Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I told myself to take it slow. To take it easy. Maybe talk for a while. Chat about the last two days since we were together in my house.
Maybe we’d kiss goodnight before he leaves.
I wasn’t sure. Thought we could just play it by ear.
But here I am... completely naked under him, kissing him hard as his naked body lies on top of mine, his hard, covered cock sliding against my bare, leaking cock.
I just came, but I’m already quickly approaching another orgasm.
I need him inside me more than I need my next breath. I’ve been with plenty of guys, but it’s never been like this.
I don’t know what to do with that fact, but I also can’t think clearly as I hold my legs open with both of my hands and silently beg him to finally get inside me. Put that beautiful cock deep inside me already.
He chuckles, and it startles me enough to pull back from the kiss to look at him. “What?”
“So impatient.”
“Did I say that out loud?”
He laughs and steals my mouth again, his tongue making me stupid as it swirls around mine. He doesn’t answer my question, but I couldn’t give a fuck when I feel the head of his cock at my hole.
“Yes, please.” I release one of my legs, but keep it spread open as I trail my fingers down his back and to his ass. I grip his right cheek and try to pull him into me.
“Don’t want to hurt you.” His nose brushes against mine.
“You won’t. I promise. I might die if you don’t get inside me though, so you should feel bad about that, if anything.”
He laughs again, his mouth brushing over mine. “So fucking dramatic.”
“Uh-huh,” I say, pulling him against me again, and he finally starts to push inside.
It burns—of course it does—it’s been a while since I’ve had anyone inside me, and his cock is definitely an above-average size.
I relish the burn, letting my head tip back and my eyes close as I take in every inch of him.
He finally slides home, his balls resting against my ass, but he doesn’t move once he does.
“Kade. I swear to fuck.” I open my eyes and look at him but quickly notice his entire body is rigid—all his muscles are pulled tight as he struggles to stay in control.
“Don’t move.” he gasps, and I remain still. “Fuck, you’re tight. So hot and tight,” he says, like he can’t believe it. And then he kisses me hard, his hips pulling back and slamming home.
We both grunt and curse. I drop my other leg to wrap my arms around him, our bodies moving together as he pushes into me, filling me to the brim and stretching me in the most euphoric way.
My head hits the padded headboard, but I just hold onto him, kissing him as he nails my prostate over and over with the head of his cock. My hands make their way to his ass, and I feel it flex each time he pushes into me.
I can feel my orgasm racing down my spine and hope he’s close.
From the way his cock jerks inside me over and over, I assume he is.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Spencer,” he says against my lips before slamming into me again, hitting my prostate and making cum dribble from my hard cock.
It’s trapped between our bodies, and I know without a doubt he’s going to send me over without me having to touch myself.
It’s a good thing too, because I’m not letting go of his firm ass. I hold onto him as he starts to pulse, and he kisses me hard. He releases into the condom, hitting my prostate one last time, and I cry out, cum splashing my stomach and his, our bodies glued together.
He continues to stroke in and out of me slowly, milking every last drop of our release until neither of us can move, and he falls onto my body.
“Wow,” I say on a sort of shocked laugh.
“Yeah. Wow.” He chuckles into my neck. We’re sticky and covered in sweat and cum, but I don’t want to move. I just want him. “Can we shower together?” His voice is a sexy rasp in my ear, and yup, that woke me up.
I nod, and he pulls out of me carefully before getting rid of the condom, then reaching for my hand. I lead him into the bathroom to my shower—which thankfully fits us both because I can’t stop touching him and wanting to be right by him.
I’ve never been this clingy after sex before, but I guess that’s not at all surprising since everything is different with him. We take our time washing each other before we climb out, dicks both half hard, but neither paying that any mind as we dry off and then go back to my bed.
We climb under the covers, and I sidle up to him, letting my head rest on his shoulder when he wraps an arm around me. I know we need to have a really serious talk, and I also know he likely needs to leave soon, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.
I just lie there in his arms, feeling more content and safer than I ever have. Knowing damn well it could all come crashing to an end any moment now and not knowing how to hang onto it.
His hand strokes over my arm, and I can feel the awkwardness in the air. Both of us probably thinking about the same thing—how this can’t last. It’s Kade who opens his mouth first though. “You know, Elijah was hyper as fuck, thanks to your pudding and gummy worms yesterday.”
That’s not at all what I expected him to say, and I laugh, looking up at his face and seeing he’s not actually mad at all about me giving his kid so much sugar at the end of the day. But it breaks through the awkwardness too. “Hey, it was for science.”
“Suuure,” he laughs and hugs me closer to him. “I think you just have a sweet tooth and wanted an excuse.”
I chuckle. “Excuse you. I’m an adult, and if I want sugar, I’ll just get it.”
“Terrible influence,” he teases, and I lean up a little to kiss him softly. He kisses me back without any hesitation whatsoever before I pull back and lay my head on his shoulder again.
My mind and body are more relaxed now that he didn’t outright say he had to leave right away or tell me that this was a mistake. For someone who hasn’t ever been with a man, he sure jumped right in.
I waited for him to back out. To say it was too much too fast, but I should have known better with Kade. He’s so genuine and good. And brave. He just dove in and made me forget about all my own insecurities.
“Spence...” My entire body locks up tight at his quiet rumble.
Okay, so maybe I spoke too soon. This is where he blows me off.
I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want to acknowledge him right now.
Maybe I can pretend I’m asleep and hang onto this a little longer.
“Spencer,” he says it again. “Look at me.”
I feel like I’m moving in slow-motion, but I do manage to tilt my head enough to look into his pretty blue eyes. “Yeah?”
He grips my chin with his hand, keeping my eyes on his. “I understand you can’t let anyone know about this. I get it. Completely. And I don’t blame you at all.”
Wait. What? He’s worried about me?
“I know it’s complicated and messy. I know I’m a father, and my first priority will always be with my son.”
“And it should,” I quickly add. I’d never want to hurt his relationship with his son in any way. Ever.
He smiles and keeps his hold on my chin. “I know you have to think about your job, and I want that for you. You should be able to date whoever you want, but I know that’s not really the world we live in.”
I shake my head slightly, but don’t pull out of his hold. “It sucks.”
“It does,” he agrees. “But I’ve never felt like this before, and I don’t want to lose it. We can keep it to ourselves. No one needs to know, but I’m not ready to let this go.”
I think about it for a moment because I’m not either—but it’s the unspoken part that kills me. He’s not ready to let it go now, and neither am I, but eventually, we’ll have to.
“Hey.” I realize my eyes aren’t on him and jerk my attention back to him. “I don’t ever want to let it go, but it’s not just my decision. Your job matters. My son matters. It’s complicated, more than it needs to be, but I want to find a way.”
“You want to be with me?” I ask dumbly, and he scoffs, smiling and shaking his head at me as he brings my mouth to his and kisses it.
“Yes. I want you. Can we just take it slow? See where it goes, and I promise you we’ll be careful when we aren’t tucked in here.”
I nod, in complete and total shock, my heart filling with hope because I want nothing more. “I want that. I want you too, Kade.”
His smile is blinding as he pulls back and then releases my chin, letting me snuggle into his side. “Good.”
“Are you coming to the Halloween party next week?” I choose a safe subject because I don’t want to talk this to death. I want him for as long as I can get him, and it seems the feeling is mutual.
That’s all I really need right now.
“Yup. Bowen too.”
I chuckle. “God help us.”
He laughs and squeezes me to him.
It’s comfortable and warm, lying here with him like this. No doubt, it’s going to get dicey at some point, but for now, I’m going to just let this happen and hope with everything I have that I have the strength to hold onto him when it gets rough.