Chapter 4 You’re Fucked
Duncan
Her mouth twisted in amusement, exactly the reaction I hoped for with my face-palm worthy introduction.
We were headed into uncharted waters. Infusing a touch of humor might go a long way to ease the bumps we’d encounter.
And there would be quite a few bumps before we hit solid ground.
Including the one I was about to create.
“I was in Dublin investigating a man named Erik Murray. The guy was––is––extremely dangerous. He used his legitimate organization, Solace, as a front to sell weapons to whoever had the most money. There were also indications he was involved in human trafficking, though nothing has been substantiated. My job was to find a way to become embedded in his organization somehow. I’d been there for a few weeks when I got an alert from an informant. Murray was having a lunch meeting.”
“Let me guess. Shamrock’s?”
“Yes.” I reached out, tucking a lock of her long hair behind her ear, needing to touch her in some way.
“Sorry. Please continue.”
“Murray was at the pub already. Obviously, nothing happened until after you left. My plan was risky, but I didn’t have anything to lose.
Long story short, I saved his life and he offered me a low-level job in his organization.
” I picked up an eggroll from my plate, took a bite, and chewed.
The small reprieve gave me a second to organize my thoughts.
“Two weeks after we started dating, I had a rather heated discussion with my boss and his Irish counterpart. I wanted to pull you in.”
“Pull me in?” Her eyes widened. “What does that mean?”
“It means I asked their permission to bring you up to speed about the investigation and about me.”
“Obviously, they said no.” She resumed eating.
“It was a bit more complicated. They threatened to take away my badge if I opened my mouth.”
“Jerks.”
“Yeah, Sunshine.” I huffed a laugh. “It pissed me off. So I got creative.”
“What did you do?”
“I figured out a way to give you all of me without breaking their ridiculous gag order. You see, the day I spoke with them was the same day I told you about my foster father.”
A look of understanding passed over her features.
It had been a calculated risk, putting my real name out in the open.
Even though the chances were smaller than small, if someone were looking hard enough, they might have been able to find a link between Rogan James and Duncan Palmer.
As good as the FBI was at erasing a person’s past, they couldn’t redact the whole internet.
“Anyway, I spent the next three months keeping my ear to the ground and my finger on the pulse. We had more intel than we knew what to do with, the problem was we didn’t have enough to make an arrest. Niall knew I was getting antsy, so he asked me to meet him.”
“Who’s Niall?”
Sloane took the last bite of her Hunan, placing her empty plate on the coffee table.
I shifted sideways, bringing my knee up onto the cushion between us.
She mirrored my position. Replaying the last chapter of our past would be difficult for both of us.
No more secrets. It was the only way to heal the hurt.
“My handler, the person I reported to. He’s the one I went to see last night.
” Something didn’t add up with the way he reacted to the news of the twins.
A sick feeling came over me when I realized his betrayal may have run deeper than I originally thought.
Praying I was wrong, I asked, “Did the police interview you after the accident?”
“Yes, although I’m not sure why. The guy didn’t seem to actually want my side of the story.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was like he was telling me how the crash happened instead of asking me. The whole interaction was bizarre. He’d cut me off when I tried to correct him, then when I told him you were driving the car, he said my head injury made me an unreliable witness.
I’ll never forget those words. Thankfully, Finn was there.
He kicked the officer out of my room after threatening to file a complaint with the department. ”
“Do you remember what the officer looked like?”
The sickness grew into full-blown nausea while I waited for her response.
“Reddish hair, kinda long and wavy on top, and he wasn’t nearly as tall as you. Sorry, that probably describes half the men in Dublin.”
Son of a bitch.
“I’m ninety-nine-percent positive the man you spoke with at the hospital was Niall.”
His name left my tongue on a growl. Holding the anger inside was no longer possible, not when new layers of his betrayal kept being uncovered.
Apparently, I’d only breached the surface in the hotel room.
Fucking with my life was one thing. Targeting Sloane, especially given the severity of her injuries, was vicious.
She didn’t deserve any of the shit she’d been put through. Guilt by association wasn’t a crime.
“The guy didn’t even blink when I used your name, well, I mean I called you Rogan, but still. If he was your handler, why didn’t he say something? He knew who I was to you, right?”
“He most definitely did.”
“I’m so confused.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.
“He told me you died in the crash, Sloane.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know, but I went to find out.” I reached out, lacing our fingers together and resting them on my knee.
“Before I got to Finn’s, Niall called me from Virginia.
It was the first time I’d spoken to him since I left Ireland.
The conversation didn’t last long. He wanted me to rejoin the investigation, I hung up on him mid-sentence.
An hour later, you opened the door. You standing in front of me, alive and breathing, was a shot to the heart, a triple shot when you told me about the twins.
It was never my intention to hurt you by leaving the way I did.
In my defense, my head was fucked up. All I knew was Niall had intentionally kept us apart and I had to know why.
The fact he was only a short drive away was convenient because, right then, nothing would’ve stopped me from boarding the first plane to Dublin. ”
“What did you find out?” She squeezed my hand reassuringly.
“According to Niall, he was given an order to tell me you didn’t survive.”
“You don’t believe him?”
“I do, which makes me question everything I thought I knew about the accident.”
“How so?”
“If Niall lied about your death, what else did he lie about? Did he lie when he said my cover was burned? I’d been working off the assumption Erik Murray and his people planted the IED because he found out I was an agent.”
Sloane flinched, pulling out of my hold. Then her eyes widened almost comically.
“Time out. Rewind. An IED?”
Shit.
“You didn’t know.”
“That someone tried to”––she mimicked an explosion with her hands––“uh, kill us? Not directly. I knew we didn’t blow out a tire like your guy at the hospital tried to convince me, but a bomb? No. I didn’t have a clue.”
“I have a theory.” Thankfully, she didn’t object when I recaptured her hand, needing the contact to ground me. “My theory’s beyond fucked up, so just hear me out, okay?”
“You just told me someone blew up our car, Duncan. It doesn’t get any more fudged up.”
Sloane listened intently while I laid out every detail, from my conversation with Niall the day before the crash to my decision to leave the FBI if it was the only way to keep her in my life.
The timing was too coincidental. I registered the look of shock slide across her features when she understood where I was going.
“You think someone inside your organization was responsible.”
“At the very least, they used the accident to their advantage.”
“How was my death advantageous?”
“Without you in my life, there was nothing shifting my focus off Murray. They didn’t expect me to wash my hands of the whole operation and bug out.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“I’ve spoken with my team. If the answers are there, they’ll find them.”
“No, you misunderstood. Where do we go from here? Once upon a time, you swore we’d be okay. Is your promise still on the table?”
“Fuck, Sloane.” I yanked her into my chest, wrapping my arms tight around her back. “Isn’t it obvious? I want you. Always.”
“And the twins? Do you want them too?”
“More than my next breath.” I pulled back, dipping down to look straight into her sapphire eyes. “Why aren’t you yelling at me or telling me to take a hike?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Fuck no. I guess I just don’t understand why you aren’t mad.”
“Oh, I’m mad, fuming, actually. But what good would come from staying upset? We’ve suffered enough, don’t you think? The fact is, I always knew you’d come back. I planned for it. Holding on to hope was the only way I survived all those years. Well, that and the twins.”
“You are a gift, Sloane Beckington. I don’t deserve you, but I’m not giving you up.”
“Okay, then we’re what? Dating?”
“No, Sunshine. We’re living.”
“Do you fink he’s a giant, Ro?”
Her whispered voice filtered through my unconscious mind.
I didn’t move, I barely breathed for fear of scaring her.
Sloane and I had talked a while longer and the last thing I remembered was closing my eyes for a moment to catch my second wind before heading home.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep.
From the smell of bacon cooking somewhere in the house, my guess was I’d slept through the night.
“Nope.” He popped the P.
“Where are we ’posed to sit? He’s takin’ up da whole couch.”
Damn, she was adorable, and so inquisitive. It took everything in me not to crack a smile. Luckily, Sloane came to my rescue.
“Hey. Didn’t I tell you guys to leave our guest alone?” she scolded softly.
“Yes, ma’am,” they answered.
“All right, scoot your behinds back to your room for a bit. I’ll call you when breakfast is ready.”