14. Dylan
Chapter 14
Dylan
“ P op, can you put the Porsche in bay two?” I call to my dad as I walk over to my ringing phone.
“Hey, Jake.” My dad looks up and smirks when he hears my greeting and I wave him on, telling him to mind his own business.
“Clear your calendar September twenty-sixth through the twenty-eighth,” Jake says over the line.
“The whole weekend? The concert’s just a couple hours away.”
“I know, but I’ve got something planned. And before you start feeling guilty, I invited Cora, but she can’t go and told me to take you. So we don’t even have to hide,” he says proudly.
I laugh. “Well, I doubt she told you to act on any of the nasty shit that’s undoubtedly in your head, but just going is a good start.”
I look over and see my dad watching me again as he slips out of the Porsche he just pulled in the bay at my request and I try to reign in my excitement a little. I know he’ll be happy for me, but there’s still a long way to go for Jake and I and I’m having a hard enough time keeping my own emotions in check without adding my father’s hopefulness into the mix.
“We’ll figure it out,” Jake says.
“Okay, well count me in and I’ll pay for my half of the hotel and stuff.”
“We’ll talk about it when it gets closer.”
“Fine, but I am paying half the costs.” Lowering my voice, I add, “I’m not in the market for a sugar daddy, Jake.”
“ Fine, Dylan,” he laughs into the phone. “I don’t have a daddy kink anyway.”
Choosing to ignore the comment about his kinks because my father is standing fifteen feet in front of me, no doubt listening to every whispered word, I ask where we’re staying.
“Do you like surprises?” he asks, repeating the question he texted me before the lake.
We’ve already been over this and I know he knows that, so I play along.
“Depends on what it is I guess.”
“Bring your suit, both your bathing suit and your going out suit.”
“What about my birthday suit?” I ask before smacking myself in the forehead. “Shit. Damn. Fuck. Sorry. Not going there.” I see my dad laughing to himself and shaking his head.
“Oh, you’ll definitely need that one, but thankfully it always travels with you.”
“I’ll admit, I’m intrigued.”
“That’s all the information you get. I’ve gotta get back to work. I need to be out of the office by two so I can grab some sleep before clocking into the station at seven.
“Jake?”
“Dylan?”
“Text me when you get to the fire station.”
“Okay,” he pauses and on his next breath, I know exactly what he’s going to say. “ Daddy.”
“Oh my God, Jake. Never again.”
We’re both laughing as we hang up the phone.
My father’s smile has faded and he’s staring at me with a worried expression on his face.
“Out with it,” I tell him, popping the hood on the Porsche to gain access to its air filters.
“Betty and Carl are selling the shop.”
I stand up so fast, I smack my head on the underside of the hood.
“ Ow. Fuck.” Rubbing the back of my head, I turn to my father. “Why?”
“Why do you think? They had two more busted windows this morning and someone slashed the tires of that old pickup they keep out back for hauling their goods.”
“I can’t imagine the street without them on it.”
“They aren’t the only ones. The owners of that bistro put a For Sale sign in the window this morning.”
My dad comes over to the Porsche and props an elbow on the top of the car.
“Dyl, we need to start looking at options. We’ve gotta be realistic. If things don’t turn around, it won’t be safe to stay here anymore. We’re already losing customers and with the increase to our property taxes this year and the new city rules, reducing the number of places we can post signs for advertising, it doesn’t make me excited to sink more money into this place.”
The rational part of my brain knows he’s right, but the emotional side of my brain wants to tell him to fuck all the way off.
I rub the sore spot on the back of my head as he drums his fingers on the metal car and slaps it once with his hand.
“Your sister told me she wants to make some changes. Maybe you and I should follow suit.”
Dammit, Cassie.
“I’m not saying no, but can we talk about this later? I told Mrs. Golding I’d have the Porsche done by four-thirty.
“Sure, son.”
I’m still at the shop just getting cleaned up when my phone dings. I’m fucking starving and I could use a good buzz before having to talk to my dad about the future. Wanting to finish up and head home, I’m all set to ignore the message until I see the name on my screen and remember that Jake is on at the fire station tonight.
Jake 7:42pm
Just got settled
After what happened in his kitchen, I figured I should probably change his name in my phone to his actual name and I’m glad things have moved us in that direction even if I can’t exactly tell which direction that is.
Dylan 7:42pm
What happens next?
Jake 7:42pm
Next at the fire station or next with us?
Dylan 7:43pm
Both?
Jake 7:43pm
Can I just call you?
I call him first instead of texting him back and my smile widens when I hear the huskiness in his short greeting.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
It feels like forever since he called to tell me about the concert this morning.
“Tell me about the fire station,” I demand, not caring at all if my worry for his safety is conveyed openly over the line.
“Well, I’m on with three other guys. Knox is here tonight too, so that’s cool. At our station, the volunteers work twelve-hour shifts. Our full-time guys — that’s Phoenix — work twenty-four hours on, forty-eight hours off.”
“What do you do while you’re there? Can you sleep?”
“Nah. The twenty-four-hour guys can, but us short-shift guys try to clean up the station, stock the fridge with a meal or two, prep the gear, that kind of thing. If we get it all done, we’ll play cards or something.”
“How often do you get called to a fire?”
His deep chuckle over the phone sets me at ease. “Rarely. More often than not, we get called because someone has fallen and broken a hip or something.”
“Isn’t that what EMS does?” I ask, confused about the roles here.
“Sort of, but they provide the life saving measures and we provide the heavy lifting. Every time EMS deploys, so do we because we’re all trained as paramedics as well and it’s important to have enough staff on site for the emergency.”
“Holy shit. That’s hot. Is there anything you don’t do, Jake?”
“Hmm. I don’t fish.”
“Noted,” I chuckle. “What are you wearing?” My need to see him grows stronger with each passing second.
“Gym shorts and a t-shirt.”
“Is it weird that I’m jealous of the guys in the station who can openly stare at you right now?”
“No. Is it weird that turns me on?” he asks back, chewing on something crunchy.
“No,” I exhale and hear him groan before dropping his voice to a whisper.
“Fuck, that sound turns me on even more. I’m getting hard in my shorts. If I walk around the station with a hard-on, these guys will never let me live it down.”
“Especially because you might poke someone’s eye out with that thing.”
“Not helping.” He laughs harder. “When can I see you again? Tell me I don’t have to wait until the concert.”
I don’t want to be the reason he breaks Cora’s heart, but I also can’t leave him to live a lie. I can’t walk away from him, knowing he’s miserable. Knowing I can provide relief. I understand the situation isn’t fair to Cora, but it isn’t fair to Jake, or to me, either.
“I’m slammed at the shop this coming week, but maybe I can get away for a couple hours for dinner?” I offer.
“I either have meetings or I have to be at the fire station every night this week,” he laments before coming back with a terrible idea. “Cora’s got a big event coming up at the club.” He pauses before committing to the next question. “Why don’t you come with me?”
“What? Jake, no way that’s a good idea.”
“You have a better one? Cor won’t mind. She’ll be so busy I’ll end up spending the evening by myself anyway.”
I hesitate even though I already know I’m going to cave. I’m not great at protecting myself when it comes to relationships and truthfully, I’m desperate to see Jake again.
“I’ll run it by her just to make sure,” he says, still trying to convince me.
“You’ll run the idea of bringing a date to your girlfriend’s event to your girlfriend?” Unable to stop myself, I walk into the bathroom and close the door. I’m the only one at the shop right now and we’re closed so I don’t expect anyone to come in, but I don’t want to risk my family turning on the cameras and finding me jacking off in the office, either.
The sound of Jake’s voice is working me over as if his hands were on me.
“Yeah. I mean obviously she knows we’re friends.”
A ball of tension lodges itself in the pit of my stomach and I sit on the lid of the toilet, planting my elbows on my knees.
“Jake, I don’t have it in me to fuck around behind her back. Just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean it isn’t cheating.”
“Damn it, Dylan,” he growls, making my dick twitch. “I know that, but I’m going fucking crazy. It’s only been twenty-four hours and I’m crawling out of my skin with the need to touch you again.”
I stand, my hand flying to the zipper on my coveralls, letting them drop onto the floor, before my pants follow suit and I fist my cock.
“I know how you feel.” My breathing is ragged and I know I’ve given myself away when Jake asks what I’m doing right this second. “What do you think I’m doing?”
“I think you’re pumping your shaft to the sound of my voice.”
“You win.”
“What’s my prize?” he asks, his voice low and seductive.
“Whatever you want. Just keep talking,” I beg, chasing my orgasm.
“I want you to come to the event with me. I want to see you in a suit and tie and watch everyone’s eyes follow you around the room, knowing I’m going to break every rule I’m supposed to have before the night is over. I want to get on my knees for you again and feel you come undone as you spill down my throat, giving me another piece of you. I want to feel not alone for the first time in my life.”
“ Jesus, Jake. ”
“Will you do it? Will you come with me? Will you come for me?”
“I…oh, fuck…fuck…ahh…” My grunts act as my consent as I make a mess of my hand and wrist and slump back against the ceramic tank behind me. “You’re relentless.”
“I can’t help the way you make me feel.”
Starting to clean up, I agree to the event. “Fine. I’ll go. But only if Cora says it’s okay. And Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“We go as friends and not the kind who make out. I’m not a friends-with-benefits kind of guy. Especially when it involves a third person who is unaware of what’s going on.” It’s easy to justify what I just did because Jake didn’t actually touch me, nor did he see it, and I’m seriously kidding myself if I think I can stay on the straight and narrow anywhere Jake is concerned, but nonetheless, I have to try.
“I understand. I want you in my life in whatever capacity you’re willing to give me.”
“It isn’t about what I’m willing to give you . Hell, man, if it wasn’t obvious a second ago, I’ll give it all to you. You’re the one who isn’t free to give yourself to me. ”
I’ve played the role of dirty little secret before and I swore to myself — and my family — I wouldn’t do it again. So, no matter how much it pains me, I have to lay down the law with Jake now.
“What if I could give you—” he starts before he’s interrupted by a shrill sound.
WAAA-WAAA-WAAA
“What the fuck is that?” I yell over the blaring alarm slicing through the phone.
“Shit, I gotta roll!” Jake yells back.
Before I can tell him to be careful, the line is silent.
He’s gone.
I fire off a text while an uneasy feeling settles in my gut…again. It seems to do that a lot when Jake is involved.
Dylan 8:06pm
Please let me know when you get back and that you’re safe.
I finish up in the shop, shut everything down, arm the system, and head home. It’s nine-thirty. Dad’s in bed. Cassie’s light is on, but I don’t stop. Instead, I go straight to my shower, placing my phone’s ringer on high and setting it on the counter before I climb in.
I don’t want to be this needy version of myself, but ultimately, when Jake still hasn’t texted or called by midnight, I decide fuck it. It’s who I am.
Dylan 12:05am
I really hate this. My heartrate hasn’t dropped below 160 since we got off the phone.
I feel like I’m running a marathon.
I’m still scrolling on my phone, impatiently waiting for his response when there’s a knock on my door.
“Yeah?” I call, wondering why Cassie or my dad are up this late.
“Twin talk?” Cassie asks, opening my door.
Twin talk is the name we gave our late night chats when we were younger. Cass and I shared a room until we were twelve. We wanted to share a room for longer, but once we hit puberty our parents told us we needed our own spaces.
If one of us had something on our mind and needed to talk about it without being teased or judged or in fear of the other one telling mom or dad, we called a twin talk. Kind of like crying uncle , mercy , or no joy . It means we’re serious and something’s up.
I flip my covers open and slide over making room for her to climb in my bed.
“Always.”
We lie on our backs in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling.
“What’s on your mind?” I ask her.
“You. Dad. The three of us.”
Although Cassie isn’t shy about calling a twin talk, she often needs leading questions to start opening up.
“What about us?”
“Are you ever resentful that we’re twenty-seven and still live with our dad?”
I know what she means and this isn’t the time to remind her that we made this choice.
“Sometimes I resent a lot of things,” I admit. Mom for dying. Dad for needing us. Myself for being attracted to men and making life much harder than it already was.”
“Would you resent me if I moved away?”
My body jolts with the question and the bed shifts as I roll onto my side to look at her in the darkness. Immediately, I want to beg her not to leave me here alone, but I can’t be that selfish. She deserves more than this shop and a lifetime of servitude.
“I’d miss you like fucking crazy, but I wouldn’t resent you, Cass.”
“I just…I saw your smile when Jake picked you up for the lake and I want that for you. And then I realized I want that for me, too, and I just don’t think I’m going to find it here.”
“What will you do? Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure quite yet. I just think it’s time for a change. You at least lived by yourself for a period of time and got your auto mechanic’s certificate. I need to choose a path and take some chances for myself.”
I grab her hand and lace our fingers.
“You know I’ll support you and help you any way I can.”
“I know Dyl.” We lie in silence until she finally asks. “So, what happened between you and Jake yesterday? You were so busy today we didn’t have a chance to catch up.”
“Well, for starter’s you were right. He’s gay.”
“I KNEW IT!” she yells excitedly.
“Cass, shhhh!” I clamp my free hand over her mouth, making her giggle and pull her other hand free from mine undoubtedly so she can make wild hand gestures while she shrieks in the dark.
She kicks her feet in excitement under the covers like a six-year-old, making me laugh.
“I knew he was into you! How’d you find out?”
I summarize yesterday’s events, leaving out the gory details of the mutual hand job in the kitchen and the blowjob in the parking deck.
But my sister has trouble with boundaries where I’m concerned.
“Dylan Ryder, I don’t believe, for one second, that all he did was tell you he was gay and that was it. Don’t you dare hold out on me.”
“He might’ve said it after he backed me into the wall and kissed the hell out of me,” I admit. Giving her a few details, but certainly not the whole story.
“What about the girlfriend you thought he had?”
“Oh, he has her. She damn near caught us making out in the kitchen when she surprised us and came over.”
Cassie giggles like that’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “No way! Oh my God, what would you have done?”
“In some ways, I think it might’ve been better if she had caught us,” I admit.
“Better how?”
“It would’ve forced Jake to come clean about being gay and maybe we’d stand a chance. As it is, he doesn’t see a way out so I told him friends is all we can be.”
Cassie puts her head on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Dyl. That sucks because I think he really likes you.”
Before I can answer, my phone rings. It’s close to one in the morning but as soon as I see it’s an incoming FaceTime call from Jake, my heart skips a beat.
“I’ll go,” Cassie whispers.
“No, stay. Twin talk isn’t over.”
She nestles in beside me as I swipe to answer the call. Jake’s face is covered in black soot with streaks of sweat smearing it across his face.
I bolt upright, kicking the covers off.
“Jake, what the hell happened? Are you okay?”
“That’s what I get for saying we don’t see that many fires. I’m fine. A little dirty and a lot tired, but fine. We got everyone out. I had to climb in a second story window and rescue a toddler. It was scary as fuck because the flames were starting to lick underneath the kid’s door. Thankfully, the parents were smart enough to keep it closed and relied on a baby monitor. If the door had been left open, the kid would have been dead by the time we arrived.”
His voice is monotone like a zombie.
“Where are you now? What do you need?”
“We just got the truck reset back at the station. I’m waiting for my turn in the showers. I just…I just wanted to see your face and know you’re okay.”
“I’m good.”
“And Cassie? Your dad? They’re all good?”
My throat is tight and tears burn behind my eyes because even in this state, he’s concerned about my family. I reach over and turn my light on as Cass sits up and waves at the camera.
“Hey, Jake. We’re all good over here. Dylan and I were just catching up, but if you need a minute with him, just say the word.”
“No, stay. I only have a second, I just…” he falters, squeezing his eyes shut. “I just needed to see him.”
“I took the Corvette out today,” I tell Jake in an effort to distract him from the images he’s clearly trying to scrub from his brain. “I couldn’t feel the clutch stick, but I’ll take it back out tomorrow to be sure.”
As if he doesn’t realize what he’s admitting, he says, “That’s probably because I had the clutch replaced last year.”
Cassie elbows me in the side and I know it’s her silent way of telling me she was right…again . My heart fucking soars.
Instead of calling him out on yet another attempt to orchestrate a way to see me, I let it slide. “No worries. I’m happy to take a look at anything that doesn’t feel right, sound right, or look right. Especially with that car.”
He flashes me a quick smile. “Thanks. I gotta run. Shower’s open. Can I call you later?”
“I’ll be offended if you don’t.” I don’t care if later means in an hour or in two days, I just want him to call.
And that’s not good.