Chapter 19 Lina
lina
It had been a long time since my brain was quiet.
Ever since I was a kid, I felt like my mind was going ninety miles per hour.
My body was barely able to catch up, always running the risk of being overstimulated and burning out.
Riding helped that. It centered me and gave me a focus.
As a teenager, I was wild, unruly even. Testing all my limits, pushing to see how far I could go before Dad yelled at me or he let me get bucked off.
He’d pull me to the side and just ask in a level tone, “Now what can we learn from that?”
I was always too much for Mom. When I told her I wanted to live with Dad permanently, she seemed almost relieved.
I understood her response, even if it stung that my mom didn’t want me staying with her.
I was too much for most people. But fuck them.
I never once tried to rein myself in to make myself more palatable for them.
If they didn’t like me for me, they weren’t worth my time anyway.
It was probably why I never had a steady boyfriend.
I had plenty of friends growing up. I was the fun one.
The one who was always organizing the parties and shenanigans.
But the boys came and went. They were mostly there for the sex.
I didn’t blame them. I was there for the sex, too.
Fun one, remember? As soon as it turned into a relationship, though, I was suddenly too much for them.
I never felt as though someone could accept all of me. That I could be secure in the fact that I belonged to someone. That I was just enough for someone.
Until now.
Standing in the middle of the arena back at Thornbrush, leading Mushu in a circle while Reed’s daughter, Penn, sat on top, made me feel as if I could have it all. Watching her grip the reins, a huge smile on her little face beneath her helmet, made my chest tighten.
My brain was quiet, too. Just enjoying this moment of peace, smelling the sawdust and hay, hearing the clomp of Mushu’s hooves and Penn’s giggle made me feel as though my boots were pulling energy from the earth.
The warmth of being home spread through my bones and rejuvenated me.
I hadn’t realized how much being on the circuit had drained me.
As soon as we got back home, the double-wide was ready for Reed and Penn, and Jude and Reed were busy moving everything in.
Seeing Penn fly down the steps of Jude and Romy’s house into her dad’s outstretched arms after we drove up made my ovaries hurt.
What the fuck was that? Since when did my baby-making clock start ticking?
I hadn’t even thought about kids. I think in my mind it was just something far off in the distance.
Something I’d eventually do when I got older, but I was twenty-seven.
Maybe this was just something that happened to most people around this age?
Or maybe it was just something people thought of when they found a compatible partner?
“Shit,” I said under my breath. So much for my thoughts not spiraling. I had no idea what I was doing, but Penn sure was fucking cute in her little Carhartt overalls and cowboy boots, her wispy, dark-blonde hair tied back in a low ponytail.
“Oh, Mushu.” Penn giggled, petting his mane.
I turned in a circle, holding his lead while Mushu walked.
“Do you think my dad is done setting up my room?” she asked.
“Just about. One more turn, and then you can help me unsaddle Mushu before we head over there.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” she practically squealed. Mushu bobbed his head as if he were as excited as she was.
After another turn around the arena, I walked Penn and Mushu back to the stables.
It was a warm July evening, the sun still high in the sky, promising another hot day tomorrow.
Dad wasn’t kidding when he said we were entering a drought.
It hadn’t rained in over fourteen days. Willows Rodeo had already canceled their world-famous fireworks show, pivoting instead to a small drone show.
It wasn’t going to be the same, but I was thankful they were taking precautions.
We were entering wildfire season, and there was already a report of a four-thousand-acre fire in southern Oregon, prompting evacuations of ranches and communities as it continued to grow.
Mushu nuzzled Penn’s cheek as we doled out his hay. “Aw! He loves me,” she declared, a sweet smile breaking across her face.
I smiled, taking her little hand as we closed his stall. “I think he might.”
“Bye, Mushu!” she said, giving him a quick wave as we left. Mushu picked up his head briefly from his dinner to flick his ears toward her voice.
My chest warmed seeing her interact with my favorite guy.
“Do you think he’s going to win?” she asked. “My daddy said you’re the fastest barrel racer he’s ever seen.”
I swallowed, feeling my cheeks heat. “Yeah? Your daddy said that?”
She nodded, her little feet skipping as we walked away from the stables and I loaded her into the UTV parked outside.
“Can I drive?” she asked. She was definitely not shy. I loved a girl up for anything.
“Fuck yes, you can drive,” I told her.
“Fucking yes!” she exclaimed, climbing onto my lap in front of the steering wheel.
“My kind of girl.” I chuckled. “Don’t get me in trouble with your dad, though.”
I revved the engine to life, pushing on the pedals and helping her steer our way through the property to the other side of the ranch where the double-wide sat.
All the lights were on. Jude had treated it to a fresh coat of white paint.
Fern baskets hung from the awning over the front porch.
The door opened, and my heart did a silly little flip seeing Reed step out onto the porch.
My pussy clenched in response to him in a tight, white T-shirt showing off his muscles and Wranglers that hugged those tree-trunk thighs.
He rubbed the scruff of his beard and narrowed his eyes when he saw Penn driving us to a stop.
Now that we were home, I already missed having him in my bed.
One night, where I had him three times before we fell asleep in each other’s arms, and then again in the morning before we even got out of bed, only had me wanting more.
Seeing the bruises on my throat and breasts every morning since then gave me a nice reminder of where his mouth had been.
I was desperate to have him again, to ease the ache between my thighs.
“Daddy!” Penn yelled. “Look at me! Lina let me drive!”
“She did, did she?” His dark eyes pinned me down.
I gave him a big grin. “She’s a pro at it. She’ll be racing down the trails in no time.” I winked, tossing my hair over my shoulder.
Reed crossed his arms, watching us cut the engine and step off the UTV. “I’m going to be in a heap of trouble with you two. How was riding Mushu?”
“The fucking best!” Penn cried out, running toward her dad on the porch.
Reed shot me a look over his shoulder as he scooped her up, his lips pinching together to keep from laughing.
I shrugged, not holding back my own laughter. “Yep, you’re in for it, Daddy.” I gave him a sexy wink.
His jaw flexed and his throat bobbed at my words, his eyes giving me a heated warning. God, I loved testing him. Seeing how far I could push him before he snapped. And this time, it may result in him bending me over the porch railing or tying me to a bedpost. I was here for all of it.
“Can I see my room now?” Penn pleaded, putting her palms on either side of his face, turning his attention back to her.
“Yep, it’s all done now.”
“Is it a princess room?” she asked, bouncing up and down in her dad’s arms.
“You’ll just have to wait and see for yourself.”
She wriggled from his arms, running into the house. Reed and I exchanged glances before following her inside.
“It is! It’s a princess room!” she yelled from down the hall.
“Jude did a great job getting it ready for you,” I commented from the entryway, taking in the updates. He’d traded out his leather couch for a gray, microfiber one for durability. A shelving unit was set up by the TV with baskets for toys and books.
“I’m beyond grateful for your family’s help in getting us set up here,” Reed said, his fingers brushing mine at my side as we followed Penn’s excited cries down the hallway.
I smiled up at him, his dark eyes warm as he looked at me. My chest clenched. “I’m glad we’re able to help you and Penn.”
Penn met us at her door. “Come on, Lina, you have to see this!” She grabbed my hand, yanking me into the room that was once an office and was now a kid’s room, complete with twin bed, dresser, and toy bins.
She started naming off everything, pulling out all her toys to show me, and the whole time, Reed’s eyes were glued on me, caressing me like the softest, warmest touch. It was something I could get used to. And as much as it should … it didn’t scare me.
Sage and I stocked the last of the makeshift bar beneath the raised beams of Jude and Romy’s new barn.
The DJ I hired—because go big or go home—was already testing out his setup with a Brooks and Dunn tune.
I couldn’t help shimmying my hips while I unpacked the bottles Sage brought over from The Rooster.
“This is a little overkill for just the three of us.” Romy wasn’t one to have a plethora of friends …
only a few close ones whom she knew and trusted.
But I didn’t think that was a reason to not still throw her a party.
“I’m glad you decided to let the guys come, too,” Romy said, stepping over the wall frame to join us.
She looked amazing in a cream-colored maxi dress with a slit up her leg, a turquoise belt cinched at her waist. It didn’t even look like she just had a baby.
“Lina didn’t take my ‘no’ for an answer,” Sage grumbled at my side.
I rolled my eyes. “You know Christian would’ve made some excuse to drop by anyway, just like he does when we have our movie nights. He’s always crashing girls’ night. The guy is obsessed with you.”
“Ugh!” Sage complained. “I’m popping this bottle so I can get drunk before he gets here. He’s more tolerable when I’ve got my buzz on.”
Romy and I exchanged glances. The girl was always trying to convince us that she didn’t have any feelings for the guy.
“Might as well pour one for me, too,” I told her, pushing a champagne flute closer to her. “What about you, Romy?”
“Fine. Just a small one.”
I set another flute in front of Sage while she uncorked the bottle and poured the bubbly. The bubbles tickled my nose when I brought it to my mouth.
There weren’t any barn walls yet, just the frame, giving us a clear view of the ranch, the expanse of sagebrush and wild grass disappearing into the ponderosa pines.
The day had been a scorcher, and I could still feel the sweat dripping down my spine, making my black crop top stick to my back.
An evening breeze was beginning to kick up, cooling my heated flesh and ruffling the fringe of my mini skirt.
I twisted my hips to the music, letting the fringe brush across my thighs.
I sighed in relief with a cool drink in my hand and the air wafting across my skin.
“This is better than strippers,” Romy remarked behind me.
I spun around, looking past her to see Jude, Reed, Christian, and Kale strutting toward us in full cowboy getup, complete with chaps, hats, and boots.
Baby Charli was tucked inside an infant carrier on Jude’s chest. Seeing him completely embrace fatherhood made me so happy.
He was already such a great dad. Watching Penn tug on Reed’s hand was making me experience a completely different feeling.
Something I hadn’t felt before. A feeling that made my heart feel warm and full all at the same time.
They’d all been out working the ranch earlier, but now they were all cleaned up with fresh jeans and button-ups.
As they approached, I could smell the cologne drifting toward me.
I licked my lips when my eyes connected with Reed’s, his own mouth tipped for a moment before disappearing into his usual scowl.
“Who’s idea was this?” Sage asked, gesturing to their outfits before shooting back her champagne and pouring herself another one.
My eyebrow rose in question. “Seeing Christian in chaps making you hot and bothered?” I asked her.
She shot me a death glare over her champagne glass. I snorted a laugh.
“Jude roped us into this one,” Christian remarked as they all ducked their heads beneath a low two-by-four.
Romy went to Jude’s side, beaming up at her fiancé while he lowered a kiss to her lips. “Anything for my honey. Do you want me to keep these chaps on for later?” he asked her with a lopsided smirk, brushing her lips with another kiss.
“Why is it even a question?” she asked, a glint of mischief in her eyes.
“So it’s obviously foreplay for the soon-to-be newlyweds, but how did you manage to convince this one?” I probed, gesturing to Reed with my glass.
His eyes were so intense on me, raking down my body, that I couldn’t help the flush that crept across my skin while I waited for his reply.
“I owed him,” Reed answered simply in his deep voice, his gaze still not leaving me as it traveled down my bare legs to where they disappeared into my boots.
“We’ll hang out for a little bit, but then we’re on kid duty for the rest of the night while you ladies have fun,” Jude explained.
I squeezed my thighs together, my eyes still watching Reed, and the movement did not get past him. His lips tipped as his eyes found mine once again.
“We may have another surprise, too.” I heard my dad’s voice come from my right. I turned to welcome him to the party and froze when I saw who stepped into the barn with him.
Romy let out a sob before she muffled her cries with her hand.