Burned (Sheppard & Sons Investigations #7)

Chapter 1

Madi

It’s been two and a half minutes since I last thought about Matthew “Robin” Robinson.

I thought volunteering to babysit my niece would keep me from thinking about him, but no. Natalie was napping and my mind was free to wander.

Like his hands did that night.

All over my body.

Nope.

For what felt like the millionth time, I forced myself to stop thinking about Matt while sitting on my brother’s couch. Or anywhere else in his house. Which meant never thinking about Matt, since I was staying with Jack and Meg until Emily gave birth to her twins.

Cue the Mission Impossible theme song.

I sipped my tea and walked to the Christmas tree I’d helped Meg and Jack decorate. Every inch was covered in colorful lights, gold garland, and ornaments of all shapes and sizes.

Personally, I thought it was a tad over the top, but it made Meg happy—and what makes Meg happy makes Jack happy—so I kept my opinion to myself.

There were several ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ ornaments scattered on the branches. No surprise there. The entire family was excited to celebrate the next generation’s firstborn child.

I glanced at the baby monitor. Natalie was sleeping soundly, for now. With any luck, she’d need a bottle and changing mere moments before her parents returned home, so they’d be able to continue relaxing.

When I offered to stay home on New Year’s Eve instead of going out, Jack and Meg had given me near-identical raised eyebrows. They didn’t believe me when I told them I wasn’t trying to avoid Matt. I’ve never been a good liar.

Avoiding Matt had been effortless, since he’d spent the SSI holiday break in Colorado.

Avoiding him may have been easy, but avoiding discussing our past with my family—not so much.

My parents at least tried to respect my boundaries when I said I didn’t want to talk about it. My brothers were less considerate.

Despite their bringing it up far too often for my comfort, I’d talked to them about Matt exactly once. When I told them to keep their fucking noses out of my business and ordered them not to talk to Matt about our shared past.

My personal business had nothing to do with Sheppard there’s plenty of time to celebrate before the clock strikes midnight,” Jack offered.

And spend two hours pretending I wasn’t actively avoiding Matt while I was avoiding him like the fucking plague? No thank you.

I looked down at my fuzzy-stocking covered feet, my red plaid flannel pajama pants, and my faded USN T-shirt, which now had baby spit-up on it. “I think I’m good.”

As if reading my mind, Jack added, “He’s not there.”

“Who?” I played dumb.

“You know who, Madi,” Jack said, following me to the kitchen. “We have to talk about it eventually.”

I laughed. “No, we don’t.”

“He works for us.”

“What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China?”

He ran his hand through his wavy brown hair, making it stick up.

“Did you ever tell Dad?”

“I told him all he needs to know.”

“Which is?”

“Christ, Jack. Let it go.”

“I can’t.”

My sigh sounded like a foghorn.

“Fine. I told Dad we had a past, but it was short-lived and we parted ways amicably.”

Jack chuckled. “That’s the wordiest description of a one-night stand I’ve ever heard.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“We’re worried about you.”

“Why?” I put the now-clean bottle in the drying rack. “I told you there’s nothing to worry about. I was a sober, consenting adult. Matt did nothing wrong.”

Jack looked over at Natalie, and his expression softened. Then it hardened again.

“I can’t help thinking about some asshole guy taking advantage of Natalie.”

Why isn’t he listening to me?

“He didn’t.” I cut myself off, not expecting him to suddenly listen to me. I tried a different tactic. “I’m not a child, Jack. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m your older sister.” I poked his chest.

“How could I forget?” He rubbed his chest. “We’ll make sure he leaves you alone.”

“Unnecessary.”

“It’d make us feel better.”

I held my ground. “It’s not about you. And it’d make things worse.”

“Madi, what are we supposed to do? We’ll see him every day.”

“Pretend it didn’t happen. Focus on your daughter. By the time you return to the office, it’ll be old news. No one will care.”

Jack had six weeks of his paternity leave left, though I’d bet my left lung he’d work from home a few hours every day.

Sometimes I envied the closeness my brothers shared. Jamie and I had always had the twin thing going for us, but I’d left for the Navy right after our high school graduation. While we talked regularly, we’d still grown apart.

But Jamie and Jack were tight. Even when they disagreed, they respected one another.

Something they didn’t give me, simply because I was a female.

It was like they’d forgotten I’d earned a Master’s of Science in Nursing while serving twelve years in the Navy. I might not be a combat veteran, but I’d served in places where I had to wear a bullet-proof vest while I treated patients.

I wasn’t weak, timid, or stupid.

And now their firstborn kids will be born a month apart, bringing them closer still.

Just one more way they’ll see me as different. Less than.

When I moved from Jack’s to Jamie’s, to help with the twins, I’d deal with the same bullshit all over again.

“I’ll let it go, for now.”

“Thank you.”

“But I can’t speak for Jamie or Jay.”

“I can handle them.”

“Jamie, maybe, but Jay isn’t a little boy seeking your approval anymore.”

Jamie and Jack had teased Jay when we were kids, making him feel like he was a mistake and didn’t belong in the family.

As an adult it was easy to laugh and shrug off the teasing, but as a kid who struggled with school, while his three older siblings excelled, he’d accepted the role of the family mistake and done his best to live up to it.

It was a miracle he’d never been arrested. They’d never let someone with a criminal record join the Marine Raiders, and making the Marine’s special forces division was the best thing that ever happened to Jay. Until he met his fiancée, Cate.

Now that Jay and Cate were engaged, being single was just another way I differed from my brothers.