Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Is Mr. Bell coming over for Christmas?” Elijah asks me—totally randomly as he shovels cereal into his mouth.
Bowen looks over at me, amused as all hell. He’s been home from the hospital for a week, and the man has been insufferable. He wants to go back to work, and I’m this close to dropping his ass off at the fire station, despite what his doctor and the chief say.
We haven’t really talked about Spencer being with me at the hospital—or about where I sneak off to as often as I can—but I know he knows. “Oh yes. Please tell me Mr. Bell is coming.”
I toss a piece of cereal at my brother, and the asshole catches it in his mouth effortlessly. “Don’t say his name like that.”
“Like what?” Elijah asks, cocking his head to the side curiously.
“Uh... nothing. Go grab your backpack, okay? We need to head out, and I don’t know about Christmas yet.”
He just shrugs, taking one last bite of his cereal before dropping it off at the sink and heading to his room.
“Knock it off,” I say to my brother.
He looks far too amused. “Knock what off? I didn’t do anything.” I scowl at him, and he just laughs before punching me in the shoulder. “I’m happy for you, little brother. And you should invite your boyfriend to Christmas.”
I check behind me, relieved that Elijah isn’t standing there before I look back at Bowen. “Don’t say that stuff around Elijah, okay?”
“So he is your boyfriend?”
I think about Spencer and finally getting to tell him how much I love him. I’ve said it every single time we’ve been together since that night, and it feels like heaven every time. “Yes.”
He’s grinning wide now. “Good. So why are you keeping it from your kid?”
I wince—Bowen hitting a nerve. I want to tell him, but doesn’t that mean Spencer has to out himself at work? Neither of us want Elijah to have to keep it to himself. “It’s complicated,” I say, finishing off my own cereal and escaping to the sink.
Unfortunately, despite him still having a sprained ankle, Bowen is pretty fast. He meets me there.
“It’s really not. Elijah will be thrilled.
He loves that guy. Can’t stop talking about how funny and smart his teacher is.
Obsessed with nerds, that one.” I punch him in the shoulder, and he laughs. “Ow.”
I keep my voice low. “I don’t think he’d have a problem with it, but it’s complicated because Spencer is his teacher.”
That seems to make Bowen think for all of two seconds. “Who cares?”
I huff. “Me. Spencer. Probably the principal.”
“Well, fuck all of you.”
“Ummm!” Of course my kid comes in just at that time. “You said the really bad one.”
Bowen laughs and gives Elijah a hug. “Sorry about that, kid. But your dad is being silly.”
Elijah looks confused but luckily lets me maneuver him toward the door. I wave my middle finger at Bowen behind my back on the way out and hear his laughter behind me.
I can’t deny, though, that he’s in my head. The entire drive, I think about whether it would be so bad if Elijah knew I was dating his teacher. But I refrain from talking to him about it—especially because it’s something Spencer and I need to decide together.
I drop him off at the door and only get a brief glance at my boyfriend, as he’s busy with helping lots of kids into the building.
I don’t miss the quick wink he sends me though, and it fuels the rest of my day and twenty-four-hour shift.
I’m there to pick Elijah up the next afternoon, and while it’s still chaos, I get a moment to talk to Spencer. It’s the start of winter break now. Two full weeks off school, and I can’t leave without knowing I’ll see him way before then.
“You busy tonight?” I ask, clearly surprising him a little, but he doesn’t look around him to see if anyone else is listening. No one is—I already checked—but it’s reassuring that he didn’t need to check.
“I’m not. What do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking dinner.” I look down at Elijah, who looks pleased. “Lasagna.”
“Sounds good to me.” He looks at my son. “What about you? Is it okay if I join you?”
“Yeah! I can show you what I want for Christmas.”
I laugh at that and shake my head, placing my hand on top of his little head. It’s cold out today, but the sun is out, and there’s no snow on the ground. “You’ve been showing me for weeks.”
“Just in case you forget,” Elijah says, looking up at his teacher. “You can remind him.”
Spencer laughs at that and then nods. “Sounds like a great plan.” He looks at me. “Will Bowen be home?”
I nod my head. “Yeah. He’s still off for another week.” I lower my voice a little. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” he says instantly, and relief washes over me. I think we both know this is a huge step, and it makes me happy to know he’s fully in this with me.
“See you around seven?”
“I’ll be there.” He waves to Elijah and me before we walk out to the car, and I start driving us home.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?” I ask as I turn out of the school parking lot.
“Are you and Mr. Bell dating?”
I nearly hit the curb, jerking the car a little before recovering, and look back at my son using the mirror. “What?”
“Are you dating?” he asks pointedly, no messing around. He doesn’t look upset, but his eyes are demanding an answer.
I don’t know what the hell I should say here. I can’t lie to him. I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn’t lie to my kid. “Would you be okay with that?” I ask slowly.
“Yeah,” he answers—kind of like I’m an idiot. Honestly, he reminds me of Tori in that moment. “He’s nice.”
I smile at that. “He is.” I turn off the main road, heading to Bowen’s house as I cautiously approach the next part. “But he is your teacher...”
“So?” And now he sounds like Bowen. Great.
“So... well, I’m not sure if...” I huff, turning into Bowen’s driveway. I park the car and then swivel around to look at him. “I’m a little afraid he could get into trouble for dating me.”
“Oh.” His eyes light up. “So it’s a secret?” He looks far too excited about it being a secret.
“Well, I mean. It doesn’t have to be. It won’t be a secret forever or anything.”
“Okay,” he says, shrugging his little shoulders, and why do I feel like I’ve botched this? I try to think about what Spencer would want me to say and about what my son really needs to hear.
“I don’t want you to think you have to keep it a secret.”
“Why would I tell anyone?” He looks curious, his eyes bright as he studies me.
“Well, if you want to.” Obviously, I don’t want him to, but like Spencer said—he shouldn’t have to keep secrets for us. I won’t put that on him.
“I don’t. Unless I get extra credit?” His eyes go even wider with excitement, and I laugh.
“No,” I laugh. “And do you really need extra credit? Do they even give that out at your age?”
He just cackles. “I don’t know,” he says comically loud, and I just shake my head at him.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I have to check, even though he does seem really okay with it. More than okay. He seems pretty happy about it.
“Yup,” he says, unbuckling and then pushing his door open. “I’m hungry.”
I chuckle as I follow him into the house.
Obviously, I’m going to have to talk to Spencer about this, and I hope he’s okay, but it’s a relief knowing my son is for sure on our side.
It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not fair that it is.
We’ve talked about it a lot off and on. We both want to be a couple wherever we go, but I think I might be even more hesitant than Spencer.
I want to protect him like I should have all those years ago.
I don’t want anything bad to ever touch him again.
But maybe, just maybe I’ve built it up a little more in my head. And just like telling Elijah—people knowing about Spencer being gay isn’t going to be any sort of big deal.