Chapter 30 Lina
lina
The reception was already in full swing by the time I returned.
Christian turned up the boombox, a slow country song playing.
Jude and Romy, with Charli in their arms, were sharing their moment.
Dad was dancing with Hazel, then spun her out, trading partners with Jude so he could dance with Romy and his namesake.
Kale was a good sport, twirling Penn in her princess dress.
Sage continued to snap photos, oblivious to the fact that Christian couldn’t take his eyes off her in her green sheath dress and wide-brimmed hat.
I took the champagne bottles to one of the tables that was set up with flutes and cupcakes Hazel had baked for the occasion. I popped a bottle, giving a celebratory whoop like I usually did, but it was lackluster.
“Okay, what’s wrong?” Sage asked, setting the camera down so she could give me her full attention. “Where did Reed go?”
I poured myself a glass before setting down the bottle. “His ex called him needing help or some shit,” I grumbled, taking a sip of the champagne, letting the bubbles swirl in my mouth.
Her brows rose to her hat. “He left?”
I took another drink, hoping that it would cool my insides, but the fizz felt exactly how my blood felt, and I didn’t mean effervescent—I meant boiling. Ready to bubble over. I was pissed because here I was, feeling fucking embarrassed, just like I had after that first time we’d met.
“It’s bullshit, really,” I told her. “Here I was, ready to have a relationship with the guy, have him at my side at a family wedding, and what does he do? He leaves to go to his fucking ex-wife.” Of course I leave out the part that I’m desperately in love with him.
I couldn’t bear to look Sage in the eye. “Did he say what’s going on?”
“Nope.” I popped the P. “Just said he needed to take care of something real quick and that he’d be right back.
So … he asked me to watch Penn.” I was also worried.
Whatever it was had to be bad enough to make him leave and ask me to watch his daughter.
Was this about the stalker? Was this about Junior?
“That’s shitty. I’m sorry, Lina.” Sage poured herself some champagne. “We could happily drown our woes in the corner if you need a drinking buddy.”
“You don’t want to dance?” I asked her. The music changed, and Christian stood from his chair, about to head over to us.
“Not really.”
“Because it looks like someone wants to dance with you.”
Christian was already striding over, his smile deepening his dimples.
“Oh, God.” Sage threw back her champagne flute. “He doesn’t know when to throw in the towel, does he?”
“I really don’t think ‘I give up’ is in his vocabulary.”
“And that’s the fucking problem,” Sage said, almost distantly, as if remembering something. “He needs to.”
“What’s the problem?” Christian asked.
“Just that you won’t give up on her,” I told him, giving her a smirk.
“Bitch.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but there was a flicker of a smile on her lips. “No, the real problem is that Reed left without an explanation.”
“Oh, shit.” Christian grimaced. “He’s a dead man, isn’t he?”
“More than likely,” I confirmed.
“Do we need to have a talk with him?” he asked, gesturing between him and Sage.
“Fuck.” She sighed at his emphasis, throwing up her hands. “I don’t know why I even try anymore.”
“You can stop fighting it and just dance with me?” Christian held out his hand.
“It’s just us, Sage.” I bumped my shoulder with hers. “Whatever happens at the bonfire, stays at the bonfire,” I said, referring to the place we all stood, even if there wasn’t a burn pile anymore. “You know, we never talked about Jude and Romy getting it on in his truck last summer.”
“What the fuck?” Romy asked, her and Hazel joining us.
“Oh, come on.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s no secret. We all saw you then, adjusting your clothes when we returned to the stables.”
“Shit.” Her cheeks flushed pink.
“See, Sage?” I poured Romy a glass, handing it to her. “Go dance with Christian. We won’t say anything for at least … well, not until next year.” I laughed at my own joke.
“Fucking fine,” Sage relented, slamming her champagne flute down.
“Shit, don’t break the glass,” I scolded, holding the unlevel table steady as the rest of the glasses rattled.
“Really?” Christian asked. His eyes went wide, and he was beaming like a fucking idiot. “Is this a dream? Quick, Sage, pinch me!”
He held out his arm to her, but she slapped it away, grabbing his hand instead. “Don’t press your fucking luck. I’ll give you one dance.”
His grin was so wide, I thought it might break his jaw. “One dance it is, baby. I can live on the memory for the rest of my life and die a happy man.”
Sage rolled her eyes, but there was a smile begging to break free.
“So what’s going on with you and Reed?” Hazel asked, as we watched Christian take Sage in his arms.
I poured myself another glass. “We apparently still have some things to work out.”
“Where did he take off to?” Romy asked.
“To his ex-wife.” I pressed my lips together, starting to get pissed all over again. Sage and Christian had only been a momentary distraction.
“Yikes. Wrong move, buddy,” Hazel commented.
I shook my head. “He didn’t even tell me what was going on, just that he’d be right back.”
“At least he’s not just grunting anymore. But it does sound like he needs to work on his communication skills,” Romy said. I nearly laughed, remembering her communication skills with Jude early on. At least there’d been growth since then.
“Oh, don’t you worry. I’m going to force that man to fucking communicate with me as soon as he gets back.”
“What’s this I’m hearing?” Jude questioned, joining us with Charli held to his chest. “Do I need to go break some fucking legs?”
“I think she’s got this one handled.” Romy patted his arm.
“Do you want to dance with us, Mama?” he asked, bouncing a sleepy baby Charli.
Romy’s eyes lit up, her face going soft and happy.
“Always,” she said, taking his arm and heading back to the dance floor.
God, I wanted that. As I glanced out at the dance floor, watching Sage enjoying her dance more than she’d ever admit, and seeing Jude’s little family join them, I knew I wanted all of this with Reed.
But everything that came with it honestly scared the shit out of me.
So much for “being right back.” I don’t know what provoked me, but once I got Penn to bed, I grabbed the six-pack of beer I’d swiped from Jude’s house and headed out to the backyard.
There was no way in hell I was going to sit in the quiet house while she slept and I waited for Reed to come home.
I needed to blow off some steam, and the champagne had fallen flat, not even taking the edge off.
My mind was spiraling and my body had to fucking move. Otherwise, I was going to scream.
A roping dummy sat in the yard, and rope hung from the nearby hitching post. I cracked open a can, sipped down the foam, and set it on the picnic table.
One of the upgrades Jude made to the double-wide property was putting in grass and a play area for Penn.
There was even a paddock, ready for Penn’s riding lessons.
I was already making plans to teach her to circle barrels.
Gathering a rope in my hands, I ran it out until I had the lasso in my grip.
Swinging it above my head, I threw it at the dummy horns.
The loop landed and I pulled tight, lassoing the bull just like my daddy taught me.
I loosened the rope, yanking it back into my grasp.
Resting my hand on my hip, I picked up my beer to take another sip before lassoing again.
The back screen door swung open behind me, the hinges creaking in the summer night. I chanced a glance over my shoulder, knowing it would be him. I picked up the can, chugging a few gulps. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, watching the lipstick smear across it.
“Shit, so much for waterproof makeup,” I grumbled to myself.
I felt the air shift as Reed stepped up beside me. In my periphery, his head was bowed beneath his cowboy hat, and his hands were stuffed into his pockets.
I went again, lassoing the dummy horns like it was second nature.
“You were gone awhile,” I said matter-of-factly. I tried to hold it back, wanting to hear him out, but I couldn’t help the venom dripping in every syllable.
“I know, I’m sorry. Did Penn go down okay?” he asked sheepishly.
We still hadn’t looked at each other.
“She went down fine. I had to lie down with her for a little bit while she was falling asleep. She misses her mom and dad.” I knew my words stung, but he needed to hear them.
Reed grimaced. “I know. I hope this won’t be forever. We’re just going through a transition right now.”
I spun on him. “So this is just a transition? For how long? Until Elise gets dumped by Junior? Until you decide you want your family back?”
Reed’s eyes were smoldering beneath his hat brim. “That’s not what I meant. I meant, transitioning into being a single parent, transitioning Penn into this new arrangement. Trying to figure out this shit with her mom.”
I nodded, running my tongue over my teeth. “Sounds like you need some time to figure out your shit, and all I’ve been is a distraction. You should be focusing your energy on Penn and your transition into single fatherhood, not on me. She needs her dad right now.”
Taking another swig of beer, I set down my empty can and walked over to put the rope back on the hitching post.
I turned to see Reed still standing there, his dark eyes boring into me, his jaw tight and his chest heaving.
I froze. He looked like a bull ready to charge.
He took long strides across the yard, heading toward me.
My heart began to pound. One more step and he was stepping into me, his hand wrapping around my neck and pushing me back against the hitching post.
“Sweetheart, you’re the one thing I don’t need to fucking figure out.”
His mouth crashed down on mine, his teeth nipping on my bottom lip, begging me to open for him. I savored his taste for only a second before pushing as hard as I could on his chest to get him off me.
“Then why the fuck did you go to her? Why did you fucking go to her and leave me during a family wedding? Do you know how embarrassed I was? Or should I say how embarrassed I am … again? It’s bullshit!”
His brow furrowed. “I know. I’m so sorry, Lina.
Fuck, that’s the last thing I wanted. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, to leave in the middle of Jude and Romy’s wedding.
Should I expect a visit from Jude soon?” His words were serious, his last question edged with sarcasm in his attempt to break the tension.
“No, I think you showed everyone tonight that they aren’t worth your time.” I knew full well no one thought that, but I was hurt—and hurt people hurt people.
He stepped back as if I’d just slapped him. “That’s not fair. I had to deal—”
“What? What did you have to deal with that was so important that it had to happen right at that moment? Is this going to happen every time your wife––”
“Ex.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ex-wife calls and needs help with something? Is this what I should expect? You’ll drop everything to run to her?
Because if that’s what I should expect, then I don’t know if I can fucking do this, Reed.
I deserve more than this. And so does Penn.
” My nose stung, and tears sprang to my eyes.
I don’t know if I was ready to hear what he had to say, either.
Maybe I was preventing the inevitable heartbreak now, but I needed to know, and he needed to know exactly where I stood.
“You absolutely deserve more than this.” Reed’s voice lowered an octave.
He devoured the distance between us, again wrapping his hand around my neck, his fingers putting slight pressure on my throat, walking us backward again until my back hit the hitching post. “You deserve everything you could possibly wish for—and more.”
His palms then trailed down my neck, over my collarbone and shoulders, down my arms, my skin prickling under his touch.
“What do you think I wish for?” I jutted out my chin, my voice breathy, yet demanding.
“I know you, Lina. I see all those emotions swirling behind those big, brown eyes. You need release, an outlet to surrender them all to. I can give you that, if that’s what you need right now.”