bowen looks down at his nephew and then motions to the playground at the side of the school. “Can you go play for a minute, buddy? I’ll be right there.”
Elijah nods his head slowly but looks hesitant to leave at first before he walks over to the swings and sits on one.
“Look, man. When I said nerd, I don’t see that as like a bad thing. You were one of the smart kids. That’s all?—”
I hold up my hand to stop him from talking because I really don’t want to go down that road. “No, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I was going to talk to Kade, but since he’s not here, I’ll ask you.”
“Yeah, he’s on his first twenty-four-hour shift today. He’ll be back tomorrow to pick him up from school.”
“Twenty-four-hour shift?” I ask, confused. That’s a long shift.
Bowen just nods his head like it’s nothing. “Twenty-four on, forty-eight off. Life of a fireman.”
“Kade is a fireman?” I didn’t know that, but why would I? All I knew when he left was that he didn’t have a plan for college—only because of the senior year wrap-up we all filled out before we left.
“We both are,” he says confidently, and that makes sense, I suppose. Both brothers are well-built, strong men, and Bowen has the sort of cockiness I’d expect a firefighter to need. Not that I think that’s a bad thing. What I mean is it takes a lot of confidence to run into a burning building.
“Oh.”
Bowen is studying me carefully now. “Is that what you wanted to talk about? Kade not being here? Because trust me, while I’m sure you see me as a fuckboy, and you wouldn’t be wrong,”—he points in the direction of his nephew—“when it comes to that kid, I’m more than capable.
” Seems I’ve inadvertently struck a nerve with Bowen.
“That’s not it at all,” I say honestly. I can tell how much Bowen loves Elijah. No questions here. “I’m worried because when we were going around the class and introducing ourselves, Elijah said his father died.”
I watch Bowen’s expression completely change, and he winces. “Fuck.”
I nod my head solemnly—the teacher in me wanting to tell him to watch his mouth since there are still kids around waiting to be picked up—but I feel his sentiment.
“Kade fell through a floor a few months ago in a fire. He was pretty banged-up.” I can’t hide the horror I feel thinking about that. “But he’s fine. My brother is tough as hell. But Elijah took it hard.”
I nod my head grimly. “I can’t imagine.”
“Yeah, it didn’t help that his dumbass babysitter didn’t know what the hell to do and didn’t tell him Kade was fine. He spent a long time that day thinking his dad was dead.”
“Jesus,” I say in shock, and Bowen looks angry. I can’t blame him for that. “What about counseling?”
“Elijah still goes once a week. His counselor says he’s processing everything, but it takes time. I think Kade said he’ll still be going every Friday after school.”
I’m glad the child is getting help. That’s a lot to go through as a child. It would be hard for an adult.
“Hey. Look, Spencer...” Bowen grabs my attention at the sound of his tentative voice. “If I did something to you in high school that could make you?—”
“Don’t,” I snap quickly because if he accuses me of being unkind to Elijah like Kade did this morning, I’ll lose my shit. “You didn’t do anything, and Elijah is a great kid who I’ll make sure has an amazing year in my classroom.”
He grins at me, the right side of his mouth kicking up in a happy smirk. “So it was Kade who has you all pissy?”
“What? No. I’m not pissy,” I sputter, flustered.
“What did he do?” He looks way too amused by this as he nudges my arm with his. “You can totally tell me.”
“He didn’t do anything.”
“Come on...” he pushes, and I roll my eyes with a huff.
“Goodbye, Mr. Mitchell. I’ll see you later.”
He just cackles at that—totally unbothered because I don’t think anything has ever bothered Bowen in his life—and then goes to collect his nephew.
Elijah gives me a sweet little wave, and I wave goodbye back to him before I bump into Janelle heading back to my classroom. “Okay, who the hell was that? Because good lord.”
“Are you forgetting you’re a married woman?”
“Married. Not dead,” she singsongs as we walk into the building together.
“It’s Bowen Mitchell.”
Her eyes light up, and she stops, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face her. “Mitchell. As in Kade Mitchell?”
See, this is why you shouldn’t have a ton of margaritas at the Mexican restaurant with your best friend—you end up confessing your life story. Even a stupid little crush from high school. “Bowen is his older brother.”
“Oh my God,” she says, her eyes wide and scandalized.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Yes, it is. If his brother looks like that— phew .” She waves her hand over her face, and I can’t hide my smile, even though I’m trying to be annoyed. “Kade must be just as gorgeous.”
Even more so. But I don’t say that out loud, thank God. “They’re fine,” I say, wiggling away from her and walking toward my classroom again.
“Fine?” she scoffs as she follows me into my classroom. “Fine? That boy is so much more than fine. I mean, I guess he’s fiiiiiine .” She emphasizes the word, and I snort a laugh.
“Should I call your husband?”
She laughs and sits down in one of the chairs as I busy myself cleaning up the room. “I think he’d agree.”
“Yeah, well this may be a shocker, but Bowen didn’t remember me at all and did remind me that Kade thought I was a total nerd.”
She shrugs, waving that off. “You are a nerd.” I cock my head to the side, and she cackles. “A totally hot, adorable nerd. Nerds are in.”
I roll my eyes at that, but she does make me smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m a teacher. That’s the only relationship I have to the Mitchell brothers now—as Elijah’s teacher.”
“Whatever you say, dear,” she mocks me, and I toss an eraser at her.
She laughs it off, and I’m grateful for the banter with her—it keeps my mind off my stupid high-school crush, the fact that I was a nerdy, sad kid in school, and the little boy who’s going through more pain than I could ever even imagine.
Though that last one is something I don’t want to ever totally forget. I want to help him heal however I can, and I’m determined to do it.