21. Jake
Chapter 21
Jake
I wipe the sweat from my forehead and finish my last set of bench press. I’ve always been motivated in the gym, but nothing really makes me push my limits quite like seeing Dylan naked.
I’ll never catch up to his mass because there are just some things my genes won’t allow and a forty-inch chest is one of them. But I can do my best to stay physically appealing to him. Now that I hope to be on my knees and back a lot, I want to ensure he has a good view.
I re-rack the weights right as my phone chirps. The custom text alert tells me it’s Cora and I scramble for my phone.
Cora 9:57am
You up?
Jake: 9:57am
Yeah, I’ve been up for a while.
Cora 9:58am
Wasn’t sure how much sleep you got.
Looks like we’re jumping right in.
Jake 9:59am
Yeah. We should probably talk about that.
Cora 10:00am
Coffee at my place?
Jake 10:00am
Just finished at the gym. Let me grab a quick shower and I’ll be over.
Cora 10:02am
Door’s unlocked.
I have no idea how this is going to go. I’m nervous, but not as much as I think I should be. I trust Cora. I always have.
Dylan’s scent still lingers on my skin even after two showers and the gym. Perhaps it’s just in my memory, but either way, I’m drawing unbelievable strength from it this morning.
It’s a Sunday morning. Usually, I’d be on my way to the office because that’s what workaholics who love their job and have equally busy friends do, but today I’m parking outside my girlfriend’s house to have a conversation about my…boyfriend?
Just thinking the term makes me giddy. And then I remember that in order to be able to claim Dylan as my boyfriend, I have to break Cora’s heart first and my strength begins to waver.
Cora’s parent’s neighborhood is quiet and I definitely disturb the peace by loudly announcing my arrival when I shut my car door.
“Cor?” I yell, trying to decipher where she is as I step into her beautifully decorated foyer without bothering to knock.
“Kitchen,” she calls back.
I pass through the living room, smiling when I see trashy reality TV show reruns playing on the flatscreen.
“Coffee?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No thanks. I’ve already had several cups and been to the gym. I should probably switch to something else.”
Without asking, she opens her fridge and pours me a glass of freshly-squeezed grapefruit juice. Cora hates grapefruit, but she knows it’s my favorite. She slides the glass to me across the counter and puts the pitcher back in the fridge.
Just like me, she’s been up for a while. Her hair is in a stylish ponytail, she has glasses on — although I know they aren’t prescription — and she’s wearing a high-power pantsuit like she’s about to meet the CEO of Microsoft.
I don’t shy away from her gaze as she props her forearms on the bar and softens her eyes at me.
“How long?”
I don’t try to buy time by asking how long what? We both know why I’m here.
“I’ve been attracted to him since the minute I saw him.”
“Were you ever going to tell me if I hadn’t caught you?”
I lick my lips to stave off the inevitable for a second longer before answering.
“No.” Her eyebrows shoot to her hairline, surprised by my honesty. “It doesn’t change anything. My family made it clear that being gay wasn’t an option for me. And regardless of my sexual orientation, I do love you, Cora.”
She straightens up, replacing her forearms with her palms on the counter. “Maybe it doesn’t change anything for you, but it sure changes a hell of a lot for me, Jacob. And what do you mean your family made it clear being gay wasn’t an option ?”
Fuck. This was already hard enough without having to divulge this much truth. I swallow the bile rising in my throat and choose my words carefully.
“My father will have me removed from the company as well as revoke my inheritance if I pursue a relationship with a man,” I tell her plainly.
She reaches out and grabs my hand, skirting around the edge of the counter, and leads me through the patio doors to the couch outside on her brick pool deck.
Fall is slowly arriving and with it, such pleasant temperatures it makes being inside almost unbearable. The fountains spitting into the pool give us some background noise so the silence between our statements isn’t so deafening. Cora sits down, but keeps my hand in hers.
“What would you have done when it came time to get married?”
Goddamn I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t start lying now. “I would’ve married you.”
“Because your father was blackmailing you.”
“Because I love you and—”
“But you’re not attracted to me,” she clarifies.
“Not sexually, no.” Geez, I can’t even look at her as I confess.
She stands and begins to pace. Huffing out an indignant sigh she says, “Christ, Jacob! We’ve had sex! How did that work? Surely you felt something? ”
Finally hearing the anger I expected last night, I scrub my hand down my face. “I…I have a prescription for Viagra.”
“Oh my God, this just keeps getting better.” A look passes over her features. It’s dark and swirling with emotions that she keeps under control like always. “Do you feel like this is something we can move past? Because if this is a phase, or like an every-now-and-then-thing, I can overlook it.”
My eyes grow wide as I try to stay calm, uttering words I’ve needed to say for almost two decades.
“Cora, I’m gay. It’s not a phase.”
In a rare display of heated emotion, Cora whirls to face me. “And what about me, Jacob?”
I want to go to her, but don’t know if she wants me to get any closer, so I stay seated.
“Cora, you’re beautiful, brilliant, and have a heart of gold. You’re also young. You’ll find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.
She blows out a breath and runs her hand down her ponytail, calming herself. She closes her eyes and upon opening them, I watch as her expression changes from despondent to determined. Finally taking a seat on the couch next to me, she crosses her legs, her thigh pressed against mine.
“I’ve known we would end up together since I was twelve. Your name was always on my parent’s lips. Looking back now, I realize that was probably done on purpose. I would get so excited to see you at events at the club. Every time you acknowledged me, I would obsess over the interaction for days. By the time you finally asked me out on our first date, I was already in love with you. To find out now that it was all orchestrated…makes me feel so foolish and manipulated. I’ve counted on a future with you. I’ve planned for that future. I was promised that future. And I’m not stupid, I knew something was going on with Dylan…but I thought we would get past it. Hell, even Steve assured me we would get past it which is why I threw you two together last night. I figured the faster you got it out of your system, the faster we could move on.”
My attention snags on one name. “You’ve talked to my father about this?”
Her cheeks turn rosy and her eyes drop to her hands. “He’s concerned about Dylan being in your life. He, too, realizes something is going on.”
Of course he does. I’ve practically shoved it in his face every chance I’ve had. My desperation morphing into defiance since the day Dylan and I met.
“When did you discuss this?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even and my volume reasonable.
“The first time he questioned me was when I met him to pick up his donation to the silent auction. Then last night, he didn’t buy my story about the fever, but I promised you I would cover for you, so I held strong, hoping I was wrong.” She looks down at her hands, tears welling in her eyes.
I reach over and squeeze her hand, hating that my father’s greed has caused so much damage to her kind heart and fragile soul. He may have used her to control me, but I allowed him to use me as his weapon of choice to solidify his friendship with Martin, hurting Cora in the process.
“I hate this so much, Cor. I never wanted to hurt you. I was prepared to do the best I could as a husband. You are without a doubt, the most incredible woman I know and I would have loved you the best way I knew how. Dylan was just…so…unexpected.” I’m trying to explain, but I think I’m making it worse so I switch gears. “Were you honestly happy with the way things were between us?” Selfishly, I need to hear her say no . I need to know that although it hurts now, I’m helping her find the life she wants too.
She smiles at me sweetly, compassion and understanding in her eyes as she runs her fingers along my cheek before trailing her thumb across my closed lips.
“I was when I thought it was real,” she admits, landing a direct blow to the organ in my chest. She laughs, but it sounds bitter. I still have her hand in mine and am relieved she hasn’t tried to pull away yet. “Did you know when Dylan’s in a room, he’s all you see,” she says, almost wistfully. And that’s when I realize she realizes I’ve never looked at her that way.
“ Christ. ” I scrub my hand down my embarrassed face. “Cora, can you forgive me? I don’t know what it is about him that makes it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself and my head on straight. I’m so sorry we hurt you.”
“You’re in love with him, Jacob. That much is clear.” Her voice has lost all emotionality, causing her to sound numb. Resigned to the fact that we’re breaking up…that her future no longer looks the way she’s thought it would since she was a preteen. And I fucking hate myself for doing this to her. I hate my father for doing this to me. To us.
Not having enough time to unpack her bold declaration of my love for Dylan or dive deeply enough to figure out if she’s right — although, I suspect she is and I feel like Dylan should be the first person I admit that too — I shift the focus to the question burning inside me.
“What happens next?”
“Whatever you want, I guess.” She shrugs.
“I’d like to know your thoughts. I know we have an image to maintain. I also know that our society thrives on drama and scandal and I don’t want my misdeeds to cause any harm to your business or your reputation.”
Cora snorts a laugh and looks at me over her shoulder. “If Whit can survive banging the pool boy, I think we’ll be fine.”
“Did she survive that, though?” I ask. Whitney doesn’t give a single fuck about what other people think of her.
Cora does.
Besides, people still whisper and cut their eyes at Whitney, not bothering to shield the fact that they think less of her. I can’t allow Cora to go through that. I’ve already failed Cora in a big way. Now I have to protect her the best I can and hope it isn’t too little too late.
“Well, what do you propose?” she asks, her fingertips brushing lightly back and forth across my forearm, making me sleepy. Cora’s touch is soothing and she remains a safe place for me even in light of all of this. It’s hard to undo an entire history with someone, especially when you still care about them.
I think in silence for a few minutes, wracking my brain to see if there’s a way to solve multiple problems at once, but my brilliant ex-girlfriend — God, that feels so foreign and yet, it fills me with such relief I could weep — speaks first.
“What if you and I issue a joint statement that we’ve broken up? That it was a mutual decision and we still love and respect each other and look forward to remaining in each other’s lives?” She gains momentum as she talks. “What if I’m the one who outs you and announces your relationship with Dylan while offering my full support? That way, I come out looking like a gem, and let’s be honest, you owe me that much.” She winks at me and it’s like I’m seeing her for the first time. This is a level of strength I didn’t know she possessed. “If you go public with Dylan,” she continues, “and still lose your job after that, I think you probably have a pretty hefty, and very public, discrimination suit on your hands, which your father will likely want to avoid. We both know he won’t respond kindly, but maybe we could make him as uncomfortable as possible for a little bit?” She has a wicked smirk on her face and a hint of mischief in her eyes.
“You would do that for me? For Dylan?” I ask, completely dumbfounded because honestly, her plan is brilliant.
“Absolutely. Your father fucked me over too, remember?”
I don’t point out that her father agreed to the plan just as much as mine, but souring her and Martin’s relationship isn’t on my agenda, nor is it any longer my business.
“Do you think Ines would let us do it on air? I really think we need as much local exposure as possible.” Before either of our fathers can twist the story into something it isn’t.
Cora sits up, pulling away from me, but turns around so she can see me.
“Sure. I’ll reach out. Could we do it after I get back from the U.K. next week? I’m sure Ines will need some time to find a spot and that way I can also have some time to digest this change.”
“Of course. Whatever you need,” I agree, readily.
“Okay. For now, it’ll be our little secret.”
I want to give her another hug, but I already feel her retreating from me. Our moment is over. Our relationship is over. The facade is over. So, I keep my distance not wanting to make it harder than I already have.
“You’re the most incredible person I know, Cor,” I repeat, not knowing what other words to use to convey how grateful I am.
“Maybe a close second, but I think it’s pretty obvious who’s in the top spot,” she responds.
Before I lose the opportunity and not wanting to dwell on this particular subject any longer, I ask another question that’s been bothering me for a while.
“Did you know your dad has been buying businesses on the south side of town? A couple of them on the same street as Dylan’s auto body shop?”
She doesn’t seem concerned. “I think he mentioned it in passing. I know my dad has been trying to get more involved in the real estate market so I suppose I’m not surprised. He can probably get them pretty cheaply with the growing crime rate. People get scared and then they just want out, you know?”
I spend the next week with the words cheaply, growing crime rate, people scared, and just want out, rolling through my head, swirling faster and faster like a tornado about to tear through the street her father is gobbling up.
It’s just good business, right? Martin’s far too smart to risk his political career by getting caught up in some shady dealings just to make a buck…I think.
But what about my father?
It still doesn’t sit well with me that my dad’s signature was on those closing documents right next to Martin’s, but the Beautiful Deceit concert is finally upon us and now that we don’t have to hide, I push thoughts of Martin and my father to the back of my mind to be dealt with later.